Angry with myself

I like the comment about keeping your head in the game. What would you say to your best friend if they were in your situation? Assuming you are a nice person (I'm sure you are😊) it would be something kind and encouraging. So be kind and encouraging to yourself. If you read through comments sections you'll see you are far from alone.

Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s great that you recognized this and are getting back on track again.

Welcome back. There aren't very many of us who haven't had episodes of returning to old habits. You've recognized what's happening and are ready to get back on track and that's not an insignificant thing.

Don't waste time being angry with yourself. Use this time to work on figuring out why it happened. Maybe you came up with an eating pattern while losing that was too dramatic. It's very hard to change our ingrained habits that result in weighing too much. You went back to old habits for some reason. Most of us can do that at the drop of a hat. Working to change our habitual way of eating is hard work. You worked at it once, you can do it again.

I've been where you are for many years and have belonged to MFP since 2013. Most of the time, I've been an absent member. It's okay if you come and go as far as we all are concerned, the only one for whom this is truly important is you. So work on you as a positive project that has many ups and downs.

Oftentimes, anger is counter productive. It prevents us from doing things that are good for us just to be ornery. "I'll show you, world that wants me to eat less! I'll eat this whole chocolate cake and that'll show you!" Of course, the world doesn't care and all we've done is shoot ourselves in the foot. Forgive yourself for this. It's who you've been (past tense). It doesn't have to be who you will be. It's up to you.

I'm still working on me at a few months shy of 70 y.o. I know I'm more grounded now than I was a year ago. Being mad at myself for my continued shortcomings doesn't help me or the people around me. I just am continuing to work at being a better version of me.

Try that. And come back to logging on MFP even if you just start logging without trying to change how much you eat. Then slowly work on losing that extra 150 lbs. with the rest of us.

I understand completely. In 2016-2017 I lost 90 lbs in about 2 years going from 245 to 155. I looked great and felt great and swore I would not gain it back. Well here I am 2.5 years later when I recommitted to mfp at 233 lbs. so I gained back 80 lbs. However beating myself up is not going to help. The thing is I know I can lose the weight, I did it before, so I am not so worried about that. I know others might have a different perspective, but for me the WL isn't so hard it was keeping it off that was hard. So I realize I need a better plan for maintenance, there were "reasons" I gained so much back (knee problems that made it impossible to jog so exercise just got less efficient, my father having 3 strokes and becoming disabled which led to depression and a lot of time spent with him in a rehab facility, half moving to a larger city about 1.5 hours away so that son could go to a school that was better for him...), but in the 2 years it took to lose the 90 lbs I also had very stressful things I had to deal with, so there is just something different in my mindset for maintenance mode than WL mode.

Some things that worked for me for my 90lb weight loss:
1) Reward yourself for sticking to it rather than for weight loss. Weight loss is a reward unto itself, you are going to need a reward for sticking with the plan even when you are on a 3 week plateau.
2) Do what works for you. There will always be people telling you, you are doing it wrong.
3) I pre-log, although I am flexible and change things during the day.
4) A loss is a loss and it isn't a race.
5) MFP overestimates the calories burned when exercising by a huge amount. Doesn't matter if you don't eat your exercise calories, but be very careful if you do.
6) I try to overestimate my food intake and underestimate my exercise, just because I think our impulses are do do the opposite.
8) IF YOU FALL OFF THE WAGON, GET RIGHT BACK ON...and then don't worry about it, don't beat yourself up. As long as you only do this occasionally it might delay you reaching your weight loss goal by a few days or weeks or even months, but who are you racing exactly?
9) Avoid temptation. "Willpower is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets" is b****kitten*. So many studies have shown that the more often you have to resist temptation in a day the more likely you are to give in to temptation later. Its best just not to have junk food in your house, if it is in your house make sure it is out of sight.

Take it for what it is worth since I gained 80 lbs back. But these are the things I am trying to live by right now. It's worked for 24 days or so and I hope it will get me through the couple years of losing the weight again. Right now my NS goal is to stick with mfp, meet my calorie goal, exercised most days for 60 days and then I get a reward no matter what my weight is.

Welcome back!

You are not alone - almost all of us have been there. I remember crying on my bed after I had gained back the 40 pounds I had lost to get to goal (and maintained for years) saying "I was living the dream and I ruined it" and my poor dog looking at me like I'm crazy. Dramatics aside, I completely understand the urge to beat yourself up. However, I hope you can put that aside to move forward. It's OK to feel mad at yourself, but it's a useless emotion moving forward. Time to get back into the habits that will make you successful. I'm back at goal and maintaining and I have no doubt you will be too. You can't turn back time, you can only move forward. You can do this - come here often. I know I do!