Friendships
Right I’ve talked about marriage, situationships and now friendships lol. Has anyone else been best friends with someone who you thought would be down forever and then suddenly you became strangers without anything happening? Did it affect you a badly and why does this happen when you don’t actually fall out?
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It's happened several times in my life, and each time, there was some sort of life shift for one person or the other. I went off to school, she got married, I got a new job, he became a competitive runner, she retired, I got a new hobby.
In each case, if chips were really down, I know for fact I could call on each one of those people to take me to the hospital or help me raise bail if I needed it.
We're still in touch (Facebook mostly). and are to each other markers in the passage of our own timelines- precious for who we were for each other at that time, and sacred in out memories tied to those times. No need to mourn or regret that our lives have moved on.2 -
rosebarnalice wrote: »It's happened several times in my life, and each time, there was some sort of life shift for one person or the other. I went off to school, she got married, I got a new job, he became a competitive runner, she retired, I got a new hobby.
In each case, if chips were really down, I know for fact I could call on each one of those people to take me to the hospital or help me raise bail if I needed it.
We're still in touch (Facebook mostly). and are to each other markers in the passage of our own timelines- precious for who we were for each other at that time, and sacred in out memories tied to those times. No need to mourn or regret that our lives have moved on.
@rosebarnalice thank you for your story. It’s good to hear that you still have each other’s backs when needed
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Friends come and go but family is forever. Your vibe attracts your tribe. Secure attachments buffer all friendship stress. Trying to hang onto others who've moved on can keep you stuck in a rut. Roll with it and let them gooo.
https://youtu.be/4E4-9yKTv_I?t=3 5 -
Diatonic12 wrote: »Friends come and go but family is forever. Your vibe attracts your tribe. Secure attachments buffer all friendship stress. Trying to hang onto others who've moved on can keep you stuck in a rut. Roll with it and let them gooo.https://youtu.be/4E4-9yKTv_I?t=3
@Diatonic12 opening line very true but family can sometimes be the worst of all.
👍🏽3 -
@Hotelsma You need an extended family to buffer the stress.
Mine is enormous. 
Let those old friends go. Generally speaking, in a dating realm people sense and detect fear. It causes them to nut and bolt, run for the door. Release them.1 -
Diatonic12 wrote: »
😂 No more family no more!!!!1 -
@Hotelsma Doggone it, anyway. I have another song for you. Family is Family.
They're there for your first year, they give you your first beer
When you get your heart broke, they're there for your worst year
Don't get you at all, but your apple don't fall too far from 'em
They own too much wicker and drink too much liquor
You'd wash your hands of them, but blood's always thicker
You might look just like 'em, that don't mean you're like 'em
But you love 'em
Family is family, in church or in prison
You get what you get, and you don't get to pick 'em
They might smoke like chimneys, but give you their kidneys
Yeah, friends come in handy, but family is family
They're there when you're married, divorced, and remarried
You fall out of touch, but then someone gets buried
And you're right back together like no time has ever gone by
Can't live with or without 'em, you might talk about 'em
But if someone else does, well, then you'll knock 'em out 'cause
When it's all said and done, they're the only ones that you got
Family is family, in church or in prison
You get what you get, and you don't get to pick 'em
They might smoke like chimneys, but give you their kidneys
Yeah, friends come in handy, but family is family
Yeah, family is funny, they'll ask you for money
Even though they know you ain't got no money
They show up at Christmas, get up in your business
They might not be fancy, but family is family
You might look just like 'em, that don't mean you're like 'em
But you love 'em
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@Diatonic12 thank you. That line about burying is so true.1
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It happens - People grow, people change.
I saw a quote the other day and it spoke volumes to me:
I'd rather have many real enemies than fake friends. At least you know where your enemies stand.5 -
SunflowerQueen36 wrote: »It happens - People grow, people change.
I saw a quote the other day and it spoke volumes to me:
I'd rather have many real enemies than fake friends. At least you know where your enemies stand.
People grow but change I don’t get. Even tho I have lost few I still have some mates that are still down with me the same as I knew them 25 plus years ago
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Right I’ve talked about marriage, situationships and now friendships lol. Has anyone else been best friends with someone who you thought would be down forever and then suddenly you became strangers without anything happening? Did it affect you a badly and why does this happen when you don’t actually fall out?
Yes. Try being very close friends with someone for a decade only to have them change, treat you like a garbage dump and eventually accuse you of being a "fair weather" friend and abandon you when you can no longer be their sounding board.
I can't say I have many friends anymore. I've just accepted it at this point.4 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Right I’ve talked about marriage, situationships and now friendships lol. Has anyone else been best friends with someone who you thought would be down forever and then suddenly you became strangers without anything happening? Did it affect you a badly and why does this happen when you don’t actually fall out?
