Disgusted with myself

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Alialena
Alialena Posts: 28 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I'm so desperately ashamed... I now weigh 215 pounds... This isn't good for my regular health nor my mental health so, here I am... back again. I desperately hope to be back under 200 pounds by my 35th birthday on November 4th. Please cheer me on?

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  • booboo1000
    booboo1000 Posts: 58 Member
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    You can do this! My only caution is not to focus on 15 pounds in a month. If you stop gaining and lose 5, 10, or 12 you’ve still won. Slow but steady. Some disappointments but mostly success. Log, log, log. Balance your diet and aim for nutritious filling foods vs. empty calories.

    Can you find a positive motivator instead of disgust? Mine was getting healthier and reducing COVID risks.
  • Speakeasy76
    Speakeasy76 Posts: 961 Member
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    booboo1000 wrote: »
    You can do this! My only caution is not to focus on 15 pounds in a month. If you stop gaining and lose 5, 10, or 12 you’ve still won. Slow but steady. Some disappointments but mostly success. Log, log, log. Balance your diet and aim for nutritious filling foods vs. empty calories.

    Can you find a positive motivator instead of disgust? Mine was getting healthier and reducing COVID risks.

    Agree with all of this, especially the bolded. Trying to lose weight out of shame or disgust may have worked initially for me, but it always backfired. The reason why positive, problem-solving based discipline is so popular today is that it works much better in the long run than punitive, shaming type of discipline. I also caution against having a deadline for reaching a certain weight you'd like to be. Again, this always backfired for me because weight loss is rarely linear. I"d get upset/anxious that it didn't seem like I'd reach my goal by the time I wanted to, and sometimes would make me want to just give up. You want to keep the weight loss off for life, right? So in reality, there should be no rush. In fact, small, incremental changes are much more sustainable than quick-fix weight loss.

    I do think focusing on how much better you feel both physically and mentally when you eat better and move more is a good, positive way to keep you headed in the right direction. Many people here have been successful in losing AND (more importantly, iMO) keeping the weight off, so there's no reason why you can't, too!
  • Eltriste73
    Eltriste73 Posts: 126 Member
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    You are doing the right thing. Make sure your motivation comes from a positive place. While it is OK to be mad at yourself, the anger might pass and you might quit once anger disappears. Anger is a great motivator, but mix it up with good! You are awesome, most people feel these things but do nothing about. You are doing something and it will bear fruit!!
  • pridesabtch
    pridesabtch Posts: 2,315 Member
    edited October 2021
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    Right there with you, but as others have said we need to find a new positive focus.

    When I was 38 I was my heaviest (then) it took 2 years to get healthy, but it was little by little. First I just looked at calories that helped. Then I started adding exercise, that helped. Eventually, I started working with a coach who guided my nutrition and workouts that kicked me into high gear. I couldn't have skipped straight to the end because that would have been too many changes for me all at once and would not have been maintainable. I was in the best shape of my life between 40 & 42.

    Some things happened that got me off track, and I'm starting over and not too different than you are except I'm 13 years older. I turn 48 on October 9th, and I'm starting again with baby steps. I've tried skipping to the end phase with a coach and strict diet, and it was too much for me right now. By 50 I want to run another 1/2 marathon and do century rides on my bike again. That's a long term goal, but for right now I just need to lose some weight.

    So again I'm just going to look at calories for a bit and making some healthier choices to meet this goal. Once I get this going, I'll add in more activity. The plan is that I will give myself October to stay on track with a healthier approach to eating without going overboard.

    Quite frankly, at my current size I find it difficult to do the things I used to enjoy like riding and running, as my name suggests my pride can be my downfall in this area. I don't want to be seen as I am, because I was so good before it's hard to have to start over from ground -1(below zero). I need to get over this, that will just be another baby step I'll have to take. I am not training for any events right now that require a coach, and I've learned many skills in my journey so I may or may not take that last step in the same manor this go around. I know that I can get healthy as long as I don't get ahead of myself or obsess over the scale.

    I HATE the saying that this is a journey, but it is true. There are times I'll go over in calories, but it doesn't mean I've ruined all my hard work and that I'm not making progress. Kind of like getting to work and realizing you forgot your computer at home. You gotta go back and get it, and it adds a little time to the trip, but you still get there even if it isn't when you planned. 15 pounds in a month is a lot. If you don't hit that goal, don't see it as failure, see the progress you made and move on. As BooBoo said, 5, 10 12 is still a loss, and a step in the right direction, celebrate it don't see it as failure.

