Combatting Stress Eating

Still on my typical yo-yo, but trying to figure out how to combat it for a lifetime. I’m reaching out for suggestions and help with working through stress eating. The stress is likely not to go away any time soon. Maybe a better coping mechanism?

I’ve tried a lot of different paths, and am aware of the problem. I just don’t know how to effectively overcome it.

Please help!

Tim

Replies

  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    What coping methods have you tried? And why do you think they didn't work? Distraction is generally the first thing to do but I'd be interested to hear what you've already tried so that different ideas can be suggested.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,126 Member
    Maybe a better coping mechanism?

    There's no "Maybe" that's the only thing that's going to work long term.

    Without coming across as too nosy, what sort of stress are we talking - work, general life, family, health?
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    Not a lot of info to go on.

    You are going to have to recognize your triggers, and replace the coping mechanism with something else.
  • lemurcat2
    lemurcat2 Posts: 7,885 Member
    More specifics would be helpful.

    This is an issue for me too, and basically being as aware and mindful of it as possible is what works for me. Thinking through my impulses and identifying it as a reaction to stress. Journaling was helpful, but I realize that won't appeal to all.
  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
    Well a man that’s a customer he buys his deli meats and cheeses in quarter pound portions as well as salads ( Amish Mac, chicken salad, potato salad etc) that way he won’t overeat it he can’t eat something that isn’t there as he put it he’d have to go back to. And perhaps if you feel this way have two glasses of water and get you some fun teas to drink ( makes it more appealing to me) there’s a lot of flavors and 0 calories. Like peach ginger, chai, lemon verbena, licorice, there’s even some with chocolate, mulled cider, orange and even berries! I have started to do this when I urge to snack and it helps.
  • BZAH10 wrote: »
    What coping methods have you tried? And why do you think they didn't work? Distraction is generally the first thing to do but I'd be interested to hear what you've already tried so that different ideas can be suggested.

    Mainly tried controlling the eating. Besides that, meditation, journaling, yoga, lifting, etc to help with stress relief.

  • Maybe a better coping mechanism?

    There's no "Maybe" that's the only thing that's going to work long term.

    Without coming across as too nosy, what sort of stress are we talking - work, general life, family, health?

    Basically all of the above. Work needs to change, but currently can’t, family, kids, building a house, my health is the sacrifice.

  • Not a lot of info to go on.

    You are going to have to recognize your triggers, and replace the coping mechanism with something else.

    I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out. Stressful situations, boredom, anger, headaches all trigger me to go find a snack. I’m not sure what other immediate type options there are? That’s typically the issue. Spur of the moment type stuff.

  • Well a man that’s a customer he buys his deli meats and cheeses in quarter pound portions as well as salads ( Amish Mac, chicken salad, potato salad etc) that way he won’t overeat it he can’t eat something that isn’t there as he put it he’d have to go back to. And perhaps if you feel this way have two glasses of water and get you some fun teas to drink ( makes it more appealing to me) there’s a lot of flavors and 0 calories. Like peach ginger, chai, lemon verbena, licorice, there’s even some with chocolate, mulled cider, orange and even berries! I have started to do this when I urge to snack and it helps.

    I know i could do that, but I also try to have options available for the other family members. They don’t have the food issues and will only eat when hungry. Kind of their natural emotion towards food is not like mine.

  • This has been a significant source of trouble for me and even though I would like to say that this will go away, I think it is something I will always have to keep an eye on.

    Yes, food is often used as a way to comfort oneself in times of stress and of course, there are other ways to cope with stress other than eating. However, many of us have turned to food as a source of comfort and it's not easy to break these habits, so until a new coping mechanism is replaced and turned to as frequently as turning to food had been, there will always be a signal to cope with what's familiar. This is what makes new habits difficult to stick to but also why it's so important to begin practicing a new coping strategy because it takes time to adhere.

