I am here! What now?

TheHappyLoser
TheHappyLoser Posts: 95 Member
edited February 2021 in Getting Started
The last time I attempted to lose weight was in 2016. It didn't work. I gave up.

My husband told me he would quit drinking if I lose 100 pounds. It bothered me. Now I am glad he said it. He doesn't know it but he will have to give up drinking eventually. I need to lose 150 pounds to be under 200. Overwhelming, a bit.

What know? Depriving me of food doesn't work. But overeating doesn't work either. I am like an addict. I have food on my mind all the time.

I know I would like to detox, get all the fast-food and sugar out of my system. I always wanted to do it like all the people around me. Why? I don't know it sounds healthy and I need to get healthy.

Do I log after eating or plan ahead?
Should I try different diets or just eat less?
Can I ignore Keto and low carb and enjoy carbs in moderation.
Palm-size portion meat, double size vegetables. Old school?
Small meals 5 x a day or 3 meals?
Liquid meals?
Is diet coke still ok?
Is low fat still in? My arteries could use a break.
I always wanted to try the Mediterranean diet.
Do I need a kitchen scale?

I have eight friends. :blush: I am not alone.

I want this for me.
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Replies

  • TheHappyLoser
    TheHappyLoser Posts: 95 Member

    and your husband sounds like a jerk. He may have meant well, but was not kind about it. My husband quit drinking, but that was because he realized (on his own) that he could drink or continue being married to me. He has never EVER commented on my weight or criticized me for it.

    He never brought up my weight, until I started nagging about his drinking. I suppose I had it coming. One day I might thank him. Looks like it was what I needed.

    It was great reading your advice. It gives me lots to work with. Thanks.
  • TheHappyLoser
    TheHappyLoser Posts: 95 Member
    yirara wrote: »
    Is diet coke still ok? Coke Zero Sugar is better, IMO.

    This x1000 :D

    Or just drink normal coke, and account for it in your daily calories budget.

    Really, two things:
    a) it doesn't matter how you eat and when, all matters is the amount of calories. A scientist proofed the point by eating only Twinkies, but in a calorie deficit. And he lost weight. Sure, it's not really healthy and lacks nutrients, but for weight loss all that counts is eating less. That's pretty cool, eh?

    b) but that means you need to count your calories as good as possible. Nobody would be overweight if we could estimate the calories of the food we eat. We just can't. Thus a food scale is key here

    Oh, lets add c) You say you always think of food. Why? When particularly? What would make you stop thinking of food? Are you bored? Try to find something you like and that distracts you. Don't say: but it's winter now, or I'm not good enough to do xyz. Just start something that sounds interesting, get winter clothes from a thrift shop if needed, doesn't matter. Just avoid boredom or whatever is causing you to think of food.

    Oh, and d) Tell your husband to shove it! Either he's in or not. If he wants you to lose weight first then that's rather unkind. Maybe do it together: lose weight and stop drinking.

    I can't eat one or two Twinkies, I eat them all. I feel that sugar is an addiction for me.

    I think about food because it's what I do. Food and eating is major in my life. Childhood issues I need to resolve. I am thinking about going to therapy. It can't hurt.

    Thank you for your reply.
  • TexasRose1820
    TexasRose1820 Posts: 8 Member
    Good Luck to you TheHappyLoser, I know you can do it! Little by little, it will come off! For me, I had to switch from Cokes to flavored sparkling waters, and I don't get those cravings for sodas any more. If I do want something sweet at then end of a dinner, I just break off a piece of dark chocolate and it seems to satisfy that need. You are definitely not alone; we are your cheering section!
  • steveko89
    steveko89 Posts: 2,214 Member
    I can't eat one or two Twinkies, I eat them all. I feel that sugar is an addiction for me.

    I saw this quote the other day and really saw truth to it "A mistake that happens more than once is a decision"

    IMO things like food/sugar addiction gets tossed around as a concept because there's comfort in finding a cause beyond a lack of our own accountability.

    I know I would like to detox, get all the fast-food and sugar out of my system.
    - Like some others mentioned, you don't need a detox or a cleanse. If you want to choose to no longer eat fast food or limit sugar, great, but it's not a prerequisite to lose weight.

    Do I log after eating or plan ahead?
    - I'm a big fan of pre-logging but batch cooking/meal prepping isn't my preference. I pretty much eat the same thing everyday for breakfast and lunch so I can pre-log that very easily. My wife and I will at least have a conversation about what to do for dinner a day in advance. I log the most of my day right before bed the night prior or first thing in the morning.

