What if I want to lose 'X' amount of weight by a certain date? Can I?
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callsitlikeiseeit
Posts: 8,627 Member
One of the things you start to notice after you've been in the forums for some time is... common themes. One statement said quite often is ' I need to lose 'X' amount of pounds by 'X' date. We see this all year long. Right now, with the new year, it's for the (entire) year 2021. Come February, it will be for spring break. Come March, Summer vacations. You get the idea.
sigh.
Whether it's spring break, a vacation, a wedding, a holiday, or some other date with meaning to that person, unless that date is a year out (and maybe even then)... your goal may or may not be realistic. And... people don't like to hear that (see my username? I have it for a reason!). Especially when you consider the fact that the closer to your goal weight, and less you have to lose... the HARDER it is and the LONGER it takes. If you weigh 100 pounds and want to weigh 95 pounds... Brace yourself for the fact it could take you 2-3 months if you do it in a healthy manner. Starving yourself may (or may not) make you reach that goal, but at what cost? Poor skin? Poor hair? loss of brain function? Damage to internal organs? We NEED food to function properly.
Rather than focusing on an end date that you may, or may not reach (or even be ABLE to reach in a perfect world), you will find yourself far less stressed, and far more likely to reach, and more importantly, STAY AT your goal, by losing it slower. Doing a bit better each day. And when you have a day that's worse, realizing it is not the end of the world. One day, does not, never has, and never will, make or break a diet. Letting that day extend into long periods of time... is another story.
Take me for example. My personal goals are to eat between 1400-1500 calories per day. That is an amount I can still lose at, and still feel like I am eating. And if I go over? Okay. It was just one day. I never count calories on my birthday or holidays. Ever. Not even when I was losing 130 pounds. I enjoy the day. It doesn't mean I eat an entire cake, but you can bet I will have a piece of the cake that I make for myself and not worry about the fact that in all likelihood, it is an 800 calorie slice of cake. What I may do, is try to get in a few extra workouts, or a few longer workouts than I may typically do.
My goal is to lose 50 pounds. Technically I have more than that to lose, but let me get back to where I WAS before I worry about more. It might take 6 months (could happen in a PERFECT world, and if I ate at a large enough deficit), most likely will take a year. Could take longer. But, in 6 months, a year... if I am lighter, healthier, and happier with my weight than I am TODAY... well.... that's a win, and something to be proud of. If more of the clothes that are currently in my closet fit, and I like how they look... that's a REALLY BIG WIN! Regardless of what the scale says.
Be kind to yourself. Do your best each day, and realize that some days... LIFE happens. or we have a really bad emotional day (I have depression and anxiety, so I FULLY understand those!). But how we react to those days, and the days following them is what will result in success or disappointment. Set realistic expectations. Set calorie goals you can LIVE with, without feeling like all you are eating is boiled chicken breast and steamed broccoli (which sounds perfectly dreadful!).
sigh.
Whether it's spring break, a vacation, a wedding, a holiday, or some other date with meaning to that person, unless that date is a year out (and maybe even then)... your goal may or may not be realistic. And... people don't like to hear that (see my username? I have it for a reason!). Especially when you consider the fact that the closer to your goal weight, and less you have to lose... the HARDER it is and the LONGER it takes. If you weigh 100 pounds and want to weigh 95 pounds... Brace yourself for the fact it could take you 2-3 months if you do it in a healthy manner. Starving yourself may (or may not) make you reach that goal, but at what cost? Poor skin? Poor hair? loss of brain function? Damage to internal organs? We NEED food to function properly.
Rather than focusing on an end date that you may, or may not reach (or even be ABLE to reach in a perfect world), you will find yourself far less stressed, and far more likely to reach, and more importantly, STAY AT your goal, by losing it slower. Doing a bit better each day. And when you have a day that's worse, realizing it is not the end of the world. One day, does not, never has, and never will, make or break a diet. Letting that day extend into long periods of time... is another story.
