i’m so ashamed - using food as a coping mechanism

trulyhealy
trulyhealy Posts: 242 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
this isn’t a question more of a rant but since my flat mates getting covid i’ve had to quarantine and everyday since then i’ve ordered take out 😭😭 i don’t know how to stop bc it’s became a habit

it will be a week tomorrow and i can’t go to the gym and i’m fine all day and then it gets to 8pm and have an urge to order food. hopefully there isn’t too much damage bc it’s pretty much the only meal i’m eating a day but i’m scared to go back to my old weight and it’s embarrassing bc i’ve been trying to lose weight since the middle of may but i’m still fat (145lbs) should be at my goal weight by now

(i think it’s more to do with me being sad and stressed since moving and having no fiends or family pretty much i need to stop using food as a coping mechanism!)
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Replies

  • B_Plus_Effort
    B_Plus_Effort Posts: 311 Member
    edited October 2020
    hi that sucks, can I suggest you drink water when ever you feel hungry and maybe order light soups if you can, like war wonton or, egg soup, or hot and sour, I know you're just renting and hewk that's better than internalizing it, find a new show on Netflix and binge watch it, and do 10 jumping jacks in between the episodes, lol make a game out of it, like a drinking game, every time they argue you do sit ups, or something, you come up with it
  • StephanieStC
    StephanieStC Posts: 59 Member
    Great suggestions, muszyngr!

    Also, pop in an exercise DVD at 7pm. It will a) elevate your mood and b) make you really thirsty, so then you can fill up on water.

    Recommend the book The Beck Diet (prefer the workbook). It's not a diet, it's cognitive-behavioral method of learning to lose weight. It will give you something to do. (Follow the workbook, make index reminder cards, etc).

    Good luck!
  • sal10851
    sal10851 Posts: 171 Member
    I use food for coping mechanisms too but I eat low calorie dense foods that fill me up and prevents over eating. I know that it's difficult to make good choices when stressed but it's even harder when you give yourself access to foods that make you over eat. Mine was ice cream. I now make protein shakes with the consistency of ice cream with twice the volume and a fraction of the calories. The key is finding healthier lower calorie alternatives of foods you already enjoy.
  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,301 Member
    I'm sure its a really difficult situation. You have probably been really careful and your housemate may not have been. This quarantine is something you sought to avoid, only to have it dumped on you, its impactful, isolating probably disorientating and depressing. Allow yourself to feel hurt. If the only least helpful thing you do for the two weeks is order a take out and it does not crash your finances, don't be hard on yourself. Think of it as, soothing your your inner self, giving yourself a form of tender loving care, tlc is essential. This is something we all need from time to time. I don't think now is the time to beat yourself up.

    When you feel less raw you can get your head together, then try for a delivery slot to provide the foods you prefer its hard being in a position you did not personally sign up for. Take care
  • Redordeadhead
    Redordeadhead Posts: 1,188 Member
    Sorry you're going through a hard time. You have some good tips already, I would just add: are you intentionally eating only one meal a day?

    I wonder if you made yourself a healthy breakfast and/or lunch earlier in the day, you would be less likely to feel the urge to order take out in the evening. I know that when I'm ravenous, I pretty much want to inhale all the carb-heavy, fatty, salty food I can get my hands on and persuading myself to cook some fish and veg or make a chicken salad or a healthy dinner is much more difficult...

    You may also find some pleasure in cooking, trying out new recipes or returning to old favourites. I was just reading an article about how home cooking during lockdown has been stress-reducing and soothing for many people, even those who didn't cook before, and it gives something else to focus on and distract us. Might be worth a shot!
  • charmmeth
    charmmeth Posts: 936 Member
    It is so hard when you are cooped up in lockdown/quarantine. After Easter I binged on Easter eggs and ended up at a higher weight than the first time I started to lose using mfp. Towards the end of May I logged back in here and five months later I am nearly (back) at my goal weight, which I haven't been at for over three years. That's just to say that I have a bit of a sense of where you might be at from those weeks after Easter.

    As others have suggested, can you get a grocery delivery instead of take away? if not, could a friend or neighbour shop for you, since you can't go out? If not (and it sounds from your post as though maybe not), are there takeaway options that are nutritionally better for you than what you have been ordering? Where I live a lot of restaurants that don't usually do takeaway are offering it at present, so there is a far wider range of options.

