Losing motivation for absolutely no reason?

So I was having a nice January and February when I thought "hmm what if I go to the gym." Then I had a great March and April, going running, losing weight, happier with my body and then along came the POS called "June" when I hit a stall. And I've BEEN in a stall since June 2, or even gained like 1-2 pounds back. By July 2, after a month of eating 1200 calories/day and trying to do at least a 100 calorie workout every day (according to my apple watch) I was STILL 121. So I said "*kitten* my life" and started upping my calories because apparently, that could speed up your metabolism again and have been eating 1500 for the past week. And I'd been feeling kinda lightheaded when I stood up consistently, which I decided was not a good thing. (The internet says "maintenance" is anywhere between 1596 and 2000. I was very confused as to why.) I was 121 on June 2; today, about an hour after breakfast I was 123.4. I also drank about a pound of water and had a ~250cal breakfast, so, in fairness, that's probably where some of it came from, and my measuring was not entirely accurate.

Buuuuut the problem is... I have absolutely no motivation to exercise anymore. It wasn't working before, it's hot outside, and now I have a job where I work 8 hours a day 5 days a week while dealing with customers.

Where did my motivation go?? Like why can't I force myself to exercise again? I don't want to be the laughingstock in college if I can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded. I haven't gone running in a month (mainly because my shifts usually start between 10 AM and 12 PM, so my whole day is kinda gone). I barely do cardio in my house anymore.

I read the "The Myth of Motivation" thread and it wasn't very helpful. Yeah, motivation might be a myth and you might need a disciplined mind. Too bad it doesn't tell me how to fix my brain. I also read "The Importance of Willpower for Weight Loss" and I feel that I did it gradually. I went to the gym whenever in January, went more when I could in February and early March. Mid-March through May 1 was SERIOUS time when I actually wanted to just be fit since I tried out for a sport with the video due May 1. I didn't make it so I decided to move from fitness --> weight loss and lost weight throughout May and then... hello, you POS month named June.

I'm terrified of regaining the weight it took me months to lose. I don't want to go back to my old body. I'd rather have this one (but preferably, I'd be skinny). For some reason I can't control myself around food at times. Like if a friend offers me the remainder of her french fries, I'll eat them. Or if I'm having a peanut butter/rice cake snack, I'll eat a little extra peanut butter. I don't consistently log these mini-binges in MFP since every time I see a negative number, I'll cry and feel guilty. Even after these mini-binges, I'll feel really guilty for doing it. Like I know it's bad for me. I know I'm going to gain weight back. But I do it anyways.

Help?