Don't feel like I can treat myself.

ashleebussey
ashleebussey Posts: 4 Member
edited November 2020 in Motivation and Support
Does anyone else feel guilty for allowing themselves to snack or have a treat? Usually I'm very strict with my lunch, either ham or tuna sandwich but I thought I'd treat myself today and have a bigger lunch, my tuna sandwich, some crisps, a mini snack cheese thing and a mini chocolate roll but now I'm sitting here looking at it feeling really guilty, like I don't deserve it. Im always convincing myself out of cheat days or an occasional takeaway I've planned because I know I'll only feel guilty for it. I know if I eat this for lunch I'll end up trying to avoid dinner later!

Replies

  • ashleebussey
    ashleebussey Posts: 4 Member
    I think it's mainly because I'm worried I won't loose any weight if I eat any more than I already do. I barely managed 2lbs last week as it is and I only ate 1300 every day.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,129 Member
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    Feeling so guilty that you miss a meal, is bad news, it is not a healthy relationship with food.

    Thinking that 2lb per week is barely losing weight, also not good.

    If you're eating 1300 calories and losing 2lb per week, then you're not going to stop losing weight unless you're eating 2300 calories per day, the most successful plan is the one you can stick to, do you want to lose and gain the same 5-10lbs over and over because you do something you can't sustain long term - probably not.

    Bring your rate of loss down to 1lb per week (unless you're looking to lose vanity weight in which case 0.5lbs per week would be more appropriate). You'll still lose weight and get to incorporate the foods you enjoy and not feel like you're "cheating".
  • Dogmom1978
    Dogmom1978 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Agree with the above that 2 lbs a week is probably too aggressive a rate of loss for you. How much weight do you have left to lose? And since when does 2 lbs fall into the “only” category?

    You didn’t gain the weight super fast, so you won’t lose it super fast either. If you set unrealistic expectations for yourself, you are more likely to fail, become discouraged and give up.
  • nanastaci2020
    nanastaci2020 Posts: 1,072 Member
    edited November 2020
    No, I don't. But I also don't view food as being good or bad. Those are qualities we assign to things. Instead I think about food as fuel. It is a matter of numbers, like a budget.

    Think of your finances. If you have $2000 income each month and your rent/bills/groceries/other needs cost you $1800 per month - what would you do with the extra $200? Probably save some and spend some, meaning spending some of it on things you want but don't necessarily 'need'. You would probably be ok with that strategy, knowing all of your needs are taken care of. Food is the SAME. Our bodies need nutrition. If you can give it what it needs with the bulk of your calories, there is nothing wrong with spending some calories on things you want.
  • NikaIris
    NikaIris Posts: 42 Member
    I think, the more interesting question ist "Why do you assume you need food to treat yourself?". ;)
    I mean ... I can totally relate to that, because I'm a highly emotional eater and food has always been my source of comfort and joy.
    But that is actually a pretty harmful mindset. Nutrition is there to give you energy and it keeps you alive. It doesn't exist to make you happy.
    I think being fixated on food as a treat actually prevents us from finding out what really makes us happy. Maybe you need to go for a long walk and clear your head. Write a poem. Start painting. Take a warm bath. Light a scented candle. Call a good friend. Read a good book. Cuddle your dog. Maybe try things out you haven't done before, so you will find the things that makes you happy.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    Are you feeling guilty for eating food that fits within your diet plan? Or are you blowing your diet plan by eating foods you shouldn't?

    If you're blowing your diet.. you need to feel guilty. ha. But why not fit some treats into your everyday eating and still lose weight. You can do that.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    NikaIris wrote: »
    I think, the more interesting question ist "Why do you assume you need food to treat yourself?". ;)
    I mean ... I can totally relate to that, because I'm a highly emotional eater and food has always been my source of comfort and joy.
    But that is actually a pretty harmful mindset. Nutrition is there to give you energy and it keeps you alive. It doesn't exist to make you happy.
    I think being fixated on food as a treat actually prevents us from finding out what really makes us happy. Maybe you need to go for a long walk and clear your head. Write a poem. Start painting. Take a warm bath. Light a scented candle. Call a good friend. Read a good book. Cuddle your dog. Maybe try things out you haven't done before, so you will find the things that makes you happy.

    With an appropriate level of balance, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with sometimes being pleased by food. That doesn't mean that some of us use food for pleasure in ways that are harmful or out of balance.

    When it's cold outside, it can be comforting to have a warm bowl of soup. In the context of a celebration, it can be joyful to share cake with others. In the summer, there's something refreshing and pleasurable about enjoying fresh fruit or a chilled gazpacho.

    The out of balance part, where we're asking food to provide too much of our comfort and joy and it leads to us consuming more calories than we need, is a real issue. But not all of us find the best response is to swing the other direction and not get any pleasure from food. In a situation where one is consuming the right amount of calories, a treat with lunch can be a nice mid-day experience.
  • NikaIris
    NikaIris Posts: 42 Member
    edited December 2020
    @janejellyroll Well, of course I can only speak for myself. But that mindset was what made me gain weight like crazy in the first place.
    Like an alcoholic always finds occasions to drink I always looked for socially acceptable reasons to eat (thinking "but EVERYBODY treats themself sometimes!".
    And you literally always find something.
    It's so early and I'm tired - take a lot of your cream in your coffee to feel better. Stressful day at work? Treat yourself with some cookies. Finally at home? Treat yourself with some snacks to celebrate! Reading a great book? Snacking something along with it will make it even better - treat yourself! It's somebodys birthday? No need to diet right now, it's an exception, so treat yourself.
    It literally never stopped.

    And if I treat myself for one thing, than why shouldn't I do it later for a similar flimsy excuse?
    The only thing that has helped me so far to actually change something was to change the whole mindset and decouple my emotional state from eating. It's hard and some days I really struggle, but I found a lot of things I never tried before, that actually make me happy or help me when I'm sad or angry or stressed. I also found out that I actually use food to swallow down a lot of negative emotions.

    Of course, as you said - that might be different for everybody and that's just my story. But seeing food as a treat was really harmful for me and started a really vicious cycle.
  • Snugbug6
    Snugbug6 Posts: 30 Member
    If it's causing guilt and anxiety, it's not a treat. Why not treat yourself with something that makes you feel good about yourself instead?

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