    Should I try different diets or just eat less?
    - Despite many claims to the contrary, any named diet causes weight loss by triggering a calorie deficit. If a specific diet or way of eating helps you get to a calorie deficit, go for it. Again, it's not necessary to follow any particular diet to lose weight. I had really good success early on by just logging what I was eating and seeing where the calories and macros fell. It was really easy to see where the low-effort opportunities were to reduce empty calories or make portion adjustments.

    Can I ignore Keto and low carb and enjoy carbs in moderation.
    - Yes. I've yet to see a decent study that shows anything magic about keto and fat loss. People like the big initial weight losses to make it seem like they've found something special while the majority of that initial scale movement is water weight loss. (it's a 3:1 ratio of g water to g carbohydrate so when you limit carbs your body hangs on to much less water).

    Palm-size portion meat, double size vegetables. Old school?
    - Get a food scale. They're like $10 and people are awful at estimating.

    Small meals 5 x a day or 3 meals?
    -Doesn't matter. If we're really getting into the weeds there are some fringe performance and MPS advantages with meal timing for elite athletes and physique competitors but nothing really applicable for the average dieter.

    Liquid meals?
    - There are pros and cons. There's some evidence of brain chemistry and the act of chewing and swallowing that relates to satiety. Unless it's a casein protein shake (which is designed to be slow release/digesting) most protein sources in liquid form are pretty quick to digest and thus, also not great for satiety. That said, as someone with strength and physique aspirations, getting enough protein without liquid protein supplementation is a tall order. Though, I have not found this to be a significant impediment in my ability to manage my weight.

    Is diet coke still ok?
    -Yes

    Is low fat still in? My arteries could use a break.
    - See above regarding specific diets. Additionally, unless you have a diagnosed medical issue, bodily function do not need breaks or resets or detoxes. It's recommended that you get 20%-35% of your daily calories from fat. Yes, not all fats are the same, but eating too much fat, independent of calorie content, isn't what makes people fat.

    I always wanted to try the Mediterranean diet.
    - See above regarding specific diets. I'll also note that the genesis of promoting the Mediterranean diet was an evaluation of the occurrence of coronary heart disease in those countries vs. northern Europe and North America. A correlation was discovered but I've never seen anything studied with respect to weight and/or calories. I would speculate that following the Mediterranean diet but following American tendencies for portions would not end favorably for weight loss or heart health.

    Do I need a kitchen scale?
    - It's highly recommended. Even those who are diligent using volumetric measures find better accuracy and success using a food scale. Again, they're like $10 and you'll not make a better investment to support your weight loss goal.

    I want this for me.
    - Good. Right now you're motivated and have all the best intentions to succeed. Use this positive energy to foster discipline and healthy habits that will make it easier for you to stay the course and keep working towards your goals when that motivation starts to fade or when you have a hard day. Losing 100 lbs is a big goal and will take quite a bit of time but it's completely doable if you have the right mindset. It's far less about finding the perfect diet and/or the perfect plan and more about being consistent and having the perseverance to keep going when things haven't been perfect or you haven't necessarily seen the scale move as much as you were hoping/expecting.
  • TheHappyLoser
    TheHappyLoser Posts: 95 Member
    steveko89 wrote: »
    I can't eat one or two Twinkies, I eat them all. I feel that sugar is an addiction for me.

    I saw this quote the other day and really saw truth to it "A mistake that happens more than once is a decision"

    IMO things like food/sugar addiction gets tossed around as a concept because there's comfort in finding a cause beyond a lack of our own accountability.

    I assume you never smoked? People know it's unhealthy and continue to smoke. They try to quit. Fail, try again.
    Harsh judgment on your end.

    Any addiction (alcohol/sugar/drugs/cigarette/gambling and many more) is not just a lack of own accountability or a decision it's much more complicated. Sugar does something to my brain and body I can't explain.

    I didn't read what you wrote after that. Self-defense on my end! That was a decision!
  • Poobah1972
    Poobah1972 Posts: 943 Member
    edited February 2021
    I can't eat one or two Twinkies, I eat them all. I feel that sugar is an addiction for me.

    I think about food because it's what I do. Food and eating is major in my life. Childhood issues I need to resolve. I am thinking about going to therapy. It can't hurt.

    Thank you for your reply.

    Lots of good comments here...

    It was mentioned that you don't detox from sugar / carbs... But that's depends on how any individual defines the word. I personally believe sugar to some of us, me included does induce what feels very similar to a detox off drugs. (I've detoxed off drugs, rehab the whole nine yards.).