Take me for example. My personal goals are to eat between 1400-1500 calories per day. That is an amount I can still lose at, and still feel like I am eating. And if I go over? Okay. It was just one day. I never count calories on my birthday or holidays. Ever. Not even when I was losing 130 pounds. I enjoy the day. It doesn't mean I eat an entire cake, but you can bet I will have a piece of the cake that I make for myself and not worry about the fact that in all likelihood, it is an 800 calorie slice of cake. What I may do, is try to get in a few extra workouts, or a few longer workouts than I may typically do.
My goal is to lose 50 pounds. Technically I have more than that to lose, but let me get back to where I WAS before I worry about more. It might take 6 months (could happen in a PERFECT world, and if I ate at a large enough deficit), most likely will take a year. Could take longer. But, in 6 months, a year... if I am lighter, healthier, and happier with my weight than I am TODAY... well.... that's a win, and something to be proud of. If more of the clothes that are currently in my closet fit, and I like how they look... that's a REALLY BIG WIN! Regardless of what the scale says.
Be kind to yourself. Do your best each day, and realize that some days... LIFE happens. or we have a really bad emotional day (I have depression and anxiety, so I FULLY understand those!). But how we react to those days, and the days following them is what will result in success or disappointment. Set realistic expectations. Set calorie goals you can LIVE with, without feeling like all you are eating is boiled chicken breast and steamed broccoli (which sounds perfectly dreadful!).
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Replies
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Thoughtful... I agree with a lot of what you say here. For me, this is EXACTLY the approach I took when wondering if I should even bother this time round.
However I am now finding mini-goals with dates motivating. It’s not crazy stuff, just extrapolating from current weight loss rates. The thing is, I seem to live very much in the future. Visualising myself, in my favourite (too small) denim skirt, healthy weight, with my family around me is a hugely powerful lure that comes to my support when considering seconds at supper etc.
I guess it’s a balance between “I could do it by x date” and “I’ve failed because I didn’t do it by x date even though I got halfway there”. More it’s a benchmark to measure my progress against.
With you on the boiled chicken lifestyle though! Never mind my boredom, I eat with my family who would rise up in mutiny if I tried to impose that!!!4 -
Totally agree with this. I never set a date for myself. Furthermore, I intentionally set my profile up for the slowest rate of loss (0.5lbs/0.25kg per week) even though I had 50+lbs to lose, which will seem insanely slow to most people reading.
But hey, these past 18 months have flown by and I'm nearly at my original goal weight and feeling so much better and healthier. And it's been pretty painless too, eating between 1700 and 2000 calories on average, as a 5ft5 woman. My goal weight will probably end up lower than intended in the beginning (I was aiming at the upper end of a healthy BMI) but still no rush. I'm making progress and not starving myself, so I can keep this up for a long time. And transitioning to maintenance will be a small change when it happens.6 -
ClearNotCloudyMind wrote: »
However I am now finding mini-goals with dates motivating. It’s not crazy stuff, just extrapolating from current weight loss rates. The thing is, I seem to live very much in the future. Visualising myself, in my favourite (too small) denim skirt, healthy weight, with my family around me is a hugely powerful lure that comes to my support when considering seconds at supper etc.
I guess it’s a balance between “I could do it by x date” and “I’ve failed because I didn’t do it by x date even though I got halfway there”. More it’s a benchmark to measure my progress against.
With you on the boiled chicken lifestyle though! Never mind my boredom, I eat with my family who would rise up in mutiny if I tried to impose that!!!
i don't have a problem with mini goals, but I don't set a date on them. I have a few tops I'd like to fit in again by summer though. lolTotally agree with this. I never set a date for myself. Furthermore, I intentionally set my profile up for the slowest rate of loss (0.5lbs/0.25kg per week) even though I had 50+lbs to lose, which will seem insanely slow to most people reading.
But hey, these past 18 months have flown by and I'm nearly at my original goal weight and feeling so much better and healthier. And it's been pretty painless too, eating between 1700 and 2000 calories on average, as a 5ft5 woman. My goal weight will probably end up lower than intended in the beginning (I was aiming at the upper end of a healthy BMI) but still no rush. I'm making progress and not starving myself, so I can keep this up for a long time. And transitioning to maintenance will be a small change when it happens.
