Beyond Love?
Replies
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There is nothing beyond the purest love, which is transcendence, nirvana, agape, whatever you want to call it. It’s not about attachment.2
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Love isn’t a feeling.
Love is an action.
Sometimes it’s hard.
Sometimes it’s easy.
Like the band Star says “hold on when you get love and let go when you give it”.
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Love isn’t a feeling.
Love is an action.
Sometimes it’s hard.
Sometimes it’s easy.
Like the band Star says “hold on when you get love and let go when you give it”.
If this is true - and maybe it is - then it only requires two or more willing participants and the specifics of who they are don’t matter all that much. You can just love the one you’re with.1 -
But if it’s true, and I think it might be, it’s sad to me. Because it would be lovely to have a fire and desire and connectedness that drives the necessary work. It would be lovely to really FEEL.scratchmyTwitch wrote: »Love isn’t a feeling.
Love is an action.
Sometimes it’s hard.
Sometimes it’s easy.
Like the band Star says “hold on when you get love and let go when you give it”.
If this is true - and maybe it is - then it only requires two or more willing participants and the specifics of who they are don’t matter all that much. You can just love the one you’re with.
2 -
scratchmyTwitch wrote: »
But if it’s true, and I think it might be, it’s sad to me. Because it would be lovely to have a fire and desire and connectedness that drives the necessary work. It would be lovely to really FEEL.scratchmyTwitch wrote: »Love isn’t a feeling.
Love is an action.
Sometimes it’s hard.
Sometimes it’s easy.
Like the band Star says “hold on when you get love and let go when you give it”.
If this is true - and maybe it is - then it only requires two or more willing participants and the specifics of who they are don’t matter all that much. You can just love the one you’re with.
I’m also transcending the notion of romantic love. To only define love in terms between two people cheapens what love is. I think we can only focus on the love we give, and like everything else, it’s a practise. You need to practise it every day (just like making healthy food choices) in order to become someone who shows love to those all around them. Even the ones it is uncomfortable to do so with. (Note: loving others does not mean allowing yourself to be walked on).
I’m also one of those people that is distrustful of ~feelings~ but wishes I wasn’t. So yeah feeling love (whatever that is, serotonin) all the time would be nice, but I think the practise of it is beautiful in its own way.2 -
Yes, I was raised with the idea that love is service. And that in a good relationship both parties put each other’s needs ahead of their own. If they both do this, the relationship should be equitable.scratchmyTwitch wrote: »
But if it’s true, and I think it might be, it’s sad to me. Because it would be lovely to have a fire and desire and connectedness that drives the necessary work. It would be lovely to really FEEL.scratchmyTwitch wrote: »Love isn’t a feeling.
Love is an action.
Sometimes it’s hard.
Sometimes it’s easy.
Like the band Star says “hold on when you get love and let go when you give it”.
If this is true - and maybe it is - then it only requires two or more willing participants and the specifics of who they are don’t matter all that much. You can just love the one you’re with.
I’m also transcending the notion of romantic love. To only define love in terms between two people cheapens what love is. I think we can only focus on the love we give, and like everything else, it’s a practise. You need to practise it every day (just like making healthy food choices) in order to become someone who shows love to those all around them. Even the ones it is uncomfortable to do so with. (Note: loving others does not mean allowing yourself to be walked on).
I can’t say it isn’t true but I can say that it doesn’t necessarily bring happiness. I do often wish I could believe something else.
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aChuisle_moChroi wrote: »There is nothing beyond the purest love, which is transcendence, nirvana, agape, whatever you want to call it. It’s not about attachment.
I see that you too have enjoyed the combination burrito special at Taco Cabana.
"Purest Love" pretty much sums it up, right?1 -
Ok, found the soul mate and all that, but in a couple decades he kinda misplaced the armor and the white horse, and my golden aura is at best frizzy, shredded and a poopy brown. No euphoria and no regrets.
To answer the question, I don’t know what’s beyond, because I’m not done yet.3 -
Ok, found the soul mate and all that, but in a couple decades he kinda misplaced the armor and the white horse, and my golden aura is at best frizzy, shredded and a poopy brown. No euphoria and no regrets.
To answer the question, I don’t know what’s beyond, because I’m not done yet.
