why are people so quick to tell you to stop loosing weight?

Options
SummerReen
SummerReen Posts: 5
in Health and Weight Loss
noway: Is it just me? I am 5"11 and I was close to 300 lbs. It's been about a year and I've managed to loose 94 pounds so far. I have a consistent exercise program that I do 4 days a week and I've changed my eating habits and log my food daily on MFP. All of these have contributed to my weight loss success, along with a lot of hard work and sacrifice.

What bugs me the most is that most of my closest friends and co-workers are so quick to tell me "you don't need to loose any more weight", or "you're not trying to loose anymore weight are you? You look fine and should stop", This bugs me for quite a few reasons.

The number 1 reason is: where was your concern when I was 1 Mc nugget away from weighing 300 lbs? No one told me, "hey you're not trying to put on any more weight are you?"

The number 2 reason this bugs the heck out of me is that I am NO WHERE NEAR where I physically even look unhealthy. I still weigh 205 lbs.!! I feel like I have to tell people this to get them to shut up about my weight loss which brings me to:

My 3rd biggest issue which is: now everyone's a dietician or physician. Their usual reply when I tell them what my weight is, " Oh, well your tall so you’re suppose to weigh that much or else it's unhealthy".

I have actually gotten into arguments with people about my weight and them trying to tell me what my goal weight should be. When I tell them what my goal is (which I shouldn't have too,) I still have to hear, "that's too thin". I've been 175 all of my life up until I had kids-- that's been my average weight. That puts me at a size 12, which is my goal weight and size. I really would like to be able to say something polite without having to give out my current weight and dress size vs. my goal size in order for other people to be "on board" with my loss weight journey. I hoping to get some good feedback or suggestions on what to say or do. Even some random guy at the gym said, “hey you’ve lost a lot of weight, you’re not going to loose any more are you?’ I appreciate people noticing but it just DRIVES ME NUTS!!! Help! Your thoughts???
«1

Replies

  • killerqueen17
    killerqueen17 Posts: 536 Member
    Options
    Just ignore the haters... they are probably jealous. I think you sort of encourage it by giving them specific numbers and that sort of thing... maybe don't tell them what you weigh, or what your goals are. If they comment on your weight loss, just tell them thanks for noticing... and if they ask if you still want to lose, just tell them you really just want to feel fit and healthy.

    I think that the numbers are none of their business!! Just keep doing what you're doing and let them talk. :)
  • fit4lyfeLisa
    fit4lyfeLisa Posts: 529 Member
    Options
    I am dealing with that now, and it gets right on my last nerve.
  • KBrenOH
    KBrenOH Posts: 704 Member
    Options
    I haven't reached that point yet, but when I do -- and if I hear it, I'll politely tell them to mind their own business the first time. I might even be just as nice the second.. but the third time - they'll understand just how tired I am of them butting into my personal life un-invited.
    Good luck.
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
    Options
    I get this too and I just grin and go on. I am 5'8 and right at 160 lbs but I've realized this isn't my real goal weight and I need to lose some more. I think some people don't know how to give a compliment but instead give back handed snide remarks. If you're not happy then just tell them you'll stop when you get ready to :) Best of luck and congrats on the 94!
  • jamielee37
    jamielee37 Posts: 57 Member
    Options
    I would just say that you're going to lose until you feel happiest in your skin, which is pre kiddies. If they press remind them that it's your body and you're doing this for health reasons. (you can always make up a reason if they press, such as family health history)
    You're absolutely right though, it's absolutely none of their business. If they're douches you're allowed to tell them that too! Stick up for what you want girl! Great progress...you keep it up as long as you healthily do so =)
  • cheshirechic
    cheshirechic Posts: 489 Member
    Options
    I'd say "I appreciate the concern, but I'm just staying healthy." When people at work comment on my weight loss, or tell me that I'm "disappearing" (which I'm definitely not!), I tell them, "I'm doing it the healthy way this time!" That usually stops them, with the idea that they don't REALLY want to hear about my food issues. Or I'll start talking about my plan (# of calories, deficits, workout plan per week, etc.), and they'll usually become uninterested. This isn't a great answer, but I hope it helps.

