I don't want to lose hair again

milkameisje · July 2020

Hello MFP. As of today, I am 19 years old, 5'9", 253 pounds, and a chronic crash dieter.

I have had multiple accounts on this app over the years. I have an awful history of eating disorders and lost significant amounts of weight in unhealthy ways, only to of course regain. I experienced hair loss, fainting, and other awful side effects.

For the past couple of years I have basically ignored my weight because I feared for my sanity if I continued to crash and gain. However in the past 8 months or so, because of a major depressive episode from not being able to see my LDR boyfriend due to travel restrictions, I have gained 50 pounds. I am the heaviest I have ever been and I want to return to my former state because I couldn't bear to let him see me like this when we are finally together again.

I want this to be the last time I start, and to do it in a healthy manner this time. I am willing to use MFP indefinitely if it means I don't have to look in the mirror and see this misshapen version of myself ever again.

I set my goal to lose 2 pounds a week, however I am aware that this slows significantly as you lose. My calories are set to 1500. I want to know if this is healthy for someone of my size. I have been eating 1500 and feel fine; I just need discipline to not overeat. Please let me know any advice you have for me. I will answer any questions to the best of my ability. Thank you.

Hanibanani2020 · July 2020

Since your motivation is one based on fear of being judged rather than your overall health and you have a history of eating disorders I think you need to speak to a doctor and get referrals to a dietician and a therapist to help you on your way so you stay healthy both in mind and body. Best of luck in your journey. I wish you the absolute best.

milkameisje · July 2020

Hanibanani2020 wrote: »

Since your motivation is one based on fear of being judged rather than your overall health and you have a history of eating disorders I think you need to speak to a doctor and get referrals to a dietician and a therapist to help you on your way so you stay healthy both in mind and body. Best of luck in your journey. I wish you the absolute best.

Thank you for the reply. I have to say though that therapy is way out of the question as that's a pretty hot-button topic that I'd rather not get into. However I really doubt whatever insurance I have would pay for a dietician and at 19 I really don't have the funds to pay for that myself. I really wouldn't be comfortable talking to a dietician either if I'm honest. I'm simply curious as to whether 1500 is a "safe" amount for me. Again, thank you for responding.

lynn_glenmont · July 2020

1500 calories seems pretty low for someone who is 5'9". How active are you? What do you all day? (e.g., sit most of the day, stand and walk frequently, carry things from one place to another? are you a student/worker sitting in front of a computer all day, someone stocking shelves in retail, someone making deliveries, someone with a job that has you outside moving a lot, using tools, etc.?) If you were a step counter or have a step counter device, how many steps a day on average?

Redordeadhead · July 2020

lynn_glenmont wrote: »

1500 calories seems pretty low for someone who is 5'9". How active are you? What do you all day? (e.g., sit most of the day, stand and walk frequently, carry things from one place to another? are you a student/worker sitting in front of a computer all day, someone stocking shelves in retail, someone making deliveries, someone with a job that has you outside moving a lot, using tools, etc.?) If you were a step counter or have a step counter device, how many steps a day on average?

I agree with this. Also, please bear in mind that your MFP calorie target excludes exercise, so any exercise you do should be logged and at least some of those extra calories earned should be consumed as well.

milkameisje · July 2020

lynn_glenmont wrote: »

1500 calories seems pretty low for someone who is 5'9". How active are you? What do you all day? (e.g., sit most of the day, stand and walk frequently, carry things from one place to another? are you a student/worker sitting in front of a computer all day, someone stocking shelves in retail, someone making deliveries, someone with a job that has you outside moving a lot, using tools, etc.?) If you were a step counter or have a step counter device, how many steps a day on average?

Like a lot of people these days I'm unemployed due to the pandemic. I spend most of my time sitting and put that in my MFP settings as well. Does that change anything?

milkameisje · July 2020

Redordeadhead wrote: »

I agree with this. Also, please bear in mind that your MFP calorie target excludes exercise, so any exercise you do should be logged and at least some of those extra calories earned should be consumed as well.

