Anxiety just posting a message

deeleelei · December 2020

Hello, so this is the area of my life I have never found control over. I don’t like to admit to anyone and especially myself how little control I have over food. I just like the comfort of eating. I know where it comes from ( childhood), I know I have to work in this area, so for today just posting a message is a start. 48 years old. 40 pounds over weight. Would be happy to lose 20 pounds.

KickassAmazon76 · December 2020

I'm just about to head to sleep, but I wanted to tell you I see you.

Anxiety and feeling out of control is scary, and it's ok to feel that way.

The thing about this process is that you can make it as simple or as hard as you like. If you are just starting out, don't worry about the weight loss side of things. Focus on spending a week getting used to using MFP to log and track what you're eating. Buy a scale. Weigh and measure.

If you make a lot of homemade food, you can create recipes which will help you identify how many cals you consume. Track everything. The butter in your pan. The dressing on your salad. You'd be amazed at just how little 1tbsp actually is.

Once you become aware of what and how much you're eating and feel comfortable with the app and tools here, then you can look at reducing the amount by a bit. At the same time, if you can increase your activity a little... Between the two small changes, good things can happen.

Remember, you're human. You'll make mistakes. That's ok. Success isn't about being perfect every day. It's about doing better than you were.

And you're here. That's an amazing first step!

deeleelei · December 2020

Thank you for your comments and for taking a minute to send a message. As an overachiever the anxiety likely comes from this not being an area that I have achieved ( or have control over). Definitely feeling lost so your kindness is appreciated and I will do exactly as you suggested, thank you!

snowflake954 · December 2020

You'll be fine. There's a lot to learn in the beginning. You will make mistakes--we all do. Follow the forums and learn. There's great information on here. Some is simple, other people have been doing this a long time and argue the finer points. There are sticky posts that can help you, so read those. Then, read the success threads, they will keep you going when things get difficult. Patience, and change things up when they no longer work.

ExpressoLove11 · December 2020

You've already been given great advice on where to start, and I would like to reinforce those suggestions.

In lieu of having no practical advice to give as you already have it, I'd just like to say I empathise with how you are feeling. I used to feel that way too and sometimes those feelings can creep back in when the going gets tough. From my 8 years on this app my best advice to you is to be kind and patient with yourself. Give yourself time to learn and don't put yourself down if you have a setback because those can and will happen and there is no one who gets it right 100% of the time. The longer you stick at it, and the more you learn about yourself and what works for you, the easier it gets. Just don't give up on yourself because you are worth the time and effort even on the days where it feels like you aren't, I promise you that you are! Good luck 😊

deeleelei · January 2021

Thank you! I already see I have a lot to learn. 8 years? That’s incredible. And I can see how much the first step is just telling myself that I am worth the time and effort required to meet my goals..... 2021 will be my year.

durhammfp · January 2021

So much good advice on here.

As others have said, don't beat yourself up if the weight does not come off "perfectly." Weight loss is not linear and does not want to conform to our schedule. When I was 53 I realized that I was about 50 pounds overweight and that if I did not do anything about it, then I would be at risk for a lot of the same chronic illnesses my parents and grandparents had. But I never thought of it as losing 50 pounds. I did, and still do, think of it as losing 1 pound, just 50 times.

It was a slow process but sticking to the plan (mostly using the MFP food diary) helped.

rosebarnalice · January 2021

Long time emotional eater and yoyo dieter here. Celebrating happy times with food, numbing pain and sorrow with food, eating to alleviate boredom or to facilitate procrastination . . . I know it all.

One of the reasons I log what I eat is that it helps me stay aware of my tendency towards emotional eating. Sometimes my self-talk sounds something like: Hey, there, me . . . Why are we looking in the pantry? We've already eaten xxxx calories today, so I know you're not feeling hungry so what ARE we feeling if it's not hunger? Let's just close the fridge door and walk away . . . and just FEEL whatever it is, ok?"

