Everyday is a fresh start then I binge ...

mita271 wrote: »

I completely lost motivation , every single day for the past month I promise myself that this is it today I will get back on the wagon and then by the end of the day i binge , what’s wrong with me ??

Nothing is wrong with you!!
What were you doing up until a month ago? Are you just getting started or have you been at this awhile and it's been stressful? Just trying to get a feel for where you're at. Are you normally a binge eater?

Binge eating is my normal way of coping with emotions, usually negative emotions such as depression, fear, stress, anger. Happy emotions I do much better. You can tell what kind of a year I've had since January when I couldn't return easily from holiday snacking. Took 3 weeks. Then my BIL started failing and the stress had me eating/not counting for another few weeks. Then I had another topple end of summer/early fall, stressing and being depressed even more, from which I've yet to recover. Needless to say, I'm over what I was last year but even worse, I haven't been able to gain back the control and mindset I had.
BUT with that all said, and this is the important part, I have picked Sunday as my day to return to counting, eating veggies and fruits, putting a little exercise back into the routine, IOW taking care of me in a much healthier way than I have this year. Maybe wait until the bulk of your holiday eating is done, then get back to it and start over fresh? There are bumps in most of our roads forward but the important part is reclaiming your mindset and hitting the reset button. Don't give up!! I've spent my whole life doing that and did it again in 2020. Now it's time to turn it back. The thing I have to remember is how it felt to be thin. To be able to move without effort. To be able to cross my legs, run upstairs, wear my size 8's.
When I go shopping, the bakery and ice cream aisles yell to me. I've forgotten how to walk by and ignore them. And the poor veggie bins gave up on me awhile back. Time to make friends once again with the spinach and carrots.

I’m just some random woman on the internet, but do I detect some depression?

Are you coping well with lockdown, worries about family, depressed over Christmas falling on its face this year? Money worries? Partner, kids, even pets driving you mad in close quarters?

I handled lockdown really well til Thanksgiving and then it just kind of hit me all at once. My first ever holidays without my precious girls, family or friends. I find myself sitting in my armchair, surrounded by needlework projects I’ve begun, books I’ve started, magazines that would normally tempt me, staring into space. I’m even tired of surfing the net.

I’m not a social person by any stretch, I have a wonderful husband, sweet kitties, and no health or other worries. I can’t even imagine how it’s affecting other people.

I’ve begun eating more, feel hungry all the time, tired, rundown, have even allowed myself a few pig out days in the run up to Christmas. Food is nice, but I realize now it hasn’t made me feel any better. I haven’t cleaned the house in over a week and a half. That sounds ridiculous but I’m an OCD cleaner. My vacuum has more miles on it than my car.

If you are feeling down and unmotivated, join the party.

But when we make it a pity party, and allow ourselves to bathe in it, we aren’t doing ourselves any favors.

Set a small goal and do it. Then another, then a couple and work your way back into motivation.

Get outdoors and get some sunshine and fresh air in your system to revive your spirits.

I hope I didn’t read too much into your post and apologies if I did. Hugs if I did, and mega super hugs if I didn’t.

mita271 wrote: »

I completely lost motivation , every single day for the past month I promise myself that this is it today I will get back on the wagon and then by the end of the day i binge , what’s wrong with me ??

What do you mean by binge? I ask because people use it in many different ways. For some it is the clinical definition, basically a period of uncontrolled eating of almost anything, which is unrelated to hunger and can be a huge number of cals, and tends to be a way to suppress emotions (this is really imprecise, there's more to it and not all fit everything I said). For others, it simply means having dessert if you didn't plan to or eating more than intended.

One trigger for overeating in a seemingly uncontrollable way, even if you mean something closer to the latter than the former, can be overrestriction--what is your plan for the day before the "binge" and what does the binge tend to consist of? This is all normal, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.

mita271 wrote: »

I completely lost motivation , every single day for the past month I promise myself that this is it today I will get back on the wagon and then by the end of the day i binge , what’s wrong with me ??

It may be quite simple - for example, you don't eat enough calories during the day or don't eat foods that satiate you, which provokes overeating in the evening.

How much weight do you have to lose and what's your weekly weight loss goal set to?

Many of us make the mistake of choosing and overly-aggressive weight loss goal when we start. Here's what that can look like over days:

https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/1200-calorie-diet/



So perhaps you are trying to eat 1200 calories per day when you really should be eating 1500 or 1700.

if i set my calorie goals too low I can fall into this trap. for me, setting it at 1500 seems to work best. i can eat but am still mindful. but if I want cookies (or M&Ms, like yesterday)... I have room to make them fit.

better to lose at a slower rate than not at all.

You're in the classic trap - trying everyday to reengage with the diet, and then overeating, and then deciding that tomorrow with be a brand-new start, which then gives you permission to go crazy on the snacking, and then tomorrow comes and turns out the day after that will be the day you get serious.

Been there.

Two suggestions. One, make sure your calorie target is set high enough so that you're not easily exceeding it, for at least a week or two. I find, speaking only for myself, n=1, that it's that inability to get a total "win" on the board when I'm in your situation, that makes it so hard to get back on track. So if I set 1600 cals after a period of overeating, inevitably I get to 1650 and it feels like a wasted day, so "tomorrow will be Day 1", and then the binging starts. Loosen it up for a week - add 500 cals, e.g. 2000, 2100, 2200 calories, so that you can just feel good about hitting a number and gain confidence that you have it back under control, without it being deprivational.

2. You have to decide you want to do this. Macros, calories, strangers' opinions, being lectured that weight loss is just eating less calories than you burn - all of it -- nothing is going to make any difference until YOU are ready - until you decide that YOU want to lose weight more than you want the next bag of chips. You have to get past the failure mentality where you already 3/4-believe you're going to fail at it today, and get in there and nail it, like you nail other important things in your life when things MUST go right. Everyone has things they do right and times when they're completely nailed down - you just need to get to a point where you're ready to apply that to your body. How you get there mentally is up to you, but you probably won't succeed with this until you clear the decks of that "every day I fail" mindset and get into a fresh, new one. Sometimes just getting 1 solid, unequivocal success day under your belt is all it takes - for that see suggestion (1) above.