I spend most of my time sitting, aside from going on walks sometimes. I don't really see that as worth logging or accounting for.

lynn_glenmont · July 2020

milkameisje wrote: »

lynn_glenmont wrote: »

1500 calories seems pretty low for someone who is 5'9". How active are you? What do you all day? (e.g., sit most of the day, stand and walk frequently, carry things from one place to another? are you a student/worker sitting in front of a computer all day, someone stocking shelves in retail, someone making deliveries, someone with a job that has you outside moving a lot, using tools, etc.?) If you were a step counter or have a step counter device, how many steps a day on average?

Like a lot of people these days I'm unemployed due to the pandemic. I spend most of my time sitting and put that in my MFP settings as well. Does that change anything?

I would say that 1500 is about the least anybody of your height and weight with good health, no negative diet-related history, and a generally sedentary lifestyle should consume in a day.

That said, given your history of fainting, hair loss, and "other awful side effects," I would not recommend you eat the least that might be advisable for a generally healthy person of your height and weight with no counterindications, such as a history of eating disorders and serious side effects from undereating.

It would seem much wiser to me to set your goal for 1/2 to 1 lb loss per week (roughly 2000 to 2250 calories per day), and eat more if you exercise. Do that for a month or so, and if you don't see any negative reactions, carve off 100 to 200 more calories per day for another month and see how it goes.

I'm sure that sounds painfully slow, but you are not just any 253-pound person trying to lose weight. You're you, a person with a history of negative outcomes from trying to lose weight too quickly.

Geneveremfp · July 2020

milkameisje wrote: »

lynn_glenmont wrote: »

1500 calories seems pretty low for someone who is 5'9". How active are you? What do you all day? (e.g., sit most of the day, stand and walk frequently, carry things from one place to another? are you a student/worker sitting in front of a computer all day, someone stocking shelves in retail, someone making deliveries, someone with a job that has you outside moving a lot, using tools, etc.?) If you were a step counter or have a step counter device, how many steps a day on average?

Like a lot of people these days I'm unemployed due to the pandemic. I spend most of my time sitting and put that in my MFP settings as well. Does that change anything?

The biggest thing then is to add any exercise and to eat your exercise calories back.

I think 1500 should be fine - although I'm not a dietician - but I was losing on around that + exercise calories until I deliberately slowed my weight loss. In terms of not wanting to crash out again I would really try to get a good balance in your food. Make sure you're eating healthy fats and protein but also let yourself have treats. You can easily plan small treats in daily on 1500. The all or nothing is where its easy to fall down.

PAV8888 · July 2020

-1000 Cal, 2lbs a week may be appropriate at the early weight loss stage for a person of your stats ABSENT previous history.

Anything above 15% of TDEE (and tdee should include a separate count any and all exercise or activity beyond the home bound ambulatory self care level of steps already included in the sedentary setting) as a deficit is aggressive. And with your history anything aggressive is severely counter indicated.

You're realistically looking at 1lb a week or less and even this continuously applied could trigger re occurrence of ED

You may see things differently because you're 19, but the order of significance goes:

--avoid ED at all costs

---avoid remaining morbidly obese for multiple years but avoiding ED is even more important

---avoid rapidly regaining lost weight (yo yo)

Slow loss over multiple years has helped many of us avoid rapid yo yos.

Continuing to try to lose like you have in the past will (more than likely) get your the same end results you obtained in the past.

So it *is* time to change the narrative if you want to achieve change instead of a similar rapid loss and regain experience

---Accommodate boyfriend(s) sensibility

You may note that your proximate motivating factor (boyfriend) almost didn't make the list. That's because everything you've said indicates that your size and weight loss methods are not an aesthetic issue; but rather a full blown health issue that you will have to deal with long term

Best advice so far is to enlist professional help.

Second advice is to maybe find more affordable alternative to fulfill the functions your insurance doesn't cover.

Your resistance to talking to a professional does not inspire that the resistance comes from a good and healthy place.