    Distractions may work temporarily but I think there are two things to work on immediately. First, identify the source of the stress and try to resolve it. I know that this isn't easy, but maybe there is something that can be done to eliminate what is causing so much of a burden. Also, make sure to sleep well and drink an adequate amount of water. As I'm sure you're aware, be sure to get a sufficient diet! If you're not eating enough and are not properly fueling your body, you're going to be more prone to overeat when given the opportunity.

    So my advice: 1) find out the source of the stress and try to alleviate it, 2) begin a new coping strategy that you haven't tried and keep trying to find one that works for you. Once you do, use it as often as you can and replace your habit of eating to fill the void. 3) Sleep well, drink enough water, and eat nutritious foods that satiate you.

    Finally, consider seeing a therapist to help you work on your relationship with food.

    I’m definitely on the same page.

    1. I definitely know the stressors and triggers, but aren’t really able to change them. Building a house with a deadline, financial worries, kids, work sucks and I can’t change it because I wouldn’t be able to get the mortgage when the house is done, etc etc. it goes on into my entire life story haha.
    2. I’m not sure how to best go about finding new habits and putting them to lasting results.
    3. Support system is basically non existent besides my wife and she can only do / be so much. Don’t even know how to change that.
    4. Therapy is not an option due to finances at the moment.
  • Thank you all for the care to respond btw. Means a lot! :)
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    What coping methods have you tried? And why do you think they didn't work? Distraction is generally the first thing to do but I'd be interested to hear what you've already tried so that different ideas can be suggested.

    Mainly tried controlling the eating. Besides that, meditation, journaling, yoga, lifting, etc to help with stress relief.

    Are you lifting regularly and getting the yoga or other forms of exercise on the non-lifting days? These are great tools - wanted to make sure you are actually using them regularly as I have struggled with turning tools into habits.

    Also want to make sure you are getting enough protein and fiber (or whatever satiates you) - when I am low on protein and am stressed I can eat and eat and eat snacky foods and never feel satisfied.

    Under ordinary circumstances, regular exercise helps tremendously with my mental health, and I increase exercise for times of increased stress. But this year has been extraordinarily challenging.

    Before I go into my whole mental health journey for this year I wanted to make sure you have the above dialed in.
  • kshama2001 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    What coping methods have you tried? And why do you think they didn't work? Distraction is generally the first thing to do but I'd be interested to hear what you've already tried so that different ideas can be suggested.

    Mainly tried controlling the eating. Besides that, meditation, journaling, yoga, lifting, etc to help with stress relief.

    Are you lifting regularly and getting the yoga or other forms of exercise on the non-lifting days? These are great tools - wanted to make sure you are actually using them regularly as I have struggled with turning tools into habits.

    Also want to make sure you are getting enough protein and fiber (or whatever satiates you) - when I am low on protein and am stressed I can eat and eat and eat snacky foods and never feel satisfied.

    Under ordinary circumstances, regular exercise helps tremendously with my mental health, and I increase exercise for times of increased stress. But this year has been extraordinarily challenging.

    Before I go into my whole mental health journey for this year I wanted to make sure you have the above dialed in.

    Short answer is no. I used to have a bit of a routine, but the house build, moving, actually doing the construction work myself evenings and weekends has torn a big hole in even being able to have a routine.

    The protein and fiber is a great point. My problem is with less time I think less about food so I grab crap a lot. I do need to refocus my choices for sure.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    What coping methods have you tried? And why do you think they didn't work? Distraction is generally the first thing to do but I'd be interested to hear what you've already tried so that different ideas can be suggested.

    Mainly tried controlling the eating. Besides that, meditation, journaling, yoga, lifting, etc to help with stress relief.

    Are you lifting regularly and getting the yoga or other forms of exercise on the non-lifting days? These are great tools - wanted to make sure you are actually using them regularly as I have struggled with turning tools into habits.

    Also want to make sure you are getting enough protein and fiber (or whatever satiates you) - when I am low on protein and am stressed I can eat and eat and eat snacky foods and never feel satisfied.

