Why is losing weight so hard for me :(
LadieTink
Posts: 91 Member
Hi, I've been trying to lose weight over years. It has not worked, give or take a couple of pounds lost. I really want to try to lose weight naturally or I'm thinking of having the surgery (which I really don't want).. I have hypothyroidism so that is another concern. I am 330 and would like to lose a least 80 to 100 pounds. I can't blame my thyroids all because I never stay consistent and exercise. I always find myself going back to old habits in a matter of weeks. Help.. Any suggestions...
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copying and pasting one of my own posts, but incredibly relevant.
'm a professional dog trainer and a dog sports competitor -- stick with me, I have a point.
One of the big principals in dog training is basically about laying a strong foundation, and only increasing the difficulty when you have success 80+ percent of the time. Another one is that you make getting it right as obvious and easy as you possibly can; you set the dog up in a way that makes it almost impossible for the dog to get it wrong.
In weight loss, I am the dog.
There is no big motivation or mindset change for me, really. I started with a very simple, easy, foundation behavior that I built upon. For me that was tracking my food before I ate it. No restriction, nothing else. Just inputting what I ate into MFP. Everything else - getting enough protein, getting used to a ceiling on my calories (at maintenance first), creating a deficit - built upon the previous steps and habits, a lot of which are individual to me and my psychology.
The basics are universal though, and they are still 'lay a foundation of easy behaviors, increase difficulty slowly, add new things only when successful at the previous'.
Everyone wants to results now - in weight loss and dogs, actually - but that old 'slow is fast' saying is accurate. You can go slow and lay a really good foundation - or you can rush ahead to try to get the results you want right now, and spend the next several years or decades fixing problems that result from the holes in your foundation.
Breathe. Relax. Look and think about what things you'd like to see your life look like in the future, and then take the smallest, easiest step toward that. Get that step ingrained. Then add another one. Troubleshoot how to make things easier if you find things getting hard.
LAY A FOUNDATION before you start building.19 -
i lost my first 62 pounds by replacing the foods i ate with lower calorie versions of the same foods. instead of regular ice cream, i ate dryer's slow churned, which is lower in fat and calories and imo delish. i replaced whole or low fat fruit yogurt with non-fat, and there are some that taste very good (i love dannon light & fit cherry, peach and vanilla flavors the most) while others... not so much. i found tasty light cheese. whole eggs were replaced with egg substitute and so on. i found some new favorite soups, too, that were lower in calories and as a bonus, lower in sodium (tabatchnik has some very tasty soups!)
then i started walking regularly. i had some issues, so i started with 10 minutes per day - not super fast, but not stopping at all. then i managed to get up to 2 10-minute walks per day. my legs and cardio improved, and slowly my amount of time walking went up. but i do have to wear ankle braces and a knee brace for longer walks, so i do.
i've lost 78 pounds from my highest weight, and i've found that either a long walk or riding an indoor cycle has been the most useful exercise for me while counting calories is also very helpful and let me have enough data to tweak what i eat. i had some leg issues, so for now, i'm riding, and my legs are getting stronger and my weight is slowly creeping down. i am diabetic, and exercise and losing weight got my blood sugar down to almost normal with no meds. and flights of stairs are getting easier, too.
good luck to you
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If you can get your thyroid under control the weight loss will be easier. It took absolutely insisting on a referral to an endocrinologist for me. Which definitely meant a (mostly polite) confrontation with my GP.
Low thyroid makes it hard to exercise because just moving is harder.7 -
Well, it's really all about the calories.
So, (and I have thyroid issues) start logging food. Learn how to log food here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1234699/logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide/p1
Read this, it's excellent.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
I lost between 70-80 pounds in 2007-09. I've kept it off. I did it by eating fewer calories than I needed to be the weight I was. Pretty simple, but the biggest part was my commitment because I had to change strategies many times along the way. I found fun ways to exercise, but I'm not gung-ho on them. I don't have to be. Most days it's just a one hour walk along the trail. Beautiful and soul-nourishing and it helps with hunger and is a good thing for me in every way.8 -
Hypothyroidism is not universal weight loss doom, especially once properly medicated. There are quite a few hypothyroid folks around here who've lost weight by calorie counting.
