Please help by sharing what you do to keep yourself on track

ALG775 · April 2021

Hi all,

This is the first time I've started a thread- and I'm hoping to hear your thoughts.

I lost 50 lbs in 2015. I gained about 10 lbs within the first 8 months, but maintained for almost two years. I gained another 5 after a close friend died. I did ok at the beginning of the pandemic, but after about 2 months, the stress got to me and I started gaining weight and have gained another 15. I'm still about 20 lbs lower than when I started, and I am determined to address the challenge of getting back to that original loss of 50 lbs.

I think the biggest challenge I have is judging myself too harshly-then I give in to all or nothing thinking and give myself permission to eat.

I know what I have to do-but I need to work on my mindset.

What thoughts and beliefs have helped you do what you need to do?

Thanks for your help

MadisonMolly2017 · April 2021

ALG775 wrote: »

I think the biggest challenge I have is judging myself too harshly-then I give in to all or nothing thinking and give myself permission to eat.

I know what I have to do-but I need to work on my mindset.

What thoughts and beliefs have helped you do what you need to do?

Thanks for your help

Hi @ALG775,
First of all, you’ve done the hardest part. Reaching out!

The affirmation I have repeated frequently at times like your’s is, 🌀“The Past is Passed.” With a deep breath in & a big exhale out, down through my arms, shaking my fingrer tips. I.E. Relaxing. & Realizing that all we can control is THIS MOMENT.

So, that eliminates the “I’ll begin tomorrow.” “I’ll begin Monday. The 1st of the month, after my birthday, after the New Year.”

NOW.

But what if the motivation isn’t there.

My next affirmation: 🌀 “Beginning is the hard part.” I learned over time it took me 3 days to get back on track. So I sometimes gave myself a no food reward if I made it 3 days. Whatever it takes.

The other thing I did for motivation is to dig deeply into WHY you want to lose weight?
The Method that worked for me was to ask myself 🌀“why do you want to lose weight?and answer it and then dig more deeply & ask myself why do I want that thing? and answer that and then dig even more deeply “why do I want that thing?”

In my case it led to being as active with family members for as LONG as possible.

Every time I got off track this 🌀 “Big Why” got me back on track because it IS more important to me than any lousy piece of excess food. Definitely.

Keep going until you find a reason or Big Why that makes you beam, or cry, or begin tossing/giving away the processed food in the cupboard!

I simplified mine to “HealthFirst” & I also decided to be a tortoise 🐢 not a hare 🐰. I gave myself 3 years to hit my goal. It’s truly not a race.

Finally, grief & the emotional toll of the pandemic are challenging for all. For the pandemic, I reminded myself that excess food wouldn’t fix it. In fact, I use this one a lot! 🌀”Food won’t fix this; it will just give me TWO problems to deal with.” And then I distract myself, go for a walk, call a friend, make little art pieces, Declutter, etc.

Which reminds me...the whole time I was dieting I hated it. I’m honestly not very good at it! 🤣 So multiple times Every Day, I told myself 🌀 “I am NEVER doing this again.” That often keeps me from going off the rails. Never again.

The “Half Size Me” podcast is very wise. And what I’ve seen in here jibes with it.

She breaks what we have to learn how to handle into a few groups, to be practiced in this order:
1. Weekdays
2. Weekends
3. Holidays/Celebrations
4. Vacations.

I see many who get thrown off by the latter 3.

I’ve figured out the first 3 (so far- over 5-1/3 years.) working on vacations if I ever get to take one again. 🤪 They still scare/intimidate me some. [She has a plan for now to figure out vacations which I plan to do.]

Sorry for the book, but I hope something might resonate with you.

You’ve Got This!!

Maddie

DancingMoosie · April 2021

I find that setting a schedule and having a plan help. My schedule is basically:
Workout
Coffee/breakfast
Work
11am lunch(usually veggies or salad plus protein)
Work
2-3 pm snack (usually apple and protein) on weekends, I'll have an iced latte 😋
2x/weekly full body lifting after work, 1 day 30 min run
6pm Dinner
8pm snack
Saturday is my live step class day and Sunday is my long run.
If I make other plans on the weekends, I just try to stay busy and make healthy choices. Without a schedule, life can turn into a free-for-all.

