Eliminating certain foods

Up-front admission: I don't think of myself as having a bad relationship with food, or of emotion being a big factor in my becoming overweight, so I may be off base with advice. However, I do have foods that it's difficult or impossible for me to moderate, for some reason.

I also think you're onto something when you hint at food patterns being important to consider, and consciously modify, within a still-happy range. (By "patterns", I mean that "coffee, which needs milk/sugar, which triggers desire to eat" sort of thing.) I think there are various ways we, as individuals, can disrupt those patterns productively, once aware of them.

I can't answer whether you'll feel deprived and binge eat. That's individual, too. From reading my other posts, you probably also know that - for me, not necessarily others - I think it's OK to build some indulgent eating (what some would call overeating) into one's life, in a managed way, if that's important to happiness. Other people's orthodoxies or rules may not be important, for you. What's important IMO is figuring out what combination of behaviors best helps *you* be healthy, happy, and remain at a reasonable body weight.

I think whether you'll feel deprived and binge may not be an "all foods the same" kind of rule either (though I don't know you, that's certainly true for me). Maybe some foods can be moderated somewhat routinely, some need to be excluded entirely, others need to be eaten only in special circumstances. I've seen many people here say that's true for them, that some foods can be moderated (in various ways), some need to be eliminated. Still other things may work out by finding enjoyable substitutes, and making those habits.

I'll give you some examples, for me.

As background, in maintenance I calorie bank - eat maybe 150 calories under maintenance most days, to have an indulgent meal or day sometimes. A consequence is that the scale bounces around more wildly for me (mostly water weight) than for people with more even eating patterns, but that doesn't bother *me*. (I'm still at a healthy weight, in year 4+ of maintenance.)

One food I still haven't figured out how to moderate is old-school Taco Flavor Doritos, the orange-bag ones. The don't come in single-serve bags, and if I buy a regular bag, I may succeed in doing weighed-out servings a couple of times, but eventually I'll eat a bunch and finish the bag. I almost never buy them, then I do what I just said - moderate until indulgence, then draw on my calorie bank.

I like ice cream, don't like things like Halo Top. If I buy a quart of tasty ice cream, I'll portion it out, but go through it fairly quickly, faster than I'd like. I've figured out that - mysteriously - I can keep single-serve cups in my basement chest freezer without the same effect, and I've found a brand I like that comes in those cups. I can eat one cup, and ignore the others in the freezer much longer term than an opened quart. It's weird, but true. Once in a while, I can moderate a pint of really good, rich ice cream or gelato over a couple of weeks, but it has to be a super-indulgent feeling one. Or, I go to the local ice cream place, and have them put a scoop or two in a cup. That works.

There are other foods that I can get buy in single-serve packs that work the same way, irrational as it seems. But some things, I'm better off just buying the one single pack, not having multiple single packs in the house.

There are also foods I enjoy, that now I only have on a limited basis under unusual circumstances, like at a celebratory event, or at an unusual restaurant meal, or when traveling, or something like that.

As far as substitutes, I'm one of the people - not the only one, but it's far from universal - who found that if I made it a point to get 3+ daily servings of fruit, my cravings for less nutrient-dense sweets (cookies, cakes, candy) shrank dramatically after a while. Now, most of the grocery-store-type routine baked goods just taste too sweet and boringly simple. I still enjoy a rich dessert sometimes, but it needs to be something with a little more complexity and delight in it, than just another boring sugar cookie. YMMV.

So, I hear what you're saying about being an all-or-nothing personality, but I'd encourage you to think about whether that's across the board, or can vary by food.

With respect to patterns (coffee - sugar/milk - eat), experiment with breaking the pattern. Get up, but don't eat. Or, if necessary, get some caffeine in a form that doesn't make sugar/milk work (pill, tea, zero-calorie cola, whatever). See if you can disrupt the pattern. Try replacing it with a new pattern (say: get up, do yoga, or something like that). Repeat the new thing by force of will for a few days, then evaluate. See how it goes.

I think the CBT recommendation is a really good one. CBT includes some useful conceptual tools that can help with any of the above, or in other ways.

I don't know whether it's any reassurance, but I did find that a few years (yikes!) into maintenance, some of the draw of old patterns and cravings seem to have receded into history, for me. We'll see if that holds up for years to come, but it's true for now.

Best wishes!

I went from January to Easter without chocolate, not even a chocolate topped biscuit, but Easter was a nightmare. I ate so much of it that I realised I couldn't completely cut something out permanently. This isn't the first time I've tried this - I now realise that complete bans do not work long-term for me. It also sends unhealthy messages too - I felt I 'deserved' chocolate having gone so long without it, but then felt so guilty for indulging. This isn't the relationship I want with food. So no foods are off limits now.

Currently I am working on the idea of 'little and often', so I never feel like I'm going without. Generally, reducing sugar in my diet has been important, I dont' crave it like I used to, so a little bit of chocolate, is much more satisfying than it was before and doesn't feed the addiction as much. It's a work in progress though.

Not for everyone I know, yoga and meditation has helped me reduce my stress levels, which has helped!