Just want to say hi and ask some as
kaylielewis3919
Posts: 5 Member
Every time I try a new diet the thing that beats me is stress, work, kids, home. If things overwhelm me then I go straight for the chocolate.
Does anyone have any ideas how to get passed this, I’d be so grateful for any support at this point as all my diet efforts have just been failing.
Does anyone have any ideas how to get passed this, I’d be so grateful for any support at this point as all my diet efforts have just been failing.
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Replies
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Hi, well it depends. You can always settle. Do you tend to over eat when you do eat chocolate? or are you satisfied with a piece or two? have you gone for dark chocolate instead? theres a lot of things you can do. what kind of other sweets do you like?1
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Unless you are going for huge amounts of chocolate most days it's not the chocolate that is derailing you.
More likely it's the thought "I've had some chocolate so might as well give up".
Don't seek to be perfect, seek to do your best and forgive yourself when you slip up. Each day is a fresh start.
Maybe allow yourself some chocolate, just not ALL the chocolate? It's also easier to modeate your intake when shopping rather than when it's at home calling to you "eat me, eat me, you know you want to" from the cupboard.
Really good chocolate in smaller portions perhaps?1 -
kaylielewis3919 wrote: »Every time I try a new diet the thing that beats me is stress, work, kids, home. If things overwhelm me then I go straight for the chocolate.
Does anyone have any ideas how to get passed this, I’d be so grateful for any support at this point as all my diet efforts have just been failing.
Its unlikely that you can get rid of all the stress, cos life is stressful at times, yay being a grown up! so you might need to look into other coping mechanisms for it, other than eating your feelings?
Also, I agree with @sijomial that just because you have eaten some chocolate, doesn't mean you have to give up on your diet altogether. The beauty of MFP is that you can eat chocolate all day and still lose weight, if you're in a calorie deficit. Obviously I wouldn't recommend that from a health and nutrition point of view, but you could if you wanted.2 -
Thank you for the advice, it does feel like a psychological issue, if I had 1 piece of chocolate in front of me and I knew there was no more then I’d probably be ok with that 1 piece however a box of chocolates in front of me and I can eat the whole box and not even realise that I feel full and uncomfortable.
If I lived on my own it wouldn’t be such a problem as I would just keep the shelves low on sweets, but the kids and husband, mother etc...all bring it home so it’s there, so I’m trying to find out, firstly, why I crave it the way I do and secondly, how do I stop.
I’ve also switched to dark recently but I recon I’m simply overeating and not noticing
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The most important thing is to stay within your calorie goal everyday. When you have a lot to do, weighing and measuring can fall by the wayside. It's especially important in the beginning. Try to find the time for that. Once you get it all down things get smoother. Best of luck. Just never give up.2
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kaylielewis3919 wrote: »Thank you for the advice, it does feel like a psychological issue, if I had 1 piece of chocolate in front of me and I knew there was no more then I’d probably be ok with that 1 piece however a box of chocolates in front of me and I can eat the whole box and not even realise that I feel full and uncomfortable.
If I lived on my own it wouldn’t be such a problem as I would just keep the shelves low on sweets, but the kids and husband, mother etc...all bring it home so it’s there, so I’m trying to find out, firstly, why I crave it the way I do and secondly, how do I stop.
I’ve also switched to dark recently but I recon I’m simply overeating and not noticing
But is that whole box (while obviously not ideal when dieting!) actually putting you into a calorie surplus that day?
If you have picked 1lb a week rate of loss you would have to be eating 500 cals of chocolate to wipe out that deficit.
Or if you used the weekly view of your calorie allowance what would be the impact of that box of chocs? Not a lot probably.
There's loads of tricks to try and de-stress dieting such as setting yourself to "maintain current weight" and regard just under-cutting that number as moving you closer to your ultimate goal. That could turn the thought that I've failed so might as well give up into the thinking today was an OK day. Maybe not a great day but OK really is good enough if you keep going.1 -
It sounds like you might benefit from talking to a mental health professional; someone like that can help you develop strategies and tools for dealing with life when it happens, because there will always be something going on. You cannot cloister yourself away from the world until you reach GW - even if that were logistically feasible for you, doing that doesn't teach you anything about how to roll with it when things get stressful, and if you think about this process as "a temporary thing I'm doing until ____" (whatever your ultimate goal is, whether that's weighing a certain amount, fitting in a certain size, having certain measurements, or being able to do certain things), then when you reach that goal, you're likely to go back to living the way you are now. Which is what's gotten you to the size you are now. And guess where you'll be in a year, two years, five years? Right back where you are now.3
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I generally ate 2 pounds’ish of chocolate a day. A family sized bag of M&Ms or Cadbury Crisoy eggs as a warmup in the morning, and bars in the afternoon and evening- supplemented by lots of Pepperidge Farm, Swiss Rolls, cake, pie, fresh breads.
