Help!
ketcher20
Posts: 21 Member
Anyone else get super discouraged pretty quickly? I feel like I try very hard but if I see ANY weight gain I feel defeated. And when I see weight loss I don’t PHYSICALLY see changes….
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Replies
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I’m the same!! I have put on over 80 pounds since the pandemic started. Mostly to my belly. I feel so defeated when I see my body in the mirror. I really need a lot of encouragement and support!!!
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Anyone else get super discouraged pretty quickly? I feel like I try very hard but if I see ANY weight gain I feel defeated. And when I see weight loss I don’t PHYSICALLY see changes….
What do you mean by 'try very hard'? If it means being very restrictive (low calories and/or banning certain foods from your diet) and/or jumping into an intense exercise regime, then it's no wonder you feel discouraged quickly.
I've lost 70lbs by (more or less) eating my regular foods in smaller portions/different proportions, losing at an (intentionally) slow rate 0.5lb per week. That way my weight-loss was 'painless' and easy to keep up. Exercise was something that came gradually along the way, starting with walking and then building up from there.
Also, weight fluctuations are normal, you might want to use a weight trend app to see your weight trend through the fluctuations: Happy Scale, Trendweight or Libra.12 -
Anyone else get super discouraged pretty quickly? I feel like I try very hard but if I see ANY weight gain I feel defeated. And when I see weight loss I don’t PHYSICALLY see changes….
What do you mean by 'try very hard'? If it means being very restrictive (low calories and/or banning certain foods from your diet) and/or jumping into an intense exercise regime, then it's no wonder you feel discouraged quickly.
I've lost 70lbs by (more or less) eating my regular foods in smaller portions/different proportions, losing at an (intentionally) slow rate 0.5lb per week. That way my weight-loss was 'painless' and easy to keep up. Exercise was something that came gradually along the way, starting with walking and then building up from there.
Also, weight fluctuations are normal, you might want to use a weight trend app to see your weight trend through the fluctuations: Happy Scale, Trendweight or Libra.
But what if the weight won’t come off?? I’m trying to lose weight slowly with small changes. I would LOVE to lose 0.5 pounds per week! But my weight keeps going UP at about that rate instead. I am TRYING to lose the weight but I keep getting fatter and it is very discouraging.
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If you tell us more about yourself and your strategy, perhaps we can help you troubleshoot?3
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Anyone else get super discouraged pretty quickly? I feel like I try very hard but if I see ANY weight gain I feel defeated. And when I see weight loss I don’t PHYSICALLY see changes….
What do you mean by 'try very hard'? If it means being very restrictive (low calories and/or banning certain foods from your diet) and/or jumping into an intense exercise regime, then it's no wonder you feel discouraged quickly.
I've lost 70lbs by (more or less) eating my regular foods in smaller portions/different proportions, losing at an (intentionally) slow rate 0.5lb per week. That way my weight-loss was 'painless' and easy to keep up. Exercise was something that came gradually along the way, starting with walking and then building up from there.
Also, weight fluctuations are normal, you might want to use a weight trend app to see your weight trend through the fluctuations: Happy Scale, Trendweight or Libra.
But what if the weight won’t come off?? I’m trying to lose weight slowly with small changes. I would LOVE to lose 0.5 pounds per week! But my weight keeps going UP at about that rate instead. I am TRYING to lose the weight but I keep getting fatter and it is very discouraging.
The weight will come off...obviously you're still eating too much. Sorry, but it's just that simple unless you have some endocrine issue that needs to be addressed by a doctor.
Are you logging food every day? Start there. In a month you'll have good data on which to base your calorie needs.10 -
I was having a really hard time sticking to my calorie goals and seeing only minor losses which quickly disappeared. I started and stopped several times over the course of several months, but I just couldn’t seem to figure out how to stay motivated long enough for things to feel less difficult.
So, I decided to try weighing myself only once a month. It’s probably the best decision I could have made. I instantly felt less self-induced pressure to be perfectly on track. Because if I have one less than stellar day, it is balanced out by the excellent days. It’s a simple idea, but the more days I have in a weight loss period, the less important it is to be 100% on point in order to see results.
