So, why are you here again, and why will this be the last time?

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thelastnightingale
thelastnightingale Posts: 725 Member
in Motivation and Support
What the title says, really.

For me, food has the following associations:

- a treat (something to celebrate)
- a crutch (something I eat if I am unhappy or stressed)
- a barrier (if I'm fatter, people will leave me alone)
- something to do (if I'm bored, I can eat mindlessly)

I recognise all the above. Now, I'm OK with food being a treat, as everything in moderation is fine, and I'm trying to be much more aware of my body, so I only eat if I'm hungry, not if I'm bored. However, the other two are bigger things I know I need to work on to break the yo yo cycle - I can't eat my feelings anymore. These are things I know I have to tackle and I am finally being honest about that.

What about you? What brought you back here, and what are you doing to avoid staying caught in an endless loop of lose, maintain, gain?

Maybe if we write down our truths we can hold ourselves accountable and make this our last rodeo.

Your turn.
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Replies

  • thelastnightingale
    thelastnightingale Posts: 725 Member
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    Ccricfo wrote: »
    I joined again this morning because I am finally sick enough of the health problems that are caused by being this heavy and realizing that I am going to have a miserable life in old age if I don't do something.

    Deciding to take your health more seriously is a really powerful reason - welcome back, and well done on finding your motivation.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
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    There's no such thing as the Finish Line. It's the Hit the Pause Button mentality that will get you.

    I used to belong to a weight loss club but I'm not really a club member of anything. I didn't want to let the weight loss club define me. I looked at the same people sitting on the same stools ending up exactly where they started after decades of trying to reach their dream weight. I'm not going out like that.

    Diets are now a mind warp for me. I joined MFP and left all of that dieting dogma in the dust.

    I started fighting for the causes that do define me. I rail against diabetes because it seems so patently unfair in the way it really messes with lives.

    I fight for myself, my overall health and wellbeing. I will not be deterred. In the back of mind and deep down in my heart there's a passion for people. I care. I sure do.

    I love to decorate and sing as I'm tooling along. Post songs and photos. That's just the way I roll.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
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    Why did the mind allow you to eat until you reached the highest weight you've ever been. Why didn't the mind stop you, not one single time during the eating it all back excursion and say, stop and look around. Let's reassess what's going down.

    With every passing month and year that goes by the ground grows colder. Why didn't the mind stop you before it allowed rebound weight gain with friends so show right back up on your doorstep.

    So many become overconfident once all of the weight releasing is done until they realize how strong the mind and neural pathways really are. Those old grooves in the brain will fight against you. They'll actually encourage you to eat it all back while you're in the unconscious mode on remote control by autopilot.

    Why didn't your brain stop you. The brain doesn't really care if you eat it all back. Lack of direction and flying by the seat of your pants won't fix the brain. Your brain needs to implement a strategy you can live with for the rest of your life.

    It can't be a plan filled with the Shock and Awe Approach to food. All or Nothing Thinking. It doesn't last and it doesn't work. When was the last time you were at your dream weight. How long were you able to toe that line.
    The brain won't quit fighting against you until a couple of years or even 5 years after you've reached your dream weight. It requires focus and direction but not food restriction to find long term stability with your weight.
  • thelastnightingale
    thelastnightingale Posts: 725 Member
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    @Diatonic12 I know for me, watching my weight went from something important to something that didn't really matter (because I'd hit goal). The weight crept back on slowly, and because of that, I didn't take it seriously. The amounts weren't big at all each time, but I didn't keep an eye on the cumulative effect, and that's what really got me. I took my eye off the wheel through complacency. Lesson learnt.

    Eventually, my weight was so far down my priorities list I didn't even notice what was going on at all, and when things went wrong in my life, I reverted to using food as a crutch without any part of my brain registering this was a bad idea.

    Letting myself autopilot when it comes to food doesn't work for me. I need to be more aware of what I'm doing and retrain myself to pick up the phone and call a friend when I'm sad, rather than reaching for something unhealthy. Rationally, I know I'm there for my friends and they offer repeatedly to repay the favour, so I have to learn to accept more help. Don't bottle up sadness, don't lock away grief - talk it out until the compulsion to stuff my face is gone. Easier said than done, I know. But this thread is all about honesty, and admitting the things that we know we need to change, as writing them down makes us personally more accountable.

    I'm always going to need some food restriction in my life because I have no willpower over certain foods and I am physically capable of eating after I'm full and then some. (Worst special talent, ever.) Some restriction isn't bad - I mean, I have allergies, so I'm used to restricting 100% of certain foods to save my life. This is a similar principle - obesity can kill. Removing the triggers that push me towards obesity will benefit me in the long-term.