    Best of luck! Hope this made sense...
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    The key in losing weight, and take this from someone who has lost 200 pounds, is to make small, SUSTAINABLE changes. this is a long term effort. not a sprint. you will not lose weight fast. you will not lose weight every week. you will have weeks on end with NO weight loss. its normal. trust the process.

    my main tips:

    learn how to weigh (on a food scale) your food properly and find ACCURATE database entries now. I don't know what your starting weight is, but at first you may have a lot of room for error. but as you have less to lose, you don't. If you learn how to do things properly from the beginning, it means you don' have to RE-LEARN how to do it later.

    Find an activity you ENJOY. You don't have to be a runner (ew). You don't have to work out at all to lose weight (weight loss happens in the kitchen). BUT... physical activity does have a LOT of benefits. Both mental and physical. It can be as simple as a leisurely stroll a few times a week. And as you lose weight, you may find (I did), that you WANT to do more. Simple, little things like parking a bit further out in parking lots. Taking stairs instead of elevators. walking to your mailbox instead of pulling up to it in your car as you are pulling in your driveway. Small things. Every bit counts.

    Understand that you do not have to give up your favorite foods or any food groups to lose weight. You DO need to learn how MUCH you can eat. Portion control. This goes back to my first point. For the most part, I eat the same things I always have. Just less of them. I eat burgers and pizza and chips and cookies. Just ... not all in the same day ;) well, I might could get away with it if I planned it out REALLY well. And stuck to the plan with NO deviation. Maybe. LOL

    You will have 'bad' days. Whether its a holiday or just a ... bad day. Life happens. you will go over. It is NOT the end of the world. You will not ruin your deficit with one bad day. The problems come in when that one bad day becomes two, becomes 3, becomes a week, and goes on....

    You've got this. Take it one day at a time, and each day, try to do a little bit better. Don't try to do everything all at once. Don't try to make 1000 changes all at once. Most people who burn out, do so because they try to do too much, too soon. start small. build from there. You did not gain the weight quickly. You will not lose it quickly. Better to lose it slowly, and KEEP IT OFF, then lose it quick, and gain it all back and more!

    I've been at this a long time. It becomes a part of your life, and like any other habit, you don't think about it much, really. Your eating habits slowly change. You weigh and log your food. Your activity levels (usually) change, at least to some degree. You become more mindful of what you are putting in your shopping cart and body. My one (or two) words of caution is to make these changes slowly. Most people who go 'All in' head first and full steam, burn out quick. Your first couple of weeks, maybe even first month, most people will lose a fair amount fairly quickly, but most of it is water weight (usually from a reduction in carbs). It does slow down, as your body adjusts. It's normal, and is SUPPOSED to happen, so don't get discouraged. Also, don't set your calories too low. The fastest rate of loss (1200 for women and 1500 for men) is not the best rate of loss. Although very tempting to set it to lose faster, it will make it harder for you to maintain and stick to your calorie goals because you will be ... well, hungry. Be kind to yourself, give yourself a few more calories, and you will still lose weight and be less likely to deviate from your plan and therefore more likely to succeed. :)

    Useful Links
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1234699/logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide/p1
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101/p1

    and basically ... all of these :)

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-health-fitness-and-diet-must-reads#latest
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    Every day is a new beginning. Every meal is a new start.
  • sophgirl602
    sophgirl602 Posts: 2 Member
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    Alialena wrote: »
    I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I'm so desperately ashamed... I now weigh 215 pounds... This isn't good for my regular health nor my mental health so, here I am... back again. I desperately hope to be back under 200 pounds by my 35th birthday on November 4th. Please cheer me on?

    You can do it! Just take it one day at a time and put the past behind you. Baby steps!!!
  • booboo1000
    booboo1000 Posts: 58 Member
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    I was there and little more around your age and lost and gained over and over. I have had my most successful efforts in the past two years and am currently at half my heaviest weight, and am learning how to stay around this weight.

    Feeling shame is understandable but will not help. Setting too ambitious a goal in the beginning might be counterproductive.

    You likely will lose more in the first week than any other single week, but you should have a relatively low goal for weekly loss after that. Maybe a pound and a little bit a week. Slow weight loss should be kinder on your skin. At your age your skin should do better than mine did. I'm not happy about it, but I feel so much better and now that I'm not overheating all the time I can comfortably wear sleeves!

    My initial goal this time two years ago was simply not to gain. I lost a little bit over the next couple of months and then became increasingly deliberate in my efforts. I set small goals: 10 pounds over 2 months wasn't unusual.

    Log, log, log! I have been cooking to feed the freezer with single portion foods for a year now and it has become a habit. Takes a couple of hours a week, but each day is a breeze. I log my meals the night before and don't fall prey to take out menus.

    I walk for cardio vascular fitness and do not eat back any calories as I am not able to be that active. That might change a little bit when the Central New York snow shoveling season starts and I might have to add a few more calories to continue to maintain.

    You can do this!

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