Lol

mantherzemail wrote: »

I've been learning to eat healthy since the beginning of this month but it's still not enough because I love chips and fruit snacks lol. I've given up all carbonated drinks, sweets, ice cream and most processed foods. My husband eats all of that crap. It's hard to cook for both of us and our child when they both are picky. So I usually eat the same thing but a lot less or more simple.

You have to have the right mind set to accomplish your goals. Is it worth eating your craving and feeling like a failure or worth sticking to your goal and health? That doesn't mean give it up for life, but starting out I would give it all up.

The part I bolded seems to me not to reflect all of the possible options, and the overall idea it implies is alien to me personally. (Doesn't mean it can't work for others!)

First, it's just food. Why feel like a failure if you eat some, even if something unplanned? Feeling guilty or bad doesn't burn any extra calories, it feels icky, it doesn't help the process . . . why do it? If you didn't want to have eaten it, as you think back, spend a few minutes figuring out why it happened, revise your plan going forward to avoid a repeat, then let it go. You're not a failure, you just hadn't grooved in the right plan for you yet. Failure is a thing that happens if we totally give up permanently, y'know?

To me, losing weight - and perhaps more importantly staying at a healthy weight long term after that loss - is a matter of finding the right balance. In the mix for good balance are calories, feeling reasonably full, nutrition, tastiness, practicality, cost, social connection . . . among other factors.

Some things about finding that balance, IMO:

* To manage weight, it's important to average out to the right number of calories over short periods (week-ish, maybe), but every day doesn't need to be perfect. Close is good, most of the time: A little under, a little over, no big deal.

* Good overall nutrition is important for health. Big Picture, that generally means enough protein, enough healthy fats, plenty of varied/colorful veggies/fruits for fiber and micronutrients, most days, on average. Absolute daily perfection isn't essential. Again, it's about average out in a pretty good place, and that's a thing we can work at reaching gradually. If you're not starting with a diagnosed deficiency, you can take some time to dial in good nutrition, in a manageable, practical, tasty way.

Further, many crave-able foods have some nutrients. They can be fit in, in reasonable portions, or maybe just less frequently than before.

Yes, some people find it helpful to eliminate them temporarily, but if you're not willing to give something up forever, then it's a good idea to figure out how to fit it in eventually, while you still have that cushion of a calorie deficit in case there are slip ups. (We all have slip-ups. Just improve your plan, keep going, no big deal.)

The idea that there are "healthy foods" and "crap foods", at an individual food level, is IMO not accurate or useful. What matters is which foods fill out our nutrition on average on any given day. There are foods that are less nutrient-dense, more calorie dense, that need to be "sometimes" foods, probably.

If I have my protein, fats, and veggie/fruit intake in good shape, and still have calories available, there's absolutely no reason not to have a reasonable treat food with those calories, IMO. Could be candy, a cookie, a beer, ice cream, fast food fries/chips, doesn't really matter. (Well, too much beer too often is a bad plan, for health reasons. Some, occasionally, NBD IMO.)

Processed-ness IMO is particularly irrelevant. If a food has nutrients I need to round out my day, I don't see why it's any kind of problem to be getting those nutrients from processed foods like pasta, yogurt, bread, protein powder/bars or what-have-you. The most recent cookie I ate (homemade) had 78 calories, 1.2 grams of protein, 1.4 grams fiber, and some contributions to vitamin/mineral goals. It cost some extra calories, but that it was a cookie didn't wipe out the value of those nutrients in my day, y'know?

IMO, the idea that there are "healthy foods" and "crap foods" is not helpful. Sure, if you crave things that have high calories, not much nutrition, you'll need to limit those in some way . . . probably forever. If you don't want to totally give them up forever, maybe think about how to fit them in along the way, so that when you reach goal weight, you don't need to find a whole new set of habits . . . or worse yet, get on a cycle of yo-yo gain and loss (that's probably the worst health-wise!).

Best wishes!

Over the years, I've learned what foods I can moderate and from which foods I must abstain. For example, I can moderate chocolate chips, squares, or minis, but not chocolate bars, and I am currently struggling to moderate a big jug of chocolate covered almonds. I probably won't buy that again.

I have given up on trying to moderate my favorite flavors of ice cream. My brain insists on seeing a pint as a serving. (I've tried Halo Top, etc, but don't care for that.)

If you're an abstainer, ignore all the well meaning advice suggesting you moderate. But many of us can moderate some foods while finding others to be trigger foods.

Are You an Abstainer or a Moderator?

"...When dealing with temptation, I often see the advice, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they avoid absolutes and strict rules.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Aha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often–two and even three times a day–I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count?’” “Don’t I deserve this?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control...."

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-project/201210/are-you-abstainer-or-moderator