Trying to stay the course.

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victoria_smith
victoria_smith Posts: 26 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi All,

This is my first thread on here - so do excuse me if i waffle a bit.
I started my weight loss journey January 2021, making better choices for myself and exercising more. I cut a lot of toxic things from my life too - abusive parents, toxic ex - i really started to take control of my life. I started at 5'8" at 226lb and obese. I have shed 50lb of that and i am so close to healthy i can taste it lol - don't get me wrong - i am SO proud of myself for doing this and coming this far. I have now found myself in a bit of a mental battle. I have always been an all or nothing kind of person (trying to work on that) so if i make a slip up - i slip up BAD. I am really trying to call myself out on my own BS, me and my partner are planning meals so I don't make bad choices with dinner, i am taking my gym clothes to work so I go straight from work - because i know if i go home to "change" i'll never make it into the gym, my head stops me. It is a huge blessing that i have found myself with the most supportive and understanding man who encourages anything i need or want, he'll do the long walks with me, eat healthy with me, he even calls me out when he knows i am sabotaging myself. it's just me holding me back.
So basically - i guess this is a thread calling myself out and acknowledging my success so far. I woke up this morning and did a 5 minute yoga session, because something is better than just sitting on my phone waiting for my partner to finish in the bathroom. I have got dinner out defrosting- so no excuses there - and my gym stuff is in my bag for tonight.
I can't be alone in this can I? I'm sure loads of people hit a stagnant point where they end up standing in their own way? I am trying SO hard to turn it around, because i want this.
Thanks for reading!!

Replies

  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,352 Member
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    Just the fact that you're posting means your conscious of your obstacles, which is a great start.

    I think we all need to find strategies to cope with 'tricks' that our minds play on us, whether it's taking gym clothes with you to work, preplanning/prelogging meals... or simply resisting thoughts we know are bad (such as "I went over my calorie goal, everything's ruined, I might as well give up for the week and eat everything in sight" or "I ate a treat/junk food/insert 'bad' food of choice, so I'm a bad person")

    I'm not sure what you're struggling with specifically? We might be able to offer some pointers. Generally speaking, I feel like the best strategy is the one that requires the least amount of motivation. By that I mean that I like to make my weight loss as pleasant as possible:
    - I chose a slow rate of loss, so I could eat as much as possible while still losing weight
    - I don't ban any foods from my diet, I just moderate the quantities of 'treat foods' etc. to stay within my calorie goal
    - I don't force myself to do exercise I find unpleasant
    - I don't expect perfection: I have periods where I exercise every day, but I also have weeks where I only exercise 2 or 3 times, that's fine. I have weeks where I'm within my calorie goal daily, but also weeks where I struggle a bit more (for example on my period) and I allow myself to eat at maintenance (or even over). It's fine, as long as I haven't lost control and I know I'm still globally on track.

    Another thought:
    Have you thought of the possibility of eating at maintenance for a few weeks? You might just need a diet break to recharge your batteries, certainly not a bad idea after losing 50lbs, at a fairly fast rate. And it might be good practice, since losing the weight is only half of the battle, keeping it off (=not reverting to old habits) is the second part.
  • victoria_smith
    victoria_smith Posts: 26 Member
    Options
    Lietchi wrote: »
    Just the fact that you're posting means your conscious of your obstacles, which is a great start.

    I think we all need to find strategies to cope with 'tricks' that our minds play on us, whether it's taking gym clothes with you to work, preplanning/prelogging meals... or simply resisting thoughts we know are bad (such as "I went over my calorie goal, everything's ruined, I might as well give up for the week and eat everything in sight" or "I ate a treat/junk food/insert 'bad' food of choice, so I'm a bad person")

    I'm not sure what you're struggling with specifically? We might be able to offer some pointers. Generally speaking, I feel like the best strategy is the one that requires the least amount of motivation. By that I mean that I like to make my weight loss as pleasant as possible:
    - I chose a slow rate of loss, so I could eat as much as possible while still losing weight
    - I don't ban any foods from my diet, I just moderate the quantities of 'treat foods' etc. to stay within my calorie goal
    - I don't force myself to do exercise I find unpleasant
    - I don't expect perfection: I have periods where I exercise every day, but I also have weeks where I only exercise 2 or 3 times, that's fine. I have weeks where I'm within my calorie goal daily, but also weeks where I struggle a bit more (for example on my period) and I allow myself to eat at maintenance (or even over). It's fine, as long as I haven't lost control and I know I'm still globally on track.

    Another thought:
    Have you thought of the possibility of eating at maintenance for a few weeks? You might just need a diet break to recharge your batteries, certainly not a bad idea after losing 50lbs, at a fairly fast rate. And it might be good practice, since losing the weight is only half of the battle, keeping it off (=not reverting to old habits) is the second part.

    Thank you for your really helpful post. I think I need to stop expecting perfection. 50lb in a year and a half ended up being about .5lb a week - i thought that was quite a steady rate. I have to stop putting so much pressure on myself and realize i am doing well especially where i have always struggled before.
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,352 Member
    Options
    victoria_smith wrote: »
    Lietchi wrote: »
    Just the fact that you're posting means your conscious of your obstacles, which is a great start.

