Why do I enjoy the sick feeling after I binge???

Brenda_1965
Brenda_1965 Posts: 314 Member
edited September 19 in Success Stories
When I was young, I remember my family members getting up after a good meal, and complaining about how sick they felt. I thought it was so stupid, and I wondered why a person would take something so wonderful and make it cause pain for themselves?I'm down 18 lbs but have gotten stuck there. I don't know if it is psychological, but whenever I lose weight, I get 20 pounds off and then it seems to stop and then I lose patience, start bingeing again and regain about 5-10.

The last three days I have been bingeing at 3 am on chocolate (Dove chocolate almond bars- heart healthy 90 calories each. Since starting mfp my binges aren't as bad (used to be a half bag of Oreos), but Sunday night I ate 5-7 almond bars and couldn't quit until I felt that 'high' or sickish feeling in my stomach. Then in the morning I woke up with that "I'll never eat sweets again" feeling. I ate a late breakfast and managed to compensate for it on Monday.

Last night, I woke up again at 3, headed for the pantry and grabbed 2 - fully intending to return for 2-4 more= but decided to only take 2 at a time. I went to the computer and tried to eat them slowly while I searched mfp for an answer about how to stop myself. I read awhile and the urge went away. This morning I woke up with the SAME sick feeling and I only took 180 calories (or 2 bars). Why do I like this feeling? What has happened to make me enjoy this? What is it?

Now, here I am liking that feeling.... Does anyone know the psychology or physiology of it? Maybe if I can answer these questions, it will help me quit..... :sick:

Brenda
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Replies

  • Brenda_1965
    Brenda_1965 Posts: 314 Member
    When I was young, I remember my family members getting up after a good meal, and complaining about how sick they felt. I thought it was so stupid, and I wondered why a person would take something so wonderful and make it cause pain for themselves?I'm down 18 lbs but have gotten stuck there. I don't know if it is psychological, but whenever I lose weight, I get 20 pounds off and then it seems to stop and then I lose patience, start bingeing again and regain about 5-10.

    The last three days I have been bingeing at 3 am on chocolate (Dove chocolate almond bars- heart healthy 90 calories each. Since starting mfp my binges aren't as bad (used to be a half bag of Oreos), but Sunday night I ate 5-7 almond bars and couldn't quit until I felt that 'high' or sickish feeling in my stomach. Then in the morning I woke up with that "I'll never eat sweets again" feeling. I ate a late breakfast and managed to compensate for it on Monday.

    Last night, I woke up again at 3, headed for the pantry and grabbed 2 - fully intending to return for 2-4 more= but decided to only take 2 at a time. I went to the computer and tried to eat them slowly while I searched mfp for an answer about how to stop myself. I read awhile and the urge went away. This morning I woke up with the SAME sick feeling and I only took 180 calories (or 2 bars). Why do I like this feeling? What has happened to make me enjoy this? What is it?

    Now, here I am liking that feeling.... Does anyone know the psychology or physiology of it? Maybe if I can answer these questions, it will help me quit..... :sick:

    Brenda
  • Losing_It
    Losing_It Posts: 3,271 Member
    Well, maybe it reminds you somehow of being with your family when you were younger...when they would complain after eating too much food? :flowerforyou: Maybe it's your way to feel close to them again?
  • Brenda_1965
    Brenda_1965 Posts: 314 Member
    I think it might have to do with having an addictive personality? I don't drink anymore, but I do remember the, "I will never drink again hangovers". It seems that maybe it's related to that. LosingIt, do you enjoy the sick feeling you get when you binge?
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    When I was young, I remember my family members getting up after a good meal, and complaining about how sick they felt. I thought it was so stupid, and I wondered why a person would take something so wonderful and make it cause pain for themselves?I'm down 18 lbs but have gotten stuck there. I don't know if it is psychological, but whenever I lose weight, I get 20 pounds off and then it seems to stop and then I lose patience, start bingeing again and regain about 5-10.

    The last three days I have been bingeing at 3 am on chocolate (Dove chocolate almond bars- heart healthy 90 calories each. Since starting mfp my binges aren't as bad (used to be a half bag of Oreos), but Sunday night I ate 5-7 almond bars and couldn't quit until I felt that 'high' or sickish feeling in my stomach. Then in the morning I woke up with that "I'll never eat sweets again" feeling. I ate a late breakfast and managed to compensate for it on Monday.

