When Relationship Go South: Staying On Course

Sorry about the situation and proud of your determination!

That said, a bowl of stew and a biscuit won't put 53 pounds back on your body. Congrats on the weightloss and here's to hoping your relationship ends up for the better, whatever that may be!

It took me a long time and a rough patch with my partner to figure out that I need to stop being healthy for him and start doing it for myself.

We're doing well together now, but I'm still doing this for myself.

I'm worth it.

Who knew?

I bet you'll figure out that you are too.

Life is full of peaks and valleys and you will persevere and be a better man for the experience. Congratulations on your accomplishments and keep up the great work.

I am so, so sorry for what you're going through. But you know what, kudos to you for not giving in. It's not worth it to throw it all away and go back to your old self. It will cause you to feel worse, and then it all goes down from there. You CAN do this and this site has amazing support!

There comes a point in one's life that they have to look after themselves first. I feel selfish doing it but I have finally realized at my age that what is important is me and my well being. No one can do that for me. Only me. Only you can look after you and your well being. By doing this, you can handle anything that comes your way. Things work the way they are suppose to and are subject to change on a regular basis. Congrats on your huge weight loss!

I regret to hear that your are going through difficult times in your relationship. The good thing about having a fitness plan that works is that it's the one thing that can stay consistent through all the inconsistencies in life. With that being said, your weight loss accomplishment is something to be commended and something to be cherished. Continue to be good to your body and your further success will take you to a more rewarding and loving relationship in the future.When you love yourself first, love will come find you again. You deserve it. You're a winner!

so sorry to hear of your relationship troubles. It is definitively hard not to run to food when we feel stressed, lonely, hurt, angry, depressed or all of the above. Just hang in there. You have a great attitude . Keep up the good work you started, you worked hard to lose 53lbs you should be proud of yourself. When things have worked out , however it ends up you want to be proud of yourself that you stuck with it. NOT kicking yourself for gaining it back. YOU CAN DO THIS. Try to find another outlet besides food. I try to turn to walking or crochet, it helps me to stay away from the food......

I think that it's awesome that you're keeping strong about your health after such a blow to your heart...Stick with it, because being unhealthy isn't going to make things any easier!

Awww, I'm sorry,:brokenheart:
but good for you for sticking with it, you are doing this for yourself!
You will be so glad that you did in the end. Try to remember that everything
happens for a reason. She may have been the one that prompted you to do
this but it has been all you putting in the hard work,:flowerforyou: no-one can do that for you
(I wish) lol.

I along with many others here I'm sure, are in your corner and will support you
all we can. Together we can certainly do this, good luck!
Add me if you want!

A similar situation happened with me and my workout plan. I had been doing some Turbo Jam and Weight Watchers points plus program since January when I met my ex that March. It was l.o.v.e. at first sight. We were inseperable and our lives just fit together perfectly. Sadly, because of some of his personal issues, we split in July. We actually parted ways the day we were supposed to start P90x together. I was heartbroken and violently ill for a few days, so I got myself mentally prepared and started P90x by myself the next week. He never started and I had some feelings of guilt about our workout plans. He was on the right track until the breakup. I stayed focused and he didn't. That is what worked for me. I owe it to myself to get healthy. My ex, like yours, was one of my biggest supporters and motivators. It's strange doing all of this without him, but this is my life and must be lived accordingly. I'm glad you decided to carry on with your program. Feel free to friend me if you'd like. Good luck!!

But I'm not going to. I worked too damn hard these past months to get where I am. And I have a long way yet to go, but I'm not going to throw it all away on the fickle whims of human relationships that sour. I'm "sticking with the program", and seeing where it leads me. If she and I eventually reconcile, that will be great. If not, I still have to think of me, and what my future means to me now... an importance that I spent too many years neglecting for myself. Come what may, I owe it primarily to ME to keep my feet on this path.

Absolutely!! I'm really, really sorry that you're going through this. Breakups suck SO bad. Give yourself permission to grieve it, but not to forget that you deserve and are worth healthy food and exercise. Unfortunately, relationships come and go but YOU will always be YOU and you have worked so hard. I was already taking babysteps to better myself, but when my husband left it strengthened my resolve (once I got over the initial mind blowing shock and agony) to make MYSELF happy. Plus, exercise is great for releasing stress! But if you succumb to the stew once or twice, it won't be the end of the world. You can always do better the next day.

I sympathize and can very much relate to what youre going through. I recently seperated from my ex as well. Its VERY hard to stay focused when we feel such emptiness in our hearts and sometimes want to fill it with something thats never let us down, food. I have my days where i try my hardest to turn my heartache into motivation, to better myself in EVERY WAY so that if its meant to be or if i ever run into him again he can see what he missed out on. But then there are those days especially the weekends which are extra tough since thats when we were inseperable. This weekend for instance ive been very sensitive and i will admit ive drowned my sorrows with some not very healthy foods and alcohol and now i feel worse because not only do i have him on my mind but now i also feel guilty and miserable because i took a step back in reaching my goal. Youve got this!!! Time is the answer. You won't forget her but dont loose yourself along the way.

UPDATE: Apparently she "decided" for us both that it's over. I'm okay with it, actually a bit relieved. I was looking at a 2300 mile relocation, leaving family and friends, my apartment... basically everything. Better to have found out now, I guess. I wish her well. And I'm NOT going to wait another 16 years before trying again!

Bro!!! you can do this man, Im very proud of you for sticking to it... I can relate to this and will say this: You are very lucky my man and this is why, you have closure now, you can move on and make yourself available to someone who you can be happy with.

I on the other hand have been with my wife for about 10 yrs and it has gone sour, I'm younger than her by about 8 yrs and I helped her raise her 2 kids and have one of our own, I think she's going through some midlife crisis. now that her kids are grown up she wants to act single and go out and tells me she doesn't love me anymore blah blah blah,....and I have become the only reliable parent for my little 5 yr old boy.....I really really want to move on because I'm still young enough to meet someone new, start a new family with someone that can appreciate the great guy I know I am. But my wife is freakin crazy, she want's to stay and live together and have me help her sustain the household but doesn't want a relationship with me, I sleep on the freakin Couch bro! I hate it! I have a lot of friends I hang with and I meet nice girls all the time but I can't go anywhere with it because of my complicated situation (living with my ***** wife). cuz really who wants to hook up with a guy who still lives with his wife. I work out a lot and im very active and I there's is nothing more I would want then being able to break free and be able to move on with my life. so Mr. Star..you are very lucky and I think your ex probably did you a HUGE favor,

anyways, add me bro and stay positive and keep active...any one else out there feel free to add me....let's **** **** up!

I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason. Although it seems some of things you were worried about may have you at ease now, I'm sure it's still going to hurt for awhile. My fiance and I broke up very close to a year ago in October 2010 and I signed up on MFP in November. HOWEVER, I was way too intimidated at the thought of another HUGE life change. So things didn't click until the beginning of this past June and I logged back in for the first time since November and am very happy I did. I still wonder though how much more progress I would have made with those extra 7 months. I really don't think I could have done this if I was still with him, which is why I believe us splitting happened for a reason. Sounds like you just need to keep doing what you're doing, do it for you.