Surviving Toxic love ...
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Best way to survive.................don't get involved in that type of relationship.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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6/6 for me. Grateful every day I am free3 -
Versicolour wrote: »
6/6 for me. Grateful every day I am free
The same is here.3 -
Best way to survive.................don't get involved in that type of relationship.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Easy to say. I would never have chosen that for myself. But by the time you realise what is going on, you are already in it and there are two ways out: death and ripping your shattered heart and mind out of your body and burning them to ashes. There were times I wished for death. Thankfully I had my kids to live for, so I did not go gentle into that good night7 -
You don't realise they chip little bits away from you bit by bit until you don't recognise yourself ... Those little digs that come across as jokes eat away at you.
The anger escalates and you're left feeling wtf all the time . 😞6 -
Heyo, it is too early in the morning for you to be this real😂 I’m not ready to deal with ma trauma today4
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Should I get snake tatts under my eyes .... Asking for a midlife crisis 🤣3 -
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jst_dropping_in wrote: »CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »Heyo, it is too early in the morning for you to be this real😂 I’m not ready to deal with ma trauma today
Vodka goes very well your morning grinds (🤢)
Don't tempt me fam4 -
@CaptainFantastic01 don't do it!! Step away from the vodka 🤣1
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@emjaybeb--don't do it sunshine--don't mess with the beauty2
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Best way to survive.................don't get involved in that type of relationship.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
They never start like "that type" of relationship, they usually start for a good length of time as the best, most loving relationship you've ever had, and often all of your friends and family rave about how this person is "the one" because they're so wonderful.
And then there's usually a really good explanation for why this wonderful person goes through a period of being distant, like their family member died, or trouble at work, etc. Something totally understandable, especially since they swing right back into being amazing afterwards.
Then this cycle continues and things gradually, but steadily devolve, but by this point, you're so sucked into their drama that it's very hard to be objective, but it *always* feels like you're just a little bit of effort and patience away from things being as good as they were at the beginning.6 -
So subtle, so corrosive, Pointing out when I left the lights on, Constant blaming for the smallest thing (putting spatula in the wrong drawer) Constant criticism. 'Do you call that clean? I still see spots on the mirror'. Guilt tripping 'I guess I'll have to do it myself, and then my back will be hurting for the rest of the day'. Questioning every debit purchase you made. 'Why did you spend $2.95 AT wendy's last Monday? We have plenty of food in the refrigerator. Self righteous and judgemental. 'If you were commited to Jesus you wouldn't have such long hair. I am ashamed to be seen with you'. And the conditional love. 'I was thinking maybe we could fool around tonight, but not after you wouldn't tell me what our daughter texted you'.
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OpheliaCooter wrote: »
He clearly has never been exposed to that kind of trauma before. If you haven't lived it, you just don't get it.6 -
I'm willing to bet not one person who found themselves in a toxic relationship actively searched for it. Speaking from experience, many times the toxic person is so good at manipulation that you initially identify it as healthy. It very much feels like drowning slowly and only when you've been able to claw your way out do you start to peel back the layers and see things clearly.7
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Karma is a good friend.
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I tend to get invested in someone to quickly and to easily, I'm am also rather emotional which has left me vulnerable to people that have no issue using and abusing someone.
I've been in a few toxic relationships myself and for the longest time thought that there was something wrong with me. It took a long time for me to realize that it was not me and that I was not to blame. Once I started to believe in myself and started to have self-confidence again I found happiness from within and then found it in someone else.
Don’t let the users steal the worth you have with in you.
Also, don’t get any face tattoos, snakes or otherwise.
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@emjaybeb fineeee0
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@DWBalboa Agreed!
Intensive counselling is helping me with this ... I'm definitely a work in progress but it's still really raw for me right now. I'll get there though .. so glad you found your person 💪🏻
No I won't 😅 I have 3 tattoos and no plans on getting anymore just yet.
I do however have a "thing" in piercing my ears right now lol 😂4 -
Finding yourself again, being happy and believing is the hardest thing for me.3
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@emjaybeb
Since it's still really raw for you I would be mindful of opportunistic people who will take advantage of your wounds as you may be considered easy supply for their ego. That's both in person and online. I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope you're able to heal and find peace 💛4 -
They always seem to be able to read just how to wrap you around their fingers. Then they draw you in with all the 'easy to please' whispering and saying, until you've been drawn in hook, line and sinker and you're sure it's a love you've never felt before and never will again so you're very afraid of seeing it for what is truly is and never feeling those feelings again.
They touch upon every emotional need you have.
I think that's part of the reason that at this point in my life, I've built an extremely high wall around myself that doesn't let anyone near. Gotta protect my feelings. Hate losing people.5 -
They always seem to be able to read just how to wrap you around their fingers. Then they draw you in with all the 'easy to please' whispering and saying, until you've been drawn in hook, line and sinker and you're sure it's a love you've never felt before and never will again so you're very afraid of seeing it for what is truly is and never feeling those feelings again.
They touch upon every emotional need you have.
I think that's part of the reason that at this point in my life, I've built an extremely high wall around myself that doesn't let anyone near. Gotta protect my feelings. Hate losing people.
I feel the same way. Three different relationships, three different presentations. Whole worlds of hurt.
Maybe it's me. Maybe it's Maybelline. lol
Either way, I am safer and better off alone - at least until the kids are grown and out of the house (so they don't have to deal with any dating trauma). I'm not sure if I can fully trust again.4 -
There's eros and then there's love. We really don't know what we're gonna get in a relationship until the eros phase is over. Most, particularly men, have no problem practicing eros but love is a different animal. And eros can only last so long.3
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