Getting Started and Feeling Discouraged

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Hi all. :) Just signed up with MyFitnessPal (again, I used it many years ago) to try to lose 40 pounds of baby/pandemic/poor diet weight. I've been down this road before, losing 20 pounds about 7 years ago...but, I'm already feeling incredibly discouraged! It seems like such a large amount of weight to lose and I don't know where to start. I'm a new, first time mom and barely have time to shower some days, let alone meal prep and work out. I would love some advice, tips, tricks, really anything that will help! Would love to connect with some supportive people to create a community!

Replies

  • wunderkindking
    wunderkindking Posts: 1,615 Member
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    Don't meal prep or work out. Don't make it hard. use guided set up, set to lose a pound a week, track your food, eat to the calorie levels MFP gives you to the best of your ability and let the rest GO. You'll get there. Expect it to take about a year and be okay with that.
  • 2tryharder
    2tryharder Posts: 31 Member
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    Not planning/prepping meals is the main thing that makes me fail. Without a plan I'll eat fast food or wait until I'm so hungry I eat anything. Food is more important than working out for now, athough if you can get in a walk with the baby stroller it would be good. I don't know if there is a similar service near you but I've used a place called Clean Eatz that sells portioned meals with macros calculated (does the meal prep for you). Or if you cook one healthy meal every few days and cook enough to portion out for lunches. I also make one big salad and split it into 5 lunches, and use yogurt dressing. Smoothies are quick and healthy for breakfast. Good luck! You did it before so you can do it again, don't get discouraged.
  • mbreit2021
    mbreit2021 Posts: 4 Member
    Options
    Don't meal prep or work out. Don't make it hard. use guided set up, set to lose a pound a week, track your food, eat to the calorie levels MFP gives you to the best of your ability and let the rest GO. You'll get there. Expect it to take about a year and be okay with that.

    Thanks for the advice. I'm my own worst enemy sometimes because I make one healthy choice and expect to lose 10 pounds! ;)
  • mbreit2021
    mbreit2021 Posts: 4 Member
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    2tryharder wrote: »
    Not planning/prepping meals is the main thing that makes me fail. Without a plan I'll eat fast food or wait until I'm so hungry I eat anything. Food is more important than working out for now, athough if you can get in a walk with the baby stroller it would be good. I don't know if there is a similar service near you but I've used a place called Clean Eatz that sells portioned meals with macros calculated (does the meal prep for you). Or if you cook one healthy meal every few days and cook enough to portion out for lunches. I also make one big salad and split it into 5 lunches, and use yogurt dressing. Smoothies are quick and healthy for breakfast. Good luck! You did it before so you can do it again, don't get discouraged.

    Thanks for the advice! Smoothies have been a life saver recently, especially with the baby and working full time too. I've been struggling with meal planning, but I think you're right. Husb and I get to the end of the day and play the "what's for dinner?" game too much!
  • mbreit2021
    mbreit2021 Posts: 4 Member
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    The key in losing weight, and take this from someone who has lost over 192 pounds, is to make small, SUSTAINABLE changes. this is a long term effort. not a sprint. you will not lose weight fast. you will not lose weight every week. you will have weeks on end with NO weight loss. its normal. trust the process.

    my main tips:

    learn how to weigh (on a food scale) your food properly and find ACCURATE database entries now. I don't know what your starting weight is, but at first you may have a lot of room for error. but as you have less to lose, you don't. If you learn how to do things properly from the beginning, it means you don't have to RE-LEARN how to do it later. If that seems overwhelming right now, just focus on eating LESS. You might not lose any weight, but maybe you will. But it may get the mindset changing, and thats a step in the right direction...

    Find an activity you ENJOY. You don't have to be a runner (ew). You don't have to work out at all to lose weight (weight loss happens in the kitchen). BUT... physical activity does have a LOT of benefits. Both mental and physical. It can be as simple as a leisurely stroll a few times a week. And as you lose weight, you may find (I did), that you WANT to do more. Simple, little things like parking a bit further out in parking lots. Taking stairs instead of elevators. walking to your mailbox instead of pulling up to it in your car as you are pulling in your driveway. Small things. Every bit counts.

    Understand that you do not have to give up your favorite foods or any food groups to lose weight. You DO need to learn how MUCH you can eat. Portion control. This goes back to my first point. For the most part, I eat the same things I always have. Just less of them. I eat burgers and pizza and chips and cookies. Just ... not all in the same day ;) well, I might could get away with it if I planned it out REALLY well. And stuck to the plan with NO deviation. Maybe. LOL

    You will have 'bad' days. Whether its a holiday or just a ... bad day. Life happens. you will go over. It is NOT the end of the world. You will not ruin your deficit with one bad day. The problems come in when that one bad day becomes two, becomes 3, becomes a week, and goes on....

