Child-free?

Me! I spent almost all of my 20's trying for a kid. Had 2 losses and sorta gave up. I thought about adoption but I must not want it THAT bad.

I'm sort of used to it now. If I, by some miracle got pregnant, I would probably be ecstatic but again, I must not want it THAT bad since I avoid getting pregnant now.

The quiet house used to make me sad and now if I'm at my mom's house where all the nephews are, OMG I am ready to go home after a day or 2.

I like that I can get up and go. I like that I can travel whenever I want. I love that my hub and I can go to the movies at 12am if we feel like it. I LOVE that I can go out and stay out all night with my gfs for the hell of it.

We shall see if it changes. I'm getting older and I do think about that but for now, I'm ok.

you can have my 2, 3.5 and 1.5..........that will help you make up your mind, but no givesies backsies...........

You could always be a Big Sister to someone. That way you can spend time with a child who needs someone but then you don't have to take them home.

ME!

Not sure if I ever want to have them. I think I like the "idea" of having kids than the actual having kids part! People look at me crazy when I say that I am not sure if I want them and I am like WHAT? I am not the only person alive that doesn't or isn't sure if they want them!

Cheers to you and don't let others pressure you into something you don't want!

:drinker:

I am turning 30 this year. My husband and I will be celebrating our 7th anniversary. No kids yet and no plans soon. We go back and forth on it. But I completely hear you about all the reasons to not have a kid. I think if I took the opportunity off the table completely I might feel deprived of it, but I can see the possibility of us never having children. We really love our time together and we talk cautiously about all the challenges our relationship might incur from having a baby. We have a really nice thing going. One of the major incentives of having one is that I would get a full 12 months maternity leave. But that's not a definite reason to have a baby. Only time will tell.

I just like practicing making 'em. There are plans to spawn little hellions one day. Just not anytime soon.

Two of my sisters and a sister law are pregnant and all of them are scheduled to give birth this month -- my sisters on the same day. This has been the most annoying 9 months of my life!! All they talk about and status update on FB is about their pregnancies!! lol...I love them, but as the only sister without a child and just turning 29, it gets pretty old. Plus, my two younger sisters had children before me.

I would like children...someday...but one, I don't have a long-term partner, and two, I prefer my career and having my freedom and being able to travel compared to the responsibilities of motherhood. For the moment, anyway. It could change.

I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting children. Any you're right about so many children without families already.

However, as Carrie Bradshaw opined, we should have our own special 'child free' day and register for gifts somewhere too!!! ;0)

My Hubby and I have been together for about 17.5 years & married for 15.5 or so. No kids for us! We have cats instead! There have been times when we can't go do something because we can't leave the cats for too long by themselves. (couple days max.) Imagine what it would be like with kids! :sad: I'm 34 & have yet to change a diaper or even feed a child with a bottle or spoon. People think I'm nuts for never having experienced any of it, they automatically assume that since I'm female that I know how or want too! Nope, can't make me! Read this! http://articles.cnn.com/2009-02-04/living/biological.clock.broken_1_tick-new-parents-kids?_s=PM:LIVING

Only one other couple out of all of our friends don't have kids... yet. No one gets to listen to the music they want, watch the t.v. they want, watch the movies they want.(forget about going out to the movies or dinner!) No social lives at all & if they do it is centered around the kids. (nothing worse than a bunch of parents going on for HOURS about their kids - then they act like something is wrong with me for not having any :explode: ) They don't ever get to do anything for themselves or have any time for their relationship with their spouse or significant other. :huh: When I was a kid, I watched what my parents were watching & listened to the music that they listened to. Now I have a great appreciation for classical music & oldies. Same goes for classic movies & television. I spent a lot of time playing outside & I'm grateful for it! :flowerforyou: (didn't even have a game console or computer til I after I met my hubby!)