Untreated, it can make things more difficult: One can have more extreme water weight fluctuations, hiding fat-loss progress on the scale; fatigue can make it more difficult to burn extra calories via either daily life or exercise; or one's basal metabolic rate (BMR) may even be a few percentage points lower than a non-hypo person's. But "harder" is not "doom". And proper medical treatment can erase the hypo-related "harder" part, besides.
This is a really good read, written by a (former?) MFP-er, scientist in the field of hypothyroidism, himself hypothyroid, who lost weight by calorie counting:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10767046/hypothyroidism-and-weight-management
Don't believe the disempowering untruth that hypothyroidism makes weight management universally impossible. Weight loss has challenges for everyone and anyone, those challenges just differ from one person to the next. Your list of challenges includes hypothyroidism.
So did my list: I'm severely hypothyroid, but properly medicated. I was class 1 obese or near to it for around 30 years, but at a healthy weight for the past 5+ years, via calorie counting. It's possible.
We deal with challenges by figuring out how to get over, around or through them, and reach goals despite them.
Good advice from those above about *how* to lose weight.
Wishing you success!7 -
To add to what others are saying, its possible that starting with more simple changes so you can form habits, could be a better approach. I like the below video from Jeff Cavalier. Its largely how I started before calorie counting. Its probably why i have been able to keep it off. And this is what i have my wife doing.
https://youtu.be/wJ0QXCTqjUs 5 -
First make sure your thyroid is in range and properly treated. They have recently updated the recommendations and not all older doctors are on-board, so if yours is one who thinks tsh of 4-10 is good enough, you might have a conversation with him. Everything is easier when your meds are at the right level.
Then reach down and really find your motivation. I know everyone says habits are more important than motivation, but the right motivation can work miracles. For example, my motivation is that when I got diabetes I realized I was going to lose my vision if I didn’t make changes. Funny how much I am willing to do to stop that from happening!
Look, you probably hate your job some mornings, but you get up and go to work because you need to pay your bills. You may be mad at your children sometimes but you feed and clothe them because they are your children. Put your health and your body in that same category. You have bills to pay, and the currency to pay them is exercise and diet. If you pay your body, you get to keep living in a body that works right! How much is that worth to you? It’s not optional, so stop thinking of it as optional. When you want to stop exercising and go back to old habits, just think of this as your job. You wouldn’t roll over and go back to bed and call in until you got fired from your job!8 -
Hi, I've been trying to lose weight over years. It has not worked, give or take a couple of pounds lost. I really want to try to lose weight naturally or I'm thinking of having the surgery (which I really don't want).. I have hypothyroidism so that is another concern. I am 330 and would like to lose a least 80 to 100 pounds. I can't blame my thyroids all because I never stay consistent and exercise. I always find myself going back to old habits in a matter of weeks. Help.. Any suggestions...
"I always find myself going back to old habits in a matter of weeks." That right there is why. Now it's horribly frustrating to see others drop weight quickly, or see people losing faster then you but if you stick with it you WILL lose weight. Even with hypothyroidism your body cannot completely defy science; If you eat less then your maintenance calories you will lose weight eventually. The ISSUE is that you give up.
I've been at this for 4 years now. What I want more then anything is to be in good shape and to live a longer life...and truthfully to look GREAT in a pair of jeans. Though my weight loss is slow I stick with it, because otherwise I will stay fat and sluggish and just sit here wishing my life was better. I've been in that rut for far too long.
Pick your hard: Weight loss is HARD, being Obese is HARD. Pick your hard. I chose weight loss because I feel so much better and feel like I'm happier and I've discovered a whole new world and community surrounding fitness and nutrition. When I was on my couch eating extra leftovers and potato chips I was only happy for the 15 minutes I was eating, and that's no way to live. I was coughing up stomach acid and felt bad. Also I needed to prove to myself that I had integrity, that I would and could make a promise to myself and that I'd stick to that promise.