If your particular goal is to lose 0.5 pounds a week, and yet you find those half pounds to be less than inspiring, imagine how they will all add up to a bigger number if you extend the time between weigh-ins. It might not work for you, but if you are truly looking for a way forward, I think that trying different approaches can be helpful.
You still have to do the work, but I have found that focusing more on the process and less on the results has made me feel less stressed and more successful. I made it through my first 30 day period and I plan to continue this way for at least a few months. I will probably transition to more frequent weight checks as I get closer to my goal, but a monthly schedule is what is working for me at the moment.5 -
[/quote] But what if the weight won’t come off?? I’m trying to lose weight slowly with small changes. I would LOVE to lose 0.5 pounds per week! But my weight keeps going UP at about that rate instead. I am TRYING to lose the weight but I keep getting fatter and it is very discouraging.[/quote]
In addition to the questions above, are you weighing everything that you eat and measuring every liquid? Are you logging everything that you consume? Are you checking that the database entries you use are correct? If not, that's where to start. Most people who claim to not be able to lose are not actually logging (accurately) and don;t actually know how much they're eating.
OP, losing slowly is the best way to learn what keeps you satiated, what portion sizes are, what you can / can't eat within the number of calories you can eat per day without putting on weight etc. Set yourself mini goals to treat yourself to something nice for every 5 or 10 lb lost. In the 'useful posts' section at the top of this forum, there's a post about the fluctuations of scales - I suggest you take a read and you'll see that it's perfectly normal for weight to go up and down. The key thing is to track whether, overall, you're trending downwards. Note what you weigh now, comeback in 6-8 weeks and see what you weigh then. If it's less than you weigh now, you're on target. If it'snot, consider whether you're logging accurately.
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I know! You're all set for the meal plan to begin and you lose three pounds in a whole month and then you gain two back.
You keep a notebook or your phone and everything that goes into your mouth each day is counted. Any exercise is going to be counted. Your weigh date is weekly (every Monday or every Friday). Then after two or three weeks, then you make a plan.
-2 to -5 lbs. a week: Wow!
-0.5 to -1.5 a week: Great!
0 to 1 lb a week: It's probably water weight
1.5 to 2.5 a week: It's probably your period
3+ a week: I would probably make a plan
1. First of all, know your weights.
I weigh 265 and 5 foot 7 inches (I'll make it 1/2 inch taller when I do my BMI). I'm obese!
2. Drink plenty of water. Try 6-8 glasses of water.
It's winter, folks! It's no time for brown urine.
4. Exercise.
It's a must to get your blood flowing, shake the depression off, and get your Vitamin D.
5. How can I plan on eating a healthy mixture meat/meat substitute or veggies a day?
While I do "keto", I fix and eat my own food, and I eat the "dirty keto": prepared foods. Prepared foods are my chicken sausage (under 2 g of sugar) and microwave-able half-Brussel sprouts. I have to have my Burmese minted chicken and wok stir-fried lamb with tofu, red bell peppers, string beans, garlic and house special soy sauce, with cauliflower rice once every two weeks. I'll have a chicken salad three times a week. Chain stores like Taco Bell, McDonalds, or Panda Express, put sugar or flour in their food. Read about it.
While I do "keto", it's up to your choice how you get to your healthy weight.
6. How can I get on a healthy meal plan for the rest of my life, not just for a diet?
Now you're getting it!
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If you can find a way to focus primarily on improving health & fitness, and let weight loss be a 'side effect' of that it makes it a tad bit easier. But essentially you have to come to terms with the fact that weight loss and then weight maintenance is a long term (life long!) process. There is no 'end' date.
It is annoying when we are doing all the right things and the scale is slow to show results. But do keep going. The benefits to being more active and eating a reasonable amount are SO MUCH MORE than just a number on a scale.3 -
Calorie deficit, gallon of water a day and 10k steps a day and do not stress results. Stay consistent and you will get results. The more you loose your calorie deficit will change, the harder it is to burn calories so must increase activity level. Sometimes we will go without results for a bit because our body is changing. Stay consistent through that time and then boom more results.0
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cmriverside wrote: »[
The weight will come off...obviously you're still eating too much. Sorry, but it's just that simple unless you have some endocrine issue that needs to be addressed by a doctor.
