having a down day and need encouragement

smallstepper
smallstepper Posts: 17
edited September 19 in Motivation and Support
I don't belong to any other forums and don't usually log on to this very often, but I have had an extremely draining day and am having a bit of an emotional collapse. My life is good, but there are times that I just get overwhelmed and feel so forlorn :brokenheart: . All of the friends that I've had for the past several years have moved to other states and I feel so alone now :cry: . I've tried to reach out to a few people in the last couple of years and develop some good friendships but I've failed to connect and I'm unsure why. It makes me feel like I'm lacking in some way that makes me an undesirable person to spend time with although I know that's not the case in actuality. I've tried to take care of myself physically and have gotten that on a good path, but it seems my emotional well-being has erratic highs and lows, although most people generally see me as a good-natured person and happy. That's because I choose to be that way, I WANT to be a happy person and enjoy life, but I long for some deep and satisfying friendships. I'm 55 years old and it doesn't seem to be so easy to get that nowadays ... in my youth, it was never a problem. I think I overanalyze things perhaps. Plus when I was younger, one of my very best friends broke my trust in a horrible way so I think I have always had trust issues and am afraid to let people into my heart :sad: . Anyone facing this type of thing, or have suggestions? Thanks so much for listening.

Replies

  • smallstepper
    smallstepper Posts: 17
    I don't belong to any other forums and don't usually log on to this very often, but I have had an extremely draining day and am having a bit of an emotional collapse. My life is good, but there are times that I just get overwhelmed and feel so forlorn :brokenheart: . All of the friends that I've had for the past several years have moved to other states and I feel so alone now :cry: . I've tried to reach out to a few people in the last couple of years and develop some good friendships but I've failed to connect and I'm unsure why. It makes me feel like I'm lacking in some way that makes me an undesirable person to spend time with although I know that's not the case in actuality. I've tried to take care of myself physically and have gotten that on a good path, but it seems my emotional well-being has erratic highs and lows, although most people generally see me as a good-natured person and happy. That's because I choose to be that way, I WANT to be a happy person and enjoy life, but I long for some deep and satisfying friendships. I'm 55 years old and it doesn't seem to be so easy to get that nowadays ... in my youth, it was never a problem. I think I overanalyze things perhaps. Plus when I was younger, one of my very best friends broke my trust in a horrible way so I think I have always had trust issues and am afraid to let people into my heart :sad: . Anyone facing this type of thing, or have suggestions? Thanks so much for listening.
  • kosherham51
    kosherham51 Posts: 3
    First - you have friends - there and here.
    Second - this happens to everyone (don't know if you're married or single)
    Third - you are what you think you are and your attitude is fully under your control

    SO - chin up! I'm sure better things lie immediately ahead.

    Don't have to trust me (though I'm a pretty trustworthy guy) but believe in yourself!!!
  • Cyndi1
    Cyndi1 Posts: 484 Member
    Hey this happen to me. I punch a hard year when my friends left for other provinces. So I looked in the mirror and said you can't depressed over this-this is life. So I pulled up my socks and decided I was going to be happy about me. I used to do facials for myself, foot massages- basically pamper myself because I am worth. I do have a husband and kids but it wasn't the same without my friends. I am truely happy with me. It does take time, just work on and before you know it you will have friends that you can have coffee with or go to a movie- age doesn't have to limit you, it's only a number.

    Good luck,
  • justdoingit
    justdoingit Posts: 185 Member
    I think everyone feels the way you do at one point or another. I do think the older we get, the more baggage we tend to carry and then the more difficult it is to make new friends. I finally broke through by beginning to get involved in my community through different volunteer opportunities. It really worked! I made new friends and started making a difference in my town, which boosted my happiness levels.

    Well, wouldn't you know it that last week, depression caught up with me again and I felt so overwhelmed. I also put a post about this and got so many wonderful respones that it really made a difference!:flowerforyou:

    Keep your chin up! Focus on the positive and things are bound to get better!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • aprilvet
    aprilvet Posts: 724 Member
    Hang in there!:flowerforyou: I have gone through periods just like you're feeling. I, too, feel that I have trouble connecting with people. While I have several friends, at times I long for that special conncection, a best friend. Yes, I am married- wonderful man- and have 2 great kids. Instead of waiting for someone to call me to go do something, I initiate the contact. I've realized that if they don't want my company, they'll decline. So far, no one has declined.:smile: If you really can't get over these feelings, find someone to talk to- clergy, counselor, doctor, etc.
  • lulubar
    lulubar Posts: 739 Member
    Smallstepper ~ You are certainly not alone. Throughout life friendships come, they grow and fill our hearts - and then often times, distance can come between us just because of life. Twelve years ago I moved a thousand miles away from my dearest friends. I still miss them very much ~ BUT, we stay in close contact through email and phone calls, and at least once or twice a year we have a 3 or 4 day getaway together. I once went an entire year bringing my lunch just so I would have the money for a trip we wanted to take. My point is, just because friends move away doesn't mean the relationship has to end. Friendships take effort - just like every relationship. Reach out to those friends who've moved away - I'm sure they would LOVE to hear from you. Also, look for some volunteer opportunities close to home that would give you an opportunity to meet other women your age - things like the food bank, Habitat for Humanity, the Jr. League - large nets catch a lot of fish!!

    What you are feeling is soooooo common - we all just have to stretch outside our comfort zone a little bit to find what we need. Blessings:flowerforyou:

    lulu:heart:
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