This is going to be a somewhat long and self indulgent post, so apologies in advance.
These jeans have a story. One that is very important to me. About 5.5 years ago I was fat. I was unhappy. I was not a good version of me. My clothes didn’t fit. I’d had enough. I needed to quit signing my own *kitten*. January 1, 2016 I decided to change that.
Since very few of my clothes fit I, went out to buy some new jeans. I wanted to buy them on sale because my goal was that they wouldn’t fit in a month. I went to The Limited and found a cute pair, size 14, for $12.00. There was one other pair of the same, size 2, also $12. On a whim, I bought them both. It was lofty, but I thought, maybe someday. 13 months later, those pants fit. Now, I FULLY ACKNOWLEDGE this is vanity sizing at its absolute worse, and a bit a stretch in the fabric… but they fit. I wept. I’m not sure I had ever been more proud of anything I had ever accomplished.
As time went on, I gained back about 15-20 (sometimes-up to 25) pounds of those originally lost. But, I just couldn’t part with those pants. Those pants were representative of the fight I knew I had in me.
As anyone who reads my posts know, I really tried again in 2021. There have been ups and there have been downs. There have recently been more ups than downs, but it’s a daily struggle and requires a very (not always achieved) concentrated effort.
Yesterday I was going through some clothes and taking them to Goodwill. I stumbled upon these pants. Still unable to get rid of them, I tossed them into the corner. This morning while cleaning up, I tried them on to see how far I had to go before they fit again. Guess what, they fit. They are snug, but they fit.
I’m not done. I haven’t even come close to meeting my goals. But, I did cry again this morning when these fit. These are so much more than a cheap pair of jeans to me. They are a reminder of what I i’m capable of. They are a reminder not to quit and they are a reminder that just because you fall down, doesn’t mean you need to stay there.