    You've got this. Take it one day at a time, and each day, try to do a little bit better. Don't try to do everything all at once. Don't try to make 1000 changes all at once. Most people who burn out, do so because they try to do too much, too soon. start small. build from there. You did not gain the weight quickly. You will not lose it quickly. Better to lose it slowly, and KEEP IT OFF, then lose it quick, and gain it all back and more!

    I've been at this a long time. It becomes a part of your life, and like any other habit, you don't think about it much, really. Your eating habits slowly change. You weigh and log your food. Your activity levels (usually) change, at least to some degree. You become more mindful of what you are putting in your shopping cart and body. My one (or two) words of caution is to make these changes slowly. Most people who go 'All in' head first and full steam, burn out quick. Your first couple of weeks, maybe even first month, most people will lose a fair amount fairly quickly, but most of it is water weight (usually from a reduction in carbs). It does slow down, as your body adjusts. It's normal, and is SUPPOSED to happen, so don't get discouraged. Also, don't set your calories too low. The fastest rate of loss (1200 for women and 1500 for men) is not the best rate of loss. Although very tempting to set it to lose faster, it will make it harder for you to maintain and stick to your calorie goals because you will be ... well, hungry. Be kind to yourself, give yourself a few more calories, and you will still lose weight and be less likely to deviate from your plan and therefore more likely to succeed. :)

    Useful Links
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1234699/logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide/p1
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101/p1
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10683010/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-fluctuations/p1

    and basically ... all of these :)

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-health-fitness-and-diet-must-reads#latest

    Thank you! I think you've hit the nail on the head: my past problem has been that I try to change everything all at once (cut out baked goods, and sugar, and dairy, and and and...) then get frustrated when I can't sustain the changes. I agree too that 1,200 calories is way too low, even if it will end in quick weight loss. I need something I can stick to this time around!
  • nanastaci2020
    nanastaci2020 Posts: 1,072 Member
    Options
    My kids are adult and (mostly) out of the house and my husband and I still do the daily 'what's for dinner' conversation at 5pm. We had gotten into a decent routine, with hubs & adult son (who were home before me) making dinner 2-3 times a week but then adult son started working where he is NOT home for dinner most nights. And cooking for 2 seems like a waste of time lol. So I've accepted it is OK to pick up food on the way home, buy less groceries. And I have an arsenal of meals at various fast food places that I know can fit my needs. Not sure if this will benefit you at all - but do know you're not alone.
  • COGypsy
    COGypsy Posts: 1,227 Member
    Options
    2tryharder wrote: »
    Not planning/prepping meals is the main thing that makes me fail. Without a plan I'll eat fast food or wait until I'm so hungry I eat anything. Food is more important than working out for now, athough if you can get in a walk with the baby stroller it would be good. I don't know if there is a similar service near you but I've used a place called Clean Eatz that sells portioned meals with macros calculated (does the meal prep for you). Or if you cook one healthy meal every few days and cook enough to portion out for lunches. I also make one big salad and split it into 5 lunches, and use yogurt dressing. Smoothies are quick and healthy for breakfast. Good luck! You did it before so you can do it again, don't get discouraged.

    Oh my gosh! A Clean Eatz just opened up practically across the street from my house. I had no idea they had meal plans, I thought it was just another smoothie and salad place. I may have to pause my Splendid Spoon subscription to check them out--the menu for this week looked pretty good!
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
    Options
    mbreit2021 wrote: »
    The key in losing weight, and take this from someone who has lost over 192 pounds, is to make small, SUSTAINABLE changes. this is a long term effort. not a sprint. you will not lose weight fast. you will not lose weight every week. you will have weeks on end with NO weight loss. its normal. trust the process.

    my main tips:

    learn how to weigh (on a food scale) your food properly and find ACCURATE database entries now. I don't know what your starting weight is, but at first you may have a lot of room for error. but as you have less to lose, you don't. If you learn how to do things properly from the beginning, it means you don't have to RE-LEARN how to do it later. If that seems overwhelming right now, just focus on eating LESS. You might not lose any weight, but maybe you will. But it may get the mindset changing, and thats a step in the right direction...

    Find an activity you ENJOY. You don't have to be a runner (ew). You don't have to work out at all to lose weight (weight loss happens in the kitchen). BUT... physical activity does have a LOT of benefits. Both mental and physical. It can be as simple as a leisurely stroll a few times a week. And as you lose weight, you may find (I did), that you WANT to do more. Simple, little things like parking a bit further out in parking lots. Taking stairs instead of elevators. walking to your mailbox instead of pulling up to it in your car as you are pulling in your driveway. Small things. Every bit counts.