Your problem is the comforting lie of old habits. Maybe just promise yourself one month of working really hard, just one and see where you are at the end of that month. If you are truthful with yourself consistently you WILL see results ( eat in a calorie deficit). Even if you don't exercise if you eat in a deficit you will see SOME results.
I've lost 95 pounds and have 40 to go, I have Cerebral Palsy and I STILL go to the gym. If I can do it you can.
Or...stay exactly where you are. That's the choice. Love yourself enough to want to live better and longer. YOU CAN DO IT.
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I have hypothyroidism too and losing weight is hard. I have learned to adjust my expectations and know that losing half a pound a week is a good week. Many months am closer to a pound a month down rather than a pound a week like many people are able to do. But, the overall trend is down and that's a good thing.
I had to find a lifestyle that is sustainable for me. I like exercise even though as I got heavier and older it was more difficult. But I do what I can and try to move my body at least five days a week. For food, there are some approaches that cut out certain food groups, but I knew that wasn't sustainable for me. I just log everything and make sure I stay within my calorie range.
I read something here on the boards a while back that really stuck a chord with me (kind of similar to what wmweeza was saying above) If you want to lose a certain amount of weight by a certain time, work towards it steadily. The time is going to pass anyway, so you might as well make progress even if you don't hit your goals.5 -
Why do you go back to old habits? What are you eating? Most of the time it's because people don't eat enough high bulk low calorie food that they feel unsatisfied and hungry. Are you feeling that way? Or do you go back out of comfort? What changes do you make that you find unsustainable? Maybe you need a different approach (if you are trying to cut out everything you like or make drastic changes) so that they are sustainable long term.4
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Why is losing weight so hard?
Because in our modern society: weight loss is hard. Anyone who says otherwise is either one of the very few people who find managing their weight easy (they do exist!), or they're trying to sell you something!
Because, if weight management was easy, no one would be overweight.
So don't beat yourself up for failing. You may have never been able to "stick with it", but none of that matters now. Go to the maintenance forum and you'll see people who spent many years unable to lose weight, but are now maintaining, and have been for many more years. The point is the past is in the past, all you can now do is change what you do now.
I was about to write a whole long post about stuff and realised it was pretty much going to end up with what wunderkindking said above. So I'm just going to go with: begin by making the small changes. And I mean really small. If you're not cutting back on the calories because you're just getting into the habit of logging then that's fine. If you don't add in any extra movement until you've lost a substantial amount of weight, then that's also fine*. Taking small steps will get to your end goal eventually. And it may not be fast, but you will get there eventually
The classic metaphor for this is that weightloss is a marathon and not a sprint, but I prefer the one that it's like a long drive. You COULD go as fast as you can, speeding to get to the next destination as quickly as possible, the fastest way of getting from A to B. But then you'd miss seeing the sights as you'd go. Sometimes it's nicer to come off the motorway to take the back roads once in a while, just for a change of scenery. You may not get there as fast, but you'll enjoy the trip a lot more.
*Although you don't need to move more to lose weight, many people do find that increasing movement and adding exercise helps with their goals.7 -
You can do this, you've been given a lot of great advice. Keep coming back here utilizing this app and community a little at a time and you will eventually reach your goals. The goal is to keep pushing forward 🤗1
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Lots of great advice above!
You might find the "Half Size Me" podcast inspirational and helpful. Here's a link to Heather's "Breaking The Diet Cycle" ebook:
https://www.halfsizeme.com/freebies-page/
About Heather:
https://www.halfsizeme.com/about/
"Starting at over 300 pounds after the birth of my first son, I went on to lose 170 pounds over the next five years.
Despite numerous false starts, binge eating, and too many obstacles (both physical and mental) to list here, I lost the weight naturally through a healthy diet and weight loss."3 -
You just ANSWERED you question.Hi, I've been trying to lose weight over years. It has not worked, give or take a couple of pounds lost. I really want to try to lose weight naturally or I'm thinking of having the surgery (which I really don't want).. I have hypothyroidism so that is another concern. I am 330 and would like to lose a least 80 to 100 pounds. I can't blame my thyroids all because I never stay consistent and exercise. I always find myself going back to old habits in a matter of weeks. Help.. Any suggestions...