    And I know all to well what it's like to stop by a grocery store, and buy a box of "Ah Carmels" squares then sit in my car and eat the entire box by myself, while I casually look around and make sure no one is watching me.

    Sugar does affect dopamine levels in the brain, and there have been many studies on this. Here's just a quick clip..

    "Sugar can also disrupt dopamine levels as the brain becomes used to high levels of sugar. In fact, both the gene expression and availability of dopamine receptors can be altered in certain areas of the brain from consuming too much sugar over a long period of time."

    The above if true, then would suggest when your not full of sugar you could find yourself feeling run down, or generally depressed. That makes sense, cause the first thing I always wanted to do after work, was stuff my face. Some how I felt better afterwards. And the roller coaster of insulin response can be crushing.

    Based on your comments, I would suggest Keto or variation of might be just what you need. I couldn't not stop myself from getting crap in my system for many months straight. After about day 5 or so of keto, all those urges disappeared. I haven't stopped anywhere in 7 weeks. I have no cravings for sugar. (The detox is over).

    Personally I'm a Keto guy.. And I still get to eat almost all the same great foods I always love... Minus some obvious items. But I eat Strip loin or Prime Rib steak once a week, Porkchops, roasted chicken with the skin on.. Bacon and eggs and (low carb toast)... Life it actually good, and I eat well.

    Best of luck to you. You can really do it, it's just a matter of time and putting in the effort.
  • goal06082021
    goal06082021 Posts: 2,130 Member
    Do I log after eating or plan ahead?
    I find it easier to stick to my budget if I plan ahead. I prepare breakfast and lunch for the week on the weekends, so I already know what those are going to be, and I plan out dinners such that I only need to cook 2-3 nights a week and it's easy to log leftovers the next day.

    Should I try different diets or just eat less?
    The only way to lose weight is to stay in a calorie deficit. All those different diets ultimately work by creating that calorie deficit. The great thing about MFP and calorie counting in general is that there are no forbidden foods. No matter what diet plan you're following, if it's a name brand or not, if calories in is more than calories out, you will gain. If calories in is less than calories out, you will lose. It's simple physics, end of. You can lose weight eating nothing but Big Macs and you can gain weight eating nothing but boiled chicken and broccoli.

    Can I ignore Keto and low carb and enjoy carbs in moderation.
    Unless your personal licensed medical doctor has told you specifically to avoid carbs, you can eat carbs and lose weight. Not some guy in a lab coat on TV or Youtube, not some article you dug out of some wretched corner of the internet. Your personal doctor, advising you personally as their patient. Anyone else is blowing smoke and should be ignored.

    Palm-size portion meat, double size vegetables. Old school?
    Nah, that's still a pretty good quick-and-dirty way to estimate portion sizes if you aren't able to weigh your food for whatever reason. Watch out for condiments (butter, dipping sauce, salad dressing, etc) though.

    Small meals 5 x a day or 3 meals?
    Up to you.

    Liquid meals?
    Also up to you, but most people don't find liquids nearly as satiating as solid food, so they end up eating the meal they were trying to replace anyway.

    Is diet coke still ok?
    If you've got a multiple-cans-a-day habit, maybe try to replace at least some of that with plain water. I'm not up to date on the latest science around artificial sweeteners but I also don't like diet sodas anyway so I just don't drink them. There's about ten million brands of flavored seltzer out now, if you miss the bubbles or your tap water tastes bad.

    Is low fat still in? My arteries could use a break.
    Again, consult your specific licensed medical professional regarding your dietary fat intake, but dietary fat does not become body fat unless you eat more than your body burns in a day (and we're back to CICO). You do need some fat in your diet in order to properly digest some vitamins, so don't avoid it completely. I'd be wary of "low-fat" versions of food that naturally contain some amount of fat, though; usually they replace the fat with sugar to make it palatable, which is a problem for obvious reasons.

    I always wanted to try the Mediterranean diet.
    What's stopping you?

    Do I need a kitchen scale?
    Yes. I won't hedge here and say iF yOu WaNt, absolutely go buy a food scale right now. I got my Escali on Amazon for thirty bucks. It comes in pink (or whatever your favorite color is). Weigh and log every gram of everything that passes your lips. The goal is to maintain that deficit of calories in being less than calories out. There's not a good way to directly measure calories out - even heart rate monitors and similar fitness wearables are using algorithms to estimate your calorie burn - but you can damn well measure calories in, by weighing your food in grams. (And make sure you're picking accurate entries from the MFP database to log that food.)
  • TheHappyLoser
    TheHappyLoser Posts: 95 Member
    Poobah1972 wrote: »

    It was mentioned that you don't detox from sugar / carbs... But that's depends on how any individual defines the word. I personally believe sugar to some of us, me included does induce what feels very similar to a detox off drugs. (I've detoxed off drugs, rehab the whole nine yards.).