    Understand that you do not have to give up your favorite foods or any food groups to lose weight. You DO need to learn how MUCH you can eat. Portion control. This goes back to my first point. For the most part, I eat the same things I always have. Just less of them. I eat burgers and pizza and chips and cookies. Just ... not all in the same day ;) well, I might could get away with it if I planned it out REALLY well. And stuck to the plan with NO deviation. Maybe. LOL

    You will have 'bad' days. Whether its a holiday or just a ... bad day. Life happens. you will go over. It is NOT the end of the world. You will not ruin your deficit with one bad day. The problems come in when that one bad day becomes two, becomes 3, becomes a week, and goes on....

    You've got this. Take it one day at a time, and each day, try to do a little bit better. Don't try to do everything all at once. Don't try to make 1000 changes all at once. Most people who burn out, do so because they try to do too much, too soon. start small. build from there. You did not gain the weight quickly. You will not lose it quickly. Better to lose it slowly, and KEEP IT OFF, then lose it quick, and gain it all back and more!

    I've been at this a long time. It becomes a part of your life, and like any other habit, you don't think about it much, really. Your eating habits slowly change. You weigh and log your food. Your activity levels (usually) change, at least to some degree. You become more mindful of what you are putting in your shopping cart and body. My one (or two) words of caution is to make these changes slowly. Most people who go 'All in' head first and full steam, burn out quick. Your first couple of weeks, maybe even first month, most people will lose a fair amount fairly quickly, but most of it is water weight (usually from a reduction in carbs). It does slow down, as your body adjusts. It's normal, and is SUPPOSED to happen, so don't get discouraged. Also, don't set your calories too low. The fastest rate of loss (1200 for women and 1500 for men) is not the best rate of loss. Although very tempting to set it to lose faster, it will make it harder for you to maintain and stick to your calorie goals because you will be ... well, hungry. Be kind to yourself, give yourself a few more calories, and you will still lose weight and be less likely to deviate from your plan and therefore more likely to succeed. :)

    Useful Links
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1234699/logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide/p1
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101/p1
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10683010/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-fluctuations/p1

    and basically ... all of these :)

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-health-fitness-and-diet-must-reads#latest

    Thank you! I think you've hit the nail on the head: my past problem has been that I try to change everything all at once (cut out baked goods, and sugar, and dairy, and and and...) then get frustrated when I can't sustain the changes. I agree too that 1,200 calories is way too low, even if it will end in quick weight loss. I need something I can stick to this time around!

    it makes it much easier to eat the same things you always have, just learn to weigh and log properly, and stay within your calories. set a reasonable deficit. you didnt gain fast, you wont lose fast. thats okay. slow progress is still progress. :)
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
    Options
    I'm all about the minigoals! Rather than putting in my ultimate "goal weight", I set my initial goal to be losing 10% of my body weight. When I started at 209 lbs, that meant setting my goal to lost 20.9 lbs, or a goal weight of 188.1.

    When I got to 188, I did it again, and set my goal to lose 10% off my NEW weight, or 18.8 lbs= 159.3

    yup!! i have almost always worked in 10 pound increments.

    thinking about losing 10 pounds is a LOT easier than thinking about losing much much larger amounts!
  • Turtlemummy
    Turtlemummy Posts: 71 Member
    Options
    Hi, don't be too hard on yourself! Several yrs ago I had similar post baby weight to lose. When daughter was 6 months, I had a PT for 3 months. Plan was pay attention to food intake but not stress, continue breastfeeding, twice weekly workouts. Exercise and sensible eating worked just fine, but it was a long slog. I'm back here now 6yrs later through sheer laziness. Or rather maintaining exercise but ignoring food intake. CallsitlikeIseeit is right, eat well, watch your portions, and include exercise. If you're a new mum, the rest can wait!
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,415 Member
    edited September 2021
    Options
    mbreit2021 wrote: »
    The key in losing weight, and take this from someone who has lost over 192 pounds, is to make small, SUSTAINABLE changes. this is a long term effort. not a sprint. you will not lose weight fast. you will not lose weight every week. you will have weeks on end with NO weight loss. its normal. trust the process.

    my main tips:

    learn how to weigh (on a food scale) your food properly and find ACCURATE database entries now. I don't know what your starting weight is, but at first you may have a lot of room for error. but as you have less to lose, you don't. If you learn how to do things properly from the beginning, it means you don't have to RE-LEARN how to do it later. If that seems overwhelming right now, just focus on eating LESS. You might not lose any weight, but maybe you will. But it may get the mindset changing, and thats a step in the right direction...