Unknown · January 2021

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SGP53015 · January 2021

@deeleelei, you are not alone on this journey. So many of us are here to "walk" with you, sharing the struggle. So much great advice given already. I especially needed to read the post from @rosebarnalice -

rosebarnalice wrote: »

Sometimes my self-talk sounds something like: Hey, there, me . . . Why are we looking in the pantry? We've already eaten xxxx calories today, so I know you're not feeling hungry so what ARE we feeling if it's not hunger? Let's just close the fridge door and walk away . . . and just FEEL whatever it is, ok?"

springlering62 · January 2021

You can’t see me, but I’m shaking my head violently. No no no no. Don’t be anxious posting here! If I could reach through your screen to give you a warm hug, I would.

You are in a true community of people sharing the same issues, goals, trials, triumphs.

We may have all taken our own different path to get here, but we have to take essentially the same one to get out.

We all have the same questions, wonderment, and sometimes complete puzzlement over what’s happening to our bodies, or indeed, even how to make it happen.

Where else can you come to ask questions like,”Why am I so cold?”, share frustration over belly rolls, and discover the most effective way to weigh foods (before or after cooking, cups or grams?)

In the “outside” world, people don’t care, don’t know, or may unfortunately look down their noses. Inside the warm MFP community, we are all beavering away at it and trying to help one another towards the common goal.

Oh please, don’t be anxious posting. Omg. If I had a dollar for every worryingly stupid post I’ve posted that got legit good answers......Well, let’s make that a calorie instead.

Hugs to you in this journey. “Weight Loss Journey” can sound trivial and trite, but it is a journey, from A to Z, with lots of unexpected detours in the middle.

KickassAmazon76 · January 2021

springlering62 wrote: »

You can’t see me, but I’m shaking my head violently. No no no no. Don’t be anxious posting here! If I could reach through your screen to give you a warm hug, I would.

You are in a true community of people sharing the same issues, goals, trials, triumphs.

We may have all taken our own different path to get here, but we have to take essentially the same one to get out.

We all have the same questions, wonderment, and sometimes complete puzzlement over what’s happening to our bodies, or indeed, even how to make it happen.

Where else can you come to ask questions like,”Why am I so cold?”, share frustration over belly rolls, and discover the most effective way to weigh foods (before or after cooking, cups or grams?)

In the “outside” world, people don’t care, don’t know, or may unfortunately look down their noses. Inside the warm MFP community, we are all beavering away at it and trying to help one another towards the common goal.

Oh please, don’t be anxious posting. Omg. If I had a dollar for every worryingly stupid post I’ve posted that got legit good answers......Well, let’s make that a calorie instead.

Hugs to you in this journey. “Weight Loss Journey” can sound trivial and trite, but it is a journey, from A to Z, with lots of unexpected detours in the middle.

You are such an amazing support. ❤️

deeleelei · January 2021

In my life I’ve never had such genuine support without criticism. I’m taken back. This is truly inspiring to be received so kindly. And with great advise! Off to a great 2021 start, using all advise provided. Thanks!

Zinka61 · January 2021

You might feel less anxious just sharing posts with a small group of friends than here on the forums. I had 25-30lbs to lose 6 years ago and was getting nowhere on my own, but here, I got them off in just a few months. I've stuck around because maintaining needs constant effort, and I backslide from time to time, but I've never gained back all the weight I initially lost. I'd never have done it without my friends. I would like to lose 10 now, but the last lbs go slowly. Your goal is very doable!

janejellyroll · January 2021

Welcome!

I think so many of us here can understand how scary it can be to demonstrate our vulnerability and admit we want to make some changes. You're taking a big step!

There are many people here who are rooting for you and understand what it's like to be just starting out.

I began using this app in 2015 and have been maintaining a 40+ pound weight loss since the end of that year. One thing that helped me was that I never had to have a perfect day -- I just needed to be at my calorie goal more often than not. There's so much flexibility with calorie counting. Some people eliminate certain foods they struggle with, others have it within their calorie goals. Some people completely change the way they eat, some people just eat less of the stuff they were eating before. Some of us exercise a lot, some of us a bit, some not at all! Some people eat once a day, some people eat just three meals, others are eating almost all the time. There's no one right way to do it and there is lots of room to experiment to see what works best for YOU.

Anxiety just posting a message

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