How do you handle your haters?
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borichfan2
Posts: 8 Member
What do you do about your Haters (people who talk about you behind your back & act jealous of your weight loss success, because they simply don't have the motivation or will power to do it themselves? I take their Negativity & use it for my Motivation to shove my success in their face!
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Replies
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borichfan2 wrote: »...Motivation to shove my success in their face!
Guess that explains why you have haters...
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borichfan2 wrote: »What do you do about your Haters (people who talk about you behind your back & act jealous of your weight loss success, because they simply don't have the motivation or will power to do it themselves? I take their Negativity & use it for my Motivation to shove my success in their face!
There's a saying from someone (no idea who) about 'what other people think of you is none of your business.'
In your 20s you're often very anxious about the good opinion of others, and can have sleepless nights suffering. I know I did. I had raging anxiety and didn't even know what that was.
Now I'm an old lady, better medicated, better adjusted, I am always happy for the people around me, and less worried about my own happiness. That sounds weird...
If fatness is not a moral issue, then it cannot be morally judged. So for people to like it or dislike it is just a personal preference issue. Let it go. just relax. If you don't get uptight at them for liking chocolate icecream over strawberry, despite that clearly being an insane preference, then you can just let them be where they are at regarding odd issues like your weight, and be kind.
As you become kinder to others you will find yourself being kinder to yourself. I recommend it.
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borichfan2 wrote: »What do you do about your Haters (people who talk about you behind your back & act jealous of your weight loss success, because they simply don't have the motivation or will power to do it themselves? I take their Negativity & use it for my Motivation to shove my success in their face!
Your pre-edited post made you sound less like an *kitten*.
Just sayin'.... 😀2 -
Ignore them and laugh it off… it’s their problem not mine3
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If they're friends, I try to be kind to them, be supportive and not take it personally. If they're not my friends, then why would I care?
As my mom used to always tell me, two wrongs don't make a right.9 -
I would handle it by graduating from middle school and start making friends who are adults.
And by acting like an adult myself.14 -
If I even have "haters," I don't know who they are, nor do I care.
Dunno, I guess I left that kind of silliness in middle school where it belongs?13 -
Smile and strut with the badge of honor.
No need to brag or discuss weight/diet unless someone asks. MHO3 -
Haters can be family, friends, co workers and acquaintances. It's not just a childhood problem. With no provocation.
If it's someone close to you, talk to them about their behavior if they don't stop the offending behavior I would distance or no.longer associate with the person, depending on how bad the behavior is. If it's a co worker, I would only communicate with them as much as needed, other then that I'm ignoring them or reporting to management depending how severe behavior is.
In my experience a lot of times people get worse and make it unbearable to deal with them.
People really get ridiculously jealous, but refuse to make changes and do something good for themselves and personally I don't have time for it.
We can only be so kind to others and I'm tired of being kinder then people refuse to treat me.
Congratulations on your success, keep doing what's good for you . Sorry you're going through this. 😉0 -
If I even have "haters," I don't know who they are, nor do I care.
Dunno, I guess I left that kind of silliness in middle school where it belongs?
Bowling for Soup has this great song called High School (or apparently middle school) Never Ends.
OK, OP, even tho it now sounds worse than what you originally posted and, you're somewhat sociable, here are some tips.
First, yeah, screw anyone who's not supportive.
Second, you're going to encounter more social events where meals are involved so can you make substitutions? Ask for sauce on the side? See if they can decalorify the cooking method? Order a salad, being mindful of the reeeeeeally caloric foods that aren't needed on it? Get something small but end up talking and socializing so much you eat only half the meal? Say screw it, it's once in a blue moon and I really wanna polish off that macaroni and cheese?
Didn't the person in your original post just basically roll their eyes when they were told you went somewhere more healthy to eat first?2 -
californiagirl1969 wrote: »Haters can be family, friends, co workers and acquaintances. It's not just a childhood problem. With no provocation.
If it's someone close to you, talk to them about their behavior if they don't stop the offending behavior I would distance or no.longer associate with the person, depending on how bad the behavior is. If it's a co worker, I would only communicate with them as much as needed, other then that I'm ignoring them or reporting to management depending how severe behavior is.
In my experience a lot of times people get worse and make it unbearable to deal with them.