I would look forward to the first bite, but a little while later realize that I had eaten 3/4 of the bag in a trance. I wouldn’t have any recollection of carrying it to my mouth, tasting it, chewing, swallowing. I just shoveled it in like an automaton.
The only thing that worked for me was going through the pantry (and hiding places- there was a lot of guilt and shame) and giving away anything I perceived as “bad”. When I first started that was pretty much everything, and I was harsh on myself.
I figured that if I could eat that mindlessly on higher calorie things, I could do it with “better” foods as well.
I also cut the sodas out. For some people alcohol leads to bad food decisions. For me it was sodas. Had to have a bag of chips with the sodas, right?
Not having them in the hiuse was a huge help. I’d still prowl and look but I was too embarrassed- and too lazy- to make a special trip out for sweets.
The other thing that really helped me in the beginning- and this is probably my own brain fartedness- I made a smoothie for breakfast every single morning that had a few grams of cocoa powder. I convinced myself it tasted like a Wendy’s Frosty, and soon it actually tasted like a really luxurious treat- even though it was only about 250 calories. I was having a treat for breakfast. This diet thing wasn’t so bad!!! Yay! I managed to replace bags of candy with that smoothie. That was what really kickstarted me. Wierd, huh? But you’ve got to experiment to find what works for you, what best to fool your tastebuds, your blind habits.
These days, I have grudgingly learned to love sugar free products and, now that real sugar no longer rules me, they actually don’t taste bad at all. I’m not overjoyed at the chemical cocktail, but I figure the extra ninety pounds alternative was a damn sight worse for me than the sugar free one.
And I do eat treats now. Sunday’s are gourmet donut days, I may have caloric wiggle room for a small dark chocolate bar, I rave here about Lidl bakery peanut butter cookies. But I now thoroughly enjoy a big bowl of fruit and cottage cheese with a fruity balsamic vinegar almost every day, as my main daily treat.
If you can get over the first hurdle, chocolate and sugar will release its hold over your life. You’ve just got to do it.1 -
Some of the things that help me:
Don't have "it" in the house. There are things my husband will eat that I won't, so we buy those and then I'm not tempted. This is best if I'm trying to give something up entirely. I would have to take this approach if I were ill, as I find myself eating carbs to keep my energy levels up when I'm unwell, instead of just accepting that it's temporary and resting.
Have plenty of "it" in the house. I find if it's there - and preferably of the variety that is easy to portion out (Creme Eggs are my current favourite, also Cadburys Buttons, or fun-size bars) - then I can have a little within my calorie allowance and forget about it. If we're running out, I start feeling like I may never see chocolate again and get stronger cravings.
I like to keep busy in front of the TV - cross stitch is my favourite thing. I don't even need the TV any more, though I do like background noise. I find I don't really want to put it down to have a snack most of the time.
Mindfulness helps control my stress, which in turn helps with my reactions to it. This weekend I decided that instead of dwelling on things I don't know/can't control (all came at once, naturally..) I would channel the energy into getting stuff done. I crossed a load of things off my to-do list, and now I'm too exhausted to be stressed. Also a bit tired to be focusing on work so maybe I went a little far...
My challenge for February was replacing "bad" snacks (crisps, chocolate etc) with fruit and veg to make sure I was hitting my 5 a day. If I use the calories on fruit and veg, I've less available for chocolate so I have to moderate my portions. I also read a few people on here talking about whether foods were worth the calories and that really resonated. For me, chocolate IS worth it, but I would like to eat a normal portion, not binge on it.
I know that something could happen - like getting injured or extremely stressed - which would make it much harder to stick to my plan, so whilst my mindset is spot on I've put a lot of thought into what that plan looks like, and I'm working hard to build the habits/implement small changes that I can hopefully maintain when I feel like stuffing my face with the entire chocolate aisle at the local shop. It probably helps that I don't frame the plan as a diet, it's just a structure to what I'm putting in my body (and doing with my body).1 -
@DD265
Were we separated at birth?
Would also like to add, hot sweet drinks help me curb my appetite for sweets.
Two or three times a day, I make a delicious sugar free chai with 3gr Blue Lotus Masala Chai mix, Jordan’s Salted Caramel Skinny Syrup, a couple TBSP fat free half and half, and if I’m feeling it, 1/4c frothed skim milk. It’s 40 calories with the skim, and 20 without. The scent is divine and it takes a long time to drink.4 -
kaylielewis3919 wrote: »Thank you for the advice, it does feel like a psychological issue, if I had 1 piece of chocolate in front of me and I knew there was no more then I’d probably be ok with that 1 piece however a box of chocolates in front of me and I can eat the whole box and not even realise that I feel full and uncomfortable.
If I lived on my own it wouldn’t be such a problem as I would just keep the shelves low on sweets, but the kids and husband, mother etc...all bring it home so it’s there, so I’m trying to find out, firstly, why I crave it the way I do and secondly, how do I stop.