    Congratulation on overcoming a terrible addiction. Thank you for your reply.

    Sugar treats, cakes, pies, cookies, all of it. Old reward system. Good grades in school = Icecream. Mowed the yard = chocolate. Birthday = more candy.

    It gives me a high and energy. Not for long though.

    No sugar yesterday or today. My brain is yelling: Sweets, sweets.

    I hope you will accept my friend request.
  • TheHappyLoser
    TheHappyLoser Posts: 95 Member
    Do I log after eating or plan ahead?


    I always wanted to try the Mediterranean diet.
    What's stopping you?

    Question of the week. Too complicated? Not enough food? Too different?

    All excuses. It's a go. I will try the Mediterranean diet. Thanks.
  • Poobah1972
    Poobah1972 Posts: 943 Member
    edited February 2021
    Congratulation on overcoming a terrible addiction. Thank you for your reply.

    Sugar treats, cakes, pies, cookies, all of it. Old reward system. Good grades in school = Icecream. Mowed the yard = chocolate. Birthday = more candy.

    It gives me a high and energy. Not for long though.

    No sugar yesterday or today. My brain is yelling: Sweets, sweets.

    I hope you will accept my friend request.

    Thank you... But for me, it's sort of like being an alcoholic, at least thus far my life has taught me that refined sugars is a very slippery slope for me. So I'm very happy to have broke fee of the hold sugar had on me.

    Years ago, when I successfully lost 200 plus pounds, I didn't cheat, not even with a single square of chocolate, or a single hard candy for close to 3 years. Then one family get together, my former girlfriend and I decided to have 1 piece of pie at thanks giving. That was the beginning of my decent into madness (well aside from moving out of town and away from the gym). lol

    I understand that the above seems sort of dramatic etc... And obviously I should be able at some point in my life be able to stray slightly without falling off the wagon, but at the same time, that has been my experience. To combat this, my fiancé and I have found some deserts we can enjoy during family get together while other people eat cake etc. Like a Microwaved "melty" Quest chocolate chip cookie with a nice big Tablespoon of Halo Ice cream. Or a Slice of "choose your flavor" low carb pudding pie made with low carb crust topped with whipped cream. There is also good low carb chocolate cake, and or lava cake options you can make in minutes in a jar etc. This all goes a long way in preventing cravings for things over the long run... Heck there is even something called Lily's Salted Almond Chocolate bars, (they double size bars) and they taste divine and only have ~3 carbs and ~180 calories. To not have to much of a good thing, I only have the chocolate on Fridays. The moral of the story is I don't feel deprived of the sweet and tasty things in life.

    Ultimately though, Getting closer to goal and manipulating my diet and learning to successfully maintain my weight may be the most difficult part of this journey. Vigilance and continued determination will likely be key.

    Friend request Accepted! :smiley:

    If you ever do choose to go low carb or keto, I'd be happy to assist you in any which way I can.

    PS,,, You didn't log your supper last night? What's up with that?
  • TheHappyLoser
    TheHappyLoser Posts: 95 Member
    Poobah1972 wrote: »

    PS,,, You didn't log your supper last night? What's up with that?

    I did, but late. Half of my favorite Subway sandwich. Still under my calories. High Five!

    I got a kitchen scale. Makes my portions so much smaller.
  • Poobah1972
    Poobah1972 Posts: 943 Member
    I did, but late. Half of my favorite Subway sandwich. Still under my calories. High Five!

    I got a kitchen scale. Makes my portions so much smaller.

    Ah good job! You're actually my first bud here, and I never checked someone else's food journal before... So I thought I'd let you know someone was watching. lol

    And seriously.... Good Job on getting a scale, a huge part of staring right is becoming intimately aware of food portions and macro content. There is quite a bit to learn, if your haven't done that sort of thing before.

    You get a gold star! :wink:
  • ggeise14
    ggeise14 Posts: 386 Member
    Some good advice above. Chiming in to add -- just start. Start - N O W. Start with small changes and go from there. If you stumble during the day, or with one choice, don't wait for tomorrow, get back on track today, the next meal or choice you have to make.

    Wishing you success!