I maintained for 3 years, nearly. It wasn't until I stopped thinking about it that the weight started creeping back up
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I love this post. Oftentimes, I've found myself wanting to lose a certain number of pounds before big events (a vacation, a wedding, you get it). Every single time has been a failure, because I was not set up properly for success, did not have a healthy mindset, and probably, deep down knew that it was an unattainable goal.
This time, I decided that I was going to get healthier for my own happiness... not because I needed to look good on a special occasion, but because I wanted to FEEL GOOD all of the time. I started tracking calories, committed to drinking less and making healthier choices. I'm down 30 pounds since September. I have another 25 or so to go, and know that I could likely get there by Easter. Instead, I'll just keep making good choices and see where it takes me. Progress, not perfection.6 -
NalaBellyFIT wrote: »I love this post. Oftentimes, I've found myself wanting to lose a certain number of pounds before big events (a vacation, a wedding, you get it). Every single time has been a failure, because I was not set up properly for success, did not have a healthy mindset, and probably, deep down knew that it was an unattainable goal.
This time, I decided that I was going to get healthier for my own happiness... not because I needed to look good on a special occasion, but because I wanted to FEEL GOOD all of the time. I started tracking calories, committed to drinking less and making healthier choices. I'm down 30 pounds since September. I have another 25 or so to go, and know that I could likely get there by Easter. Instead, I'll just keep making good choices and see where it takes me. Progress, not perfection.
id love to say that ill be down this 50 pounds by the time we are able to go back to Canada (hubby is from there and we routinely go 3 or 4 times a year....well, only made it one time this past year). Canada Day (July 1) is our loose target date this time. We will see where I am at that point. regardless, I'll be down at least a bit, and feel better for it.
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This post is spot on. I was going to lose weight by my niece’s wedding. I was going to lose weight by my daughter’s wedding. I’d like to lose weight by my 63rd birthday in August. My goal right now is to lose 10 pounds and appreciate it. That will be 20% of my desired loss. Then my next goal will be to lose another 5 pounds. And appreciate that.4
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Its different strokes for different folks. Not everyone is unreasonable. I am more motivated by a date, but that doesnt mean I'm picking an unrealistic goal or date, nor that it stresses me out. And if I don't get there by that date it doesnt mean I'm going to give up. Losing 100 lbs in 4 months probably won't happen or be healthy. But I have 8 lbs to lose and have no issue setting a goal of 4-5 months to do it in.
Just remember what is right for you isnt right for everyone. You can only call it like you see it for yourself for the most part.4 -
Yeah that approach never worked for me.. I had to learn to take each day at a time , like you said. The first time I lost about 30lbs but I worked myself SO hard each day that once I had my baby ( lost weight naturally during the pregnancy because of 24/7 nausea LOL) I was ravenous and had no self control, seeing that I didnt need to during the pregnancy....so with nursing and late nights up, and lack of sleep I put it all back and more... now Im teaching myself to do it day at a time...to not beat myself up over a few more carbs... but as you know... depression steps in and whoops my butt and it takes several steps back to get back to where i left off. Glad to be on this journey with you!2
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I think it really depends on the questions and information you provided, in addition to that individual’s ability to recognize that losing weight can often be the easy part, maintaining for life is the really hard work.
If an individual can lose safety by a deadline, more power to them. But the real challenge is what they do after. If they can maintain that momentum to keep the (hopefully) healthy habits they have formed, then I have no concern about using the event as a catalyst.
It’s those that yo-yo diet for events that I feel bad for. Healthy habits don’t stick because their goal was so incredibly extrinsic that they get into a cycle of this, and often only leads to self-destruction and depression.3 -
I think it really depends on the questions and information you provided, in addition to that individual’s ability to recognize that losing weight can often be the easy part, maintaining for life is the really hard work.
If an individual can lose safety by a deadline, more power to them. But the real challenge is what they do after. If they can maintain that momentum to keep the (hopefully) healthy habits they have formed, then I have no concern about using the event as a catalyst.
It’s those that yo-yo diet for events that I feel bad for. Healthy habits don’t stick because their goal was so incredibly extrinsic that they get into a cycle of this, and often only leads to self-destruction and depression.
preach it! maintenance was easy while I was THINKING about it. once I STOPPED thinking about it I gained back (some of) my weight. Which explains why I am on here much more than I was for a few years LOL1
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