people who don't eat enough

When you are wrong, is when you need your friends the most.

She wasn't on that hcg diet was she? I don't understand why people pay money to do that to themselves.. I don't care who you are 500 calories isn't enough even if the hcg drops don't make you hungry

I have seen this too. Some people who I am friends with and who I actively tell them they are not eating enough, have some of their friends say "way to be under your goal" or "great logging" when they are eating 700-800 calories a day...I know there are times to be positive but not when someone is starving themselves...

Many times I forget to log into my food diary. I hope it's the case that you have observed people simply forgetting everything that he or she eats.

It's a tough call via social media because we through the word "friend" around so casually. If you know this person in "real life," then I would agree that it's good for you to say something. But if she's just a MFP friend and you've never even had a phone conversation, then it gets trickier. At that point you have to ask yourself, will she even hear what you're saying, or will she just harden her position in defiance of your "criticisms"?

I think this message board conversation you started is probably the best thing you could do. It raises the issue for discussion without singling out an individual.

Most importantly, keep rocking it yourself. I think we all lead best by example anyway.

Peace & Passion,
Curtis

This has been bothering me for awhile.

There is a MFP 'friend' I have who doesn't eat nearly enough. We're talking eating disorder territory. I just deleted her because I can't deal with reading the positive comments she gets for destroying her body.

I really wanted to tell her that she is not doing herself any good, even wrote out a msg, and comments, none of which I posted. I didn't post or send because I thought that they would be unwanted, and I might come across as pushy or sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.

I know there are recovering and active ED people on MFP and I hope everyone is getting what they need from it. But I just cannot stand the cheerleading that can happen when someone only eats 500 cals/day. Also be by being "friends' with her, and not saying anythin, it felt kinda like condoning it.


ANyone else feel this way?

I have a MFP friend who is the same category as your friend but mine does not think she is in the eating disorder category. I feel the same as you. Many times, I have typed in the message but then deleted it...thinking that I am probably not the right person to advise her. my MFP pal thinks she knows a lot about nutrition, etc.... She has lost a ton of weight that I did. So, I feel that I am not in the best position to advise her...... Anyways, long story short. I try to encourage her in the area of fitness but not in the areas of nutrition. :-(

Well that is hard to say really. Because as a matter of fact would she have listened? If you try to tell her at this point she will shrug it off and get mad or think you are jealous lol. That is how eating disorders can be. I used to be borderline anorixic, and Body dismorphia. I stll think i have a tendencies to go over bord Im never in the middle and im working on that.

Sometimes you can try to talk to them and let her know when she realizes it isnt a good thing she is doing you are there for her you can help her in that way but until she can then you cant be friends. I would have at least told her that or something like that . you know plant a seed there so she can be somewhat aware. All she heres now is the praise because no onw knows what she is doing to get there or understand y its dangerous. But once she starts realizing it then she will at least know she can come to you at that point

I completely agree with you! I have seen a couple of my friends do that, along with working out and burning extra calories when they are already in a deficit. PLEASE if you wanto to lose weight and not screw up your metabolism you have to eat

Other people encourage this behavior of under 1,000 calories/day. I don't understand this is not accomplishing anything for the person starving themselves.

What surprises me too, adults encouraging younger ones to eat less than 1000! Mothers supporting starvation. Would they support THEIR child to starve?

I've had a couple friends who undereat and I have to say something. I comment once or twice, guide them to the pitfalls of malnutrtion and encourage them to read posts about starvation mode etc.

If they choose to ignore my advice then I dont post on their diaries anymore. They now know how I feel about it and therefore shouldnt expect me to encourage something I dont agree with.

That being said I feel I've done my job as a 'friend' and just support their exercise and other things. I've noticed that people that undereat dont stick around too long anyhow, so I dont need to delete them!

Good luck :flowerforyou:

And if they have a real disorder, they're probably aware. If they DON'T, then your comments could possibly push them to disordered territory.

I don't think anorexia has been shown to be caused by people being told to eat more. It's got a genetic component, and there's lots of debate as to what environmental factors contribute, but being told to eat more is probably more a red flag for an eating disorder than it is a cause. I really doubt that when people experience serious health consequences of eating disorders they say, "Oh, if only that stranger hadn't told me my dangerous habits were dangerous that one time weeks/months/years ago, then I wouldn't have been pushed to keep doing them..."

I mean, maybe your friend doesn't track everything, maybe they're under super-supervision, maybe they're planning on doing a really low calorie thing for only a certain period of time and they'll quit next week and go on to live a non-disordered healthy life. But worst case scenario, they're going to be greatly, righteously offended by a comment that tells them to eat more, not life-ruined.

I do think the water is muddied on mfp by the largish number of people who appear to be on very restricted calorie diets and think that that is a good way to lose weight. I do think, once you're restricting this much, you're in disordered eating terrain, even if you don't have a diagnosable eating disorder.

With regards to your friend, to be honest, I'm not sure that sending her a message will have much impact. Chances are she will just brush it off, and probably have a good whinge to her other friends about it.

Sadly, weightloss and eating disorders go hand in hand. Its easy to see rapid weight loss when you juststop eating all together, which normally is difficult to sustain in the long run

I agree that people only hear what they want to hear but if it was bothering you enough to start this topic then you probably should have at least sent her a private message. Abandoning someone because you feel that strongly about their habits without actually making your feelings known is kind of...ehh.

A goal is something to be reached, not avoided. I try to get as close to my goal as possible whether it ends up being a little over or under. I don't condone the idea of congratulating anybody on their day without looking at the diary first. I usually try to note in mine if the day is "off" my norm for any reason. It is also a good way to tell who is really checking for the facts & who is a blind cheerleader too.