Yes. Try being very close friends with someone for a decade only to have them change, treat you like a garbage dump and eventually accuse you of being a "fair weather" friend and abandon you when you can no longer be their sounding board.
I can't say I have many friends anymore. I've just accepted it at this point.
Sorry to hear that. But I’ve had similar experience it’s pretty *kitten* when it happens0 -
I don’t remember the last time I had a real life friend. Everyone just kinda faded away... I’ll admit that it’s very lonely.13
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Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »I don’t remember the last time I had a real life friend. Everyone just kinda faded away... I’ll admit that it’s very lonely.
@Deadman_Diggingup Dam sorry to hear that dude. It’s true as get older people fade0 -
Like a poster here mentioned friends come and go but family's forever. I was always like that since I was a young child. Blood is thicker than water and all that *kitten*. I never needed anyone so never felt the need to make lifelong emotional bonds with non family members. Then slowly my family started ditching me and I was attracting a wrong kinda crowd- not drugs or anything like that- just lot of bullying and abuse. So after all those years of damage I believe I'm better off alone.2
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I had a few really close friends in my early 20s. I moved across country for three months and when I came back they wouldn't speak to me anymore. I was friendless for a few years after that until I met my now best friend and she's been my ride or die for the last 8 years. I don't agree that family is forever because I have some bad experiences there, but I do believe in quality over quantity! I couldn't imagine life without my best friend.2
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ExerciseExtraFries wrote: »I had a few really close friends in my early 20s. I moved across country for three months and when I came back they wouldn't speak to me anymore. I was friendless for a few years after that until I met my now best friend and she's been my ride or die for the last 8 years. I don't agree that family is forever because I have some bad experiences there, but I do believe in quality over quantity! I couldn't imagine life without my best friend.
@ExerciseExtraFries don’t get why they stopped talking to ya. People are just weird0 -
SunflowerQueen36 wrote: »It happens - People grow, people change.
I saw a quote the other day and it spoke volumes to me:
I'd rather have many real enemies than fake friends. At least you know where your enemies stand.
People grow but change I don’t get. Even tho I have lost few I still have some mates that are still down with me the same as I knew them 25 plus years ago
And those are the ones you keep!! I can count on 3 fingers the people in my life that I consider "REAL FRIENDS".. I keep my circle small.1 -
This happened with my best friend from when I was 4 years old. We already started drifting a bit in late high school, every time she had a boyfriend she would totally drop me, so I made other friends, who she said she didn't like for no particular reason.
She was a year ahead of me and really wanted me to go to the same college as her and room together, but I chose a different school, which also happened to be the school that she wanted to go to and didn't get into. So that put a further strain our friendship, and then later on I ended up getting with the guy that she had a crush on all through high school. We still kind of stayed friends for a bit after that and I went to visit her a couple of times but eventually it just faded away.
It was kind of good because looking back when were younger we were like, unhealthily attached and even possessive of each other. But I'm still sad about it sometimes. My grandma still has her best friend from childhood. She's 93 and they live in different countries but still talk on the phone all the time. I always thought that's how me and my friend would be!1 -
SunflowerQueen36 wrote: »SunflowerQueen36 wrote: »It happens - People grow, people change.
I saw a quote the other day and it spoke volumes to me:
I'd rather have many real enemies than fake friends. At least you know where your enemies stand.
People grow but change I don’t get. Even tho I have lost few I still have some mates that are still down with me the same as I knew them 25 plus years ago
And those are the ones you keep!! I can count on 3 fingers the people in my life that I consider "REAL FRIENDS".. I keep my circle small.
@SunflowerQueen36 same, I guess when you get older this happens seem quite the normal so we must be doing something right lol1 -
ladyoftherocks wrote: »This happened with my best friend from when I was 4 years old. We already started drifting a bit in late high school, every time she had a boyfriend she would totally drop me, so I made other friends, who she said she didn't like for no particular reason.
She was a year ahead of me and really wanted me to go to the same college as her and room together, but I chose a different school, which also happened to be the school that she wanted to go to and didn't get into. So that put a further strain our friendship, and then later on I ended up getting with the guy that she had a crush on all through high school. We still kind of stayed friends for a bit after that and I went to visit her a couple of times but eventually it just faded away.
It was kind of good because looking back when were younger we were like, unhealthily attached and even possessive of each other. But I'm still sad about it sometimes. My grandma still has her best friend from childhood. She's 93 and they live in different countries but still talk on the phone all the time. I always thought that's how me and my friend would be!
@ladyoftherocks it’s common theme to get dropped when someone has a new bf/gf.
You ain’t the only one who thought they would be mates with someone till the end. It’s sad but again seems like a right of passage but I’m also grateful for the homeslices (new word I learnt in mfp) which I have still1
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