Were you a better person before the weight loss?

I have been up and down - up and down and up.

I have found yep - I am kind of mean when I am down;(

I am NOT going to do that again next time...

it's one of my biggest fears to be honest

Maybe it's a case of '' I did it, why don't you do the same'' ????

I find that I still recycle, donate to charities, and still believe heavily in karma and being a good person. However, I've noticed I have zero compassionate for people who are overweight and just complain about it without taking action to change. It's kind of mean, I guess, but if I did it, anyone can.

Probably... but then again I was kind of an *kitten* when i was really fat too....

Personally, Im a completely different person than I was a year ago when I started this. For ME - its a positive change. Im alive again. Im not swallowing down antidepressants and feeling miserable everyday. I KNOW Im capable and strong. Thats a good thing. Whats maybe not so good is that now I dont take much crap and people who used to continually feed me said crap dont appreciate it so much anymore. So to some, Im not as great. But luckily - this new me knows that Im the one that matters.

I've always been the same.
I didn't become overweight until having my children.


The one difference is when I was thin before I used to tell people they should love themselves and that we weren't all supposed to look alike.


Now, I'll tell them they should love themselves but offer suggestions if they would like, none of that "we're all beautfful snowflakes crap" because I now realize that isn't what an overweight person wants to hear a fit person say.

Probably... but then again I was kind of an *kitten* when i was really fat too....

hahahaha, love it ;-)


i'm not that nice when i'm thin or fat, i'm probably nicer when fat.

Fuuny thing, I was just thinking about this , this morning...A friend of mine has lost about 50 pounds and has recently filed for a divorce ! She is out of control...she is out almost everyday of the week in bars, clubs going home with numerous different men and has kind of shut us out. Im thinking its becasue she doesnt want to hear what we have to say. She says " IM LIVING MY LIFE AS I WANT WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT " !!!! to be honest, I think she was a more pleasant person before the weight loss now she is turning into a snotty bar *kitten* !

Her husband who has loved her through thick and thin is lost !! and its all becasue she now getting all sorts of attention from the younger hotter men. She claims she is missing out.

MY advice: DONT FORGET WHO WAS THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU WERENT SO HAPPY WITH YOUR LOOKS BUT THEY WERE !!!!!!!!

I would rather be a little thicker and in a happy relationship than THIN AND LONELY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think my husband and friends have a hard time with the "new" me. I was all about pleasing them first. Now. I take the time to do me first. I say what is on my mind. I workout. then I "hang out". It's about finding a balance. I'm not there yet. I still have a lot of work to do on myself. I'm not happy with myself 100% yet. I still feel like I can slip up and fall back into my old lazy ways...so I say no to bad food and turn down party invites when I know I can't handle it. Does that make me a bad person. I hope not. I want to be the best mom and wife I can be and I know it will take work. BUT I must say I do think I'm a major B if i can't find time to get in a workout....

I'm still the same person, but I find that my eye changes...what is "fat" and what is "skinny" are much lower in weights now, and I REALLY don't like it...because it's reflecting on how I view myself. Doesn't impact how I treat others, though. More of an internal struggle.

I'm not very nice at times. I use to feed myself sugar to keep my mood up - not any more! Also, someone told me it was because I'm getting older (hormones or something). I called her a b*^#%, and left.

It's funny, a friend and I were just talking about this.

I am more outgoing, confident and willing to speak my mind when I feel better about myself. Feeling better can be smaller, having a really cute outfit on, nice hair style..

But for me smaller definitely equals more confidence and a bolder me.

I was a miserable PoS before I lost the weight. I was moody, sullen, a complete Debbie Downer and I hated everything and everyone...and it caused me to be a shut in. I had no interest in anything.

Jump forward to now and I'm actually a "happy" person. I talk to people now and interact more. I'm pretty positive about things and I'm always out and about staying busy. I'm not sure if it's the endorphines or a new self esteem/confidence...but I feel great.

I think some think I was better before because I was more passive and easier to use. :frown: Now that I have more confidence and can stand up for myself they don't like me so much anymore. :laugh:

The people that really matter in my life say I am better now, better attitude, more confidence etc.

interesting discussion. I can relate to a lot of what people are saying - I think it's hard not to feel a bit a judgmental of others who are overweight when you are doing this and being so conscious of every calorie you consume. I certainly don't think it's right and i try not to judge - it could just be jealousy that they are eating what they please whereas I am obsessing about everything. I think I would like to feel positive about being aware of what I eat without being compulsive.

On getting attention from others - I have to admit I am aware that I become more flirtacious when I am slimmer. In my case it doesn't mean I want to trade my OH in for someone hotter (he's quite hot himself!) but I do like to receive attention from others. Some might think it's morally dubious but I'm quite relaxed about this - i'm not going to judge others on this and don't expect to be judged in return. On those posters who have referred to friends who have become "bar *kitten*" (NB i find that term really offensive though I must say) I think we need to acknowledge how much we are judged on whether we are hot (in the straight world I think this affects women more than men although I'm sure in the gay scene the same would apply). As women we are supposed to seek validation as sex objects first and then as mothers and if you're not interested in kids and are not "sexy" there's not a role for you to play that is validated by society. If anyone has read Fat is a Feminist Issue by Susie Orbach they might recognise this idea from that .

Anyway - I've said this to a few of my MFP friends - we shouldn't forget that we're the same people inside and we shouldnt' hate our fat selves - it's really bad for for our self esteem and then perhaps as we lose weight we feel compelled to be different. I think it's a fine line because when we are trying to lose weight on one level we have to dislike ourselves to motivate ourselves but we shouldn't go too far. It's all a question of balance.