    Under ordinary circumstances, regular exercise helps tremendously with my mental health, and I increase exercise for times of increased stress. But this year has been extraordinarily challenging.

    Before I go into my whole mental health journey for this year I wanted to make sure you have the above dialed in.

    Short answer is no. I used to have a bit of a routine, but the house build, moving, actually doing the construction work myself evenings and weekends has torn a big hole in even being able to have a routine.

    The protein and fiber is a great point. My problem is with less time I think less about food so I grab crap a lot. I do need to refocus my choices for sure.

    Ok, if you are doing the construction you are getting plenty of exercise :)

    Do see if getting more protein and fiber helps. Fiber is not in the default settings but you can swap out something like Sodium or Sugar for it.

    I feel fuller on 500 calories of chicken, potato, broccoli and butter than I do with 1000 calories of pizza.
  • kshama2001 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    What coping methods have you tried? And why do you think they didn't work? Distraction is generally the first thing to do but I'd be interested to hear what you've already tried so that different ideas can be suggested.

    Mainly tried controlling the eating. Besides that, meditation, journaling, yoga, lifting, etc to help with stress relief.

    Are you lifting regularly and getting the yoga or other forms of exercise on the non-lifting days? These are great tools - wanted to make sure you are actually using them regularly as I have struggled with turning tools into habits.

    Also want to make sure you are getting enough protein and fiber (or whatever satiates you) - when I am low on protein and am stressed I can eat and eat and eat snacky foods and never feel satisfied.

    Under ordinary circumstances, regular exercise helps tremendously with my mental health, and I increase exercise for times of increased stress. But this year has been extraordinarily challenging.

    Before I go into my whole mental health journey for this year I wanted to make sure you have the above dialed in.

    Short answer is no. I used to have a bit of a routine, but the house build, moving, actually doing the construction work myself evenings and weekends has torn a big hole in even being able to have a routine.

    The protein and fiber is a great point. My problem is with less time I think less about food so I grab crap a lot. I do need to refocus my choices for sure.

    Ok, if you are doing the construction you are getting plenty of exercise :)

    Do see if getting more protein and fiber helps. Fiber is not in the default settings but you can swap out something like Sodium or Sugar for it.

    I feel fuller on 500 calories of chicken, potato, broccoli and butter than I do with 1000 calories of pizza.

    Definitely agree with that. I can start back there without issue.

    Besides that, I’m trying to figure out a lasting way to make food food and not a coping mechanism.
  • __TMac__
    __TMac__ Posts: 1,669 Member
    I’m fighting a similar battle. Lots of changes at work and home, most of them scary and overwhelming. I’m spending most days with my heart racing and stomach hurting.

    At the moment, I’m finding some success in taking walks. Every day, sometimes more than one, and usually alone. Even better if it’s raining or cold. It seems to provide an escape that’s healthier than drowning myself in food and TV.

    When I can’t walk or really need to stay indoors, I’m making sure to keep lots of fruit and veg around. At least then, if I eat, it’s something my body could make good use of. I can only eat so many oranges or carrots.

    The last strategy is on the stress-reduction side: noise cancelling headphones with new agey music or rain sounds. The sensory deprivation seems to keep me from spinning up, and the soothing sounds lower my blood pressure a bit. I love my kids, but when I’m on the road to rage town, I have to block them out. For their good and mine.

    I feel for you.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    What coping methods have you tried? And why do you think they didn't work? Distraction is generally the first thing to do but I'd be interested to hear what you've already tried so that different ideas can be suggested.

    Mainly tried controlling the eating. Besides that, meditation, journaling, yoga, lifting, etc to help with stress relief.

    Are you lifting regularly and getting the yoga or other forms of exercise on the non-lifting days? These are great tools - wanted to make sure you are actually using them regularly as I have struggled with turning tools into habits.