Don't even get me started on the "must be their own biological child" rant. (the extremes some people go through to have a child of their own is ridiculous!!! :mad: ) I agree completely about the adopting a child that needs a home. Only thing is to me it should be a child from whatever country your from. I'm from the USA & so I would think that if I were ever nuts enough to want a kid it would be one from here. (how can we help the world if we don't better ourselves first? - yes, another rant... I'm sure a lot of people will disagree with me! :grumble: )

In the end, I found that I have PCOS & that it would be really difficult for me to have a child anyways. Every birth control that I've ever tried makes me sick, so Hubby got a vasectomy & the world is better for us because of it. (mental illness & some other things run through both of our families as well :ohwell: )

If anybody has any concerns about how my Hubby feels, rest assured that he feels the same as I do. :smooched:

If anyone has read this far: Scariest thing ever... A week or so ago, I ran into a woman that I went to high school with. (hadn't seen her since junior year) She is a little over a year older than me, so a little over 35. She had a cute little girl with her & I asked how old her daughter was. She said "She just turned 4, but she isn't my daughter. She is my GRAND-Daughter." I was shocked to say the least!!! I mean really! That means that she had a kid around 16 & then her daughter did the same! BEYOND NUTS! Made me feel old...

It pisses me off when people ask when we are having kids - we were even asked at our wedding!

Yeah, this happened to me, and those SAME PEOPLE, when I was getting a divorce, all said, "Thankfully you two don't have any kids!"

::headdesk::

Your career sounded much like mine... until kids. If you feel that strongly about it, don't do it. Part of me still resents my first born because I feel I gave up my identity to become a Mom. And since my husband travels extensively and keeps me a kept woman... I just didn't feel right going back to traveling and leaving my little Monsters back with a Nanny.

BUT, there is no glory better than that first moment of pride for your own child.

There's SO MANY kids out there that need a loving home. So why the need to give birth?

This seems like backwards logic to me. Irresponsible people are having kids. So, the responsible people who want kids should not have kids. Rather, they should take care of the irresponsible people's kids.

Maybe... and this is just me thinking with my fingers here.... the irresponsible people should not have kids and we who want kids should be the ones who get to experience the absolute miracle of birth and raising children with our own DNA that look, and think, and behave like us because they came from our own flesh. Perhaps I'm just selfish, though.

There's SO MANY kids out there that need a loving home. So why the need to give birth?

This seems like backwards logic to me. Irresponsible people are having kids. So, the responsible people who want kids should not have kids. Rather, they should take care of the irresponsible people's kids.

Maybe... and this is just me thinking with my fingers here.... the irresponsible people should not have kids and we who want kids should be the ones who get to experience the absolute miracle of birth and raising children with our own DNA that look, and think, and behave like us because they came from our own flesh. Perhaps I'm just selfish, though.

To be fair...not all children who needs homes were born to irresponsible parents. My mom gave her first born up for adoption because her boyfriend raped her and she got pregnant. She was 21 and knew that she would not be able to raise the baby properly. So she decided to give the baby up for adoption so that she could grow up with a better life than what my mom could give her. I don't call that irresponsible at all. I realize that yes, there are many people who have babies and shouldn't but there are just as many who are not irresponsible people and have babies as well.

To the original question, I'm 31 and my husband will be 38 in November. We've been together for 13 years and married 1. We don't have kids yet either. We both want kids and I am okay with having a baby now (I don't believe that anyone is ever fully READY to have a kid) but my husband is not. Yes I worry about our ages and being older when we have kids but until my husband says he's okay with it too, it's not happening. I will say though he better be okay with it soon because otherwise he's going to be the one that had to worry about having kids at an old age! lol

I have two kids - 8 and 6 now. Of course I love my kids, and I wouldn't trade having them.

However...

It's hard. And when my ex left, and I became a single mom, it was even harder.

Children change your marriage. Period. I was pressured to have children by EVERYONE. My ex's grandmother once told me I wouldn't be a "whole, complete woman" unless I had kids. Wow.

I love kids, don't get me wrong, and I would cut someone if they hurt one of mine.

But because you brought it up...don't have kids for anyone other than yourself. Your whole world changes, and sometimes not in good ways. It's HARD. And expensive....so very, very expensive.

Do what is right for your marriage. Children don't "fulfill" you. Nor should they. You should find fulfillment in simply living, which it sounds like you have done.

Oops...multiple post. sorry!