    What also helped me was getting into working out at home (I am a fan of the videos at Bodyfit by Amy). That really helped me to get back on track, expecially her 10 minute beginners cardio and beginners abs, which have been a great springboard into her more challenging videos.

    Good luck!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Redordeadhead wrote: »
    Sorry you're going through a hard time. You have some good tips already, I would just add: are you intentionally eating only one meal a day?

    I wonder if you made yourself a healthy breakfast and/or lunch earlier in the day, you would be less likely to feel the urge to order take out in the evening.     I know that when I'm ravenous, I pretty much want to inhale all the carb-heavy, fatty, salty food I can get my hands on and persuading myself to cook some fish and veg or make a chicken salad or a healthy dinner is much more difficult...

    You may also find some pleasure in cooking, trying out new recipes or returning to old favourites. I was just reading an article about how home cooking during lockdown has been stress-reducing and soothing for many people, even those who didn't cook before, and it gives something else to focus on and distract us. Might be worth a shot!

    I was wondering this too - I'd binge at night if it was the only meal I was eating per day.

    trulyhealy - try eating more during the day.

    If that doesn't fix things, because you said "i’m so ashamed - using food as a coping mechanism" and mentioned "sad and stressed" and "coping mechanism" again, do seek mental health help.

    Here in Massachusetts and surrounding states, access to mental health therapy has been expanded by the switch to tele-health.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    edited October 2020
    I think it’s okay to admit you’re not okay right now. This is a very scary situation, the future is uncertain, you aren’t in control, and many of the ways people cope with stressful situations (such as getting a big hug from a friend) aren’t allowed in quarantine. It’s not shameful that you turned to eating to help yourself feel better, it’s very normal.

    Can you set yourself to eat at maintenance for the next little while at least until quarantine is over? That way you may not be losing weight, but at least you know you aren’t moving backwards. Hit pause on everything for a bit. Log what you eat so you feel some control over the situation and know how much you are taking in, but don’t stress over it.

    Then work on finding some ways to help yourself feel better that aren’t food related. Personally I like finding a YouTube dance workout for a song I like. Or painting my fingernails. I have a friend who makes collages of buildings, flowers, furniture, and then imagines herself in those places. Whatever works for you.

    Also, I don’t blame you for not wanting to mess with cooking right now. If you are going to get takeout, see if you can find some healthy options. Italian can be good if you stay away from cream sauces. We have a Chinese place which will do grilled fish and fresh veggies. A lot of Indian places have healthy options. Even Wendy’s will do a grilled chicken salad. You have options, you just have to figure them out!

    Virtual hugs, hang in there.
  • fat2thingirl
    fat2thingirl Posts: 41 Member
    aw, I'm sorry you're feeling bad @trulyhealy :( you dont have to feel ashamed about it, it's not a moral failure, it's just food. But I totally understand feeling ashamed, I eat as a coping mechanism a lot too and the shame and self-hatred can get so so bad. Something that helps me is to keep reminding myself that it is NOT a moral failing but just something I did that I would like to not do in the future, because I have a long term goal (weight loss) that I wish to achieve more than the short term goal (eating excessively).
    I also find that using other coping mechanisms to deal with the stress can be helpful too.
    Currently, I've been finding some success in playing video games and lighting vanilla scented candles as a way of destressing and distracting, instead of binge/over-eating. But it could be anything.. A word cross game, music, walks, home workout videos, crafts, puzzles, a warm shower, etc. whatever floats your boat that also wont mess up your long term goals. Hope this helps :)
    You can get through this! :)
  • Anya_000
    Anya_000 Posts: 725 Member
    Take it easy on yourself. You'll get back on track once you're out of quarantine. I was quarantined for a month. (I, personally, didn't have COVID). Then, we had fires and couldn't go out, because you couldn't breathe. It was hell. I ended up drinking and eating too much. Put on a few pounds. But the boredom, loneliness and anxiety were overwhelming. I decided it's ok if I gain a little during the period, because there is only so much a person can handle. I'm the same weight as you, so putting on a few pounds isn't the end of the world.

    Once the quarantine and smoke ended, I just got back to my workout routines, and got back to healthy eating. The weight is steadily coming back off.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,281 Member
    So much support here. There are so many of us who can relate. I think for me, the really hard, stark realization that this quarantine situation isn't getting better is sinking in. It was much easier over the summer to project "Winter is going to be hard!" Here we are, 34F this morning, and winter is staring some of us in the face.