I like that, makes life seem so much more of an adventure!
@scratchmyTwitch I feel ya on the feeling part. 💛3 -
northviewvintage wrote: »Somewhere between a 5 and 6, maybe?
Pretty sure I'm permanently between a 7 and 8 for all things, concurrently.3 -
Love is not about you.
Happiness is an emotion. Fleeting at best.
Joy is a state of being.
To truly love someone you must be capable of intimacy. Intamacy comes in many forms. Physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual etc. For two people to be truly intimate is to be vulnerable and reveal yourself to the other. I you don't know who you are you cannot reveal yourself to another. If can't discern who you are you will not know another. Each must in turn be willing to sacrifice thier desires and dreams to fulfill the other's needs. This vulnerability requires trust and strength of character when the other fails. And they will.
Joy is the state when you "know" each other and you are choosing to love each other anyways. Happiness is when you align and it feels great in the moment. A good conversation, a fantastic decision, a wonderful activity, a romantic moment.5 -
Love is not about you.
Happiness is an emotion. Fleeting at best.
Joy is a state of being.
To truly love someone you must be capable of intimacy. Intamacy comes in many forms. Physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual etc. For two people to be truly intimate is to be vulnerable and reveal yourself to the other. I you don't know who you are you cannot reveal yourself to another. If can't discern who you are you will not know another. Each must in turn be willing to sacrifice thier desires and dreams to fulfill the other's needs. This vulnerability requires trust and strength of character when the other fails. And they will.
Joy is the state when you "know" each other and you are choosing to love each other anyways. Happiness is when you align and it feels great in the moment. A good conversation, a fantastic decision, a wonderful activity, a romantic moment.
So...what's the exact opposite of all that? I think that's what I'm in.
There are so many definitions, meanings, interpretations of love; and many times infatuation/lust makes us think we're in love when we're definitely not.
But beyond love? I'll never experience that because I don't feel I've truly experienced real love. Real infatuation maybe. And real lust definitely.
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KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »It is part of the New Age movement, but I think some particularly narcissistic New Age types found the concept appealing and adopted it as part of their arsenal of tactics to disarm potential lovers/victims. It was used on me at one point and I've heard from other narcissistic partner survivors that it has been used on them.
My narcissist used "kindred spirits". Same deal. Convey unique and somewhat cosmic affinity.
When I think of love beyond the personal interactional level it's probably along the lines of agape. That's still love though.
Ugh, mine too! Do we know the same weirdo???
They're ALL the same weirdo underneath the phony mystique, we're just not supposed to figure that out.4 -
I traveled beyond love and what I found cannot be described as anything but a vast expanse of instant, sugar-free pudding8
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My most intense and most passionate love was also the love that almost utterly destroyed me. I don't think I'll ever fully recover from that one.
Then I found a steady and calm, but rather dull love... And that ended too, in most hurtful fashion.
The love that seems to stand the test of time? The love from my cats. Especially when I have treats. 😂
Sadly, that says a lot.8 -
@MaltedTea wrote: »So, I find love everywhere and in everything. My friends and family have stopped making fun of the fact I exclaim "Romantic! 😍" in response to just about any interaction between any two or more people.
Love, to me, is easily attainable and all encompassing. You've always had a firm grasp of it even when you thought you were void of it.
Beyond that would be... multifaceted, unencumbered and untethered joy which allows you, and others you relate with, to experience the feeling equally. Shooting from the hip here so I dunno 🤷🏿♀️
I'm just out here in the world getting ready to meet my Future Husband aka The Last Love of My Life (who will necessarily be encumbered for at least a few years - or decades - until my cufflink issue subsides...maybe)
You make me smile. I love your energy and outlook on life. I’d love to be the man who sweeps you off your feet but
alas
I own no cufflinks 😪2 -
I think the ideal love is when someone gives you freedom.
Not necessarily freedom to roam or whatever might seem implied there. I mean freedom from judgment. Freedom from control/manipulation. From shaming and jealousy. The freedom to be yourself and do what you want.
