Need support for huge weight loss goal!

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Hey everyone! I'm a 30 year old woman who has gained significant weight since the birth of my daughter 4 years ago. At first I attributed to baby weight, but I don't have an excuse anymore. I need to lose approximately 90 pounds to be in a healthy weight bracket for my height. It literally seems impossible to me. I have tried my fitness pal before, weight watchers, no-carb diets, and even followed a diet prescribed by my doctor. I lose about 5 pounds in a month, and I give up. I need support for staying power. My husband has followed my fitness pal and lost 20 pounds. I see him with immediate results, and I become discouraged that I'm not seeing the weight come off for me. Anyone else in a similar situation? Anyone with a huge amount of weight to lose to commiserate with?
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  • Bessfish
    Bessfish Posts: 6 Member
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    I am so with you! My name is Mary Beth and I have atleast 60lbs to go and 80 if I am thinking about when I was young and fit. I am 46, a married mother of two boys 13 and 18. I am a ER RN who works the night shift. Of course that I focus on this and want to do it, I get a cold. My goal this week is to track what I put in my mouth! I do well most of the day but lose control in the evenings when I am off. My diet is mainly carbs with protein so I really need to focus on more veggies and portion control.
    I plan to take it a pound at a time, I get overwhelmed by how much I need to lose.
    Remember men tend to lose quicker than women, don't give up!
    I don't usually interact with people so I am trying to open up, maybe this will help.
    Sincerely,
    Mary Beth
  • reese66
    reese66 Posts: 2,920 Member
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    You can add me if you like.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    Hey everyone! I'm a 30 year old woman who has gained significant weight since the birth of my daughter 4 years ago. At first I attributed to baby weight, but I don't have an excuse anymore. I need to lose approximately 90 pounds to be in a healthy weight bracket for my height. It literally seems impossible to me. I have tried my fitness pal before, weight watchers, no-carb diets, and even followed a diet prescribed by my doctor. I lose about 5 pounds in a month, and I give up. I need support for staying power. My husband has followed my fitness pal and lost 20 pounds. I see him with immediate results, and I become discouraged that I'm not seeing the weight come off for me. Anyone else in a similar situation? Anyone with a huge amount of weight to lose to commiserate with?

    5 lbs a Month is NO JOKE...That is 60 lbs in a Year! If you would stick with that, BE REASONABLE in your expectations you would make it! Many REASONABLE People give themselves 2-3 years to lose 80-90 lbs. , sticking to a Plan. If you do not set reasonable goals, with Reasonable expectations, you may never succeed.
  • lunula76
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    Hi,
    I'm about 35 lbs in to a 70 lb weight loss. Nothing has ever worked before for me either.
    I think what is making this work now is that I am working really hard not to compare anything I am doing with anyone else. And not getting too down on myself when I don't have a good day. In the past I have really beat myself up when I slip and let it be a reason to give up completely. Not this time.

    I think its all about your headspace. I have challenged myself to get to a healthy weight - I have never been a healthy weight before and I want to see what its like. I won't let anyone take that away from me. Not even myself. I am constantly assessing where I am at and if I want something of a high caloric value I had better earn it but I am sticking as close to 1200 a day as I can. It is getting a little easier as I go on but it takes a lot of work and it is often two steps forward one step back.

    You can do it, you just need to give yourself the support and encouragement you need.
    Happy to help in any way I can
  • MrsM1ggins
    MrsM1ggins Posts: 724 Member
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    Hi :smile:

    The mountain I'm climbing is exactly the same size as the one you're standing at the bottom of, I'm just up ahead of you a bit because I started earlier.

    I know it looks like a huge number, but it's NOT impossible. Remember - you didn't put the weight on overnight, or in a couple of months - you need to understand that it'll come off slowly as well.

    Small steps...just keep on climbing!
  • brbjmb
    brbjmb Posts: 4 Member
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    Your husband loses weight more readily because (in general) men have more muscle mass - and muscle burns calories best!! Don't forget strength training for yourself as well to build your muscles / tone your body and burn those calories!! Good luck. We are all there with you!! No perfect, but on the journey :)
  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
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    Losing weight with kids in the house must be the hardest thing ever, you are all to be congratulated :drinker:

    My advice is to join a gym or a Y or a local swimming pool, anything outside the house where you can go and challenge your body. It also clears the mind and makes changes in your body that you never thought could happen. You don't have to do it every day, 3 times a week will work.

    Don't expect the scale to move very fast. Some weeks it will not move at all. DON'T STOP EXERCISING and eating right!

    Take your measurements TODAY and check them after a few weeks of your new regimen.

    YOU CAN DO THIS!
  • ameyc2002
    ameyc2002 Posts: 247 Member
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    add me 29 2 kids i still have about 50 pounds to go to be where i want to be.. when i get there it may go lower, but i am only 5'3 so thats alot for how short i am. i had trouble at first but you need to measure as well when scale isnt moving seems like the inches are..
  • birdshoup
    birdshoup Posts: 23 Member
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    I do well at work when I can control what I take for lunch and snacks. But on the weekends I am totally out of control. I guess I need to remember the serious reasons of why this weight needs to come off. I want to set a good example for my daughter. I will never forgive myself if she ends up like me at my age. Also, I want to be around for her. I can't stay this heavy and expect to live a long life.
  • lunula76
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    This is a really good point. Physician guidelines recommend no more than 1-2 lbs weight loss per week. The folks on the biggest loser and shows like that have way more weight to lose than you do and when you are starting at a 150+ weight loss it will come off more easily at the beginning. 5 lbs a month is awesome!
  • emsibun
    emsibun Posts: 208
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    Hi there,

    I've lost about 86 pounds in the past 13 months - I hit the goal weight I set myself on myfitness pal this week (I wrote a blog about it in case you are interested!).