    I have been trying to keep up a different workout routine since March when my pool and gym closed. It led to a one time injury (crashed my body onto a wooden chair) and an overuse injury from trying to keep up a great fitness level by walking and running when my body was accustomed to swimming. Backing off from that and being stuck at home on summer evenings led to more cocktails and snacks than I ever had before (combined with the missing exercise calories that I might have had). It stinks. Plain and simple. But here we are.

    Try to think long term. If it's been a crappy week of take outs, find an end date and make other changes to your routine. Maybe that's eating more, earlier in the day, changing up what you're doing when you're usually having take out, exploring new recipes that will give you the opportunity to cook something new...

    And keep coming here. You're in good company. You're not alone. Make one good decision. Then make another :heart:
  • Dogmom1978
    Dogmom1978 Posts: 1,580 Member
    First, you say it’s the only meal you eat per day. Are you intentionally fasting the rest of the day or punishing yourself for the guilt you feel over eating the take out?

    Second, you say you are “still fat” at 145. How tall are you? What is your goal weight? I’m 5’6” and while I would want to lose a few more lbs if I were 145, I would definitely not classify myself as fat at that weight.

    So, I’m wondering if maybe you need to talk to a professional. If you perceive yourself as fat if you are in fact not fat AND you are only eating a single meal a day to punish yourself because of how you feel about said meal choice, some help might be needed. Also, I think therapy might be in order from some of the previous posts you have made on MFP. It’s ok to need help, but you need to make the choice to get the help.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Dogmom1978 wrote: »
    First, you say it’s the only meal you eat per day. Are you intentionally fasting the rest of the day or punishing yourself for the guilt you feel over eating the take out?

    Second, you say you are “still fat” at 145. How tall are you? What is your goal weight? I’m 5’6” and while I would want to lose a few more lbs if I were 145, I would definitely not classify myself as fat at that weight.

    So, I’m wondering if maybe you need to talk to a professional. If you perceive yourself as fat if you are in fact not fat AND you are only eating a single meal a day to punish yourself because of how you feel about said meal choice, some help might be needed. Also, I think therapy might be in order from some of the previous posts you have made on MFP. It’s ok to need help, but you need to make the choice to get the help.

    Here she says she is a size 10 UK (8 US) jeans and 5'5" or 5'6" and includes pictures (definitely not "fat"):

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10813596/i-look-fatter-but-i-weigh-less-these-photos-are-20-days-apart
  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,496 Member
    muszyngr wrote: »
    hi that sucks, can I suggest you drink water when ever you feel hungry and maybe order light soups if you can, like war wonton or, egg soup, or hot and sour, I know you're just renting and hewk that's better than internalizing it, find a new show on Netflix and binge watch it, and do 10 jumping jacks in between the episodes, lol make a game out of it, like a drinking game, every time they argue you do sit ups, or something, you come up with it

    Binge watching IMO and is not a good recommendation. Sample comments

    Yoon Hi Sung, Eun Yeon Kang and Wei-Na Lee from the University of Texas at Austin will present their findings at the 65th Annual Conference of the International Communication Association in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The researchers conducted a survey on 316 18- to 29-year-olds on how often they watched TV; how often they had feelings of loneliness, depression and self-regulation deficiency; and finally on how often they binge-watched TV. They found that the more lonely and depressed the study participants were, the more likely they were to binge-watch TV, using this activity to move away from negative feelings.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7344932/

    https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-01/ica-fol012615.php
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,092 Member
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    muszyngr wrote: »
    hi that sucks, can I suggest you drink water when ever you feel hungry and maybe order light soups if you can, like war wonton or, egg soup, or hot and sour, I know you're just renting and hewk that's better than internalizing it, find a new show on Netflix and binge watch it, and do 10 jumping jacks in between the episodes, lol make a game out of it, like a drinking game, every time they argue you do sit ups, or something, you come up with it

    Binge watching IMO and is not a good recommendation. Sample comments

    Yoon Hi Sung, Eun Yeon Kang and Wei-Na Lee from the University of Texas at Austin will present their findings at the 65th Annual Conference of the International Communication Association in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The researchers conducted a survey on 316 18- to 29-year-olds on how often they watched TV; how often they had feelings of loneliness, depression and self-regulation deficiency; and finally on how often they binge-watched TV. They found that the more lonely and depressed the study participants were, the more likely they were to binge-watch TV, using this activity to move away from negative feelings.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7344932/

    https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-01/ica-fol012615.php

    Not only is correlation not causation, but the researchers here, for reasons undisclosed in this snippet, appear to believe that any causation is running the other way, and that binging is solace or even a temporary cure for negative feelings.
  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,496 Member
    edited October 2020
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    muszyngr wrote: »
    hi that sucks, can I suggest you drink water when ever you feel hungry and maybe order light soups if you can, like war wonton or, egg soup, or hot and sour, I know you're just renting and hewk that's better than internalizing it, find a new show on Netflix and binge watch it, and do 10 jumping jacks in between the episodes, lol make a game out of it, like a drinking game, every time they argue you do sit ups, or something, you come up with it

