Etiquette regarding direct messages
kaytyl2
Posts: 142 Member
Since restarting I've had a few DM's from guys saying Hey new friend, how's my journey going etc or telling me all about their fitness achievements/ days activity etc and asking about mine. I'm inclined to ignore them as these messages could be posted on my main page. However, I don't want to be rude especially as I've asked for active people to add me. Do you normally respond to direct messages on MFP?
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Replies
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It's not rude to ignore DMs. You don't owe anyone your attention. Listen to your gut, if you're skeeved out it's for a reason.8
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Tbh I never get any. If I had guys approaching me directly via PM with general chit chat, I’d be uneasy, particularly if they asked me for direct contact info outside of MFP.
I’ll be honest and say, I’ve booted a couple of male “friends” who posted way too many body shots for comfort. I never want to have to explain to my husband why I’m looking at some guy’s ripped chest, any more than I’d want him to explain to me why he was looking at some chick’s exposed chest. I’m happy for that user, and maybe he just wants to share his hard work, but maybe he’s trolling for women. 🤷🏻♀️ I’m not interested in finding out.
Otoh there’s a couple of frequent posters here I’ve PM’d with briefly. That’s OK, because they’re legit users, and not a lurker. Does that make sense? I’m more comfortable with someone I see posting frequently, intelligently, engaged in the subject at hand, and well spoken.13 -
Were they people you engaged with in other threads or have you sent out or accepted their friend requests? If yes, then seems weird to just ignore. But if no, then yeah, I guess you could ignore them. I only had one person so far that I had to remove because of weird DMs. He kept mentioning wrestling, and I don't wrestle, so it made me think he meant a non-sports related type wrestling...😒6
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@DancingMoosie they need to reinstate the hahaha reaction. Non sports wrestling, indeed.5
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You have a conundrum there, from your description many probably are responding in line (their eyes) to your request for active friends. Maybe you should post this topic to your wall, and indicate you luv the group sharing but aren't big into DM communication.7
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@DancingMoosie 😂 Non sport wrestling! Your instincts were probably right!😂2
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Thanks for your responses all. I'm thinking I will go for the middle ground and respond but with a very brief response eg. 'Thanks for the add. Looking forward to seeing how well I can do. Good luck with your journey.'
Then I'll ignore any other responses if I feel they are a bit unecessary.5 -
No-one has messaged me directly... So you must be doing something right... Or perhaps I'm just an A-hole?
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The wrestling guy is a notorious creep here on MFP. He keeps making new profiles and hitting ladies up after the mods shut him down. Delete him! Report him to the mods!4
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If you don't want any DMs, then why not post a general message on your wall... Stating that you are not inclined to message via that route.2
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@Theo166 and @KickassAmazon76 yeah I'll think do that as my approach has not worked 🙄. Thanks for the advice.😊2
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Poobah1972 wrote: »No-one has messaged me directly... So you must be doing something right... Or perhaps I'm just an A-hole?
😂😂 I'm sure you're not.1 -
Poobah1972 wrote: »No-one has messaged me directly... So you must be doing something right... Or perhaps I'm just an A-hole?
😂😂 I'm sure you're not.
My fiancé would say I'm not, but that's one of the many reasons I'm marrying that woman.
Haha, someone gave me an insightful. So at least one of you would agree I am an A-hole. All Good.
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I will usually message friend request, asking about themselves. I am selective who I accept and want to know if they are going to be a good fit. So, if they do not respond, I delete them or don't except.2
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Since restarting I've had a few DM's from guys saying Hey new friend, how's my journey going etc or telling me all about their fitness achievements/ days activity etc and asking about mine. I'm inclined to ignore them as these messages could be posted on my main page. However, I don't want to be rude especially as I've asked for active people to add me. Do you normally respond to direct messages on MFP?
Only if I know them and/or have interacted with them on the forums as to potentially even have a reason for sending me a DM.1 -
i never find it necessary to respond to ANY unsolicited messages.1
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