Third best advice was to aim for less then a lb a week to start.

I would further narrow that 250 to 500 Cal to a number that is no more than 10 to 15% of your TDEE as a deficit.

The two figures substantially overlap in the 2000 to 3333 Cal TDEE range

joanna_82 · July 2020

I also have a long history of eating issues and while I don’t have a lot of weight to lose, I knew that the healthiest way to do this was to focus on good nutrition and a very slow pace of weight loss. This way, I don’t feel deprived, I don’t risk being so hungry that I turn to bingeing and I ensure that I meet all my nutritional needs.

I have my weight loss set at the slowest rate 0.5lb per week and it is working well for me so this might suit you better and give you more calories.

I would suggest referral to therapy though. I only got myself in a place where I was ready to actively lose weight after therapy to address the issues behind my disordered relationship with food.

Remember that changes you make should be for the long term and not the short term. Slow and steady wins the race.

hipari · July 2020

1500 sounds low. I'm 5'8, 212 lbs, and maintain at about 2500 calories per day. Your description sounds like you're less active, leading to lower maintenance calories, but I still recommend upping your calories.

You say you are willing to commit to MFP indefinitely if needed. I suggest you up your calories to at least 1800, possibly 2000, stick to it for at least a couple of weeks, and see what happens. I think in your situation I think learning how to maintain current weight without yo-yoing or disordered eating is priority number one to stabilize the situation. Eating at or close to maintenance level would be a great start in that.

I understand you said therapy is out of question. I agree with the suggestion to check if your insurance covers a dietician. Another option is to reach out to support specializing in eating disorders, they probably have more knowledge on best weight loss guidance for people with a history of ED. I don't know where you're located or if you have experience with some of these organizations, but at least this one offers a free chat or phone service https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline

lorrpb · July 2020

No 1500 is not safe for you. The reasons have been well explained and you listed them in your OP. Start at 2000. That is a safe number and will allow you to lose weight with less risk of the issues you had in the past. When you get below 200 you can look at reducing that by 100-200 calories.

Strudders67 · July 2020

In the absence of being able to get professional help, I'd reduce the rate of loss goal to 1lb or 1.5lb a week, to give yourself a few more cals a day and not be too hard on yourself. You'll still have scale fluctuations, as everyone does but, over a period of a month, your rate of loss shouldn't slow significantly and you should see fairly consistent results if you compare your weight now to what is it in a month's time and then compare that to your weight in another month's time.

For your height and weight, 2lb a week is too aggressive.

Focus on sticking to the calories given. Try to focus on eating things that make you feel fuller without adding cals. For some people that's more protein and for others it's fat or carbs. The macro percentages that MFP set as the default are usually good enough for most people, so that'll give you an idea as to what to aim for.

ALZ14 · July 2020

I would slow down your weekly goal to 1 pound a week and then be more deliberate with getting out and walking. I started at 196 at 5 ft 3 and I’ve lost 11.5 pounds in 5 weeks doing nothing but walking and counting calories with my goal set to lose 2 pound a week.

With your history I absolutely think “slow and steady” is what you need. Focusing on super fast results is how you get yourself into trouble.

I try to remind myself that I didn’t gain the weight overnight and I’m not going to lose it overnight.

Good luck!

psychod787 · July 2020

I would suggest you track what you are eating as accurately as possible. See if you are weight stable. Then subtract your deficit.

Terytha · July 2020

If a therapist is a no-go, and I absolutely understand how that can be, maybe look into cognitive behavioral therapy. There are some free resources online and books you can get.

The thing about mental disorders is that while a doctor is preferable, drugs are optional, which means it is possible somewhat to help yourself, or at least lay the groundwork.

But you're gonna have to do SOME work on your mental health again. Ignoring it will just leave you in the same boat.

Diatonic12 · July 2020

You can only do what your budget will afford but doing what we've always done will get us what we've always gotten. Speaking only in general here, there is that tendency to go right back to the method that affords one the greatest amount of weight loss in the shortest amount of time. You're young so it's time to Flip the Switch and stop all of those things that will result in rebound weight gain with friends. If we don't get down to the roots of the real problems they only come back to haunt us and those can last for an entire lifetime.