    Binge watching IMO and is not a good recommendation. Sample comments

    Yoon Hi Sung, Eun Yeon Kang and Wei-Na Lee from the University of Texas at Austin will present their findings at the 65th Annual Conference of the International Communication Association in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The researchers conducted a survey on 316 18- to 29-year-olds on how often they watched TV; how often they had feelings of loneliness, depression and self-regulation deficiency; and finally on how often they binge-watched TV. They found that the more lonely and depressed the study participants were, the more likely they were to binge-watch TV, using this activity to move away from negative feelings.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7344932/

    https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-01/ica-fol012615.php

    Not only is correlation not causation, but the researchers here, for reasons undisclosed in this snippet, appear to believe that any causation is running the other way, and that binging is solace or even a temporary cure for negative feelings.

    Well feel free to present evidence that binge watching TV is good for one in any way shape or form.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,092 Member
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    muszyngr wrote: »
    hi that sucks, can I suggest you drink water when ever you feel hungry and maybe order light soups if you can, like war wonton or, egg soup, or hot and sour, I know you're just renting and hewk that's better than internalizing it, find a new show on Netflix and binge watch it, and do 10 jumping jacks in between the episodes, lol make a game out of it, like a drinking game, every time they argue you do sit ups, or something, you come up with it

    Binge watching IMO and is not a good recommendation. Sample comments

    Yoon Hi Sung, Eun Yeon Kang and Wei-Na Lee from the University of Texas at Austin will present their findings at the 65th Annual Conference of the International Communication Association in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The researchers conducted a survey on 316 18- to 29-year-olds on how often they watched TV; how often they had feelings of loneliness, depression and self-regulation deficiency; and finally on how often they binge-watched TV. They found that the more lonely and depressed the study participants were, the more likely they were to binge-watch TV, using this activity to move away from negative feelings.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7344932/

    https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-01/ica-fol012615.php

    Not only is correlation not causation, but the researchers here, for reasons undisclosed in this snippet, appear to believe that any causation is running the other way, and that binging is solace or even a temporary cure for negative feelings.

    Well feel free to present evidence that binge watching TV is good for one in any way shape or form.

    Hey, I'm just pointing out the conclusions of the study you chose. If you don't like it, pick a different study.
  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,496 Member
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    muszyngr wrote: »
    hi that sucks, can I suggest you drink water when ever you feel hungry and maybe order light soups if you can, like war wonton or, egg soup, or hot and sour, I know you're just renting and hewk that's better than internalizing it, find a new show on Netflix and binge watch it, and do 10 jumping jacks in between the episodes, lol make a game out of it, like a drinking game, every time they argue you do sit ups, or something, you come up with it

    Binge watching IMO and is not a good recommendation. Sample comments

    Yoon Hi Sung, Eun Yeon Kang and Wei-Na Lee from the University of Texas at Austin will present their findings at the 65th Annual Conference of the International Communication Association in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The researchers conducted a survey on 316 18- to 29-year-olds on how often they watched TV; how often they had feelings of loneliness, depression and self-regulation deficiency; and finally on how often they binge-watched TV. They found that the more lonely and depressed the study participants were, the more likely they were to binge-watch TV, using this activity to move away from negative feelings.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7344932/

    https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-01/ica-fol012615.php

    Not only is correlation not causation, but the researchers here, for reasons undisclosed in this snippet, appear to believe that any causation is running the other way, and that binging is solace or even a temporary cure for negative feelings.

    Well feel free to present evidence that binge watching TV is good for one in any way shape or form.

    Hey, I'm just pointing out the conclusions of the study you chose. If you don't like it, pick a different study.

