Here goes another attempt

justmatt912
justmatt912 Posts: 2 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hello.

My name is Matt. I'm starting this for the... I can't even remember how many times. I’m hoping that starting today, not 1/1 will take the “resolution” pressure off. I plan to follow CICO.

I know the date that I get started is not what brings change, it must be me that changes. That’s been the hard part. I have such an unhealthy addiction to overeating. When I get hungry, I’m like a drug addict looking for my next “fill.” I sit at the dinner table sizing up the kids plates to see where I can get some extra food. I’ll even stay in the kitchen and offer to clean up after everyone is gone so that I can finish everyone’s plates without being caught.

I feel terrible. I’m currently sitting with a stomachache because of how I ate today while my wife was at work. Any time I’m not working, and she is, its like blank check for me to eat whatever I want. You know, my dad is a chain smoker and I used to tell him to just quit. You know what you’re doing will kill you. But he never would. I know fully now what he goes through. I know I need to stop. I’ve been told by loved ones that I’m going to hurt myself the way I eat.

This went on a little longer and darker than I thought, but in this moment of clarity I realize that lying to you all wouldn’t be a good start. I hope this goes better. I hope I can change. And I hope to make some connections along the way.

Thanks all. You all are an inspiration.

Replies

  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 38,196 Community Helper
    Hi, Matt, and welcome to MFP!

    Yes, lying to us might be a bad start . . . but telling yourself the truth is a really excellent start.

    If you commit yourself to change, I feel confident you can change. I think anyone can, with persistence. The path may not be straight, help of various types (including professionals!) may be part of the picture, but positive progress is possible.

    I admit, I've not had eating compulsions, much, personally. I can't offer sensible advice about that. I was obese, but over-ate mostly for pleasure: Food is good! I found logging with MFP very helpful, including logging when I ate more than was really sensible for me at the time. I could look at that, think about why things happened (that I didn't really want to have happen again!) and make plans to change. Test-driving those plans would reveal whether they worked (yay: keep that change!) or didn't (think of something else to try). Keep chipping away. Now, I've been at a healthy weight for 6+ years, after around 3 previous decades of overweight/obesity. Change is possible.

    Wishing you much success in finding a path to permanent healthy relationship with food, and healthy weight!
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Welcome. You'll find many people on here with your problem. It's possible to change--if you want it. First off, get your daily calorie goal from MFP. Get a digital food scale and start weighing and measuring everything you eat and drink. It takes awhile to visually see your portion and understand how much you can eat. It has to be just right--enough to fuel you, but let you slowly lose the excess pounds. There are many threads that will give you excellent starting information, the stickies. Take your measurements weekly and keep a journal. When your weight loss stalls you can pull out that tape measure and see how much you've lost. Read the success threads on MFP. They will give you a boost when you need it.

    Secondly, this is long term and you'll need patience and consistency. If you have a bad day, or a special meal, occasion, birthdays, etc. just get back to staying within your goal the following day. You'll need to change things as you lose, and learn. That's all normal and don't be afraid of it.

    Lastly, move more if you can. Walking is good to start.

    Wishing you the best of luck.
  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,294 MFP Moderator
    Definitely some great advice here from some really knowledgeable members. Just remember, no *single* action (or food or fitness decision) will sink your ship, or make a success of your voyage. Our health and our fitness are a representative compilation of *all* our decisions. If you made what you feel is a bad decision or took what you feel is a bad action, remember - it was only one decision or action. The one you take next is just as important, if not more so.

    I think many people 'fall off the wagon' because they have a bad day, or a bad week and just give up. We have all had those - what you do after that bad day/week/whichever time frame is what will make or break your weight loss / fitness journey.

    :flowerforyou: You've got this, Matt.
  • Coupongrl79
    Coupongrl79 Posts: 193 Member
    I really like the honesty of your post. If you can, I would try to be as honest with your spouse as you were here about your thought processes with food. I'm a binge eater and I know it is sometimes easier to be honest with strangers we will never meet who share our struggles than those closest to us who don't share the same struggles. There was alot of shame for me in disclosing to my family the extent of my food issues but hiding it hindered my progress.
  • JBanx256
    JBanx256 Posts: 1,479 Member
    Hey Matt! Your post is pretty heavy but this is a step in the right direction. Always feel free to reach out if/when you need to!
  • justmatt912
    justmatt912 Posts: 2 Member
    Thank you all for the great information, inspiration, and overall acceptance.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 38,196 Community Helper
    Y'know, one of the things I really love about MFP is that there are so many people here who are willing to spend some of their own time typing, because they sincerely want to help me (and others) to succeed.

    Yeah, there will be diverse opinions, sometimes arguments or other kerfluffles, but most people want to help, and they do it for free. That's pretty amazing, to me.

    Wishing you success!

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