    Last night, I woke up again at 3, headed for the pantry and grabbed 2 - fully intending to return for 2-4 more= but decided to only take 2 at a time. I went to the computer and tried to eat them slowly while I searched mfp for an answer about how to stop myself. I read awhile and the urge went away. This morning I woke up with the SAME sick feeling and I only took 180 calories (or 2 bars). Why do I like this feeling? What has happened to make me enjoy this? What is it?

    Now, here I am liking that feeling.... Does anyone know the psychology or physiology of it? Maybe if I can answer these questions, it will help me quit..... :sick:

    Brenda
    Brain chemicals are released no different than a person who uses or consumes alcohol... It's one of the reasons bulimics find it so difficult to stop binging or anorexics have difficulty eating, there's a type of high in it, chemically and psychologicically...one gets a high from it, then with the purging your brain also sends signals and again a brain chemical is then released that also gives a high. Does purging make a person feel great...not really but there is a strong power force to continue it because we do something and gain something from it so to speak.

    I don't mean when someone has one drink, I'm talking about when a person goes overboard and has an alcohol issue, food issue, drug issue.... they release very similar chemicals which cause a high in our bodies so the pattern continues.

    I'm sorry I don't have the technical terms in front of me...but our brain has circuits and if we continue to put the same groves in those same circuits the pattern is strongly embedded and that's what makes it so difficult to change our patterns. That's why we sometimes get so confused/upset when we change our behaviour and have such a difficult time even though we feel we're doing everything correctly. It's not simply a bad habit but the release of chemicals that we react to.

    FC
    sorry on all the typo's lots on my mind today:cry:
  • Losing_It
    Losing_It Posts: 3,271 Member
    I've never really thought about THAT part of it before, but I guess I do before all the guilt sets in. I've been doing reallllly well lately with the binges. Binges are strange...maybe we can never fully understand them..I've tried. My last binge was over a month ago....and a 100 calorie bag of popcorn triggered it...so I went back and looked in my food log and for some weird *kitten* reason, the days I binged, I've had popcorn 3 out 4 of them. So what's the deal with popcorn for me? I have no clue..but I'm staying away from Orville!!!!:grumble:

    Maybe someone else has better advice than I do.:flowerforyou:
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    exerciseisfree

    I didn't see your 2nd post until after I posted...:flowerforyou:
  • heather0mc
    heather0mc Posts: 4,656 Member
    sorry on all the typo's lots on my mind today:cry:

    hope your day gets better FC! :flowerforyou: :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    I've never really thought about THAT part of it before, but I guess I do before all the guilt sets in. I've been doing reallllly well lately with the binges. Binges are strange...maybe we can never fully understand them..I've tried. My last binge was over a month ago....and a 100 calorie bag of popcorn triggered it...so I went back and looked in my food log and for some weird *kitten* reason, the days I binged, I've had popcorn 3 out 4 of them. So what's the deal with popcorn for me? I have no clue..but I'm staying away from Orville!!!!:grumble:

    Maybe someone else has better advice than I do.:flowerforyou:
    popcorn by itself is a simple carb which means it turns into sugar as soon as it hits our blood stream... which in turn gets those carb cravings going full blast. If you mix in a bit of protein with your popcorn snack that will help slowdown the process... that's why doing carb/protein meals works so well. The fat in the protein helps us feel satisfied and the protein takes longer to digest and DOESN'T turn directly into sugar..

    I found I had the very same issue with the popcorn until the other night I added some raisins and sliced almonds with it and it turned out to be a great trail mix sort of treat. No cravings then even later ..:drinker:

    FC
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    sorry on all the typo's lots on my mind today:cry:

    hope your day gets better FC! :flowerforyou: :heart: :flowerforyou:
    thanks Healther.. that's very sweet of you:flowerforyou: :cry:
  • Losing_It
    Losing_It Posts: 3,271 Member
    Thanks, FC. I never thought about the simple carb part of it! I'm still not "brave: enough to tackle Orville again. It's easier for me to just say good-bye to him!:laugh:
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    I've never really thought about THAT part of it before, but I guess I do before all the guilt sets in. I've been doing reallllly well lately with the binges. Binges are strange...maybe we can never fully understand them..I've tried. My last binge was over a month ago....and a 100 calorie bag of popcorn triggered it...so I went back and looked in my food log and for some weird *kitten* reason, the days I binged, I've had popcorn 3 out 4 of them. So what's the deal with popcorn for me? I have no clue..but I'm staying away from Orville!!!!:grumble:

