Would you marry me?
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springlering62 wrote: »OK on the other hand when I discussed deeper this topic with same group of (lady) friends i found its maybe more about fear that such 6 pacs partner will require something similar from them(perfect body) or that he would sooner or later search for such new partner or there is just fear he is too attractive for other women...
Are you sure you are not a victim of wrong prejudice? 🙂
This is a genuinely interesting question.
I’ve rejected several friend requests from 6pack profiles because they make me uncomfortable. Nor do I want my husband to have any reason to think I’m corresponding with buff guys.
However, you very rightly called me out for showing a similar profile myself. I never thought about it like that.
My profile pics are pride about where I’ve come from and where I am now.
I guess I should give menfolk the same grace I give myself.
But still, it makes me uncomfortable. And I totally understand where your lady friends are coming from. In my “female” head, self preservation tells me to beware of any dude who looks better than I do, for fear they’re always shopping.
(Not to slam Mr Springlering, who is a fine specimen of @yirara ’s ideal male.)
I’m already married, so can’t answer the original question.
I did date a bodybuilder once and we both decided it didn’t work. To be that fit requires a significant investment in time and energy, and in his case it didn’t leave much for other pursuits. He was the classic stereotype of a bro who is too into his own looks to have much of a personality. Also, I found out later he told his friends I was “high maintenance,” which seems to mean I expected to be treated well, unlike most ladies who fawned all over him.
It was interesting walking into places with him and having heads turn... to look at HIM! If I were free, I would be willing to try dating a guy that good-looking again, who knows, maybe this one has hidden depths.1 -
That is a bit presumptuous….. That's funny ,too, about avoiding sexy guy friends. Do you think he'll be less jealous about the less good looking ones, haha! I know from experience that's probably not true:D
Presumptuous maybe, but I’ve got friends who’ve been there. And surely it’s a reflection of my own inadequacy, too.
Under no circumstances would I do anything to make Mr Spring jealous. We did hit a brief patch where he seemed confused and even dismayed about my weight loss, but I made it a point to reassure him it was for me and me alone. Shared things from these boards with him, made sure he knew where I was, invited him on walks, and to go to the gym and watch a couple of training sessions.
He’s such a doll, I think he had this fuzzy idea I was at the gym where buff guys were peeling grapes for me. Bless his heart. I’m old enough to be their momma and/or grandma. I’m genuinely touched he thought that.
Silly, but when you have a lifetimer like him, a little extra TLC keeps things on an even keel. We get so engrossed in the process, and spend so much private time logging and working out and generally focusing on it, we forget our weight loss and piddly efforts at “body building”can have weird morale effects on those around us. Even my kids were flipping out at first. They had no memory of me not obese, and one was angry for a while, believe it or not.2 -
springlering62 wrote: »
This is a genuinely interesting question.
I’ve rejected several friend requests from 6pack profiles because they make me uncomfortable. Nor do I want my husband to have any reason to think I’m corresponding with buff guys.
However, you very rightly called me out for showing a similar profile myself. I never thought about it like that.
My profile pics are pride about where I’ve come from and where I am now.
I guess I should give menfolk the same grace I give myself.
But still, it makes me uncomfortable. And I totally understand where your lady friends are coming from. In my “female” head, self preservation tells me to beware of any dude who looks better than I do, for fear they’re always shopping.
(Not to slam Mr Springlering, who is a fine specimen of @yirara ’s ideal male.)
You are very open minded and nice person. It's just empathy to your partner (not all ppl are able).
Summarise. hardly explainable to any partner under normal circumstances why is one doing selfie photos in the bath ;-) It's reason for as_s kick.
On the other hand grown up partner should understand you progress photos (although you will have to bravely accept jokes about it as a small tax) and participation in such community (what isn't easy for sure).
Shopping...good point, this was also one of the topics.... but for sure you like a man in James Bond smoking, what requires shopping, the guestion is only if that man has shopping as a key hobby (like lot of women) or just do it as necessity...maybe to look good for you ;-) ...and maybe you will get a partner beside your (lady) friends who will time to time assist you by shopping and make it common joy...;-)
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rheddmobile wrote: »To be that fit requires a significant investment in time and energy, and in his case it didn’t leave much for other pursuits. He was the classic stereotype of a bro who is too into his own looks to have much of a personality. Also, I found out later he told his friends I was “high maintenance,” which seems to mean I expected to be treated well, unlike most ladies who fawned all over him.