    I think we all need to find strategies to cope with 'tricks' that our minds play on us, whether it's taking gym clothes with you to work, preplanning/prelogging meals... or simply resisting thoughts we know are bad (such as "I went over my calorie goal, everything's ruined, I might as well give up for the week and eat everything in sight" or "I ate a treat/junk food/insert 'bad' food of choice, so I'm a bad person")

    I'm not sure what you're struggling with specifically? We might be able to offer some pointers. Generally speaking, I feel like the best strategy is the one that requires the least amount of motivation. By that I mean that I like to make my weight loss as pleasant as possible:
    - I chose a slow rate of loss, so I could eat as much as possible while still losing weight
    - I don't ban any foods from my diet, I just moderate the quantities of 'treat foods' etc. to stay within my calorie goal
    - I don't force myself to do exercise I find unpleasant
    - I don't expect perfection: I have periods where I exercise every day, but I also have weeks where I only exercise 2 or 3 times, that's fine. I have weeks where I'm within my calorie goal daily, but also weeks where I struggle a bit more (for example on my period) and I allow myself to eat at maintenance (or even over). It's fine, as long as I haven't lost control and I know I'm still globally on track.

    Another thought:
    Have you thought of the possibility of eating at maintenance for a few weeks? You might just need a diet break to recharge your batteries, certainly not a bad idea after losing 50lbs, at a fairly fast rate. And it might be good practice, since losing the weight is only half of the battle, keeping it off (=not reverting to old habits) is the second part.

    Thank you for your really helpful post. I think I need to stop expecting perfection. 50lb in a year and a half ended up being about .5lb a week - i thought that was quite a steady rate. I have to stop putting so much pressure on myself and realize i am doing well especially where i have always struggled before.

    I'm confused now, I thought you lost 50lbs since January 2021? :smile: Even at 0.5 lbs a week, any progress is good progress. I've lost 66lbs so far in 23 months, intentionally slow. It's great for building habits that will serve me well when I eventually reach maintenance. My current callorie allowance is so close to maintenance already, so the difference will be minimal.
    You're doing great, be kind to yourself :smile:
  • victoria_smith
    victoria_smith Posts: 26 Member
    edited July 2021
    Options
    Lietchi wrote: »
    victoria_smith wrote: »
    Lietchi wrote: »
    Just the fact that you're posting means your conscious of your obstacles, which is a great start.

    I think we all need to find strategies to cope with 'tricks' that our minds play on us, whether it's taking gym clothes with you to work, preplanning/prelogging meals... or simply resisting thoughts we know are bad (such as "I went over my calorie goal, everything's ruined, I might as well give up for the week and eat everything in sight" or "I ate a treat/junk food/insert 'bad' food of choice, so I'm a bad person")

    I'm not sure what you're struggling with specifically? We might be able to offer some pointers. Generally speaking, I feel like the best strategy is the one that requires the least amount of motivation. By that I mean that I like to make my weight loss as pleasant as possible:
    - I chose a slow rate of loss, so I could eat as much as possible while still losing weight
    - I don't ban any foods from my diet, I just moderate the quantities of 'treat foods' etc. to stay within my calorie goal
    - I don't force myself to do exercise I find unpleasant
    - I don't expect perfection: I have periods where I exercise every day, but I also have weeks where I only exercise 2 or 3 times, that's fine. I have weeks where I'm within my calorie goal daily, but also weeks where I struggle a bit more (for example on my period) and I allow myself to eat at maintenance (or even over). It's fine, as long as I haven't lost control and I know I'm still globally on track.

    Another thought:
    Have you thought of the possibility of eating at maintenance for a few weeks? You might just need a diet break to recharge your batteries, certainly not a bad idea after losing 50lbs, at a fairly fast rate. And it might be good practice, since losing the weight is only half of the battle, keeping it off (=not reverting to old habits) is the second part.

    Thank you for your really helpful post. I think I need to stop expecting perfection. 50lb in a year and a half ended up being about .5lb a week - i thought that was quite a steady rate. I have to stop putting so much pressure on myself and realize i am doing well especially where i have always struggled before.

    I'm confused now, I thought you lost 50lbs since January 2021? :smile: Even at 0.5 lbs a week, any progress is good progress. I've lost 66lbs so far in 23 months, intentionally slow. It's great for building habits that will serve me well when I eventually reach maintenance. My current callorie allowance is so close to maintenance already, so the difference will be minimal.
    You're doing great, be kind to yourself :smile:

    My bad!!! January 2020. Congratulations on your loss, i bet you are very proud of yourself :) I am trying to be kinder to myself. It's all part of the process lol
  • goal06082021
    goal06082021 Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Oh, thank you for clarifying that you've been at this for 18 months and not 6, I was about to say...there's your problem lol. 10lb per month is way too aggressive for most people, I'm glad that's not what you've been doing. So first, congrats on -50lb, that's awesome! Also congrats on getting away from toxic people, that is also awesome!

    I'll cosign basically everything Lietchi said - make it as easy as possible for yourself. I'll also add, do your best to let go of assigning moral values to food and eating. There are no good or bad foods, you are not good or bad for eating or not eating anything in particular. Whatever foods you currently have on your "naughty list" will still be there when you reach goal, so you would probably be better served by figuring out how to coexist with them now.

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