Guys/Girls: What is your real opinion on..

Guys/Gals: What is the best musical genre and why?

Yoshiboobs wrote: »

KosmosKitten wrote: »

Related questions:

• Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
• Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
• Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.

All the bathroom stuff, medical stuff and bondage is a hard pass. No.

A guy liked to lick my armpits and that was pretty weird.

Who knows?

You know, just when I think I've learned all the fetishes or sexual interests there are out there.. something just comes randomly out of left field and shatters that illusion.

sweet_ermengarde wrote: »

KosmosKitten wrote: »

slimgirljo15 wrote: »

KosmosKitten wrote: »

Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).

• How do you respond?
• Is it a deal breaker?
• Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
• If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?

Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.

If it's not enjoyable for me and he really wants and needs that fetish.. then yeah, I'd end it, it would be unfair to both of us otherwise.
But Id try most things once, so within reason I'd give it a go

How does a person know if they need a particular kink or fetish vs. wanting it? I have quite a few and while I'd really like to engage in all of them 100% of the time, none of them are essential for living. I can still engage in a really good time without them, although if any particular kink/fetish came up, it would probably qualify as a phenomenal time.

I guess I'm asking: where is the line between compromising your wants and desires in this regard vs. an actual need that keeps a person from enjoying life with a person? In my experience, no person I've been with who had kinks actually *needed* them for the relationship to continue. They were just a bonus. Some were more extreme interests, too.

I do agree with you, though. Just curious and picking the collective brains of Chit-Chat because it fascinates me.

i wouldn’t want to be in relationship that didn’t do the thing i like. its just a big deal to me. but maybe some things are small fun and other things like change the entire dynamic all the time

and me tryin to stay out of moderator trouble talking bout this stuff like

You and me both. That's why I don't mention what interests me.

I think the willingness to try them (if you are able) is more important to me than whether you (as my hypothetical partner) like the same things I do. I can't expect everyone to have the same interests as I do and if it *is* something I developed over the course of a long relationship with someone and didn't come into the relationship knowing I liked, I would be more understanding of the hesitancy or unwillingness to participate depending on whatever it happens to be.

Personally, I'm pretty upfront about most of my interests *if* asked or *if* we get to the intimate stage. Just seems like something you would want your partner(s) to be aware of.

In the case of the particular subreddit, it was a male asking if females would be willing to date a person if they were upfront about their interest in cross-dressing (as in, he already had an established interest and financial investment in it). Most women said no and gave their reasoning why, but a few surprised me by saying that it wasn't a deal-breaker and that depending on how deep the rabbit hole went, they'd give it a shot.

It just got me thinking since that was not a particular thing that has appeared in any of my relationships (yet, anyway).

P.S. Moderators, I love you. Please don't put me in jail.

hawkeye45_ wrote: »

A follow-up to the previous discussion.

If your partner discovered something that they enjoyed and wanted to try (within the bounds of not harming others), and it was not for you, would you consider an open relationship so they can get that itch scratched? Why or why not? (I left out the word "illegal" here because, in some states, any position other than missionary is illegal.)

no bc i get jealous and i’m possessive and all my insecurity would come out and i’d listen to sad music all the time and cry a bunch

hawkeye45_ wrote: »

A follow-up to the previous discussion.

If your partner discovered something that they enjoyed and wanted to try (within the bounds of not harming others), and it was not for you, would you consider an open relationship so they can get that itch scratched? Why or why not? (I left out the word "illegal" here because, in some states, any position other than missionary is illegal.)

Yes. Open relationships don't bother me if the established bond I have with an individual is strong. If they can be fulfilled with another person for that particular interest, I say go for it so long as they are safe, don't bring home diseases (to me) and aren't engaging in anything that can get them in trouble legally or isn't consensual. Especially if everything else in our relationship is in line and going great, I don't see why I would deny them.

iMago wrote: »

and i figure itd be easier to leave.

It may not be easier to leave, if this is an established "shared bank accounts" relationship or even a marriage.

KosmosKitten wrote: »

Guys/Gals: What is the best musical genre and why?

probably sad music

sweet_ermengarde wrote: »

KosmosKitten wrote: »

Guys/Gals: What is the best musical genre and why?

probably sad music

*kitten* yassssssss

KosmosKitten wrote: »

slimgirljo15 wrote: »

KosmosKitten wrote: »

Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).

• How do you respond?
• Is it a deal breaker?
• Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
• If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?

Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.

If it's not enjoyable for me and he really wants and needs that fetish.. then yeah, I'd end it, it would be unfair to both of us otherwise.
But Id try most things once, so within reason I'd give it a go

How does a person know if they need a particular kink or fetish vs. wanting it? I have quite a few and while I'd really like to engage in all of them 100% of the time, none of them are essential for living. I can still engage in a really good time without them, although if any particular kink/fetish came up, it would probably qualify as a phenomenal time.

I guess I'm asking: where is the line between compromising your wants and desires in this regard vs. an actual need that keeps a person from enjoying life with a person? In my experience, no person I've been with who had kinks actually *needed* them for the relationship to continue. They were just a bonus. Some were more extreme interests, too.

I do agree with you, though. Just curious and picking the collective brains of Chit-Chat because it fascinates me.

Stuff where it's "need" level: I don't do romantic relationships where I'm not in control. Period. I don't do sex without being in control. I LIKE to also inflict a little pain, and maybe be a little bit of not-at-all-nice, but that's the whipped cream and cherry. But I don't submit to anyone but my gods. And it wouldn't work for me to not be in charge outside the bedroom too. I have partners who like someone else taking charge, and they support me in it, and so it works for the three of us. Having lived this way, I would never go back to pretending he's in charge, pretending I like it that way, and generally faking being a vanilla woman romantically. Nope.

As to the things like the whips and canes in the chest at the foot of the bed... we don't much get them out. Haven't done that for months because he's been dealing with PTSD and he doesn't want to play that way. I can live without it. I can live without the kink community and the fun that that opens up.

But the way I feel when I'm waking my girlfriend up to take her medication on time, the way I feel when I look at my pantry or his nicely organized closet, and the way I feel when either of them says, "It's okay. I know whatever happens I'll be taken care of,".... ah, that, that's not optional. I don't want to live without that.