Concerned for my 10 year olds health

So this one is not for me. My 10 year old daughter who will be 11 in March is starting to put on weight, now I love her no matter what but I am getting worried for her health. My side and her dad's side of the family both have a history of diabetes. She is around 98lbs currently and probably about 4'4 (maybe taller, I honestly haven't measured her in awhile). I know that I can help her with diet and exercise at my house to get her down to her weight range for her age but the problem I have is with her dad. We are divorced and share custody so I don't have much control over what she eats and does over at his house. I fear even I try to get her on a healthy path that it will just be canceled out once she goes back to her dads. As far as I know over there she eats lots of sweets, they eat out a lot since he can't cook, and I have no idea if she even gets out over there to play or anything. I guess I am looking for advice or suggestions any of you might have.
«13

Replies

  • cvdub16
    cvdub16 Posts: 71 Member
    Thank you all so far for your advise. I appreciate it.
  • RunsWithBees
    RunsWithBees Posts: 1,508 Member
    If I were in your shoes I’d make an appointment with her pediatrician and talk to them beforehand about your concerns about her weight so they can make that the focus of the checkup. Talk to her father as well and take him to the appointment with the doctor if you can get him to go, that way you can put the heft of the “talk about weight” on the pediatrician (so you don’t look like the “bad guy”) and maybe you can even get a referral to a diet specialist so they can educate her (and dad) on her nutritional needs. This way you can always fall back on “remember what the doctor recommended for your health” if they don’t seem to be following a healthier path. Well, this is what I would try but whatever you choose to do good luck! :)
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,843 Member
    If I were in your shoes I’d make an appointment with her pediatrician and talk to them beforehand about your concerns about her weight so they can make that the focus of the checkup. Talk to her father as well and take him to the appointment with the doctor if you can get him to go, that way you can put the heft of the “talk about weight” on the pediatrician (so you don’t look like the “bad guy”) and maybe you can even get a referral to a diet specialist so they can educate her (and dad) on her nutritional needs. This way you can always fall back on “remember what the doctor recommended for your health” if they don’t seem to be following a healthier path. Well, this is what I would try but whatever you choose to do good luck! :)

    Yes, another vote for bringing her father with you to the pediatrician.
  • jayemes
    jayemes Posts: 865 Member
    My 10 year old son was starting to get chunky so I started talking about how much I enjoyed the gym and how eating good foods fueled my workouts - and also about how many years of eating poorly made me overweight to the point that I can't do what I'd like to at the gym until I get healthier. Eat reasonable portions. Get her moving. Do whatever you can to get her active. Hikes. Bike rides. Monkey bars at the playground. If you're on good terms with your ex, talk to him about keeping her more active and trying to limit the sweets. I know with my son when we go to a party and I let him eat what he wants, he'll eat way too much and feel sick. I just tell him his body isn't used to eating tons of crap and he gets it now.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    Just be careful. It is so easy to make a child feel as though her value and whether she is loved or worthy of being loved depends on her weight.
    This was the most difficult age for me, and I'm not the one with all the answers..but I think to just let her know that she's loved and do what you can to help her self esteem is so much more than trying to control her diet..

    I am so much in agreement with these comments. Its a tough topic to handle at that age, but I think if you can approach it as a family and the family is all trying to be healthier you can make progress without making her feel targeted. Just make sure you talk about how to handle her self esteem as well as increasing activity and decreasing calories.

    ~best wishes to you and you family!