second wedding advice question

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BrenNew
BrenNew Posts: 3,420 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
As some of you know, my son is getting married next month, and since I don't know the answer to some questions I have, I'm asking my wonderful MFP friends to give me your thoughts.
Anyway, THIS time around, my question is, how much of a cash gift should I, as the mother of the groom, give as their wedding gift? Thanks in advance for your advice. Brenda :smile:
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  • BrenNew
    BrenNew Posts: 3,420 Member
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    As some of you know, my son is getting married next month, and since I don't know the answer to some questions I have, I'm asking my wonderful MFP friends to give me your thoughts.
    Anyway, THIS time around, my question is, how much of a cash gift should I, as the mother of the groom, give as their wedding gift? Thanks in advance for your advice. Brenda :smile:
  • mrsyac2
    mrsyac2 Posts: 2,784 Member
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    As some of you know, my son is getting married next month, and since I don't know the answer to some questions I have, I'm asking my wonderful MFP friends to give me your thoughts.
    Anyway, THIS time around, my question is, how much of a cash gift should I, as the mother of the groom, give as their wedding gift? Thanks in advance for your advice. Brenda :smile:

    150.00-300.00
  • mrsyac2
    mrsyac2 Posts: 2,784 Member
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    when me and my husband got married we made a killing- every guest brought cash $$$$- we even joked about getting divorced then married again
  • réalta
    réalta Posts: 895 Member
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    i think it depends on your financial situation?

    not sure really, it depends with each family

    :flowerforyou:
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    i think it depends on your financial situation?

    not sure really, it depends with each family

    :flowerforyou:


    I would second that. . .he's your son. . .so you probably want to be generous, but your level of generosity is personal. :flowerforyou:
  • molsongirl
    molsongirl Posts: 1,373 Member
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    Did you help out with the wedding at all? Pay for catering, or her dress, or the alcohol? because I think when it's a second wedding if you helped out financially with the cost of the wedding itself, then no further gift is required...just my two cents, not to say that if you want to give them cash, then do so. I guess i'm old school, I would never gift cash.
  • Stacey82
    Stacey82 Posts: 69
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    I got married last year and my Mom gave us a check for $100.00. For my Dad, money was tight...he helped with everything I asked of him as far as setting things up, but finacially his only set back was the cost of his and my two brothers tuxes. My husband's Mom bought us a new dishwasher...on her credit card...because mine died. My husband's Dad and Step-Mom gave us a DVD about making marriage last and a check for $100.00...and money isn't an issue for them!

    For me personally, the gift that meant the most, was all of my Dad's help and him paying for his and my brother's tuxes...that was like $300...quite a bit for someone that was laid off! Outside of that, $100.00 seems to be pretty standard among people I know. Other family members and guests gave $20-$50...but maybe I just know a poorer class of people! I was just more interested in them celebrating with us than what gifts we got from them
  • ccano
    ccano Posts: 149 Member
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    As some of you know, my son is getting married next month, and since I don't know the answer to some questions I have, I'm asking my wonderful MFP friends to give me your thoughts.
    Anyway, THIS time around, my question is, how much of a cash gift should I, as the mother of the groom, give as their wedding gift? Thanks in advance for your advice. Brenda :smile:

    How old are they? How settled are they in terms of household items? What are you comfortable giving? Would you be more comfortable giving something other than a cash gift? Are you helping to pay for the wedding at all? If yes to the last question, IMO that would be gift enough. My parents are helping to pay for our venue. It's not a second wedding for us, but I think that is MORE than generous and would not expect a gift in addition to that.
  • sweetassurance
    sweetassurance Posts: 461
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    If you can afford it give them 100.00 plus a gift that they will cherish always. If not then give them what you can and a gift that will be meaningful to them both. :bigsmile:

    It does not cost a lot of money to build memories but a lot of love and imagination. :love:
  • Mommy2Girls
    Mommy2Girls Posts: 100
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    It absolutely depends on what you are able to afford.

    When my brothers got married my parents gave them $1000 each and paid for their honeymoon's as well as helped out with a few other small things pertaining to the wedding.