It was interesting walking into places with him and having heads turn... to look at HIM! If I were free, I would be willing to try dating a guy that good-looking again, who knows, maybe this one has hidden depths.
To be fit requires up to 1 hours 3-6 times a week. Strength training over 50 minutes is not effective. Aerobic workout is more about overall (heart) health and may be something you enjoy together - long walks, biking, swimming, inline skating, running, bedminton whatever. Only complication can be different eating habits but one can find always working compromise. I like, you didn't make any finite conclusion from one bad experience. Small note .... there are also women and man who want to control/own all the free time of partner. Most often they do not have any own hobbies. In such case it's hard to establish harmonic relationship when other partner is active. It's natural.
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Michelle, my physical age is 41 and the mental one you need to determine selfmichellschie wrote: »How old are you?
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That's understandable! I was the same way when I was married. I probably missed out on a few good friendships, but he was worth it.:)springlering62 wrote: »That is a bit presumptuous….. That's funny ,too, about avoiding sexy guy friends. Do you think he'll be less jealous about the less good looking ones, haha! I know from experience that's probably not true:D
Presumptuous maybe, but I’ve got friends who’ve been there. And surely it’s a reflection of my own inadequacy, too.
Under no circumstances would I do anything to make Mr Spring jealous. We did hit a brief patch where he seemed confused and even dismayed about my weight loss, but I made it a point to reassure him it was for me and me alone. Shared things from these boards with him, made sure he knew where I was, invited him on walks, and to go to the gym and watch a couple of training sessions.
He’s such a doll, I think he had this fuzzy idea I was at the gym where buff guys were peeling grapes for me. Bless his heart. I’m old enough to be their momma and/or grandma. I’m genuinely touched he thought that.
Silly, but when you have a lifetimer like him, a little extra TLC keeps things on an even keel. We get so engrossed in the process, and spend so much private time logging and working out and generally focusing on it, we forget our weight loss and piddly efforts at “body building”can have weird morale effects on those around us. Even my kids were flipping out at first. They had no memory of me not obese, and one was angry for a while, believe it or not.
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I'm a guy but if the price is right.3
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just joking!;) Americans don't speak proper English, anyway, haha.. I think because I have ancestors from different places and they spoke so many different languages that sometimes my comprehension of English gets a little discombobulated!
@springlering62 Did you mean shopping for material goods or shopping around for women to date!?:D0 -
just joking!;) Americans don't speak proper English, anyway, haha.. I think because I have ancestors from different places and they spoke so many different languages that sometimes my comprehension of English gets a little discombobulated!
@springlering62 Did you mean shopping for material goods or shopping around for women to date!?:D
I did mean men shopping for “better” women.
@fitom80 your English is excellent. So many youngsters here in the US use awful English on social media. I know language is a fluid thing. I just wish people would appreciate more that it’s also how people perceive you.
My son in law is Russian, immigrated to Germany at age three when the Wall fell, due to food shortages in the Soviet bloc, speaks fluent Russian and German. I was blown away that he speaks English with very little accent. I asked him how he learned such superb English.
He claims he learned it from listening to rap.
He has the best grasp of American slang of anyone I know. He’s like a walking “Urban Dictionary”. We’ve tried to trip him up. It’s impossible.
Rap as education. Who would have guessed?
SMH. 🤷🏻♀️
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I would absolutely take you for a test drive.... Kick the tires...1
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Thank you, you are so generousspringlering62 wrote: »@fitom80 your English is excellent. So many youngsters here in the US use awful English on social media. I know language is a fluid thing. I just wish people would appreciate more that it’s also how people perceive you.
My son in law is Russian, immigrated to Germany at age three when the Wall fell, due to food shortages in the Soviet bloc, speaks fluent Russian and German. I was blown away that he speaks English with very little accent. I asked him how he learned such superb English.
He claims he learned it from listening to rap.
He has the best grasp of American slang of anyone I know. He’s like a walking “Urban Dictionary”. We’ve tried to trip him up. It’s impossible.
Rap as education. Who would have guessed?
SMH. 🤷🏻♀️
He could be a good mate, I speak both German and Russian (or I did since I have no chance to use them regularly). I've learned similarly - when I was younger ham radio, computer and later documentary movies. And slang is the biggest challenge for me even lot of imagination is sometimes not enough 
;-) so the "rap" was a good/practical way.
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