Excuse me!?
I AM keeping track of my calories and I AM gradually reducing my calories but I’m still gaining weight.
I CAN’T reduce my calories any more because I’m freaking HUNGRY If I eat any less than I’m eating now, it’s just not enough to make my body feel satisfied.
You don’t get to decide what’s “too much” food for someone else’s body. I find that really offensive!0 -
Wow. Just wow.
At the risk of being reported AGAIN, you gain weight by eating more calories than you burn. Period. If you're hungry, maybe there are more satiating foods you could eat? Haven't tried to look at your diary so no idea what you're eating. There are many people here who have been through what you're going through and know what they're talking about. You just have to be open enough to listen to them.8 -
cmriverside wrote: »[
The weight will come off...obviously you're still eating too much. Sorry, but it's just that simple unless you have some endocrine issue that needs to be addressed by a doctor.
Excuse me!?
I AM keeping track of my calories and I AM gradually reducing my calories but I’m still gaining weight.
I CAN’T reduce my calories any more because I’m freaking HUNGRY If I eat any less than I’m eating now, it’s just not enough to make my body feel satisfied.
You don’t get to decide what’s “too much” food for someone else’s body. I find that really offensive!
We don't actually know how many calories you are eating, what foods you are eating, how long you have been trying to lose weight and how much you have gained instead of losing.
Without that, we can only guess at the possibilities:
- you could be eating too much (for example if you're not logging accurately and eating more than you think)
- if you're hungry, it might be improved by playing around with what you're eating (different macro distribution, different meal frequency,...)
- perhaps you're letting weight fluctuations get to you and it's not actual fat gain (water retention for example)
- if you're not eating too much (according to your stats etc) then there might be a medical issue
At the moment, we can only do some guesswork (but the reactions you've gotten are based on the most likely options, based on the people who have posted on these forums in the past, it's nothing personal, even if they are a bit direct).6 -
Excuse me!?
I AM keeping track of my calories and I AM gradually reducing my calories but I’m still gaining weight.
I CAN’T reduce my calories any more because I’m freaking HUNGRY If I eat any less than I’m eating now, it’s just not enough to make my body feel satisfied.
You don’t get to decide what’s “too much” food for someone else’s body. I find that really offensive!
I think you're overreacting a bit by being "offended" here.
You stated you gained 80+ unwanted pounds.
Weight gain is due to a surplus of calories.
Ergo, you have been steadily consuming too many calories.
Whether or not you feel hungry is irrelevant to the facts. If I ate nothing but candy all day, I'm sure I could still be hungry and could still be consuming too many calories. In fact, in another thread*, you stated:
It feels really, really uncomfortable to realize that you consume in 1 day:
• 5 cans of soda
• 4 bags of chips
• 7 bags of M&Ms
• 32 Oreo cookies
You then also stated you were consuming > 4,000 calories/day, followed by:
I’m not even close to a calorie deficit
Don't you think it's possible to make better food choices, that would GREATLY increase your satiety, but would also GREATLY reduce your calorie intake? In the other thread, people, including myself, were encouraging you to learn to cook at least some basic stuff, or to at least order healthier food because you said you got so much of your food delivered. People suggested meal prep services rather than fast food and loads of other options, including simple ways to prepare your own meals. Have you made those changes? Similarly, you had ton of reasons why you couldn't/wouldn't exercise; have you increased your physical activity levels?
Nobody is trying to offend anyone here, but feelings =/= facts. You obviously (per your own statements) have a huge emotional attachment to food; part of breaking that is going to be finding a way to not get "offended" whenever someone states an objective fact. It's not a personal attack on you or your character; it's literally stating that CI > CO results in weight gain.
* https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10839023/getting-back-in-shape-after-80-pound-pandemic-weight-gain-please-help/p1
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Honestly?
32 oreos?
Amateur.
Oreos did help get some milk in me tho. Cuz of, you know, the oreo crumbs I got to drink down with it.