NC_Girl · April 2021

@MadisonMolly2017 Thanks for sharing..... Many great points.

ninerbuff · April 2021

Have a defined WRITTEN PLAN. Figure out your calories per day, how you will achieve it and then STICK TO THE PLAN. Repetition builds habitual behavior and once your behavior becomes regular habit, you won't need to motivate yourself much to do it. Like brushing your teeth, or going to work, you have a routine that you do daily.

For me I workout 7 days a week come hell or high water. Even if it's NOT the best workout that day. I even workout on vacation. My workouts are about 30 minutes long on average and I only train one body part a day which means I won't train it again for another week. And my eating regimen has been the same for the last 10 years or so.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Speakeasy76 · April 2021

You are definitely on the right track that it's your mindset that needs to change to be successful. You can do all the "right" things like track your calories, eat well, exercise, plan your meals and workouts, and even lose some weight. However, if you don't truly believe that you can lose weight AND keep it off, it's likely to come back on.

I, too, used to be an all-or-none thinker and perfectionist (still recovering). When I shifted to thinking about eating/exercising for health and strength vs. eating/exercising for weight loss took some of the pressure off to lose weight. I enjoy eating mostly healthy foods with some treats, and now it's just habit. I honestly feel better eating more of the "good-for-you" stuff.

I also tell myself that absolutely nothing is off limits (well, except for now--I'm on an elimination diet for food sensitivities, but it won't be permanent). If I want cake (which I love), I can have it. I just make room in my calorie allowance, and if I go over--oh well. It's not the end of the world, and I'll just get back on track. It's not an excuse to give up and tell myself "I'll just start again on Monday."

I've had a problem with binge-eating in the past (to the point of seeking a therapist), and the thought of restriction and even tracking what I eat would start to trigger that fear that I would feel deprived...which would lead me to binge. I had to address those thoughts, and really make myself believe that It's okay to be a *little* hungry from time to time. I can deal with that, and it doesn't mean I'm going to binge.

I also can overeat to "stuff" uncomfortable feelings. I've had to learn to 1)Identify what those feelings are and 2)Be ok with sitting with those feelings for a bit.

I lost about 35 pounds back in 2012, gained and lost about 5-7 more, and was in the higher end of healthy BMI. I lost about 11 pounds slowly last year, and really haven't felt deprived. I only cut 250 calories, and also made sure I was more active throughout the day outside of my formal exercise. It was slow, but it actually wasn't too hard. There were (and still are) lots of weight ups and downs along the way, but I learned to be okay with it.

ALG775 · April 2021

Thanks very much for all your suggestions and taking the time to write.

@MadisonMolly2017 a lot of what you wrote resonated for me. I am actually taking some time to get ready- before I start tracking again- and I like the idea of digging deep into why I am doing this. I plan to do this this weekend.

Also the affirmation around beginning is the hardest part is also important for me. And I know that connecting with people is helpful- so continuing to ask for help is important.

I also love- food won't fix this! So true. It is hard to really feel all the stress and grief of the pandemic and just let it be.....

@DancingMoosie and @ninerbuff - thanks for the suggestion of the written plan and the routine. I think that does help me.

@Speakeasy76 I can relate to some of your all or nothing thoughts. And I think catching the thought in the moment is really important for me- and then being able to challenge it.

I think one of the hardest things is an internal weight bias- I tell myself I'm a loser for regaining the weight- and I'll never going to be able to succeed. But what I know to be true is that I did it- with help- and (relatively) slowly. I also know that obesity runs in my family- and like any chronic condition, I need to pay attention and get the support I need.