    Or, you could just refer them to MFP. I tell everyone about it. ;D
  • MikeSEA
    MikeSEA Posts: 1,074 Member
    Options
    I had a co-worker tell me that I was happier when I was fat. I resisted the urge to ask them what their excuse was. I cite this as proof that they were incorrect in their assessment.
  • BabyDuchess
    BabyDuchess Posts: 353 Member
    Options
    I completely understand.....I've had it happen to me a few times and I try to take it with a grain of salt and let it flow gently in one ear and out the other. Bottom line is that it's my body and I'm going to do what I feel is best for me. And I agree that we shouldn't have to explain this to ANYONE....especially to people that we didn't ask opinions of. :flowerforyou:
  • bethdris
    bethdris Posts: 1,090 Member
    Options
    I think ppl are trying to be "supportive". I get the same thing too. Im 5'9 started at 246 and now weigh 155..When I was about 180 ppl starting asking when did I plan on stop losing... My answer: When I am at LEAST in the "heathy' range on the BMI chart. ( didn't answer this way to everyone). That put me at 169 and thats the HIGH end of the "healthy"...

    You have to weigh whatever makes you feel good about YOU! Some people are just too darn nosy for their own good...esssh...you don't ask them...Really, your going to eat another piece of pie?
  • sister_bear
    sister_bear Posts: 529 Member
    Options
    A friend and I had this discussion last night. People who love you, truly love you are happy for you no matter how they feel about themselves. People who don't love you are hung up on their own feelings and reflect that back at you. When they say vile, hateful, or just negative things IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. They're expressing an insecurity, a disappointment or frustration with themselves that they can't ignore when facing your success.

    I just reassure folks that I'm working with my doctor and appreciate their concern. I smile and bite my tongue as far as not appreciating their hateful scorn and attempts to sabotage me.
  • lausa22
    lausa22 Posts: 467 Member
    Options
    My friend, who is a twig, keeps telling me I don't need to lose weight and that I'm 'not eating properly'
    I just tell her she's wrong, but it gets on my nerves sometimes. For me, it's always the skinny ones that tell you not to lose weight!
  • lisasbig30
    lisasbig30 Posts: 20
    Options
    Jealousy is a nasty little green monster that loves the company of misery. The best advice that I can give you is keep smiling and keep doing what you are doing. When those types of people start making comments like that then it means you are doing something right. When someone ask you something like "You aren't going to lose anymore weight are you?" reply by changing the subject to them somehow if it is only to ask how their family is.
  • LA_proud
    LA_proud Posts: 162 Member
    Options
    I am there with you. I have this one lady at church who is just all over me. I have lost 35 lbs since I started my journey on 4/19. Now she says to me, if I lose any more weight no one will be able to say anything to me. Well guess what honey, you cant say anything to me now!!!

    Keep your head up and strut right past all the people who do not have your best interest at heart!
  • Misiaxcore
    Misiaxcore Posts: 659 Member
    Options
    They're jelly of our success and dedication.
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
    Options
    I know...it drives me crazy. No one said ANYTHING when I was 5'5 and 160, but now that I'm 5'5 and 131...I get so much crap about it. I didn't know that a new love for working out and healthy food was bad. Ugh... :( One time, one of my friends did admit she was jealous and that's why, but for everyone else, I don't know!
  • khartley535
    khartley535 Posts: 151 Member
    Options
    I just reassure folks that I'm working with my doctor and appreciate their concern.

    This is what I would suggest too. Tell them that you've discussed your goals with your doctor and he/she is perfectly ok with it.
  • Shastabugg1
    Shastabugg1 Posts: 28
    Options
    I completely agree with kilkerqueen17. Don't give numbers and figures, its obvious you've lost weight at this point. Don't come to the point where u have to defend yourself or get into an argument, if u politely yet assertively tell these people your not at your goal and you'll continue to lose till you are they will get the point.

    And it probably is a case of haterism, smile and dismiss :)
  • lisadlocks
    lisadlocks Posts: 212 Member
    Options
    You are doing so well.

    I am starting to get the same responses.They now are saying that I am too skinny and I weigh 200 pounds and I am 5'9. I tell people that I am doing this for my health and then they no longer have anything to say. I agree that most people don't know what to say or they are jealous of my discipline. Either way it is my body and my health. Compliments are welcomed, everything else PLEASE keep to yourself.
  • kje2011
    kje2011 Posts: 502 Member
    Options
    You do what you need to do!!!! other people's opinions....well, they are just opinions. It is great to get support not negativity. I am proud of you for losing the weight, Keep up the good work!
  • sister_bear
    sister_bear Posts: 529 Member
    Options
    I completely agree with kilkerqueen17. Don't give numbers and figures, its obvious you've lost weight at this point.

    Yes. I don't tell anyone my goal. My husband, my doctor, and my best friend know. No one else knows. It's none of their business. And when folks press, I just smile and tell them I'm not done yet. I'm good at changing the subject. If they ask me how much I've lost, I may tell them, but I'm not really even comfortable doing that depending on the person.

Categories