    Find an activity you ENJOY. You don't have to be a runner (ew). You don't have to work out at all to lose weight (weight loss happens in the kitchen). BUT... physical activity does have a LOT of benefits. Both mental and physical. It can be as simple as a leisurely stroll a few times a week. And as you lose weight, you may find (I did), that you WANT to do more. Simple, little things like parking a bit further out in parking lots. Taking stairs instead of elevators. walking to your mailbox instead of pulling up to it in your car as you are pulling in your driveway. Small things. Every bit counts.

    Understand that you do not have to give up your favorite foods or any food groups to lose weight. You DO need to learn how MUCH you can eat. Portion control. This goes back to my first point. For the most part, I eat the same things I always have. Just less of them. I eat burgers and pizza and chips and cookies. Just ... not all in the same day ;) well, I might could get away with it if I planned it out REALLY well. And stuck to the plan with NO deviation. Maybe. LOL

    You will have 'bad' days. Whether its a holiday or just a ... bad day. Life happens. you will go over. It is NOT the end of the world. You will not ruin your deficit with one bad day. The problems come in when that one bad day becomes two, becomes 3, becomes a week, and goes on....

    You've got this. Take it one day at a time, and each day, try to do a little bit better. Don't try to do everything all at once. Don't try to make 1000 changes all at once. Most people who burn out, do so because they try to do too much, too soon. start small. build from there. You did not gain the weight quickly. You will not lose it quickly. Better to lose it slowly, and KEEP IT OFF, then lose it quick, and gain it all back and more!

    I've been at this a long time. It becomes a part of your life, and like any other habit, you don't think about it much, really. Your eating habits slowly change. You weigh and log your food. Your activity levels (usually) change, at least to some degree. You become more mindful of what you are putting in your shopping cart and body. My one (or two) words of caution is to make these changes slowly. Most people who go 'All in' head first and full steam, burn out quick. Your first couple of weeks, maybe even first month, most people will lose a fair amount fairly quickly, but most of it is water weight (usually from a reduction in carbs). It does slow down, as your body adjusts. It's normal, and is SUPPOSED to happen, so don't get discouraged. Also, don't set your calories too low. The fastest rate of loss (1200 for women and 1500 for men) is not the best rate of loss. Although very tempting to set it to lose faster, it will make it harder for you to maintain and stick to your calorie goals because you will be ... well, hungry. Be kind to yourself, give yourself a few more calories, and you will still lose weight and be less likely to deviate from your plan and therefore more likely to succeed. :)

    Useful Links
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1234699/logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide/p1
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101/p1
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10683010/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-fluctuations/p1

    and basically ... all of these :)

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-health-fitness-and-diet-must-reads#latest

    Thank you! I think you've hit the nail on the head: my past problem has been that I try to change everything all at once (cut out baked goods, and sugar, and dairy, and and and...) then get frustrated when I can't sustain the changes. I agree too that 1,200 calories is way too low, even if it will end in quick weight loss. I need something I can stick to this time around!

    it makes it much easier to eat the same things you always have, just learn to weigh and log properly, and stay within your calories. set a reasonable deficit. you didnt gain fast, you wont lose fast. thats okay. slow progress is still progress. :)

    Can I second what @callsitlikeiseeit has said, here and above?
    And in regard to continuing to eat the same things, I'll chip in something I've been doing:

    There are some foods that I've basically eliminated from my diet, Marie Callender's Chicken Pot Pie for one. I used to eat plenty of fatty foods. That's changed, but...
    While I will try to resist certain foods, mostly sweets, as best I can, I acknowledge when a craving is threatening to derail me. When that happens, I enjoy a very small helping, and I eat slowly and savor each and every bite. While I'm eating, I'm aware that I'm paying a cost in calories, but also thinking of how satisfied and sated my taste buds are becoming. 😁
    Instead of consuming half a pint of Haagen Dazs ice cream at a time, as I used to do, I can thoroughly enjoy four teaspoons. I do the same thing with potato chips: instead of cramming a handful at a time in my mouth, I take four or five chips from the bag, and I eat each one individually, slowly, savoring the flavor. It turns out volume is not the key to satiety! Big Surprise! 😂

    My last advice is, focus on a future goal that you're trying to reach, and all the while consider whether each action is in pursuit of that goal or in pursuit of some instant gratification. Make most, but not all, actions in pursuit of the former. And know that the future you will be very appreciative of and grateful for the efforts and sacrifices the present you has made/is making.