The person I was 30 pounds ago is essentially the same person I am now- and the same person I was when I was 50 pounds heavier. I guess I'm saying that I think my ability to love and value myself is going to enhance my ability to stick to a routine and to be able to get up when I fall down...

MadisonMolly2017 · April 2021

@ALG775
To your last point, Harvard calls obesity a “chronic, relapsing disease.” Although at first a bummer, I had to admit that was true for me & most every one I know. An accident, a work crunch, illness, vacations, grief & back it comes. So, I decided “Not This Time.” I will do what it takes. Period.

Sometimes I find facing the facts keeps me vigilant & on-track.

brenn24179 · April 2021

I started weighing every day a couple of years ago so twenty pounds can't get away from me like it did before. I am just recognizing now how damaging all that food is to me rather than how good it is.

rosiekin · April 2021

What works for me is logging and avoiding what I believe are my trigger foods. I have successfully been maintaining a 90lb weight loss since April 2015 and I never feel deprived as I still eat lots of foods that I enjoy like crisps and pizza, particularly pizza! In recent years I haven't weighed myself at all but I know from my clothes and the mirror that my weight has been pretty steady so whatever I am doing is working. If at any point I find I am putting on weight, then I will adjust my calories or exercise accordingly.

If I know I have heavier calorie days coming up, then I cut down for a day or two beforehand. As long as I average 2000 calories a day over the week, and get my steps in, I know I'm going to be OK. Like you, I am a bit of an all or nothing sort of person but this doesn't apply to eating quite as much as it used to.

Try not to judge yourself too harshly. You are definitely not alone putting on weight you had previously lost. I've done that multiple times in my adult life, losing anything from a couple of stones to as much as 5 stones. Sounds like you are getting back into the right mindset to re-start your weight loss journey. You've done it before so you can do it again. Good Luck.

sgt1372 · April 2021

I just log everything that I eat/drink in MFP and weigh myself daily, and then adjust my food intake accordingly.

Have been doing it this way for the past 5 yrs, after losng 40# from 196 down to 156 and have been maintaining my wt w/in a 10# range bet 150-160 ever since.

ALG775 · April 2021

@rosiekin Congratulations on your accomplishment! And thanks for the reminder not to be harsh.

AnnPT77 · April 2021

You asked "What thoughts and beliefs have helped you do what you need to do?"

That's a hard question. I've been mulling it over.

Hard-headed denialist that I can be, finally having it sink in that I couldn't be healthy and obese, despite being very athletically active and objectively pretty fit, even though fat. (I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc, despite decent nutrition and high activity.)

Recognizing that in the realm of body weight, whatever happened to me was a result of *choice* about eating and activity. It didn't "just happen". If I stayed fat (because I didn't do anything to stop it or reverse it), I was choosing not to change, and that was still a choice. (Choices have consequences.)

As a hedonistic person, I realized - as I got thinner and felt better - that future Ann needed current Ann to manage her eating and activity, or future Ann was going to have worse quality of life, and probably a shorter, sicker life as well. I needed to balance current Ann's pleasure seeking (wanting all the yummy food) against future Ann's happy life. Calorie counting was the perfect method for me, data geek that I am: Like a fun science fair experiment for grown-ups.

MadisonMolly2017 · April 2021

NC_Girl wrote: »

@MadisonMolly2017 Thanks for sharing..... Many great points.

Thank you, @NC_Girl

Hayer1 · April 2021

My thoughts and beliefs that have helped me do what I need to do...

Beliefs: After several years of losing and gaining 30-40 pounds, I have changed some of my beliefs and I feel that has helped me maintain this last 45 pound loss for over 6 months and counting. One belief I had is that I have to be hungry if I'm being "good". Previously when losing weight I, was restricting fairly aggressively and avoiding certain foods. I had this all tied in with my sense of success and control. This time, I eased up on the calorie deficit and eat delicious and indulgent things and now believe "I can do this, my body feels good" rather than "If I suffer now, I will look great in three (or five or ten) months.

