How soon is too soon?

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Replies

  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,271 Member
    don't get snippy. you asked for personal advice on the internet, without giving all the information in the original post. if you can't take any and all advice, don't post a question like that.

    That was HARDLY advice!!
  • Moofey
    Moofey Posts: 444 Member
    don't get snippy. you asked for personal advice on the internet, without giving all the information in the original post. if you can't take any and all advice, don't post a question like that.

    That was HARDLY advice!!

    I again can say I agree!
  • KayteeBear
    KayteeBear Posts: 1,007 Member
    Depends on you. First off, don't worry about him. It's up to YOU when you're ready. I usually say at least a little while alone is nice to get used to being on your own. But it's up to you I guess.

    A really good friend of mine just got out of a year long relationship and within a week she's with another guy...but the first guy treated her like crap and I think she was "over" him before they broke up so she had more time to move on and this guy she's known for a while and he treats her well...but honestly... I think it's too long and he might end up as a rebound for her...but it's her life.

    Just as it's your life to choose when you want to date again...
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    I don't understand why you are asking this question. You have already taken interest in another guy and posted about it here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/337254-question-about-how-guys-work

    And that thread was started almost an hour before this one.

    I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong. You broke up with your boyfriend - go have fun, be careful, don't get all infatuated right away, etc. But I am saying that (according to your post) you are taking an interest in someone else, then coming back to ask how long you should wait before taking an interest in someone else - as if you haven't already taken the interest. Seems a bit backward.

    Are you seeking confirmation for things already done?
  • rocketpants
    rocketpants Posts: 419 Member
    11 days ago
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339 Member
    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    I don't understand why you are asking this question. You have already taken interest in another guy and posted about it here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/337254-question-about-how-guys-work

    And that thread was started almost an hour before this one.

    I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong. You broke up with your boyfriend - go have fun, be careful, don't get all infatuated right away, etc. But I am saying that (according to your post) you are taking an interest in someone else, then coming back to ask how long you should wait before taking an interest in someone else - as if you haven't already taken the interest. Seems a bit backward.

    Are you seeking confirmation for things already done?

    No, I posted that thread and then started to feel ridiculously guilty and then posted this one... I haven't really taken an interest in the other guy, I just think he's attractive. I haven't even talked to him! haha
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339 Member
    11 days ago

    I forgot mondays exist... sorry haha I was counting it as three days from sunday to wednesday
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    You broke up with your boyfriend..you didn't die. Look away, date casualy, but don't feel guilty for looking at other guys. :flowerforyou:
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339 Member
    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    You broke up with your boyfriend..you didn't die. Look away, date casualy, but don't feel guilty for looking at other guys. :flowerforyou:

    I was with him for three years, from 15 to 18, which I think is a VERY important period in your life. It kind of feels like a part of me died. I know that might seem melodramatic, but I did love him. He was not only my boyfriend, but he was also my best friend.

    So not only did I lose my first love, I lost my best friend as well. It really, really, really sucks.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    I don't understand why you are asking this question. You have already taken interest in another guy and posted about it here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/337254-question-about-how-guys-work

    And that thread was started almost an hour before this one.

    I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong. You broke up with your boyfriend - go have fun, be careful, don't get all infatuated right away, etc. But I am saying that (according to your post) you are taking an interest in someone else, then coming back to ask how long you should wait before taking an interest in someone else - as if you haven't already taken the interest. Seems a bit backward.

    Are you seeking confirmation for things already done?

    No, I posted that thread and then started to feel ridiculously guilty and then posted this one... I haven't really taken an interest in the other guy, I just think he's attractive. I haven't even talked to him! haha
    I've talked with you before and suspect you are smart enough to realize you are kidding yourself with that response. Nothing wrong with seeking confirmation/advice for something already done - just present it as such. And I don't know about how you define "taking an interest in" but in the real-world lexicon that I refer to, you have taken an interest in that guy.

    And so what! Go have fun. You are young. Quit mentally gnashing your teeth and over-thinking everything. You'll have plenty of time to do that in your 20s.
  • acasey0123
    acasey0123 Posts: 626 Member
    In my opinion, I think you should take interest in other guys when you feel ready emotionally. Give yourself more time if you think you need it. :) I hope things get better

    I'm also worried about him though :/ what if I'm ready in a month, but he finds out and is hurt by it?

    But thank you :) This is quite logical actually haha

    just my two cents, my bf broke up with me and then three weeks later he had a new gf, and that just crushed me...but you feel whatever is in your heart
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    You broke up with your boyfriend..you didn't die. Look away, date casualy, but don't feel guilty for looking at other guys. :flowerforyou:

    I was with him for three years, from 15 to 18, which I think is a VERY important period in your life. It kind of feels like a part of me died. I know that might seem melodramatic, but I did love him. He was not only my boyfriend, but he was also my best friend.

    So not only did I lose my first love, I lost my best friend as well. It really, really, really sucks.
    I'm sure most of us on here have had something like that happen, and it DOES suck.
    Sweetheart you are young. Go out and have fun with your friends, take care of yourself. Dance, laugh too hard.... If you meet somebody that catches your eye during this time, don't think you are bound to some mourning period.

    Unless you really want to punish yourself like that(but take my word for it, that's no fun).
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    In my opinion, I think you should take interest in other guys when you feel ready emotionally. Give yourself more time if you think you need it. :) I hope things get better

    Moofey's got the right answer. All the rest is just discussion.

    It took me more than a couple months to even consider it...but my situation was different, there are kids involved, etc..

    She had a fiance within a month, and has a different fiance now. Yay for moving on eh?

    =D
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    You broke up with your boyfriend..you didn't die. Look away, date casualy, but don't feel guilty for looking at other guys. :flowerforyou:

    I was with him for three years, from 15 to 18, which I think is a VERY important period in your life. It kind of feels like a part of me died. I know that might seem melodramatic, but I did love him. He was not only my boyfriend, but he was also my best friend.

    So not only did I lose my first love, I lost my best friend as well. It really, really, really sucks.
    I am sorry your going through this. It does suck to lose someone in a breakup. But your heart and your mind will both let you know when you are ready. (hugs):flowerforyou:
  • cklbrown
    cklbrown Posts: 4,696 Member
    I understand your feelings. Just because you broke up it doesn't mean you no longer care for him. You were friends and that is important. You will move on when you are ready. Are you willing to wait to move on because of his feelings and then find out he has moved on with someone else while you waited?
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