    Also want to make sure you are getting enough protein and fiber (or whatever satiates you) - when I am low on protein and am stressed I can eat and eat and eat snacky foods and never feel satisfied.

    Under ordinary circumstances, regular exercise helps tremendously with my mental health, and I increase exercise for times of increased stress. But this year has been extraordinarily challenging.

    Before I go into my whole mental health journey for this year I wanted to make sure you have the above dialed in.

    Short answer is no. I used to have a bit of a routine, but the house build, moving, actually doing the construction work myself evenings and weekends has torn a big hole in even being able to have a routine.

    The protein and fiber is a great point. My problem is with less time I think less about food so I grab crap a lot. I do need to refocus my choices for sure.

    Ok, if you are doing the construction you are getting plenty of exercise :)

    Do see if getting more protein and fiber helps. Fiber is not in the default settings but you can swap out something like Sodium or Sugar for it.

    I feel fuller on 500 calories of chicken, potato, broccoli and butter than I do with 1000 calories of pizza.

    Definitely agree with that. I can start back there without issue.

    Besides that, I’m trying to figure out a lasting way to make food food and not a coping mechanism.

    I'm doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and therapy therapy, which you said is not an option for you at this time.

    This book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for overeating was available in my library system, so perhaps yours as well, if you'd like to check it out before buying it.

    Disclaimer - I did buy the book, looks great, but I'm not good with self study so haven't gotten very far.

    I wanted to attach a few CBT worksheets from my therapist but am unable to attach pdfs. If you are interested, I can see if I can find links for these.

    The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person

    Can thinking and eating like a thin person be learned, similar to learning to drive or use a computer? Beck (Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems) contends so, based on decades of work with patients who have lost pounds and maintained weight through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Beck's six-week program adapts CBT, a therapeutic system developed by Beck's father, Aaron, in the 1960s, to specific challenges faced by yo-yo dieters, including negative thinking, bargaining, emotional eating, bingeing, and eating out. Beck counsels readers day-by-day, introducing new elements (creating advantage response cards, choosing a diet, enlisting a diet coach, making a weight-loss graph) progressively and offering tools to help readers stay focused (writing exercises, to-do lists, ways to counter negative thoughts). There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if readers learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach. (Apr.)
  • __TMac__ wrote: »
    I’m fighting a similar battle. Lots of changes at work and home, most of them scary and overwhelming. I’m spending most days with my heart racing and stomach hurting.

    At the moment, I’m finding some success in taking walks. Every day, sometimes more than one, and usually alone. Even better if it’s raining or cold. It seems to provide an escape that’s healthier than drowning myself in food and TV.

    When I can’t walk or really need to stay indoors, I’m making sure to keep lots of fruit and veg around. At least then, if I eat, it’s something my body could make good use of. I can only eat so many oranges or carrots.

    The last strategy is on the stress-reduction side: noise cancelling headphones with new agey music or rain sounds. The sensory deprivation seems to keep me from spinning up, and the soothing sounds lower my blood pressure a bit. I love my kids, but when I’m on the road to rage town, I have to block them out. For their good and mine.

    I feel for you.

    Yyeessss!!! I absolutely understand that. I keep my headphones with me all the time. I just have iPhone ones so I just turn it up enough I can’t really hear anything else.

    Standing in the shower so the noise of the water drowns everything out.

    I recently started taking longer walks by myself with our new dog. Just to get away and calm everything as best I can.

    I really do need to focus on having better veg food around. My issue sometimes is I can polish off an entire bag of grapes when the mood hits be right. I don’t seem to have a “I’m full” limit when I’m stressed so much.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,126 Member
    Maybe a better coping mechanism?

    There's no "Maybe" that's the only thing that's going to work long term.

    Without coming across as too nosy, what sort of stress are we talking - work, general life, family, health?

    Basically all of the above. Work needs to change, but currently can’t, family, kids, building a house, my health is the sacrifice.