Thoughts: This is the biggest one for me. In the past year not only have I lost the weight I also purchased my FIRST full length mirror. And I look in it. At my body and myself. And I like what I see, I can live with and forgive what I don't really like -and even that is not so bad. I genuinely like my body. I didn't realize that I look this good (this took some work).
I am healing and understanding my relationship with myself - where I have lowered my boundaries to find acceptance and love, where I have punished myself unduly for mistakes, how I ignored my feelings about a miscarriage/friends/my parents/divorce and shed a light on the shame that went along with all this.
I threw away (or donated) old clothes, cleaned out my closet, my home, my life, my friends and my heart. This is a work in progress.

So I guess all this is to say that I work actively each day at loving my body and myself through the process rather than punishing. Takes some hard work, takes some reckoning - but it's so worth it!

J72FIT · April 2021

ALG775 wrote: »

Hi all,

This is the first time I've started a thread- and I'm hoping to hear your thoughts.

I lost 50 lbs in 2015. I gained about 10 lbs within the first 8 months, but maintained for almost two years. I gained another 5 after a close friend died. I did ok at the beginning of the pandemic, but after about 2 months, the stress got to me and I started gaining weight and have gained another 15. I'm still about 20 lbs lower than when I started, and I am determined to address the challenge of getting back to that original loss of 50 lbs.

I think the biggest challenge I have is judging myself too harshly-then I give in to all or nothing thinking and give myself permission to eat.

I know what I have to do-but I need to work on my mindset.

What thoughts and beliefs have helped you do what you need to do?

Thanks for your help

That everyday is a new day...

springlering62 · April 2021

I try to K.I.S.S. and follow the best advice I ever heard here:

Treat maintenance like you have ten pounds to lose

I know how to lose, so I do just that. Constant vigilance keeps me on track.

TheresaM787 · April 2021

I’m new to maintenance, from what I’ve learned from the Half Size Me podcast, is that maintenance is similar to sticking to a calorie deficit:
Drink your water
Track everything that you eat and drink
Exercise
Get enough sleep

The only difference for me, so far, has been extra calories.

ALG775 · April 2021

@AnnPT77 I like your thought around balancing present Ann with future Ann. While I am currently metabolically healthy, my knee is a bit of a challenge-;and the heavier I am, the more future me will not be able to walk, dance and move.

@Hayer1 I appreciate your thoughts around loving yourself and your body. I think this is really important for me. I recently participated in an exercise where we were asked to find a picture or ourselves as a kid- and look at that picture and love and appreciate the special being we were- and still are! It is so easy for me to have compassion for my kids- and my younger me- and I want to extend that to my current me!

I think that since I have struggled with weight most of my adult life- and I have a parent who struggles, seeing as something I always need to pay some attention to is important. Perhaps this connects to your point @springlering62

@J72FIT - agreed!

And thanks for the podcast recommendation @TheresaM787

Beautyofdreams · April 2021

@ALG775 Not sure this is your case but it is my truth. I am working on self identity. The words that you use to describe yourself have a powerful effect on your actions. For many years I described my self as fat, lazy, slob, and incompetent. Since joining MFP last March, I have lost 77 pounds and realize that many of those negative words were said to me but they are not my true self. When things get difficult, I ask myself what my best self would do and do that. Each tiny little success brings me great happiness that food could never give me and reinforces my new self identity.

AnnPT77 · April 2021

ALG775 wrote: »

@AnnPT77 I like your thought around balancing present Ann with future Ann. While I am currently metabolically healthy, my knee is a bit of a challenge-;and the heavier I am, the more future me will not be able to walk, dance and move.

(snip)

FWIW: My knees are pretty much cr*p: Torn meniscus, arthritis. Losing 50+ pounds, reaching a healthy weight . . . sooooo much less discomfort/pain, and less frequently. I used to be limping a couple weeks out of most months, now nearly never. It used to interfere with sleep sometimes, now can't remember last time that happened. It's not perfect or 100% discomfort-free, but so. much. better.