    My youngest child was 4 when I started on this journey and I was in a similar situation to the one you find yourself in now. It's not impossible - believe in yourself.

    You CAN do this.
  • ameyc2002
    ameyc2002 Posts: 247 Member
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    it helps me to think if i eat like crazy on the weekend i could be undoing all my hard work
  • Jaded_GRL
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    When you start to get discouraged over loosing only 3, 5, or 10 pounds GO TO THE GROCERY STORE... go in the veggy section and pick up as many bags of potatos as you have lost in pounds. You only lost 5 pounds? throw that potato sack up on your hip like a baby. See HOW MUCH ROOM it takes up on your body? Now, carry it with you while you shop! Don't put it down. Notice the extra weight now? My mom had lost "Only" ten pounds and was giving up one time so I gave her two 5 pound bags of potatos to carry in the store - it really helps you visualize the weight.
    ALSO another idea is to not weigh at all until you have hit 30 days (REALLY HARD to do for most people). If you just make the eating lower calories and being active part of your life and then just HAPPEN to step on a scale in a month the all at once number change will be a big boost to get you thrrough another month. Instead of weighing, put on a pair of pants or a shirt that is a little snug. Use that as your guide, when it fits better you know your doing better. Because a lot of time the numbers on the scale don't move but your body changes shapes and your heart gets stronger.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,098 Member
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    You can lose that weight - no problem! Go to the "Success Stories" section in the Community. There is story after story of weight loss and health in that section.

    You won't do it perfectly at first. Don't be hard on yourself. Like anything, this is a learning process, and you will make mistakes.

    Carry on!!
  • msammerz
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    I completely understand where you are coming from. I have a similar situation. I have about 100 pounds that I need to lose and I feel like that I have tried everything. I recently starting to go to a weight loss doctor who has prescribed me with weigh loss drugs that have definitely helped me. I also understand where you are coming from with the way you feel about your husbands weight loss. My husband just has to think about losing weight and it will fall off. Let me know if you need anyone to talk to.
  • momof2osaurus
    momof2osaurus Posts: 477 Member
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    You can see my ticker! I started with 83 lbs to lose - and it definitely seems completely impossible some days. It helps me a lot if I don't think too much about the ultimate goal and instead focus on what I've done already. It sucks when it slows down/stops/the scale is possessed, but I really feel SO SO much better - and so in control of my eating/health, which I haven't felt in a long time.

    Good luck!!
  • rosied915
    rosied915 Posts: 799 Member
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    Hey Soul Sisters, don't leave me behind!!

    My stats are in my signature so you can see I easily had over 80 pounds to lose when I started.

    My progress is slow (almost painfully slow) but after a LIFETIME of battling my weight I believe I am approaching this with a much wiser mindset.

    I am NOT looking at the WHOLE picture of an 80 boulder to push UPHILL but am choosing to set MINI GOALS to keep me on steady ground.
    My first Mini was to get to ONEDERLAND and the 190s.
    Now, I'm heading to the 180s. And I'll just keep chipping away at it.

    When I get there, I get there. No time limit, no end. Put out the effort, check the results and tweak when necessary.

    Good Luck~ MFP is an awesome site and I've learned so much since I've been here~ you will too!
  • Jaded_GRL
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    I do well at work when I can control what I take for lunch and snacks. But on the weekends I am totally out of control. I guess I need to remember the serious reasons of why this weight needs to come off. I want to set a good example for my daughter. I will never forgive myself if she ends up like me at my age. Also, I want to be around for her. I can't stay this heavy and expect to live a long life.
    Then you can always combine your "out of control" weekends with some out of control exercise. That way you have earned those extra exercise calories to eat. Make it a long family bike ride or walk. Some basketball or volleyball. Indoor walking is good for cold weather seasons. Make a game out of it at the mall with your daughter by making a list of things you will see at the mall and speed walk around the mall tally marking off the stuff on your list.
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
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    Some things I have learned...
    1. In the first weeks of starting exercise program most folks gain weight because muscle weighs more than fat. SO don't just weigh yourself... MEASURE to see what your body is really doing.
    2. NEVER eat less than about 125O calories... OR try to loose too much too fast. Your body goes into starvation mode and retains fat.
    3. It took YEARS to put on the weight... eat HEALTHY (food pyramid) exercise regularly... and slowly it will come off.
    4. SLOW weight loss is most likely to stay off long term.
    5. DON"T "diet"... just learn to eat properly and exercise regularly. Make your goal "good health."
    6. Fill out your profile, particpate on these boards, add some friends who encourage you .... and HAVE FUN with it!!
    7. Don't deprive yourself. Learn to have just ONE bite of that cake. Total deprivation may lead to fast weight gain later.
    8. As you gained weight you probably had plateaus going up. Your body remembers these plateaus and will automatically plateau there again on the way down. Some refer to these as "set points." It may take some time and sometimes some adjustments to get past them.
    9. Mix it up. Vary your exercise from day to day and vary your menu. If you get bored you are less likely to be successful.
    10. Eat back at least SOME of your exercise calories. This motivates me to exercise more!


    "It matters not if we try and fail, and try and fail again. But it matters much if we try and fail and fail to try again."
  • MissKash
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    Hello, I'm right there with with having lots to lose and struggling most on the weekends. Feel free to add me if u like. We can support each other.