    P.S. I don't mean to sound like it's a torturous journey you are on (although it might be at times), but there is also a joy to be found in that you are on that journey.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,988 Member
    Options
    2tryharder wrote: »
    Not planning/prepping meals is the main thing that makes me fail. Without a plan I'll eat fast food or wait until I'm so hungry I eat anything. Food is more important than working out for now, athough if you can get in a walk with the baby stroller it would be good. I don't know if there is a similar service near you but I've used a place called Clean Eatz that sells portioned meals with macros calculated (does the meal prep for you). Or if you cook one healthy meal every few days and cook enough to portion out for lunches. I also make one big salad and split it into 5 lunches, and use yogurt dressing. Smoothies are quick and healthy for breakfast. Good luck! You did it before so you can do it again, don't get discouraged.

    We were out walking our cat just now and ran into our neighbor who was just walking back from the Walgreens on the corner with his baby in the stroller - 0.6 miles. They also walk to Dunkin Donuts with the baby in the stroller - an impressive 1.2 miles.

    I plan too. Often I look at the supermarket flyers and decide on a few meals then. I always have meat in the freezer and staples in the frig and pantry, so as long as I start thinking in time to defrost, I'm good.

    I also cook enough meat for a number of meals and swap out the carbs and veggies over the next few days. For example, my partner will grill a big batch of chicken. On colder days we might have it with tortellini or raviolis with green beans and on hot days an entrée salad.
  • bobsburgersfan
    bobsburgersfan Posts: 6,348 Member
    Options
    A friend of mine who has kids was recently telling me that they had gotten in the habit of eating out a lot, and so she started making a list of meals that they can make at home and leaving it on the fridge. She incorporates some weekly planning, so it includes specific things that she shops for that week, but it also includes meals that she always has ingredients for. So then when it came time to figure out dinner, they have a list to pick from.

    She didn't have a newborn so that complicates things, but I still like this tip for when you do have a bit more time for cooking.

    I hope you get lots of tips from moms who understand what that's like, but I do know that no matter your situation, you can do this!
  • pridesabtch
    pridesabtch Posts: 2,368 Member
    Options
    When my first kiddo was born, I was very overweight and decided that was not the role model I wanted for her. I made very small changes. I'm not a big breakfast person, so I usually didn't eat it. I had a turkey sandwich or salad for lunch most days and a Hershey bar everyday and ate half the portion size at dinner that I did before. I was also lucky enough that there was a gym close to me that offered free child watch. This was a God send. Not only did it help me out physically, but mentally as well. I needed some adult me time. I loved being home with my daughter and playing happy housewife, but I needed something that was just for me. I had never been a gym person and it was tough to get started, but gym folks tend to be really nice if you have questions. I started slow with just some cardio and then added weight machines. The machines were easier because form was kind of built in. After some time at the gym, I started taking some classes and figured out what I likes. For me it was a combo of a strength class and a spin class on alternating days. Eventually I even taught classes. My kids are now 16 & 18 and I've lost my way fitness and weight wise, but what I did when they were young was very effective. I slowly lost the baby weight and the extra weight eating smaller portions at dinner and planning my one snack a day.

    Best of Luck, Nikki
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,806 Member
    edited September 2021
    Options
    mbreit2021 wrote: »
    Don't meal prep or work out. Don't make it hard. use guided set up, set to lose a pound a week, track your food, eat to the calorie levels MFP gives you to the best of your ability and let the rest GO. You'll get there. Expect it to take about a year and be okay with that.

    Thanks for the advice. I'm my own worst enemy sometimes because I make one healthy choice and expect to lose 10 pounds! ;)

    Nope. That’s as much the abominable “one simple trick” advertising as anything. We’ve all sunk into a desperate scramble to find “the” simple trick.

    As @callsitlikeiseeit says, build up sustainable habits one or two at a time.

    Log, weigh. You’ve been here before so know how. It’ll come back to you pretty quick.

    Voila! You’re on your way. 👍🏻
  • refactored
    refactored Posts: 399 Member
    Options
    One thing I did before officially starting is to simply log what I ate without trying to change anything. It was a real eye opener. I have only started recently and, even if I have a bad day, I still try to log. I was amazed how quickly I could rack up the calories in a short period of time and it helped me to think more about the consequences of overeating.

    I am chipping away at my bad habits slowly but I think I am making progress. I think small changes over a longer period of time are more likely to yield long term success. Like I said I am only starting out so I hope I am right!

    Chin up and keep going. This is a marathon not a sprint. Stumbling along the way is likely. As soon as we stumble get back up immediately and don't wait for a new day.