    Maybe someone else has better advice than I do.:flowerforyou:

    popcorn..or just corn can do that...the corn has alot of sugar....the 100 cal snack bags are giving the wrong impression to a lot of people,,,,,the quality of the cals is more important than the number..
    with corn...the body is given a green light and wants more sugar after the taste of it...it is vicious cycle and the body will tell the brain to GIVE ME MORE...and for a person who can binge...a binge will be the result...some can eat one bag of the stuff but for alot of people the trigger gets set off and it becomes a huge battle with the body usually convincing the brain that one more wont hurt...the good thing is to recognize your triggers and avoid them....whomever came up with the 100 cal snack idea is getting rich and we are getting or staying fat.
  • czarina127
    czarina127 Posts: 23 Member
    Fitness_chick is right! and in heavier people it takes more food to get that high. When you start it is harder to stop. I would suggest before you go to the freezer go to mfp 1st, and read try to let the feeling pass. Then if you still are hungry have a planned midnight snack. Like Losing_ it plans to stay away from pop corn prehaps the dove bars are a trigger food for you. Keep in the fight...
  • heather0mc
    heather0mc Posts: 4,656 Member
    Thanks, FC. I never thought about the simple carb part of it! I'm still not "brave: enough to tackle Orville again. It's easier for me to just say good-bye to him!:laugh:

    i am giving up my keebler fudge stripes. :cry:
    i would portion them out and eat a serving if i was under my calories as a treat. but i started noticing i was making excuses to go over my calories (between 50-100) just to have them, then i had a few beverages this weekend and when i got home i ate ALL of them! YIKES FUDGE STRIPES! :noway:
    so not going to let myself even be tempted by them anymore, even though they were fun while they lasted. i'll move on to something more healthy yet still satisfying - after i punish myself with nothing for about a week. yea, i know, not the best idea. but hey! i am teaching myself a lesson here! :drinker:
  • fnstqlty
    fnstqlty Posts: 11
    I was obsessed with Mr. Goodbars! I had to have atleast one a day. The week before Christmas, my boyfriend and I made the choice to cut out our weaknesses. No chocolate for me and no fast food for him! It worked... it was a lot easier to overcome these obsesssions together.

    How did I stop eating chocolate? I stopped buying it! If it is not in the house, I can't eat it. I highly doubt you will take a drive at 3AM to grab Dove bars.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    Hi

    I wish I had an answer
    I've been a binger since I went on my first diet in HS
    I can't stand the fact that I binge, but when I'm in the zone, I can't stop and also enjoy that sick/stuffed/gross feeling
    I'm sure there is some emotional/chemical component to it all....but I've yet to figure it out!

    Good luck...hang in there...you're not alone
    Kim
  • Brenda_1965
    Brenda_1965 Posts: 314 Member
    OMG!!!! LosingIt!!!! I have YOUR answer!!! You are allergic to corn!!! My allergist told me that when we consume what we are allergic to, our bodies swell. This is painful, but not for very long...because the body sends out the endorphins to dull the pain it caused. WHICH makes us feel more wonderful than when we started.

    I guess I knew all this but in the 3 months I've been working at it, it slipped my mind.

    I'm allergic to milk, sugar, and corn!!! These ARE the things I binge on.

    Fluconazone... I need to take some to get the overgrowth of yeast out of my tummy again! I will try to find the link and post it.

    Brenda
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    I've never really thought about THAT part of it before, but I guess I do before all the guilt sets in. I've been doing reallllly well lately with the binges. Binges are strange...maybe we can never fully understand them..I've tried. My last binge was over a month ago....and a 100 calorie bag of popcorn triggered it...so I went back and looked in my food log and for some weird *kitten* reason, the days I binged, I've had popcorn 3 out 4 of them. So what's the deal with popcorn for me? I have no clue..but I'm staying away from Orville!!!!:grumble:

    Maybe someone else has better advice than I do.:flowerforyou:

    popcorn..or just corn can do that...the corn has alot of sugar....the 100 cal snack bags are giving the wrong impression to a lot of people,,,,,the quality of the cals is more important than the number..
    with corn...the body is given a green light and wants more sugar after the taste of it...it is vicious cycle and the body will tell the brain to GIVE ME MORE...and for a person who can binge...a binge will be the result...some can eat one bag of the stuff but for alot of people the trigger gets set off and it becomes a huge battle with the body usually convincing the brain that one more wont hurt...the good thing is to recognize your triggers and avoid them....whomever came up with the 100 cal snack idea is getting rich and we are getting or staying fat.
    :drinker:
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    OMG!!!! LosingIt!!!! I have YOUR answer!!! You are allergic to corn!!! My allergist told me that when we consume what we are allergic to, our bodies swell. This is painful, but not for very long...because the body sends out the endorphins to dull the pain it caused. WHICH makes us feel more wonderful than when we started.