    When I was married my parents paid for the wedding (venue), our honeymoon and my dress.
  • Iceprincessk25
    Iceprincessk25 Posts: 1,888 Member
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    When I got married the 1st time my parents pretty much paid for everything and she got me the Kitchen Aid mixer that I had been yearning for! :smile:

    This time around.....not sure what they're going to do! I feel like since they already paid for one I don't think they should pay for another one.
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
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    I know everyone loves getting money, but I'm partial to giving and receiving gifs instead. It's more personal. I HOPE our guests give us gifts instead of money. The reason? I'm super practical. If someone buys me a toaster, or a set of satin sheets, or new towels... etc, I'm happy, it's a luxury that I probably wouldn't buy for myself. Even when I need something, like clothes that actually fit :laugh: , I feel guilty buying it. So when I get money as a gift, I can pretty much guarantee it's going towards rent, or gas, or the phone bill... you know? If I were you, I'd find out something that they really WANT (not need) and get it for them. Maybe a new digital camera... a Blueray DVD player.... a camcorder... or something smaller like a lush duvet. Another nice idea is a gift certificate to their favourite restaurant. I like gifts... as long as you know it's something they'll enjoy. :flowerforyou:
  • Iceprincessk25
    Iceprincessk25 Posts: 1,888 Member
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    See, I think there's NOTHING wrong with money or gift cards. It gives ME the gift of shopping which is my favorite gift of all!!!

    Plus it saves me the time of returning something!
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
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    Second wedding to the same girl or to a new one? If it's a new one it's not her fault he was married before so 2nd marriage should have nothing to do with their gift.
  • BrenNew
    BrenNew Posts: 3,420 Member
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    Oops, guess I've gotta explain my subject line. :laugh: :embarassed: It's MY second question to you MFP friends about my son's wedding. It's only his FIRST wedding.
    He's 25 and she's about 22 I guess. They're registered at a Bed, Bath and Beyond site, and for her bridal shower gift, I just bought them the flatware set that they wanted. Plus, I've wrapped up the Christmas stocking that my ex's mother handmade for him, and then was passed down to my son, and I've got a note with it that says:
    Rebecca,
    I am so thrilled that you will soon be my daughter in law! You’re everything that a mother
    could hope for in a wife for her son. I don’t think that I could have chosen a sweeter,
    brighter, prettier young woman than my son did, when he had the great fortune in
    finding you! I know that you will be a wonderful wife to him, and (hopefully, someday!)
    that you will make a fantastic mother too! Therefore, it gives me great pleasure to pass on
    for your safe keeping the Christmas stocking that was lovingly handmade by Ricky’s
    Grandma Wiedeman for her own son, Rick, and then passed on down to our son, Ricky.
    I wish for you and my son a life filled with friendship, laughter, happiness, and love!
    Welcome to our family! Love, Brenda


    Her parents are paying for the wedding, though I'm going to give the kids 200.00 to put towards flowers or whatever. Plus, my ex, myself, and my second husband, are all paying for the rehearsal dinner. I don't have very much money, but I've been saving for my son's wedding for over a year now.
    I'm of the belief, (or old school or whatever you want to call it!) of giving money as a wedding gift. I was THINKING about 500.00 at the MOST, since like I said, I'm not exactly rolling in dough! :laugh:
    Since I don't know about this stuff, I figured I could hit up my MFP friends, who are always so great with their advice! :love: :smile:
  • quinnybear
    quinnybear Posts: 243
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    when me and my husband got married we made a killing- every guest brought cash $$$$- we even joked about getting divorced then married again

    lucky!! we had about 120 guests and only about half brought any gift at all (not even a card) and a lot were my husband's family. i was pretty upset, i mean, who doesn't bring a wedding gift??
  • Iceprincessk25
    Iceprincessk25 Posts: 1,888 Member
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    when me and my husband got married we made a killing- every guest brought cash $$$$- we even joked about getting divorced then married again

    lucky!! we had about 120 guests and only about half brought any gift at all (not even a card) and a lot were my husband's family. i was pretty upset, i mean, who doesn't bring a wedding gift??

    Yeah that's pretty tacky.
  • mrsyac2
    mrsyac2 Posts: 2,784 Member
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    when me and my husband got married we made a killing- every guest brought cash $$$$- we even joked about getting divorced then married again

    lucky!! we had about 120 guests and only about half brought any gift at all (not even a card) and a lot were my husband's family. i was pretty upset, i mean, who doesn't bring a wedding gift??

    That sucks did they just come for the food and the drinks--

    It was my husbands family that brought the money Big Italian Family- So it was all about money in envelopes in the middle of the table- Cha-Ching lol
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
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    $500 would be very generous on top of paying for the rehearsal dinner! That note to Rebecca is worth more anyhow. :) Even $300 would be good for a cash gift. She's lucky to be getting you as a mother in law.
  • Mommy2Girls
    Mommy2Girls Posts: 100
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    when me and my husband got married we made a killing- every guest brought cash $$$$- we even joked about getting divorced then married again

    lucky!! we had about 120 guests and only about half brought any gift at all (not even a card) and a lot were my husband's family. i was pretty upset, i mean, who doesn't bring a wedding gift??

    Whenever I go to a wedding I usually give a gift that would cover the costs of me being there. So a cousins wedding let's say with my family of 4 I would probably give $150.

    We too made a killing at ours!!! We actually did not receive 1 gift - it was all $$ gifts.

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