Over-eating/under-eating + depression and/or mental illness = a very hard life!

MamaSarahBelle
MamaSarahBelle Posts: 21 Member
in Chit-Chat
So I’m going to open up to this world and share some of my darkest secrets in hopes to help others in the same boat. I realize this can change peoples opinions of me but out of the strength of my own feelings...I don’t care. I want to help those who need help and let them know I can relate. Here goes (nervous sigh)
I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since a child. I have scares and history of inpatient stays due to suicide attempts. I have history of sexual abuse from childhood to adulthood, as well as depression, eating disorder, and bipolar disorder. My husband cheated on my for years, I’ve lost a child and a parent, I’ve been sexual harassed in almost ever job I’ve worked, and in many “friendships” I’ve had. I have current health issues of a mass in my brain, seizures, speech difficulty, weight gain from stress eating and medication, and maybe loosing my license due to moments of confusion and disorientation.
But, I’m still standing, I’m still breathing, and I’m still here. I have seen my darkest nights and felt the fear and anguish of many trials. I have used food for comfort and the lack of food in a unhealthy effort to seek control. But I’m still here, and so are you. We are both here because we are seeking healing and health. I truly care or I wouldn’t have exposed myself to the world like I just have. Feel free to continue the discussion here or to friend me if you are in need of an actual friend to help you on your road to health and recovery. I look forward to it.

Replies

  • The_Elephant_Man
    The_Elephant_Man Posts: 207 Member
    I am VERY proud of you for putting yourself out to everyone, you truly are a brave and strong woman!!
  • Yoshiboobs
    Yoshiboobs Posts: 1,090 Member
    You are a mighty strong individual and brave too. I hope you find the right road to health that we're all on the way to. Best of luck.
  • woollenmonarch
    woollenmonarch Posts: 152 Member
    Jesus that was a tough read

    Kudos to you for inspiring others and having the guts to share your story
  • MamaSarahBelle
    MamaSarahBelle Posts: 21 Member
    Thank you everyone. I did it only in hopes to reach someone who may feel all alone. I don’t deserve any praise. But I truly appreciate it! ❤️
  • MamaSarahBelle
    MamaSarahBelle Posts: 21 Member
    Thank you 😊
  • MamaSarahBelle
    MamaSarahBelle Posts: 21 Member
    Angela937 wrote: »
    Its nice to know there are others out there who understand what I have dealt with, and am still dealing with.

    I've had inpatient hospitalization 3 times now as for suicidal ideation. Honestly, its because of my children that I sought the help I needed when I felt like giving up on life.

    I self harm by not eating. And then when I finally decide to eat, I binge on junk food and foods I'm allergic to and then go back to not eating.

    My entire family has recently decided that its time to start being healthier. I am the caretaker in the home, ironically, and I go out of my way to ensure everyone else is well taken care of. I have diabetics in the family, and one who had bariatric surgery back in September. I prepare meals for them, catering to their specific dietary needs, and make sure they have what they need.

    A few weeks ago, my family did a sort of intervention with me about taking care of myself. So we've made a plan of action, created weekly menus that work for every member of my family, and now they are the ones ensuring that I eat properly.

    I didn't think many others out there dealt with what I have before. Thank you, OP, for sharing your story and raising awareness of these issues.

    Your honesty is very brave! I commend you on all you are doing, your making some awesome strides!

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