This is why Corn is my best friend...

ME: "This auditor in our office this week is so cute. younger than me. rail thin, and pretty... with the WORST streak of dark pink blush every single day. she's been here all week. I really want her to fix the blusher and she'd be perfect."

CORN: "Leave it. It makes her inferior to you. While you're fat and older, you can apply blush flawlessly."

The end.