Starting over and a little flustered

AshTrixxy wrote: »

Hey there! I'm Ashley and I need suggestions, new accountability buds, and support. Like many of us, this isn't my first rodeo. However, I am now more frustrated than ever. Backstory: I'm dealing with a lot of stress and trying to overcome a challenging environment. My husband and I moved to a new state, I'm working a new job that I don't love (I'm a hospice nurse), and buying/waiting for our house to be built (first time home buyers). We live with friends who regularly eat junky food and there is no scale in sight (nor anywhere to put one). I hate where I am health wise, ready to start making the changes necessary, and would love fresh ideas on how to deal with all this stress. Also, I know I can take measurements to help track progress, but any other ideas on tracking until I get a scale back? It's incredibly frustrating not knowing my weight and I haven't for 3 months now!
#StartingOver #Stressed #NeedSupport

Hi, Ashley, and welcome back!

Oh, man: Your life does sound really high stress right now! Would it make sense to work on that directly, before getting super much into diet/exercise challenges?

Different things tend to work for different people, and/or be achievable for different people, on the stress-reduction front: Sleep improvements, mild/manageable exercise (focused more on stress reduction than "fitness at all costs"), meditation, prayer if you have a faith tradition that sustains you, journaling, bubble baths, aromatherapy, calming/enjoyable music, soothing hobbies (varies, but maybe adult coloring books, sketching, needlework - things that are absorbing for you and enjoyable rather than extra stress), self-help books . . . sometimes even therapy/counseling is just the trick.

If you're the kind of person who can de-stress by taking control, then maybe working toward an exercise routine, or a more healthful way of eating, can be a good thing. It's hard to say: For some folks, those kinds of steps are empowering, for others they just add to stress. You know yourself best!

As far as other (non scale) tracking methods: You could use the fit of some specific item(s) of clothing, either things that fit in a particular way now, and striving toward having them feel a little looser; or some slightly-small goal clothing that you can try on periodically.

Tape measurements are maybe useful, but maybe more like once a month, and with some forethought about how to make sure you're measuring the same spots every time.

Another option is photos, front, back, side; similar lighting and clothing (snug but not super-compressive; or revealing, such as a bathing suit or sports bra and short shorts - don't go with undies because someday you'll want to brag to friends and show them before/after or post here, and undies are kinda embarrassing (plus against MFP rules). Those, too, would be more like monthly.

As far as eating, I'm personally a fan of starting by logging how you eat now, and tweaking that gradually to meet calorie and nutritional goals among other things. (You, in your circumstances, may not need to add the stress of pedal to the metal strict rules, restrictions, revolutionary changes . . . unless that's the kind of thing that really motivates/encourages you. Customizing to individual preferences, strengths, limitations is really important, IMO.) Personally, on the eating front, this is what I did (and have done to maintain a healthy weight for 6+ years since losing):

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10636388/free-customized-personal-weight-loss-eating-plan-not-spam-or-mlm/p1

I'm not saying that's universally the right approach: Like I said, we're all individuals, and different things work for different people. Me, I don't like strict rules and restrictions . . . they tend to bring out my internal rebel. 😆

On the activity front, what worked for me was starting from something enjoyable (or at least tolerable?) that was a small, manageable bit of a challenge, and progressing gradually but steadily from there, increasing the challenge as I got fitter, still keeping it manageable and compatible with good overall life balance (enough time and energy for other important values like job, family, home chores, etc.). Again, that may not be your best strategy, but it's one option.

Also, chipping away at increasing daily life activity can make a meaningful contribution, though it's not calories you can log and eat back. There's more about that here:

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10610953/neat-improvement-strategies-to-improve-weight-loss/p1

Lots of people's ideas there: Some won't fit well in your life, but maybe some will.

I'd encourage you to think in terms of setting process goals, as opposed to outcome goals, then working toward those. In the realms of bodyweight and fitness, we control the process, but the outcomes can vary. Process goals would be things like logging food daily, making an exercise/activity plan and carrying it out, and that sort of thing. (Outcome goals are things like "weigh X on Y date" or "deadlift X pounds by June" or "look cute in bikini by vacation". Process goals can lead us there, but outcomes have some randomness or luck built in.)

Sadly, I'm a pretty sub-par MFP friend or accountability buddy. I do accept friend request from people I've interacted with in the Community, but I'm more of a Community gal than an MFP friend-feed cheerleader, realistically. (Like I said, I'm also in long-term maintenance, so we're at different stages.)

Finally, I want to express my respect and appreciation to you as a hospice nurse: I'm old (66), have seen the life-affirming, generous, difficult thing that hospice personnel do. We had hospice services for my late mother-in-law, my late mother, and I've also been through medically-supported (but not formal hospice) loss of friends, late spouse, father, and other relatives. Bless you, for what you do. I recognize that that's a stressful job, and also that your specific job placement situation may add other stresses on top of those inherent in that deep form of service . . . but I appreciate profoundly what you and others do, in that setting. Thank you, sincerely - what you do is a huge gift to others.

Please know that I'm out here cheering for you, on the health, fitness, healthy bodyweight achievement front, and will help if I can. Those improvements have been huge for me, and if I can help others, I want to.

Wishing you success!