    Health is the worst thing you can sacrifice, it makes everything else harder to handle. You can't look after everyone else if you're not looking after yourself

    Workwise is there anyone you can delegate things to or is it possible to discuss workload with your line manager. Even if you can't stop the stress entirely, perhaps you can look at ways of reducing it.

    Do you have anyone other than your wife that you can talk to? The old adage "A problem shared is a problem halved" sometimes just being able to rant at a friend who's not as involved in what's stressing you can help.

    Do you have medical insurance through work, you might find that they offer a phone counselling service or cover costs of some therapies. There are also free services in some areas.

    Meditation has been very helpful for me, I use the Calm app regularly - they have made some of their stuff free since You Know What kicked off, it's available on their web blog.

    I also put little signs up on my kitchem cupboards and fridge that say "Food is fuel, not medication".

    I supplement Magnesium & Vitamin D to combat the Winter Blues and try to make an effort to do at least 30 mins of exercise a day, even if it's just a walk on my lunch hour.

    I listen to humourous audio books on my work commute, because laughter is the best medicine.

    If you look up Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, you really do need to look after the basics first - sleep, hydration and eating adequately, if you're not doing that you will struggle with the rest.
  • NovusDies wrote: »
    One of the problems you face is that in the short term denying the habit fulfillment, even if it is a known maladaptive coping strategy, is unpleasant and stressful. When you satisfy the habit your brain is relieved which makes that little bit of stress go away. That reinforces the bigger lie that food is relieving stress. Eating cannot relieve stress if it is causing you stress which it obviously is which is why you are asking.

    One of the places to start is relieving some of your stress. I know you think it is not possible but I am quite sure you are focused on the big ticket items and you are overlooking smaller potential wins. Stress is cumulative. Any amount you reduce is helpful. Look for anything that you find frustrating. If it takes you 10 minutes 4 days a week to locate your keys that is an annoyance and an easy thing to fix. We had a horrible basket system for my dog's leash. I took a few moments to hang a hook and my life was ever so slightly better. I am willing to bet if you paid attention you would find a number of things.

    That is some fantastic advice. Thank you!
  • briscogun
    briscogun Posts: 1,138 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    What coping methods have you tried? And why do you think they didn't work? Distraction is generally the first thing to do but I'd be interested to hear what you've already tried so that different ideas can be suggested.

    Mainly tried controlling the eating. Besides that, meditation, journaling, yoga, lifting, etc to help with stress relief.

    Are you lifting regularly and getting the yoga or other forms of exercise on the non-lifting days? These are great tools - wanted to make sure you are actually using them regularly as I have struggled with turning tools into habits.

    Also want to make sure you are getting enough protein and fiber (or whatever satiates you) - when I am low on protein and am stressed I can eat and eat and eat snacky foods and never feel satisfied.

    Under ordinary circumstances, regular exercise helps tremendously with my mental health, and I increase exercise for times of increased stress. But this year has been extraordinarily challenging.

    Before I go into my whole mental health journey for this year I wanted to make sure you have the above dialed in.
    My problem is with less time I think less about food so I grab crap a lot. I do need to refocus my choices for sure.

    I think you may have answered your own question.

    So is there a way you can prepare your meals in advance so you aren't having to grab crap on the go? If you know you are going to be crazy, bring a lunch or meal(s) with you, keep them in a cooler or small fridge at work? Then when your schedule is goofy or gets thrown out of whack you have food and snacks ready that fit into your goals.

    I have really long days at work and my meals can be hit and miss, so I bring in food every day (lunch, snacks, even dinners sometimes) so I don't go off the rails.

    Everyone has issues, challenges, obstacles, whatever, along their journey. None of us are in an ideal setting with no stress, issues, etc. It's just how we cope with them. If you want it bad enough you work through it.