Getting stronger & more flexible helped, too, but I'm pretty sure the lighter weight was the Big Deal. I'd also give a bit of credit to a physical therapist who helped me learn to walk & climb stairs in ways that put less stress on my knees.

Improvement may be possible!

ncfitbit · April 2021

Love all the awesome suggestions here! I needed to read this today. I've been looking for a way to get my head back in the game after I let the pandemic and a family member's illness fool me into thinking it wasn't important to focus on myself. The result is I'm up 10 lbs. The only reason it wasn't moer than that is I'm stubborn and I refuse to buy new clothes.

Does anyone know of a "former maintainers" group for people who need some additional accountability to get back on track?

AKTipsyCat · April 2021

So get where you are coming from and love all the advice, I lost almost 50 pounds, then gained some back and then I'm losing and gaining the same 15 pounds over and over again and never quite reaching goal. I lot of it is tied to exercise, because when I exercise I eat to fuel me and make better choices, so even if I technically have more calories, it's all more nutritionally dense and not sugary. Once I stop exercising, I start eating like crap and boozing it up more... and even though I eat less, I stop losing weight. Argh.

ALG775 · April 2021

The words that you use to describe yourself have a powerful effect on your actions. For many years I described my self as fat, lazy, slob, and incompetent. Since joining MFP last March, I have lost 77 pounds and realize that many of those negative words were said to me but they are not my true self.

I agree- what we say about ourselves and what we think about ourselves is powerful.

durhammfp · April 2021

I lost 49 pounds and have more or less kept it off except that my weight is now fluctuating within a 3 pound range. I wanted to lose a little more but it has gotten difficult... I think stress from the pandemic is a real thing and it looks like things are returning to (some kind of) normal, so that's good.

I weigh myself pretty much every day, in addition to tracking my food. Even when I have gotten slack about tracking food I almost always step on the scale every day. So that is a big, and positive, motivator for me. The other thing I do is something that I don't do. I do NOT try to "make up" today for any mistakes I made before today. I do not believe in being extra restrictive with my food today just because I overate yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity to succeed so I just get back on the horse and try again.

MidlifeCrisisFitness · April 2021

As you lost did you learn to eat? Did you learn what level of exercise is needed for the calorie consumption you took in?

If yes you have a guideline of what needs to be done in order to lose or gain. Logging or not logging if you reached goal you know what got you there.

Be aware of what you are doing and it won't get away from you.

Make conscious decisions.

mylittlerainbow · April 2021

The tracking during weight loss phase is continuing. I've only been in maintenance this time around since last October but intend to stay there for the rest of my life and never let myself gain any significant amount again. To that end, I continue logging on MFP - calories and exercise minutes/type and water. (I prelog my food for the day to make sure I can incorporate any "treat" that I might want to allow myself that day.) Plus I weigh and log that every week, too. Really makes a difference for somebody like me to be held accountable to somebody/something because I've learned I am incapable of going it alone with no support. I occasionally look at my "before" photos, too - especially when I see my face as "too round" or my belly as "too protruding" these days (now that I'm used to my appearance again) and have to remind myself of how it was when I was REALLY too heavy!

ALG775 · May 2021

"because I've learned I am incapable of going it alone with no support."

I think this is key for me. I need support- whether it be MFP, my Dr, etc. And with a little help from our friends, we can do it!

MaltedTea · May 2021

Jovial yet berating self-talk followed by committing to positive change 🤷🏾‍♀️

ALG775 · May 2021

MaltedTea wrote: »

Jovial yet berating self-talk followed by committing to positive change 🤷🏾‍♀️

brenn24179 · May 2021

ALG775 wrote: »

"because I've learned I am incapable of going it alone with no support."

I think this is key for me. I need support- whether it be MFP, my Dr, etc. And with a little help from our friends, we can do it!

This is so important, I needed help and reached out. So many people in MFP have helped me, some a little harsh but I guess I needed tough love at times!

Please help by sharing what you do to keep yourself on track

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