Why? And how?šŸ˜­

I have been using this app for years and just discovered the community. I have tried so many methods to lose weight and counting calories is the o to one that works. But why canā€™t I stick to it? I cannot figure out what truly motivates me. And I donā€™t know why. What do I do?

Replies

  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    Soul search, perhaps? Not sure the answer will be exclusively here in the forums but there are MANY inspiring people here who have likely walked a similar path to yours.

    Have you connected with your healthcare team or a mental health professional about your weight loss concerns?
  • 963Nitro
    963Nitro Posts: 82 Member
    A journey alone is never easy - surround yourself with people on the same mission, and same mindset to help you and it becomes a lot easier! You're on the right track finding the community here! You got this!
  • stephie_nyc
    stephie_nyc Posts: 96 Member
    My first go round, I did it alone and had great success. But like you, this time I just couldn't. I knew what I needed to do and I kept not doing it. I just went for it and paid for a coach, even though it seemed silly because I know what to do. Obviously not frugal. But I am MUCH happier and having success.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    edited March 2021
    IDK...everyone has their own "why". I don't log...haven't in years, and I probably couldn't go back to it at this point as it has lost it's "charm" and I also don't really need it. I started back in the fall of 2012 and logged for a good 8-9 months...my "motivation" at the time was more out of personal interest and fascination. I like learning new things and often when I get into something new where I'm learning a lot and getting a lot of new insights into things and new perspectives, I really end up immersing myself in it until I feel like I've gained whatever I'm going to gain from engaging in that thing on a regular basis...not to say that I don't continue to read and do research or whatever (depending on what the thing is), I just end up far less immersed in it and usually on to something else.

    That was my "why" years ago...I was losing weight without MFP and without logging...but I became fascinated by the whole thing for awhile...until I wasn't. I was learning a lot about nutrition...my own personal habits and behaviors...it was like working some kind of big puzzle everyday and that kept me immersed in it and logging everyday...but eventually I felt like all of the pieces were in place and the puzzle was solved, so it just no longer held the same interest for me. I was also getting a little OCD with things towards the end of my logging career which was driving my wife and everyone around me crazy.

    I was also very motivated at the time due to some nasty health markers...I was pretty out of shape with some really nasty blood work and I was obese class 1. My Dr. was very forthright with me in telling me that I was well on my way to being a very sick person not too far down the road and that I was already at high risk for cardiovascular disease and a heart attack...and I was only 38 with a 2 year old and an infant at the time. The thought of not being around to watch my baby boys grow into little ragamuffins and then young men and then adults with families of their own was....ummm...disconcerting to say the least. They are now 8 and 10 and it has been a beautiful thing watching them grow and mature and knowing I'm doing everything I can do to be here for them and to be able to engage with them and play with them without being some tired old man that just needs a rest.

    Not that I don't have a streak of vanity in me...but physique and aesthetics give me very little motivation. I was just as happy being a fat guy as I am being a fairly lean guy, and I don't really get anything from some arbitrary number on the scale. Don't get me wrong...being now almost 47 and having a reasonably good physique out on the beach or hanging out pool side...and occasionally turning the head of a lady a decade or more younger than me is a nice "consolation prize"...but by and large, I am focused on my overall health and remaining functionally capable in middle age and beyond, and these are the things that are overwhelmingly the driver of the things that I do in my day to day life. Those "things" have evolved and changed over the years...but the overall mission remains the same.
  • MidlifeCrisisFitness
    MidlifeCrisisFitness Posts: 1,106 Member
    Why do we do anything?
    1 Because we want to
    2 Because we have to

    Want is better. Enjoy the process or enjoy the results. Pick one and lock in.

    For me it's results. I want to be able to play with my kids and eventual grandkids. And I mean really play. 65 years old waterskiing, downhill skiing. My Dad could not and I refuse to let that be me. I want this.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,158 Member
    There's many reasons that someone might want to lose weight. But these "whys" can becone weaker over time (or so I've found)

    I've learnt a few things from various sources and experience...

    1. I'm never going to feel like it
    2. My actions bring motivation rather than my motivation bringing actions
    3. Rely on discipline rather than motivation.

    So the first one is important, I don't ever feel like doing the dishes. But I do them. I don't feel like eating an apple over chocolate. I'm never gonna feel like getting up early in the morning, I'd rather hit snooze.

    I've found that when I start logging or exercising, that feel-good feeling helps me carry on, but I didn't feel that without doing the action first.

    And discipline, well the days where I seriously can not be bothered and considering not exercising for example, my discipline and choice to do it anyway keeps me on track.

    Hope this helps with a different perspective :)
  • tinkamama
    tinkamama Posts: 4 Member
    There's many reasons that someone might want to lose weight. But these "whys" can becone weaker over time (or so I've found)

    I've learnt a few things from various sources and experience...

    1. I'm never going to feel like it
    2. My actions bring motivation rather than my motivation bringing actions
    3. Rely on discipline rather than motivation.

    You are amazing. This is exactly what I needed to hear (read). This puts things In perspective. I think Iā€™m waiting for some magical force to pull me towards weight loss but there is no such thing. I have felt good after working out and exactly doing the dishes! (I have anxiety so dishes is a very hard thing for me to do) but after Iā€™ve done it I feel so proud of myself and I try to hold on to that feeling. I think to myself oh that wasnā€™t so bad I can do this. But then... I donā€™t. Yeah Iā€™m going to change this ā€œmotivationā€ outlook. Iā€™m going to try and plan. I donā€™t know how I havenā€™t thought of this before being that I littering plan my day to the hour lol. Thank you!
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,158 Member
    There's many reasons that someone might want to lose weight. But these "whys" can becone weaker over time (or so I've found)

    I've learnt a few things from various sources and experience...

    1. I'm never going to feel like it
    2. My actions bring motivation rather than my motivation bringing actions
    3. Rely on discipline rather than motivation.

    You are amazing. This is exactly what I needed to hear (read). This puts things In perspective. I think Iā€™m waiting for some magical force to pull me towards weight loss but there is no such thing. I have felt good after working out and exactly doing the dishes! (I have anxiety so dishes is a very hard thing for me to do) but after Iā€™ve done it I feel so proud of myself and I try to hold on to that feeling. I think to myself oh that wasnā€™t so bad I can do this. But then... I donā€™t. Yeah Iā€™m going to change this ā€œmotivationā€ outlook. Iā€™m going to try and plan. I donā€™t know how I havenā€™t thought of this before being that I littering plan my day to the hour lol. Thank you!

    Haha no worries!
    There's a YouTube video that I reccomend, someone people say it's a load of rubbish but I've found it works for me!
    Search in YouTube "Mel Robins - how to stop screwing yourself over"
    It's a TEDTalk clip and I've not looked into many of her other videos (I plan too) but it just resonated with me :)
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,158 Member
    Don't get me wrong though, there's days where I still can't get myself to do stuff, I'm far from perfect lol. Even my own discipline falters. But I see it more as tool I can implement at any time.
    Takes a little bit of will power too and sometimes a self pep talk lol
    But when I use these tools.. It works wlel for me