    So you have nothing. I'm good with their thoughts.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,739 Member
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    muszyngr wrote: »
    hi that sucks, can I suggest you drink water when ever you feel hungry and maybe order light soups if you can, like war wonton or, egg soup, or hot and sour, I know you're just renting and hewk that's better than internalizing it, find a new show on Netflix and binge watch it, and do 10 jumping jacks in between the episodes, lol make a game out of it, like a drinking game, every time they argue you do sit ups, or something, you come up with it

    Binge watching IMO and is not a good recommendation. Sample comments

    Yoon Hi Sung, Eun Yeon Kang and Wei-Na Lee from the University of Texas at Austin will present their findings at the 65th Annual Conference of the International Communication Association in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The researchers conducted a survey on 316 18- to 29-year-olds on how often they watched TV; how often they had feelings of loneliness, depression and self-regulation deficiency; and finally on how often they binge-watched TV. They found that the more lonely and depressed the study participants were, the more likely they were to binge-watch TV, using this activity to move away from negative feelings.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7344932/

    https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-01/ica-fol012615.php

    Not only is correlation not causation, but the researchers here, for reasons undisclosed in this snippet, appear to believe that any causation is running the other way, and that binging is solace or even a temporary cure for negative feelings.

    Well feel free to present evidence that binge watching TV is good for one in any way shape or form.

    Hey, I'm just pointing out the conclusions of the study you chose. If you don't like it, pick a different study.

    So you have nothing. I'm good with their thoughts.

    Not a study but it's pretty damned good for satisfying one's curiosity when a show keeps ending on cliffhangers. :)
  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,496 Member
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    muszyngr wrote: »
    hi that sucks, can I suggest you drink water when ever you feel hungry and maybe order light soups if you can, like war wonton or, egg soup, or hot and sour, I know you're just renting and hewk that's better than internalizing it, find a new show on Netflix and binge watch it, and do 10 jumping jacks in between the episodes, lol make a game out of it, like a drinking game, every time they argue you do sit ups, or something, you come up with it

    Binge watching IMO and is not a good recommendation. Sample comments

    Yoon Hi Sung, Eun Yeon Kang and Wei-Na Lee from the University of Texas at Austin will present their findings at the 65th Annual Conference of the International Communication Association in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The researchers conducted a survey on 316 18- to 29-year-olds on how often they watched TV; how often they had feelings of loneliness, depression and self-regulation deficiency; and finally on how often they binge-watched TV. They found that the more lonely and depressed the study participants were, the more likely they were to binge-watch TV, using this activity to move away from negative feelings.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7344932/

    https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-01/ica-fol012615.php

    Not only is correlation not causation, but the researchers here, for reasons undisclosed in this snippet, appear to believe that any causation is running the other way, and that binging is solace or even a temporary cure for negative feelings.

    Well feel free to present evidence that binge watching TV is good for one in any way shape or form.

    Hey, I'm just pointing out the conclusions of the study you chose. If you don't like it, pick a different study.

    Just Google mental and/or physical issues from excessive TV, i.e. binge watching. You will find plenty of reading material.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,092 Member
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    muszyngr wrote: »
    hi that sucks, can I suggest you drink water when ever you feel hungry and maybe order light soups if you can, like war wonton or, egg soup, or hot and sour, I know you're just renting and hewk that's better than internalizing it, find a new show on Netflix and binge watch it, and do 10 jumping jacks in between the episodes, lol make a game out of it, like a drinking game, every time they argue you do sit ups, or something, you come up with it

    Binge watching IMO and is not a good recommendation. Sample comments

    Yoon Hi Sung, Eun Yeon Kang and Wei-Na Lee from the University of Texas at Austin will present their findings at the 65th Annual Conference of the International Communication Association in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The researchers conducted a survey on 316 18- to 29-year-olds on how often they watched TV; how often they had feelings of loneliness, depression and self-regulation deficiency; and finally on how often they binge-watched TV. They found that the more lonely and depressed the study participants were, the more likely they were to binge-watch TV, using this activity to move away from negative feelings.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7344932/

    https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-01/ica-fol012615.php

    Not only is correlation not causation, but the researchers here, for reasons undisclosed in this snippet, appear to believe that any causation is running the other way, and that binging is solace or even a temporary cure for negative feelings.

    Well feel free to present evidence that binge watching TV is good for one in any way shape or form.

    Hey, I'm just pointing out the conclusions of the study you chose. If you don't like it, pick a different study.

    So you have nothing. I'm good with their thoughts.

    Probably not worth trying this again -- but I was pointing out "their thoughts" from the study you offered as evidence. Your evidence does not appear to support the conclusions you are drawing from it.

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