    Good luck!
  • katiemcm1125
    katiemcm1125 Posts: 26 Member
    Therapy has helped me a lot.
  • Butterfly_Ninja3
    Butterfly_Ninja3 Posts: 32 Member
    Everyone has such good advice! Of course there is never a one size fits all when it comes to mindless/stressful eating. I view food much different than my parents and brothers for sure! They eat to fuel their bodies. I eat because it gives me PLEASURE and SATISFACTION and um... it tastes delicious! I can't just pick up a PB&J and say Mmmmm that was great fuel! I wish I could. I would love to be at the point some time! Changing my mindset is what needs to happen, but easier said than done. What I personally do is make sure I have snacks/meals prepped ahead of time to make sure I DON'T overeat or just in general EAT CRAP! I drink a glass or 2 of water before I eat so my stomach isn't so empty when I start eating. After I drink the water, I make sure I'm SITTING DOWN to eat and I eat slowly. I chew slower. I put my fork/spoon down after each bite so I am not scooping up the next bite so fast. Aside from that (which btw helps me a LOT) I will journal what is going on that day. I write my feelings down. I have YEARS of journaling and believe it or not, the fact that I can look back and see what triggered my binge/stress eating has helped me to avoid doing it that way again! The biggest thing I've learned (for me personally) is that MEAL PREPPING, SITTING DOWN TO EAT, DRINKING A GLASS OR TWO OF WATER BEFORE YOUR MEAL, CHEWING SLOWLY, SETTING YOUR FORK/SPOON DOWN WHEN YOU EAT AND JOURNALING helped me WAY more than anything else I have tried. It truly is a mind over matter issue with me. I HAVE to control it, or it will control me. What you are doing... .going for a walk with your dog, that is good too! Your stress level must be unreal with all you have going on... I feel for you! Just breathe.... You have a LOT on your plate right now and honestly, your health will suffer if you don't relax more and try not to take so much on at once. Your body is under stress and I'm sure you know that isn't good for your overall health. The last thing you need is an ulcer, or a stroke/heart attack because you are wearing yourself thin. Taking some time with your dog, your headphones listening to music and relaxing while doing it is a good idea. You got this! Just take time to think about what you can do the day before... like at night time... take a few minutes to pack your lunch/snacks ahead of time. I do believe that will help you! GOOD LUCK!!!!
  • KealoloSue
    KealoloSue Posts: 16 Member
    edited November 2020
    Tim, would it work for you to buy yourself a small refrigerator that is just for you? Buy a used one (thus cheaper, often found on Craigslist) and stock it with things that are only for you. Fill it full of carrots, apples, other low calorie but crunchy snacks. This way every time you open the door for a snack you aren't staring at yummy high cal temptations. Add in a lot of gum to chew on, teas that are low cal and add low cal coconut milk and no cal saccharine or other zero cal sweetener. Keep a little notebook to jot down when you are likely to turn to comfort food. If specific times, then plan on taking doggy for a walk at those times or go for a bike ride. If you know some stressful decisions or activity will be coming up plan a fun activity for afterwards that is out of the house and away from snacks.
  • KealoloSue wrote: »
    Tim, would it work for you to buy yourself a small refrigerator that is just for you? Buy a used one (thus cheaper, often found on Craigslist) and stock it with things that are only for you. Fill it full of carrots, apples, other low calorie but crunchy snacks. This way every time you open the door for a snack you aren't staring at yummy high cal temptations. Add in a lot of gum to chew on, teas that are low cal and add low cal coconut milk and no cal saccharine or other zero cal sweetener. Keep a little notebook to jot down when you are likely to turn to comfort food. If specific times, then plan on taking doggy for a walk at those times or go for a bike ride. If you know some stressful decisions or activity will be coming up plan a fun activity for afterwards that is out of the house and away from snacks.

    Probably not right now. Plus it’d go in the garage versus right where I need it when I get snacky. It’s really less about my snacking and more about changing my routine and how I view food in general. It’s a reward for me vs fuel. I get extremely focused and will snack without thinking in order to not lose motivation for what I’m doing.

    The dog walks are a good idea and I can de that easy. We have a new one that needs the energy burned of!