At the very least you need a medical checkup to see where you stand with your blood sugar levels because T2 diabetes can strike at any time or any age. Insulin Resistance only adds to the equation and the longer it goes the more difficult it will be on down the line. There's leptin, ghrelin blowback and a myriad of other things that go along with a lifetime of constant dieting and wild swings UP and down with weight. You don't want that.

All movement counts. Don't wait until you've lost x number of pounds to start moving. Whatever activity you choose and enjoy, you will have to continue doing for the rest of your life. Walk out your front door and keep going until you can't go anymore and return home. Start today and keep moving. It will keep your mind busy during these difficult times.

Sit down with someone. Face-to-face. There are resources that don't cost a dime. A 1500 calorie diet and constant starts and stops, starting over and over again won't fix any of things. Dig deep now and you'll be so much further ahead. There's no such thing as the Finish Line. We have to take care of our overall health and well being every single day for the rest of our lives.

mkculs13 · July 2020

Hi. You've gotten some really good advice about calories. Have you considered some exercise during the pandemic? I'd really encourage you to start--and start SMALL, b/c you don't want to hurt yourself and have to start over again a month later. Look for threads on MFP about how to start exercising.

The bottom line is that for both health (physical and mental) and fitness, you need to change habits slowly. You'd be better off talking with your boyfriend about this than trying to hide it, honestly--just letting him know you have gained weight and are working to take it off. If he really cares about you, he won't have a negative reaction; he'll be supportive. And if you cannot talk to him about it, you might be setting yourself up for failure. You'll be too worried about his reaction to take the time you need to do this right for once.

Please think this through and commit to being healthy in all ways. Looking forward to hearing you are making positive changes.

milkameisje · July 2020

I changed my goal to 1 lb of loss a week and my calories are now about 2000. Do you all think this will prevent fainting/hair loss?

1BlueAurora · July 2020

@milkameisje I'm glad to see you've changed your goals to eating 2000 calories a day. It seems like a good approach. Be sure to drink lots of water - dehydration can lead to fainting (at least it has for my husband, and my father, at various times). I have mine with ice and fresh lemon slices. With regards to hair loss, I was losing my hair because I was eating just 1200 calories a day for four months. So, keep track at 2000 for a month and see how you feel and whether your drain is full of hair. My guess is that losing more slowly will make it less likely to faint and lose hair.

lynn_glenmont · July 2020

milkameisje wrote: »

I changed my goal to 1 lb of loss a week and my calories are now about 2000. Do you all think this will prevent fainting/hair loss?

It seems like a good place to start. None of us can make you any guarantees. Try to keep a close eye on things like unusual fatigue and trouble sleeping, which can be early warnings that your body isn't handling your calorie deficit well. If those turn up, you might consider increasing your calories by 100 a day or taking a week or two "diet break" and eat at maintenance (roughly 2500 in your case, plus exercise calories).

Also, if tracking your weight on a scale isn't triggering for you, you could look out for weight loss that exceeds a pound per week (averaged over a month or so), and again add a couple hundred calories a day if it is. If weighing yourself is triggering for you, is there someone in your household (or a friend willing to visit briefly if you're both masked) who could keep a record of your weight without your looking at the scale's display, and just tell you if you're losing too fast, without telling your the exact numbers?

kshama2001 · July 2020

milkameisje wrote: »

I changed my goal to 1 lb of loss a week and my calories are now about 2000. Do you all think this will prevent fainting/hair loss?

It should prevent fainting/hair loss caused by undereating, yes.

I used to have fainting caused by low blood pressure which went away when I increased my BP by eating more salt, and hair loss from anemia which I fixed with the help of regular blood work and iron supplementation under a doctor's supervision.

milkameisje wrote: »

Hanibanani2020 wrote: »

Since your motivation is one based on fear of being judged rather than your overall health and you have a history of eating disorders I think you need to speak to a doctor and get referrals to a dietician and a therapist to help you on your way so you stay healthy both in mind and body. Best of luck in your journey. I wish you the absolute best.