I’ve also switched to dark recently but I recon I’m simply overeating and not noticing
But is that whole box (while obviously not ideal when dieting!) actually putting you into a calorie surplus that day?
If you have picked 1lb a week rate of loss you would have to be eating 500 cals of chocolate to wipe out that deficit.
Or if you used the weekly view of your calorie allowance what would be the impact of that box of chocs? Not a lot probably.
There's loads of tricks to try and de-stress dieting such as setting yourself to "maintain current weight" and regard just under-cutting that number as moving you closer to your ultimate goal. That could turn the thought that I've failed so might as well give up into the thinking today was an OK day. Maybe not a great day but OK really is good enough if you keep going.kaylielewis3919 wrote: »Thank you for the advice, it does feel like a psychological issue, if I had 1 piece of chocolate in front of me and I knew there was no more then I’d probably be ok with that 1 piece however a box of chocolates in front of me and I can eat the whole box and not even realise that I feel full and uncomfortable.
If I lived on my own it wouldn’t be such a problem as I would just keep the shelves low on sweets, but the kids and husband, mother etc...all bring it home so it’s there, so I’m trying to find out, firstly, why I crave it the way I do and secondly, how do I stop.
I’ve also switched to dark recently but I recon I’m simply overeating and not noticing
But is that whole box (while obviously not ideal when dieting!) actually putting you into a calorie surplus that day?
If you have picked 1lb a week rate of loss you would have to be eating 500 cals of chocolate to wipe out that deficit.
Or if you used the weekly view of your calorie allowance what would be the impact of that box of chocs? Not a lot probably.
There's loads of tricks to try and de-stress dieting such as setting yourself to "maintain current weight" and regard just under-cutting that number as moving you closer to your ultimate goal. That could turn the thought that I've failed so might as well give up into the thinking today was an OK day. Maybe not a great day but OK really is good enough if you keep going.kaylielewis3919 wrote: »Thank you for the advice, it does feel like a psychological issue, if I had 1 piece of chocolate in front of me and I knew there was no more then I’d probably be ok with that 1 piece however a box of chocolates in front of me and I can eat the whole box and not even realise that I feel full and uncomfortable.
If I lived on my own it wouldn’t be such a problem as I would just keep the shelves low on sweets, but the kids and husband, mother etc...all bring it home so it’s there, so I’m trying to find out, firstly, why I crave it the way I do and secondly, how do I stop.
I’ve also switched to dark recently but I recon I’m simply overeating and not noticing
But is that whole box (while obviously not ideal when dieting!) actually putting you into a calorie surplus that day?
If you have picked 1lb a week rate of loss you would have to be eating 500 cals of chocolate to wipe out that deficit.
Or if you used the weekly view of your calorie allowance what would be the impact of that box of chocs? Not a lot probably.
There's loads of tricks to try and de-stress dieting such as setting yourself to "maintain current weight" and regard just under-cutting that number as moving you closer to your ultimate goal. That could turn the thought that I've failed so might as well give up into the thinking today was an OK day. Maybe not a great day but OK really is good enough if you keep going.
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Thanks so much, these are such great insights, I’ll be speaking to a mental health professional regarding the emotional eating as it’s been an issue as long as I can remember, I also had a 2lb loss goal per week set which I now feel was too much of a strain right at the start, I think I just wanted to run before I was walking but then I’m used to yo-yo diets that offer quick results that last 5mins so this is a whole near outlook for me.
I will be hitting the cupboards hard and getting in “goodies” that I care for the least but I know the kids will eat (and the big kid of course) that should be a good start.
I’ll keep posting on the progress, thank you so much to everyone, it’s helped no end hearing your suggestion and own experience.3 -
Once I realized the source of my stress and cut the controlling family members out of my life, it became so much easier.
Everything became easier.
Thank God for a supportive husband.1 -
That is so much like my own situation, only I haven’t been able to cut the controlling elements out yet which is proving very tough.0
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kaylielewis3919 wrote: »Thanks so much, these are such great insights, I’ll be speaking to a mental health professional regarding the emotional eating as it’s been an issue as long as I can remember, I also had a 2lb loss goal per week set which I now feel was too much of a strain right at the start, I think I just wanted to run before I was walking but then I’m used to yo-yo diets that offer quick results that last 5mins so this is a whole near outlook for me.
I will be hitting the cupboards hard and getting in “goodies” that I care for the least but I know the kids will eat (and the big kid of course) that should be a good start.
I’ll keep posting on the progress, thank you so much to everyone, it’s helped no end hearing your suggestion and own experience.
I don't have kids, but my husband and I each have our own 'treat tin' with goodies we each like in. Whatever is in his I don't touch, it's not mine.
Maybe a cupboard or shelf with the kids stuff on would help, so you know its not yours to eat?3
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