    I guess I knew all this but in the 3 months I've been working at it, it slipped my mind.

    I'm allergic to milk, sugar, and corn!!! These ARE the things I binge on.

    Fluconazone... I need to take some to get the overgrowth of yeast out of my tummy again! I will try to find the link and post it.

    Brenda

    I suppose that is possible but I sort of dont buy it..but if that works then go with it
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    OMG!!!! LosingIt!!!! I have YOUR answer!!! You are allergic to corn!!! My allergist told me that when we consume what we are allergic to, our bodies swell. This is painful, but not for very long...because the body sends out the endorphins to dull the pain it caused. WHICH makes us feel more wonderful than when we started.

    I guess I knew all this but in the 3 months I've been working at it, it slipped my mind.

    I'm allergic to milk, sugar, and corn!!! These ARE the things I binge on.

    Fluconazone... I need to take some to get the overgrowth of yeast out of my tummy again! I will try to find the link and post it.

    Brenda
    all those items mentioned are also ones that hit the blood stream pretty quickly and turn into sugars which create a craving for more simple carbs...

    To one it might be an allergy, to another perhaps a carb craving because of the type we're eating..
  • It is funny to me how when we have binged ( maybe purged) we feel so alone in the world with our problem. yet as I read the replies here, I see that we are not alone. Part of my recovery from the binge-purge cycle is knowing and making sure I am not alone in this fight. That is why I joined mfp- a simple online journal with no other accountability or encouragement is not enough when we struggle with those eating habits. it is definitely easier to binge when no one knows, or is around!
    I have also found help in Denise Austin's reccommendations in not restricting my calories too much, filling up on fiber, and allowing healthy snacks, and an occasional treat. My plan is for a mx. of 1500 calories and 40-46 g. fat. It will take a little longer but will stay off longer and I binge less. Allow the Oreos on your diet plan- but plan the serving allowed and put the serving on a plate and wait a little while. You still want it, sit down and eat it slow relishing it.
    Good Luck- I know it is a tough road.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    It is funny to me how when we have binged ( maybe purged) we feel so alone in the world with our problem. yet as I read the replies here, I see that we are not alone. Part of my recovery from the binge-purge cycle is knowing and making sure I am not alone in this fight. That is why I joined mfp- a simple online journal with no other accountability or encouragement is not enough when we struggle with those eating habits. it is definitely easier to binge when no one knows, or is around!
    I have also found help in Denise Austin's reccommendations in not restricting my calories too much, filling up on fiber, and allowing healthy snacks, and an occasional treat. My plan is for a mx. of 1500 calories and 40-46 g. fat. It will take a little longer but will stay off longer and I binge less. Allow the Oreos on your diet plan- but plan the serving allowed and put the serving on a plate and wait a little while. You still want it, sit down and eat it slow relishing it.
    Good Luck- I know it is a tough road.

    I have to respectfullly disagree with the oreos/snacks idea....treats are for the selfish parts of us....but the best part of us, the part that will carry us through this journey (our body) does not want a sugar filled chemical laden treat...we fool ourselves that we deserve it...but does our body deserve it? start treating yourself with things like good real cheese, or peanut butter, or nuts...it is our bodies that pay the price for our selfishness...
  • I would agree with you that our snacks should be healthy and make the calories count. But a treat is a treat. Allowing those treats once in a while is not being selfish but smart. For a binger there is also a deprivation thinking that leads to a binge. Allowing the treat and relishing it staves off a binge, especially when the rest of your food has been healthy and filling.
  • yellow_pepper
    yellow_pepper Posts: 708 Member
    I don't know why you enjoy it. But it sounds like you need to get that crap out of your cupboard. If it's not available, you can't eat it at 3am. The sooner you stop, the sooner you'll sleep through the night.

    And why are you waking up at 3am? Are you suffering from anxiety? That may be the core issue here. Perhaps the feeling of the binge serves to settle your nerves. You might be better off taking melatonin - or some Rx.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    I would agree with you that our snacks should be healthy and make the calories count. But a treat is a treat. Allowing those treats once in a while is not being selfish but smart. For a binger there is also a deprivation thinking that leads to a binge. Allowing the treat and relishing it staves off a binge, especially when the rest of your food has been healthy and filling.

    well once again...it is the body that pays for the "treat" so if it hurts the body...how is it a treat? it isnt...it is a slap...but to each their own
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
    I think you enjoy it because it's part of the cycle of self-punishment. At least that's what I've experienced. The binge is punishment, and the aftermath is, too.