Thank you for the reply. I have to say though that therapy is way out of the question as that's a pretty hot-button topic that I'd rather not get into. However I really doubt whatever insurance I have would pay for a dietician and at 19 I really don't have the funds to pay for that myself. I really wouldn't be comfortable talking to a dietician either if I'm honest. I'm simply curious as to whether 1500 is a "safe" amount for me. Again, thank you for responding.

I've resisted consulting a dietitian for years and am glad I finally did. Instead of guessing, why don't you discuss getting a referral from your primary and then finding out how much it will cost? You should be able to do all this over the phone these days, which may make it a lot easier for you

I'd also been doing CBT with a behavioral health intern who is leaving the program and to decide what service I should have next we did a mental health intake. My CBT person saw my answers and complimented me on my openness, but I've been asked intrusive mental health questions by strangers for decades and at this point I'm not triggered by it.

Having unresolved issues is hard; fixing them is hard. You have to pick your hard.

karahm78 · July 2020

You might also want to consider using a weight trending app like Happy Scale (iPhone) or Libra (Android). It helps by smoothing out weight fluctuations and focuses on the trend. Just basing this on things you say, maybe that would help.

Diatonic12 · July 2020

Great decision.

milkameisje · August 2020

Update: I have lost a touch over 10 pounds in the month I have been on MFP. I have been eating 1950 on days I don't exercise and 2150 on days I go running. Thank you all for steering me in the right direction.

PAV8888 · August 2020

Glad to hear you updating! Just (yet another) note of caution. You now have ALMOST a month of results. While it is still a little bit early to have complete and total confidence in the results... one thing you can tell from the equation "just over 10lbs in just a touch under one month) is that you're operating with an **AT LEAST** 1,000 Cal deficit on average, probably.

This is a pretty hefty deficit... as I've already mentioned, perhaps suitable for a person of your stats at the very beginning... if the person with your stats didn't quite have your history.

So take it easy... hey! You're doing good... but if anything you have room to eat a touch more and lose a touch slower than you're currently doing. Remember that so far in life you've crash dieted again and again... and it hasn't proven to be a wining combination so far for you!

Jleigh225 · August 2020

1-2 lbs of weight lost a week won’t cause hair loss BUT you have to find that deficit for you. MFP gives estimates but it’s not perfect so 1500 could be way faster than you need. Any faster than 1-2 lbs a week and you’re likely to have a body freak out. I’ve done the science on it.

AshHeartsJesus · August 2020

I am 4'10 and mine is set at 1500 so it seems odd to me that yours would be set that low. I would work on making healthy choices food wise and slowly intergrating low impact exercise. If you go to fast it will ended very badly for your health. What is your diet like now?

KrissDotCom · August 2020

milkameisje wrote: »

Hanibanani2020 wrote: »

Since your motivation is one based on fear of being judged rather than your overall health and you have a history of eating disorders I think you need to speak to a doctor and get referrals to a dietician and a therapist to help you on your way so you stay healthy both in mind and body. Best of luck in your journey. I wish you the absolute best.

Thank you for the reply. I have to say though that therapy is way out of the question as that's a pretty hot-button topic that I'd rather not get into. However I really doubt whatever insurance I have would pay for a dietician and at 19 I really don't have the funds to pay for that myself. I really wouldn't be comfortable talking to a dietician either if I'm honest. I'm simply curious as to whether 1500 is a "safe" amount for me. Again, thank you for responding.

To be honest, it wouldn't matter what amount of calories is safe, eating disorders are a problem and unless you get help with managing it, you could eat 2000 calories and you can still have problems.

joyanna2016 · September 2020

The macro that's most important in reference to hair loss is protein. You may want to make your daily protein goal a little higher than MFP recommends to further protect yourself against hair loss.

I don't want to lose hair again

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