Unsupportive Spouse

Have you considered seeing a counselor together? Doesn't sound like a diet issue to me, but marriage/communication issues. From personal experience, seeing a counselor can do wonders for a marriage!

Don't let him get you down just keep on doing your thing! I have one of those also but he doesn't need to diet but complains about my weight constantly! Then when I'm doing well on a diet he is always the first person who tries to sabotage me and tries to get me to eat out or have drinks. So not supportive so you are not alone. Just keep fighting the good fight for yourself.

I understand sweetie.... my hubby is similar. I don't really have any advice so to speak, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. He never encourages me, tells me he is proud of me, etc... Tonight he asked me why I spend 2 hours at the gym since when I work out at home it only takes me an hour. Well... the elliptical at the gym has a fan blowing on me, A/C and a TV on it... my elliptical at home is in a hot garage with no circulation or TV.... which do you pick?! Geez... thanks for the encouragement babe! Ugh. I don't get why he can't just be proud of me for trying to lose this weight. I know he wants me to so it really blows my mind. We have a 2 year old and he acts like it's just the biggest inconvenience when I want to go to the gym after work because he will have to watch our son for a little while. He also acts like he knows anything and everything about losing weight. He hates sweets, chocolate, ice cream, etc and tells me I just need to not EVER buy any of it so it's not in the house as a temptation. I get what he's saying, but he doesn't understand where I'm coming from. If I completely deprive myself of something, it will just make me want it more and I'm more likely to pig out on it later. That's why I buy "healthier" versions of the things I love, like Skinny Cow candy and ice cream bars. I just don't know. I'm sorry you're having to go through all that.

How frustrating! I obviously don't know the dynamics of your relationship, but it sounds a bit as if he is using a passive-aggressive approach to try to influence your choices. If doesn't want to eat within the guidelines that's his choice, but your food choices shouldn't be controlled by his actions. My husband doesn't deliberately sabotage my efforts, but since he is retired and I work full-time, he does prepare dinner most week-nights. I don't ban him from making certain foods (he loves brats, for example) but I do limit what I consume. I'll cut a brat in half, weigh it, take a half a bun, etc., not to be dramatic but to stay within my calories.

Maybe if you have a heart to heart conversation and agree that your choices are not conditional on one another's choice, and then set some expectations for shared meals, you could get remove some of the emotional battle that seems to be going on. Ultimately, it's your choice, not his, what you eat, so don't give him the power to think that you can't succeed without his cooperation. It would be nice, and as a spouse, he should want you to do well, but if he can't do that right now, then you have to decide to do it for yourself and possibly by yourself.

It may be a confidence thing for him. He may be worried that if you get, in his mind, 'too good looking' you may get attention that you perhaps previously haven't got and you will enjoy it more than you enjoy him. My other half is very supportive, but he does get insecure about the attention (limited as it is) that I get.

Maybe you just need to reassure him that even if you get the attention from every bloke on the planet, it's him you love and you're not interested in the attention.

It's just a thought, but hopefully it may help.

Ladies dont get down on yourself! If your men throw a temper tantrum because they dont like the food within your calories who cares?? Let him pout and eat what he wants. Keep your focus on feeling & looking great, you deserve it!