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I promise this will be relevant to the sub-thread that's going here about gaining when one should be losing.** Its a comparison, to start.
I'm a rower (boats). I row lots, so do some of my friends. We work steadily at trying to do it better, because it's a technical sport.
Some of my friends learned to row, but don't do it often (ever, really) anymore. They tend to lose skills and fitness during their looooong periods of not actually rowing. They want to "be a rower", because it seems/sounds cool, is exciting to talk about at parties, has a rep for being good for a person, etc. . . . but they don't actually want to do the things that make a person an actual rower, i.e., row. For hours. And get more lessons. And practice. And row.
There are analogies in the world of body weight management, I think.
It's not enough to want to be thin, fit the cute clothes, get the good numbers on health checks, etc. "Being a dieter" is not "being a slim, healthy person".
To be managing weight, it won't work to "go on a diet" periodically, throw oneself into it 197%, fail out because it's impractical, takes too much time, isn't pleasant . . . then stop for a long time, and lose whatever progress had happened, and maybe get even heavier before. That's wanting to be a slim person, but not doing the things it actually takes to get better at managing weight, actually *become* a slim person, and stay one.
IMO, it isn't about willpower, motivation, discipline, taking extreme techniques that seem noble, make for great conversation fodder ("I'm on trendy XYZ diet, eating nothing white, can't go out for drinks . . . "). It's about committing to changing habits in sustainable ways, and sticking with it forever. It takes time and attention for a while at last, and it's frankly pretty boring stuff, no one wants to hear about it. ("I'm swapping cinnamon rolls for breakfast for cinnamon oatmeal with Greek yogurt forever" = boring. )
To be a slim, fit person, it's essential to find how to live like one on the reg, somewhere along the line, in a way that sustainable and happy for oneself as an individual. Being a serial dieter is not being a slim person. Saying that one wants to lose weight, be a dieter, but doing nothing practical about it with any consistency . . . even less successful.
** (It may not be relevant to the OP, because the thread basically has been re-routed to someone else.)5 -
I totally understand where you're coming from, @ketcher20! I've been juggling with a weird weight scale too, but I've decided to take what the scales tell me with a big grain of salt. It's hard to see the weight loss, especially when you can only see yourself as the unwanted version of yourself in the mirror! I think that's why they stress the importance of taking measurements and progress photos of yourself. The scale will lie to you (water weight retention, overeating for one day, and that food are still in your tummy, muscle growth, etc.), but the measurements will never lie! You might not see it, but if the measures are slowly moving in the direction you want, it's still progress! Keep at it! You got this!
For me, I measure all parts of my body and track all the measurements weekly. It's almost a guarantee we won't lose excess fat in the area we most desire first. The scale barely moved in the three weeks I've started, but my measurements did. Of course, I can't see the changes at all in the mirror, but that's encouragement enough to keep going! Sometimes, we just need to find different ways to measure progress to keep that motivation up. 2 -
It's a balancing act, at least for me.
I had to keep my head 'in the game' enough to keep doing what I needed to do, but otherwise it had to basically stay as a background part of my life. Focused, sustained, 'motivated' effort for a year or more would not work for me. Too easy to derail, too easy to get discouraged.
So I tried to keep it easy. I logged, I made small changes at a time, and otherwise I just carried on with my life. Not seeing physical changes is also normal. I'm 65lbs down/totally normal BMI. I don't really SEE that difference in a mirror, just in pictures, and even then it took me probably losing 40 to really notice.
Basically, do what you need to do but don't make it the focus of your life. It's hard. I have faith you can get there.5 -
Anyone else get super discouraged pretty quickly? I feel like I try very hard but if I see ANY weight gain I feel defeated. And when I see weight loss I don’t PHYSICALLY see changes….
I think the Half Size Me episode # 500 would be very helpful for both you and @CurvyEmmy.
https://www.halfsizeme.com/hsm500/2 -
I think wanting to see instant results is natural - but not realistic.
You have to be in it for the long haul whilst remaining consistent.
Counting every calorie honestly and making small changes will make a difference over time.
It's not instantaneous - slow and steady wins the race 😊4
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