    There are plenty of things I don't need to restrict that mean I can still lead a healthy, varied diet with plenty of enjoyable meals - no doctor is going to get upset about me cutting out certain brand names when I'll still eat other brand names, for example. I just know from experience which things have a hold over me due to childhood associations.

    Sleepwalking through weight isn't an option - we have to be more alert, we have to recognise and forgive our own flaws, and we have to live our best lives. I feel like this is the first time I've really understood and believed what it means to change your mindset to change your life. It's not going to happen overnight, no matter how many accountable messages I write, but at least I now know what I'm really working towards. It's not just taking back control of the calories, it's about taking back control of how I deal with negative emotions.

    Much love to everyone who has posted so far to admit what they are working to change. I really believe admitting this is the first step to us all conquering our demons. The weight might be the most visible part of our battle but it's not always the main part.
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
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    thelastnightingale wrote: »
    @Xiaolongbao But why do you always lose, maintain and gain? Does something set you off? Do you get bored/complacent and have the weight drift back up? We don't put the weight back on for no reason - there's always a reason. I believe if we can reflect on what that truth is - it could be something big, it could be something seemingly trivial, but it's our individual truth - and find our real motivation - and it doesn't have to be noble, it could be really petty - we are setting ourselves up for success.

    Not sure I agree with you here. I think some of us just tend towards being overweight. It's like pets. I'm sure we all know that some pets you can make us much food as you want available. They'll self-regulate and stay a healthy weight. Others you have to closely monitor or they put on weight at every opportunity. I don't think there needs to be some reason for putting weight back on (other than it's my natural tendency). So it takes a lot of work to lose weight and I really have to be able to focus on it. Once I stop making it a focus my weight drifts back up until I am in a place where I have the time/energy to make it a focus.

    I guess you could define that as getting bored/complacent but I don't really think that's it.

  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
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    Domesticated pets have diseases, too. Diabetes, heart disease, cancer and others. Genetics. Boredom is a big factor for pet obesity. In the wild kingdom you don't see don't see obesity until those critters are placed in a zoo. It's not really fun or natural for an animal to be kept inside of a house without ever seeing the light of day. They do become depressed.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4636368/
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
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    It's human nature to go right back to the food protocol that gave you the greatest benefits aka weight loss. Shock and Awe/All or Nothing Approach to food, restricting certain food groups and food triggers. If it didn't last the first go around it's time to implement a strategy that will work.

    Why the hows are nice to know you also need to know the whys to find long term weight stability. Gummy bears used to be a food trigger for me but I have learned how to moderate myself with them. I can have some every single day if I want to. Depriving myself of them and restricting them didn't work in the long run.

    Doing what we've always done will get us what we've always gotten. Thinking this is going to be my last rodeo and this is my last time will only dig you into a deeper hole with food.

    Rebound weight gain with friends. Sux.

    There's only choices and consequences. To fall right back into thinking that you must restrict all the things will fall apart at some particular point. You may be able to keep up that vigilance for a couple of years or even five but at some time all of that restriction has diminishing returns.

    A recent British study of over 170,000 people found that the chances of achieving even a 5% weight loss were 1 in 7 for severely obese women and 1 in 8 for severely obese men. The chances of attaining a normal weight were 1 in 210 for obese men and 1 in 124 for obese women.

    We have to face the hard questions. There is no bandwagon. There is no last rodeo. We have a brand new meal coming around the corner every few hours. If you need a new beginning or clean slate just readjust your dials. Use your new meal to UP your game but don't restrict the things you love.

    Track your data points. MFP is subtle. It's not in your face. It doesn't police your food or thoughts. ;)
    MFP lets you do everything on your own terms. That's a good fit for me.
  • goalpeace
    goalpeace Posts: 272 Member
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    I am here again because I simply need to get rid of this excess weight that is bogging me down. I genuinely feel worse with it on my body. I've successfully done this before. Add to the statistic. I gained it all back.

    This will be my last time because I need to once and for all take responsibility for my day to day.
  • pika67
    pika67 Posts: 12 Member
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    I’m here again because I got really far last time then God and life had other plans and I lost focus. I lost my support network in the last year so this will be harder but I’m depending on the kindness - and a kick in the butt! - of strangers!

    CW-265
    Short term goal: 250 by Sept 1
    GW-145
  • sdgbta
    sdgbta Posts: 11 Member
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    I'm here because I'm not comfortable in my body at all. Have been losing and regaining the same weight over and over but have stuck with things much longer than usual this time around. I'm hopeful some of the changes are starting to stick. 🤞

    If anyone wants to be friends I'd be more than happy 🙂
  • pika67
    pika67 Posts: 12 Member
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    Sdgbta- I’d welcome a friend!

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