Will I ever be happy?

alaw1119
alaw1119 Posts: 68 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
OK so I started weight watchers last september at 165lbs. I'm 5' 4.5. So I have been overweight my whole life. I always said I'd be happy at 130lbs so that was my first goal when I started weight watchers. Well when I got to 130 I wasn't happy. I changed my goal to 125. I reached 125 and I still wasn't happy. I have been working with a trainer since may and my body fat % has gone from 21.7 to 17.4. I should be happy right?! I have gotten down to 118.4 [which weight watchers says I shouldn't weigh below 120] and I am just starting to think that I'm never going to be happy with my body. I look in the mirror and all I can think about is how I need to lose more weight or tone up. I don't even know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions?

Replies

  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    maybe you should talk to a therapist? if you're skinnier than recommended and you still have problems with your weight, or your way of thinking, maybe talking to someone would help? i think you're beautiful!
  • barbiex3
    barbiex3 Posts: 1,036 Member
    sad =[ i know the feeling. i was unhappy when i was at 13% body fat which is unhealthy. maybe because weight loss is such a huge part of your life you feel like you cant stop. someone told me to find other goals besides losing weight. i'm back up to a healther weight now. try not to focus on dit/exercise so much.. there is way more to life!
  • Loko_Ino
    Loko_Ino Posts: 544 Member
    therapy time.
  • scott1024
    scott1024 Posts: 279 Member
    Intervention.
  • trilikeagirl
    trilikeagirl Posts: 218
    Your problem is not on the outside. :flowerforyou:
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
    I think many of us believe getting to the right weight/meeting the right person/buying the right car/landing the right job will finally make us happy.

    Unfortunately, it rarely works that way. It sounds like your internal state of mind isn't related to your weight... and agree with other posters. You may find speaking with someone can help you find the root of the unhappiness. No amount of kudos will help if you're not happy from the inside out. (Although, it sounds like you've done a great job and look awesome!)
  • AnaNotBanana
    AnaNotBanana Posts: 963 Member
    I agree with everyone else. Your weight is obviously not the root of your problem. You should speak with someone regarding this issue.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    The unhappiness you're feeling isn't based on your weight. I would definitely talk to a therapist about this. Continuing to lose weight to try and find happiness isn't healthy. Good Luck to you.
  • kwamgee
    kwamgee Posts: 35
    I think many of us believe getting to the right weight/meeting the right person/buying the right car/landing the right job will finally make us happy.

    Unfortunately, it rarely works that way. It sounds like your internal state of mind isn't related to your weight... and agree with other posters. You may find speaking with someone can help you find the root of the unhappiness. No amount of kudos will help if you're not happy from the inside out. (Although, it sounds like you've done a great job and look awesome!)

    I completely agree... to experience true happiness it should come from within you. When the heart and the mind are in harmony then true happiness can really begin. Happiness that comes from outside is usually temporary and falls back into nothingness rather quickly.
  • Circa1964
    Circa1964 Posts: 225 Member
    First of all, congratulations for having the will-power and determination to meet your goals. At least you can see the obvious and realize that something is wrong. The others on here are stating the obvious. I wonder if you are looking for perfection. Also realize that the images in magazines and on TV have mostly been modified and those images aren't how most people look. Try not to strive for perfection. That is a hard goal to live up to.
  • mrivera713
    mrivera713 Posts: 232 Member
    can't answer now, running to the gym.... BUMP....
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
    Happiness is a state of mind, not a number on the scales or a reflection in a mirror.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Everything starts within. Look at WHO are as a person, love and accept that, change if you choose you don't like an Aspect of yourself. Remember, rarely is it that you will be remembered for How you look.
  • geekymom57
    geekymom57 Posts: 176 Member
    I reached 125 and I still wasn't happy. I have been working with a trainer since may and my body fat % has gone from 21.7 to 17.4. I should be happy right?! I have gotten down to 118.4 [which weight watchers says I shouldn't weigh below 120] and I am just starting to think that I'm never going to be happy with my body. I look in the mirror and all I can think about is how I need to lose more weight or tone up. I don't even know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions?
    I think you have made an important realization that your weight is not the key to whether you are happy or not. As others have posted, it may be useful to work with a therapist, and perhaps with someone who has experience working with anorexics or others with eating disorders that involve body dysmorphia.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    OK so I started weight watchers last september at 165lbs. I'm 5' 4.5. So I have been overweight my whole life. I always said I'd be happy at 130lbs so that was my first goal when I started weight watchers. Well when I got to 130 I wasn't happy. I changed my goal to 125. I reached 125 and I still wasn't happy. I have been working with a trainer since may and my body fat % has gone from 21.7 to 17.4. I should be happy right?! I have gotten down to 118.4 [which weight watchers says I shouldn't weigh below 120] and I am just starting to think that I'm never going to be happy with my body. I look in the mirror and all I can think about is how I need to lose more weight or tone up. I don't even know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions?

    Happiness in this sense is something deeper...You are talking about JOY. It has NOTHING to do with weight (your weight) Happiness is very shallow and has to do with any particular HAPPENING, ie, you set a goal of 130 lbs. and when you reached it you SHOULD have been HAPPY because the HAPPENING took place. BUT since you were NOT happy, and can not get happy, you are seeking JOY (Which is MUCH more Important and does NOT depend on some arbitrary or planned happening. JOY is an Everyday-No matter what is going on, deep feeling and sense of wholeness/wellness/fulfillment/satisfaction/pleasure/well-being... This type of SENSE is deep, and Spiritual, it IS A CHOICE, a Daily, hourly, minute-by-minute CHOICE we make. Like self-confidence or self esteem, WE have to WORK at/on it.

    The scriptures say that JOY is a Gift of the Spirit...but like all of the Gifts (Love, Patience, Peace, Kindness, Gentleness, Self Control) WE have to WORK at it...It is the RESULT of EFFORT/WORK, the RESULT of the WORK is the GIFT! So if you want JOY/Happiness that is abiding/deep/real you will have to work at it, commit to it Daily, even minute-by-minute. If this is what you desire, then commit to it just like you did your weight loss, CLEARLY JOY is FAR more important than losing 10 extra pounds and feeling empty inside. I know, I am working on JOY and PEACE right now, and it's coming along just fine.

    Be Well
  • TNAJackson
    TNAJackson Posts: 686 Member
    Your problem is not on the outside. :flowerforyou:

    Yep!
  • sarah307
    sarah307 Posts: 1,363 Member
    i know everyone else is saying this but i just had to comment because i can relate

    yesterday i said to my therapist... "no matter what state of perfection i try to reach... in the end, i am still the exact same person, with the exact same problems... "
  • MARI1010
    MARI1010 Posts: 76 Member
    Everyones right. i can totally relate to what youre going through. Back when i was in my teens i was absolutely obssesed with my image. i was an overweight child and was raised basically with the mind frame that thats the way i would be my whole life. i was determined to prove everyone wrong. i pretty much starved myaself, worked out til i literally felt like passing out. i lost alot of weight and met every weight goal i set for myself. At first my goals were reasonable but then they became unhealthy. i started looking and getting sick alot. People would then point out i had lost too much and i didnt look good. But for such a long time i was soo focused on loosing loosing loosing that i didnt know what else to do. I didnt know how to just live life and maintain my weight. It was either my main focus or it wasnt and then id loose weight. I knew i had lost alot of weight but i saw the left overs of a once fat person and i wanted to remove every trace of it. It harder to change our mind frame even than it is our body. I hope you find the balance you look gorgeous.

Categories