Surviving Toxic love ...



  • Indee19
    Indee19 Posts: 47 Member
    Karma is a good friend. :)
  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,551 Member
    @emjaybeb fineeee
  • emjaybeb
    emjaybeb Posts: 58 Member
    @DWBalboa Agreed!

    Intensive counselling is helping me with this ... I'm definitely a work in progress but it's still really raw for me right now. I'll get there though .. so glad you found your person 💪🏻

    No I won't 😅 I have 3 tattoos and no plans on getting anymore just yet.

    I do however have a "thing" in piercing my ears right now lol 😂
  • tomms3617
    tomms3617 Posts: 78 Member
    Finding yourself again, being happy and believing is the hardest thing for me.
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,609 Member
    edited October 2021
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Best way to survive.................don't get involved in that type of relationship.

    Sometimes toxicity is all we think we deserve.
  • kinetixtrainer2
    kinetixtrainer2 Posts: 6,818 Member
    emjaybeb wrote: »

    Should I get snake tatts under my eyes .... Asking for a midlife crisis 🤣

    Yes! 😁
  • leftalone1
    leftalone1 Posts: 6 Member
    edited October 2021
    Since it's still really raw for you I would be mindful of opportunistic people who will take advantage of your wounds as you may be considered easy supply for their ego. That's both in person and online. I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope you're able to heal and find peace 💛
  • KickassAmazon76
    KickassAmazon76 Posts: 4,081 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    They always seem to be able to read just how to wrap you around their fingers. Then they draw you in with all the 'easy to please' whispering and saying, until you've been drawn in hook, line and sinker and you're sure it's a love you've never felt before and never will again so you're very afraid of seeing it for what is truly is and never feeling those feelings again.
    They touch upon every emotional need you have.

    I think that's part of the reason that at this point in my life, I've built an extremely high wall around myself that doesn't let anyone near. Gotta protect my feelings. Hate losing people.

    I feel the same way. Three different relationships, three different presentations. Whole worlds of hurt.
    Maybe it's me. Maybe it's Maybelline. lol

    Either way, I am safer and better off alone - at least until the kids are grown and out of the house (so they don't have to deal with any dating trauma). I'm not sure if I can fully trust again.
  • Arc2Arc
    Arc2Arc Posts: 421 Member
    edited October 2021
    There's eros and then there's love. We really don't know what we're gonna get in a relationship until the eros phase is over. Most, particularly men, have no problem practicing eros but love is a different animal. And eros can only last so long.
  • leviathan55
    leviathan55 Posts: 12 Member
    Based in my observations, people get into those kind of relationships because they are unconsciously trying to fill a personality void. My advise: learn to live by yourself (meaning: learn to be alone with your thoughts and face them). People tend to use relationships as a crutch when something is missing. Know yourself first before getting involved. Believe me you'll spot trouble a mile away!
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,329 Member
    Arc2Arc wrote: »
    [ And eros can only last so long.

    Long Enough.....

    That is, until the restraining order is issued and the Uber pulls away.
  • Hiawassee88
    Hiawassee88 Posts: 19,504 Member
    You've been given some really great advice.

    Don't start none. Won't be none.
    I know myself. If you should find yourself leaning upon the opinion poll of others you can end up in a bad place. Wear what makes you happy and eat the foods you really enjoy. Take full responsibility for everything and make all of your own decisions.

    Learn to trust your instincts. If someone diminishes your personality you are with the wrong person. When they analyze and try to shrink you into tatters and like hail. Judging every move you make and every breath you take is cuckoo. If you can't make the simple decisions without wanting someone to breathe down your neck it's better to be alone. Wait for the road that leads to compassion, accountability and celebrating individuality which runs both directions.

    Hold space for healthy communication and never ever let anyone shrink you into thinking inside their box. There is no box.

  • Singing_Banshee
    Singing_Banshee Posts: 44 Member
    Well done you guys that seen it was toxic and escaped the situation then trying to help others that don’t know what is going on or what to do 👏🏻