Today is my Birthday -What better time to change

RisingPhoenix1107
RisingPhoenix1107 Posts: 7 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I am a liar, a pretender, a promise-breaker.

On a regular basis, I promise to change my lifestyle. I promise myself to lose weight, to get healthier, to exercise, to move more. Yadah, yadah, yadah.

I lie to myself, tell myself every evening that tomorrow I will start to live better, that from tomorrow on I will lose weight, just to find myself making the same promise in the evening again -after a failed day.
I fail myself...over...and over...and over.

I pretend it doesn't bother me but it does. I am unhappy with my weight. I am frustrated with myself. I am like a hamster in a wheel, running in circles. I have managed to lose a little, to gain back more.
2019 I signed up at MFP weighing 312, now I weigh 353 lbs. WTH is wrong with me?

Today is my birthday and what better day for reflection could there be?
Where will I be next year? Ballooned up to 400 lbs or down in the 200? My choice, my call!
I call it quit!
No more lying to myself. No more pretending. No more broken promises.

I can make my dream come true. I want it bad enough. I am back, will try to stay. Will give it my all!

Replies

  • TheCrimsonCheese
    TheCrimsonCheese Posts: 4 Member
    You can do this! I just sent you a friend request, would love to help share encouragement on the good and the bad days.
  • RisingPhoenix1107
    RisingPhoenix1107 Posts: 7 Member
    Thank you so much for your friend request.
  • PAPYRUS3
    PAPYRUS3 Posts: 13,259 Member
    Happiest of Birthdays to you...awesome birthday present for yourself🎁
  • RisingPhoenix1107
    RisingPhoenix1107 Posts: 7 Member
    IslandGal3 wrote: »
    One day at a time...you can do this.
    Happy birthday!

    Thank you. I hope so.
  • RisingPhoenix1107
    RisingPhoenix1107 Posts: 7 Member
    PAPYRUS3 wrote: »
    Happiest of Birthdays to you...awesome birthday present for yourself🎁

    Thank you. I thought it would be the perfect date.
  • alyshaccc
    alyshaccc Posts: 5 Member
    You got this!!! The choice is truly yours ❤ happy birthday!
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    You aren't a liar.

    You just haven't truly been READY. when you are... you will make the change. That is how this works.

    And, Happy Birthday! You share a birthday with one of my FAVORITE beings.... my Holly Jolly! The Great Pyrenees to the right in my pic here. I am going to steal my MFP status update from yesterday and put it below LOL (pretty typical of the BS i post on my wall here, feel free to send a friend request if you dont mind silliness, randomness and lots of profanity LOL)


    ********
    me: HOLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Holly: Yes Mama?
    me: GUESS WHAT IT IS TODAY???????
    Holly: The day you shoved daddy in the casket for calling you a chicken and eating your candy?
    me: No. well, yes. But no.
    Holly: Sunday?
    me: no. well, yes, but no.
    Holly: Do we keep playing this game or.....
    me: ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Holly: oh
    me: YOU ARE OFFICIALLY TWO!!!!!!!!!!
    Holly: Two what?
    me: Two years old!!!!!!!!!
    Holly: oh. Is it time to go to work yet? It's really dark out there
    me: Let me love on your first
    Holly: okay
    me: This means you are NOT a baby anymore, okay?
    Holly: I think I weigh more than you, Mama. I'm not a baby.
    me: well, not quite but almost. But you are a BIG GIRL NOW
    Holly: ummmmm ok. I've been guarding the livestock since I was 6 months old. From bears. coyotes. mountain lion. foxes.
    me: Yes I know you are NOT A PUPPY ANYMORE. a BIG GIRL NOW!
    Holly: ummmmm ok. can we go to work now? Hagrid, mom has.... lost her mind I think. Can you help me?
    Hagrid:
    WOOF WOOF WOOF
    me: What are you barking at?
    WOOF WOOF WOOF
    scratches frantically at door and whines
    Hubby: He hears something, let them out
    (I let them out)
    Dogs tear down steps
    Holly: Thanks Hagrid, mom was acting REALLY weird
    Hagrid: Anytime.....
  • RisingPhoenix1107
    RisingPhoenix1107 Posts: 7 Member
    alyshaccc wrote: »
    You got this!!! The choice is truly yours ❤ happy birthday!

    "The choice is truly yours." Wow, that's what I needed to read today.
  • RisingPhoenix1107
    RisingPhoenix1107 Posts: 7 Member
    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    You aren't a liar.

    You just haven't truly been READY. when you are... you will make the change. That is how this works.

    And, Happy Birthday! You share a birthday with one of my FAVORITE beings.... my Holly Jolly! The Great Pyrenees to the right in my pic here. I am going to steal my MFP status update from yesterday and put it below LOL (pretty typical of the BS i post on my wall here, feel free to send a friend request if you dont mind silliness, randomness and lots of profanity LOL)


    Thanks
  • UberAya
    UberAya Posts: 94 Member
    Happy Bday - and be gentle on yourself. We all stumble. You got this...one step and one day at a time. =)

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