How do you stay motivated when stressed?

Neds1980 · February 2021

Hi everyone.

Life is extremely tough at the moment. Our child has developed a disability and it has quite literally turned our world upside down. We now have to liaise with Drs and other professionals. Lots of paperwork and meetings, which sometimes is not always noted correctly. We have also come across some staff who are not as supportive which compounds the stress!

How do you wonderful people cope with all the stress whilst trying to lose weight and hold down a full time job with a young family!?

I really want to stay motivated and focused. I want to sort out lots of other jobs that I have been putting off also as life has been overwhelming at times. I just want to get some control back and feel like I am looking after myself during this difficult time.

Thanks in advance!

cwolfman13 · February 2021

Motivation...IDK...for me, motivation is right up there with willpower in terms of being a finite commodity...there's only so much gas in that tank.

Regular exercise is the primary way I deal with my stress and anxiety...and I'm not talking about some punishing "workout". Yeah, a good session in the weight room or hard ride of over/under intervals on my bike can get out a lot of gunk...but for my mental health, walking has been a boon. I try to walk an hour everyday...if I can't, I try to do at least 30 minutes. This is my thinking time and my good "self-talk" time...just me and my feet and a travel mug of coffee for 30-60 minutes.

Sometimes, you also just have to give yourself grace. Losing weight isn't the be all and end all of all things. When my dad died in December 2013, it through my life completely upside down...he was my dad, but he was also my best friend and greatest confidant. I gave myself grace...there were other things I needed to do and take care of and losing weight was pretty low on that list. I eventually got myself back on my horse and ended up training and riding in the Tour de Cure for diabetes in his honor and memory...but I had to work some other things out for awhile before I got to that point.

2020 has been a crazy year for multiple reasons...there's COVID of course, which completely through my life and my family upside down...one day we were going to work and kids were going to school and the next we were locked down at home. On top of that, one of my best childhood friends passed away in an ice climbing accident just a couple of weeks before I was going to visit him with my kids. It's been a rough year in general and I haven't been in a good place at all...I gained back 20 of the 40 Lbs I lost years ago...but I've given myself grace. I'm just now getting back on my horse to continue the ride.

In the big picture, this is all a journey without a destination...even when you think you've reached a destination or an end, you will find that the journey continues.

I will say, weight loss aside, eating nutritionally well and regular exercise in general help me feel better and help me deal with my stressors and anxiety better...and I also find that when I focus on that, and doing the things I need to do for my health (both mental and physical), weight management (whatever that need may be) tends to follow suit...so weight loss, even if it's something I need to do (like I need to right now) isn't something I'm focused on. Right now I'm focused on just getting my crap together...eating well...exercising regularly, etc and the weight loss is just kind of taking care of itself.

Jthanmyfitnesspal · February 2021

I couldn't! I gained a lot of weight that I didn't lose until my 2nd child reached about 5y.

ninerbuff · February 2021

Stress has no impact on motivation for me. Because I'm so set with routine, it takes a lot to throw me off of it. Even when I go on vacation, I still exercise and bring my food scale except into a restaurant. I think a lot of people have a tendency to lose consistency when they go on vacation or something disrupts their regular routine. For me, I just get done what I need to get done that day regardless of what may be going on. It's rare when I don't.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

wunderkindking · February 2021

I am, fortunately, pretty set up on routine. Motivation and willpower are finite. I use most of both for what and how much food I bring into the house to start with.

If my ROUTINE is entirely disrupted, if I'm suddenly out of the house all the time, if something is breaking down my day to day habits, then I'm going to eat less well for my weight loss goals--

when the air clears I'll come up for air, shrug and go back to the routine.

Not set meals mind you but meal times and shopping habits and eating at home most of the time and meal times and so on.

Crap happens. Bad days happen. Bad WEEKS happen. Do the best you can with what you have when they do, then take a deep breath and go back to it.

But don't make weight loss the cente rof your life or such a "GO HARD" that it consumes your whole life. Way easier to disrupt that than 'the snack I buy myself in quantity is cottage cheese and I buy one salty and one sweet snack per grocery order'.

wunderkindking · February 2021

Also, please, the day I bring a food scale with me when I go out to eat, one of the rare times I do, someone come give me a good stern talking to about my priorities in life.

(Snark aside, no judgement for the guy who does but like. There are other ways to moderate and deal. That level of precision and dedication to weight loss/gain/maintain is not in the realm of reality for most people and for reasons involving *MENTAL* health and a healthy 'relationship' with food really should not be o.O. )

rosebarnalice · February 2021

I find when I'm stressed that I am grateful for logging and eating mindfully because sometimes it feels like the ONLY thing in my life over which I have control.

brenn24179 · February 2021

I finally decided I had rather be stressed and thin than stressed and fat. I am finally realizing all this food is not good, it is good at making me miserable.

PatriceFitnessPal · February 2021

@Neds1980 - I agree with some of the other comments that you sometimes have to put one goal on the back burner while prioritizing another goal, especially given the extra stress of the pandemic. Grace and self-care are important. Of course, as parents, we often have to treat our children’s priorities as our own. You don’t mention the nature of your child’s difference in development or learning but if you can align your own health goals with those of your child you might be able to eliminate some stress by saving time or getting things done with (some greater) efficiency. For example, a healthy diet benefits every family member so meals might be something you can plan together. Sometimes exercise can help focus a child with extra energy, etc. It’s also helpful to take the long view and not kick yourself for not quickly embedding new habits into your family’s daily routines. Just keep trying! The diagnostic phase can be the scariest and most frustrating, as everyone surfaces their own ‘agenda’ and negotiates next steps. If you can remember your own self-care - and remind all the new ‘child experts’ to actually keep the child and family at the center of all decisions - it can go along way in building a true partnership.

Mindfulness and meditation are universally good for stress relief and overall wellness. I try to start with deep breathes and build from there. Love can ground and lead you along the best path for you and your family. Best wishes!

Crazybeautyiful · February 2021

My unhealthy coping behaviors with extra stress have gotten me overweight- I am finally being honest with myself this past year, and having some success. I can go from the “freeze and fold” stage of anxiety - not getting off the couch and procrastinating everything- to overindulgence in unhealthy food and drinks. So far in the last 10 months I have been the busiest I’ve ever been- but am still losing slowly. I was redeployed back to critical care this year due to Covid, I taught 187 freshman nursing students in lecture this fall as a second job, had home schooling of children, full time nursing job and a home and husband to keep. Still above water- every day I make a list of priorities- keeping my physical and mental health at the top of the list. Focus on what will keep you feeling in control of your life- knowing your triggers- avoiding triggers - for me that’s ditching the occasional wine, making lunch, getting lots of sleep, successfully delegating tasks to the correct people ( I have been bad at delegating in the past- taking on the world) and a little bit of exercise can bring such clarity.

aquitteriamnot · February 2021

It’s hard. Life is like a roller coaster ride that you never get off. My circumstances are not exactly like yours but, the stress I have been dealing with for the last 5+ years is painfully overwhelming.

I am still dealing with a terrible situation but, my relationship with Jesus is stronger than ever, I pray more than I ever have before and I focus on doing God’s will not my own.

Has anything changed for the better? No, it’s worse now than ever. I can’t control the issues that life brings my way, but I can control my response to those problems.

You will always have to face circumstances that don’t go the way you hoped and when your child is involved; there are no words to describe how difficult life becomes. But your child needs to see you happy, healthy, fun and smiling. Try to remember that if you give your time and energy to negative circumstances it takes away from enjoying your precious little one.

It’s not easy, but do your best and try each day.

How do you stay motivated when stressed?

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