People really get ridiculously jealous, but refuse to make changes and do something good for themselves and personally I don't have time for it.
We can only be so kind to others and I'm tired of being kinder then people refuse to treat me.
Congratulations on your success, keep doing what's good for you . Sorry you're going through this. 😉
People still may behave in critical or dismissive ways when we and they are all adults.
How much and in what way we can react to it? That can have some dimensions that change with maturity, or not.
Some people are jerks, yup. My reaction to people who are jerks is my choice, not theirs. If the jerks have literal power over us (our boss or something), yeah, that can get complicated. Otherwise, just ignoring them is an option.
I'm one who read the OP before it was edited. If - for example - Janie tells me that Susie rolled her eyes when Janie reported something I said in a phone conversation about my food/eating decisions that harm no one else . . . well, characterizing things like that as "haters" that we need strategies to handle . . . that seems a little melodramatic to me, honestly.
Also, admittedly without knowing the people involved in detail, "people who talk about you behind your back & act jealous of your weight loss success, because they simply don't have the motivation or will power to do it themselves" seems to be making a lot of assumptions about other people's thought process and internal state (always shaky reasoning, IMO). Let alone "shove my success in their face".
I've had some people say complete nonsense things to me about my weight loss: Insisting that I couldn't lose weight without cutting carbs because "all the books said that" (when I'd already lost 50+ pounds, eating the carbs and she knew it), that I'd obviously lost weight because of the exercise I'd been doing at the same level for over a decade before losing weight (and a different she knew that), that they were worried I might be anorexic when I was eating 2000+ calories most days and all my health markers had become excellent . . . I could go on.
To me, those are not "haters" nor do I need to over-react to them. Honestly, they just makes me laugh. I'm still friends with those people today, because generally they're decent people, they just have some silly ideas about body weight and weight loss, and yeah, some of those ideas are possibly protecting their self-image from their own inaction on weight management and fitness . . . which is sad to me, honestly, not "hater"-esque, IMO.
I guess it's better to use others' perceived negativity as motivation rather than being discouraged by it . . . returning the negativity by perceiving them as "haters" seems like it hurts me more than it does them. Drop them or don't, let it go, go on with life: That makes more sense to me.
Obviously, some others' mileage varies on this question.7 -
I've heard this phrased a few ways, but here's my take that I try to embrace:
"If no one hates you, then you're doing something wrong."
Taking that a step further, for me, if no one hates me, then I'm not doing anything great - people hate you because they are jealous of you, hate themselves, or want what you are doing/have. This is even true for me if I really evaluate why I dislike someone (outside of just "bad" people, but that's not what I'm talking about here).
I'm not there to shove it in their face - I'm doing what I'm doing for me, not them. But a few haters along the way tells me I am doing something right.
In fact, chances are, if you're trying to change your life, the people "in your circle" are going to evolve and change as well, since the previous people can no longer relate to you - that may come out as a "hater" but it has more to do with themselves and not being able to relate to you anymore than it does about you.
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Sometimes when you lose weight, one has to lose old social ties. This is why weight loss has to be a personal journey done for yourself not others. If all of us on here counted on loving support from those in our homes and workalike to reach our goals...we'd fail for sure.
Friends, family, and co-workers can be threatened by someone achieving the difficult task of losing weight.. and they lash out. Not our problem to solve that.. but move on.. find people in your life who are supportive and have more confidence and can have an attractive friend without feeling less of a person themselves.2 -
If I have any haters I don't know about it.
All sounds a bit melodramatic to me.9 -
I don't think I have anyone like that in my life. If I do have haters, I guess I respond by generally just not noticing them. Focus on the positive people in your life. When people show you who they really are, act accordingly.5
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You can't change other people
Only how you react to them.
I might have this tattooed on my body somewhere so I remember to apply that information every day 😊5 -
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I don’t interact or keep anyone in my life that disturbs my peace . Period .4
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I don't think anyone's ever hated or been jealous of my weight loss. I *have* had people concerned....a nurse/caretaker client who thought I was sick and my boss and another client who said I should eat a burrito but I took both as compliments. 4
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I have plenty of haters and am quite happy to have them!
Jealous of my weight loss? I'm doing something right. Jealous of my business? I'm doing something right. Jealous of my personal life? I'm doing something right.
You can't control what others think or say about you. You CAN control how you react to them.3
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