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Hey,
My suggestion would be to truly utilize MFP to evaluate other things happening in your life. If you are returning to old habits, it's likely because you need to make meaningful change in other areas of your life. Are you stressed out a lot? Are you not getting enough sleep and therefore tired? Are you struggling to find time to prepare and eat balanced meals? Is the food you eat, while healthy, uninspiring and boring? Are you making too many changes at once?
There are a lot of factors in our lives that can knock us off our path. So when you log your food honestly, and you see that you ate a muffin with lunch, ask yourself why that happened. Don't shame yourself or feel guilty, instead evaluate these specific occurrences so you can try to make changes moving forward.
For me personally, it's a bit of all the things I mentioned above. I couldn't lose weight efficiently until I found balance in other parts of my life. I noticed I was tired all the time, so for me, losing weight started by getting a routine sleep schedule down. Cutting out caffeine helped me fall asleep faster at night, and also lessened my daily anxiety. These two things helped me feel better mentally. With more energy, I felt I could resist urges and instead make healthier food choices. But then I noticed the food I was eating was really boring, and often time consuming to make (which made faster, unhealthy meals seem more attractive). So I found healthy recipes of foods that I really enjoy that were reliable and fast to make so that when I was stressed or short on time, I could still fill up on something healthy.
Slow down, evaluate what changes you need to make in your lifestyle, and then work on one thing at a time. Once you feel confident that you have adopted a new healthy habit, then move on to the next goal. It's easy to feel impatient, but if we take on too much at once, it is easy to become overwhelmed and then drop everything.3 -
I started at the same weight, 330, in May '19. Got it down to 237, came SO CLOSE to the 100 lbs lost! I've since gained a few but have been hanging tight in the mid 240s while reaching deep for the motivation to regroup and dive back in there ...
Anyway, there's a lot of good advice above. I would just add this. 330 pounds is a hard place to start, because things seem overwhelming. Which in my case led to a self-sabotaging logic: I have to lose 100 pounds! Such a big project, I'll start tomorrow. Since I'm starting tomorrow, tonight I'm going to have a pizza and get it all out of my system. Then tomorrow comes, but tomorrow has a tomorrow too, so I can just start the next day, or week, or month. And somehow it never happens.
Here's an alternative. Have ONE solid diet day. Don't worry about the 100 pounds. Just do it right starting this minute, for the next 24 hours. Eat right, get some exercise if you can, get a calorie target from MFP's goal tool and hit it = don't eat more OR less than those calories, don't try to starve yourself for past wrongs just eat the reasonable amount of calories MFP will give you for a 1 lb per week weight loss goal. Just put one solid, consistent, diet day on the board. Then the next day, try to do the same thing. And, well you get the idea, one day at a time until you've really got it locked down, and then if it helps you to think about long term goals, then fine, but for now, little baby steps.10 -
Ok i have been at this for a month and I am not losing and im tracking and healthy for a 51 yo. Iam trying to up my game, but im on 1200 calories trying to work out and still not losing 1 -2 lbs a week. IM a bit flummoxed actually im upset. lol1
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candysashab88 wrote: »Ok i have been at this for a month and I am not losing and im tracking and healthy for a 51 yo. Iam trying to up my game, but im on 1200 calories trying to work out and still not losing 1 -2 lbs a week. IM a bit flummoxed actually im upset. lol
Hey - you'll get better help if you start your own thread on this topic
Before you do, please change your Diary Sharing settings to Public: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/diary_settings3 -
candysashab88 wrote: »Ok i have been at this for a month and I am not losing and im tracking and healthy for a 51 yo. Iam trying to up my game, but im on 1200 calories trying to work out and still not losing 1 -2 lbs a week. IM a bit flummoxed actually im upset. lol
Perhaps 1200 calories isn't a reasonable target for you. What does MFP recommend?3 -
I also have hypo. It's hard. I also found out I have thyroid cancer
all this thyroid stuff does make it harder for us, but I know we can do it. Feel free to friend request me and we can do it together ❤ 6
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