    I used to enjoy it, too. . .and I think it's because I think, on some level. . .I don't deserve to feel good. (I'm getting over this, BTW).

    I also agree that if you are a binger, those foods don't belong in your house. I don't think you should ever say "never" to yourself, but I do not/can not keep junk food in my house, and when I do bring it in (rarely), it's a single serving. (not a large package of small bags, either. . .a box with six "hundred calorie packs" is still a six hundred calorie binge waiting to happen.)
  • yellow_pepper
    yellow_pepper Posts: 708 Member
    I think you enjoy it because it's part of the cycle of self-punishment. At least that's what I've experienced. The binge is punishment, and the aftermath is, too.

    I used to enjoy it, too. . .and I think it's because I think, on some level. . .I don't deserve to feel good. (I'm getting over this, BTW).

    I also agree that if you are a binger, those foods don't belong in your house. I don't think you should ever say "never" to yourself, but I do not/can not keep junk food in my house, and when I do bring it in (rarely), it's a single serving. (not a large package of small bags, either. . .a box with six "hundred calorie packs" is still a six hundred calorie binge waiting to happen.)

    Well said, Viviakay.
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    I think you enjoy it because it's part of the cycle of self-punishment. At least that's what I've experienced. The binge is punishment, and the aftermath is, too.

    I used to enjoy it, too. . .and I think it's because I think, on some level. . .I don't deserve to feel good. (I'm getting over this, BTW).

    I also agree that if you are a binger, those foods don't belong in your house. I don't think you should ever say "never" to yourself, but I do not/can not keep junk food in my house, and when I do bring it in (rarely), it's a single serving. (not a large package of small bags, either. . .a box with six "hundred calorie packs" is still a six hundred calorie binge waiting to happen.)
    Yea very well said, big boxes of 100 cal packs make no sense to me, you make one bag of popcorn, yum, right? make another bag, yum right? on it goes, so why buy the very expensive 100 cal packs of popcorn when it equals 1000 if you eat them all. Makes no sense...I totally agree with you and yellow-pepper... the binge stuff doesn't belong in the house, be better to go by a small bag of popcorn and suck up the extra cals with the seasoning than bring in the extra pkg's.

    My thougts is all... though I have wondered just how many actually eat more than one pkg on those...noone ever mentions it but surely it must be tough on some to have them sitting there. Kudos to those of you that eat one and stop at that.

    I've begun logging ALL my cals in (talkin about days I go over for whatever reason...no matter how much) and I have actually found it quite motivating rather than disturbing...guess I find my motivation in odd places?
  • Nich0le
    Nich0le Posts: 2,906 Member
    Not only do I agree with all the comments so far but the 100 calorie packs are a farce. It is just a way for the maker of that product to make even more money, not to mention that like the infamous Snackwells cookies of the 90's people that tend to purchase 100 calorie packs tend to eat more than people with a similar product in normal packaging because mentally you are thinking it is "Only 100 Cals".

    You said you constantly loose weight and around 20 lbs you sabotage yourself (for all intents and purposes). You are standing in your own way, maybe you need to look at why you are mentally putting up road blocks to further weight loss. Many people do this for many reasons, you can do this, you just have to look at your situation and break through the road blocks and do this, you can and you deserve to be successful!

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • Brenda_1965
    Brenda_1965 Posts: 314 Member
    I agree! I need to get that crap out of the house. I have it there for my kids, but I'm sure my hubby will hide it in the garage for me. Maybe he will even let the kids know where it is.

    The 100 calorie packs are humorous sometimes. In the Oreo cakesters, there are three tiny cakes, each the size of a quarter. My skinny little daughter can open the pack, eat two, and leave one behind.

    Tonight my kids opened their girl scout cookies and each had a few. I took two of the caramel delites and left them in the car. Within 10 minutes I had the 'sick feeling' again. It's nice to know that I can get that with only a minimal amount of the stuff.... if I just wait it out and then pay attention.

    I just had a 6 inch subway sandwich for supper, with the works. It was awesome and I feel full, maybe even a little high. I have 200 calories left for the day, and haven't put in my 30 minutes on the treadmill.

    THANK YOU SO MUCH! ALL OF YOU!
    Brenda
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