All while wanting to be there with you, not holding you back but matching your enthusiasm and making every experience that much more enjoyable6 -
I don't know why I made this dumb thread5
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chuckle_bunny wrote: »I don't know why I made this dumb thread
This is how i feel approximately 100 times a month9 -
I read this last might and it’s been on my mind since. I’m not good with words but can honestly sum this up with a pic. Atleast as it applies to me and my life experiences.
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@rcl6 I think you said it as well as anyone could.
A dog's love definitely goes beyond. It's unconditional, trusting, endless, tolerant, touching, there whenever you need it through good and bad, and always loyal.
I've never had a relationship that could boast all those traits.6 -
@ReenieHJ You are loved here. Every. Single. Day.
We are more than internet strangers. We are friends. We share more with others here than we do our own families. There are all kinds of emotional entanglements. You are loved, I can assure you of that. Reality bites and sux and blows and sux and blows and it sux and blows.
Enjoy the love that is shared here. All we have are words and let those words wash all over you. Let it rain down love in here each and every day. Take what you need from a bunch of different sources and give yourself permission to do your own thinking. Do not compare your life with anyone else. Do. Not. Do. It.
I have been through hail on earth with many difficult life situations and one of those was murder of a family member. A young mother taken too soon by her own husband. Babies left behind. Life ain't easy for any of us. If we really had it all going on do you think we would have this much time every single day? No, we would not.
We would be so busy enjoying our perfect lives we would not have time for forums and all of the rest of this stuff.
When it comes to life it is a level playing field. We all suffer equally but in different ways.
Enjoy your life and wring everything out of it that you can. To hail with the disagree button. To hail with making others feel small or less than. You are my Romy and I am your Michelle. We are going to have a good time whether you like it or not. Much love, Romy. Reenie.
Bossy Mossy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNe5AvInRCQ
Let this wash down over you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfJWqjoekow
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I think the ideal love is when someone gives you freedom.
Not necessarily freedom to roam or whatever might seem implied there. I mean freedom from judgment. Freedom from control/manipulation. From shaming and jealousy. The freedom to be yourself and do what you want.
All while wanting to be there with you, not holding you back but matching your enthusiasm and making every experience that much more enjoyable
This is beautiful.
I honestly thought I had found exactly that once. Then it turned out he had been cheating throughout the entire relationship.
So, yeah... dogs. And, depending on flavour variety, that sugar-free instant pudding thing might work too4 -
Diatonic12 wrote: »@ReenieHJ You are loved here. Every. Single. Day.
We are more than internet strangers. We are friends. We share more with others here than we do our own families. There are all kinds of emotional entanglements. You are loved, I can assure you of that. Reality bites and sux and blows and sux and blows and it sux and blows.
Enjoy the love that is shared here. All we have are words and let those words wash all over you. Let it rain down love in here each and every day. Take what you need from a bunch of different sources and give yourself permission to do your own thinking. Do not compare your life with anyone else. Do. Not. Do. It.
I have been through hail on earth with many difficult life situations and one of those was murder of a family member. A young mother taken too soon by her own husband. Babies left behind. Life ain't easy for any of us. If we really had it all going on do you think we would have this much time every single day? No, we would not.
We would be so busy enjoying our perfect lives we would not have time for forums and all of the rest of this stuff.
When it comes to life it is a level playing field. We all suffer equally but in different ways.
Enjoy your life and wring everything out of it that you can. To hail with the disagree button. To hail with making others feel small or less than. You are my Romy and I am your Michelle. We are going to have a good time whether you like it or not. Much love, Romy. Reenie.
Bossy Mossyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNe5AvInRCQ
Let this wash down over you.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfJWqjoekow
Well dang Diatonic, if that isn't just about the sweetest thing I've heard(ok read) in awhile!! Thank you for that.
It is true what I said about dog love though. I trust them with my feelings. And that, to me, is very important in any long lasting relationship. I've been married for 42 years, separated for 12 of those years but back together and I still don't trust him with my feelings. I trust him in many other ways but can only tell him so much. And I think Cacoether hit on it when she mentioned freedom from judgement. Where there is judgement, your true self never comes out; you can't be who you were meant to be.
We've become room mates.
And that's enough personal info for today. 2 -
Side note, I have GOT to watch that movie soon, Diatonic; I've never seen it and it looks funny as hell. 1
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