Really having a hard time getting back on the wagon

This is mostly a vent... Because I know what I need to do, I'm just having trouble sticking with it.

I never achieved my goal weight, but, over the past ten or so years, I have managed to either continue losing or at least maintain my weight. Just before COVID, though, I found myself... not caring as much. And then once we were in the full swing of the pandemic, I didn't care at all. Depression seemed to dig its claws into me.

Next thing I know, I've gained 30lbs. That's just... unbelievable to me. After so long of maintaining or losing, with just little blips here are there... I can't believe I've let this happen. And I can't stop.

I have good weeks, where I'm able to stay within my calories and get several days of cardio and weight training. But then I inevitably fall off again.

I just don't know what to do to stop myself falling back into these old, harmful habits...

Replies

  • wwood008
    wwood008 Posts: 30 Member
    I’m right there with you. The last time I was on MFP was the beginning of 2020, and I actually managed to lose weight at the very beginning of lockdown. Then I lost my aunt to COVID, lost my job to COVID, and my dog passed away and it threw me. That was just the start of the slip though, I’m up 20 pounds, with another 20 to go on top of that to hit my goal weight. I don’t have any advice other than to say it’s ok that you’re not perfect. I struggled with depression and anxiety pre-COVID and it has just seemed to get worse as the time goes on.
  • msbridgetteanne
    msbridgetteanne Posts: 37 Member
    I’m in the same boat as you. Just keep tracking. Even if over calories. Have you tracked everything you ate today? If not, take a moment and try to remember it all. Enter it the best you can. Don’t judge yourself. It’s just data.

    The way I think about it is that I’m longing for motivation, but I need discipline. Logging is my goal. Just that step of logging is keeping me more accountable.

    Thanks for this. No, I started logging everything yesterday but gave up in the afternoon... But I'm going to do it today, even if I end up over my calories! Good luck to you.
    wwood008 wrote: »
    I’m right there with you. The last time I was on MFP was the beginning of 2020, and I actually managed to lose weight at the very beginning of lockdown. Then I lost my aunt to COVID, lost my job to COVID, and my dog passed away and it threw me. That was just the start of the slip though, I’m up 20 pounds, with another 20 to go on top of that to hit my goal weight. I don’t have any advice other than to say it’s ok that you’re not perfect. I struggled with depression and anxiety pre-COVID and it has just seemed to get worse as the time goes on.

    I'm so sorry you went through that. That's a lot for someone to have to deal with, let alone in that short amount of time. I hope things are starting to look up for you.
  • MsCzar
    MsCzar Posts: 902 Member
    edited March 2022
    Struggling here as well. I did great during the Covid shutdown, but am in peril of losing hard-fought ground since I haven't mastered dealing with ever-present, abundant and tasty work food.
    Some things that have been helpful:
    1. Measuring/Weighing/Logging Food in Real Time. Yes, even on binge-y out-of-control days. Why is it effective? Because what you might think of as a total disaster by 2pm might only be at or a slight excess of maintenance. I can't tell you how many times I've thought, 'Oh, I've totally blown it today!' - only to find I've eaten ~2300 cals. Not deficit, but not a weight gain; and with a light supper, hardly a disaster. Had I waited until the end of the day to log my food, I would have likely eaten 6000+ calories.
    2. Diet and Exercise Are Two Separate Things. Even when I've availed myself - TWICE - of the job site free ice cream van (yes, we have one!) and eaten a half dozen 'fun sized' candy bars, a high calorie breakfast and even higher calorie lunch, I still get my 30 minutes of cardio in. The ~400 calories burned won't make a dent in mitigating the calories I've eaten, but it's still good for my heart, lymphatic system, muscles, immune system and general health. I don't let a calorie free for all become an excuse not to exercise.
    3. UN-Cheat Days. Some people like to have a 'cheat day' whilst slimming. When I have fallen hard off the deficit wagon, I plan for a couple of Un-Cheat Days - as in, 'OK, just for Tuesday I'm going to eat 1000-1200 calories.' I carefully plan my menu and tell myself that it's just for one day. If I want something tempting, I tell myself I'll have it tomorrow... or maybe on the weekend... or maybe next week...

    4. If you can't yet manage a whole day in deficit, take a run at 2-3 hours when you don't eat. Sometimes just stopping for a short while helps re-center your efforts.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,303 Member
    “But I'm going to do it today, even if I end up over my calories! “

    This turned out to be the most important thing for me. The process calls for logging everything. Where does it say we only log the good days? The process is more important than the numbers for any particular day or week. Calorie counting is complex. There’s a learning curve.

    And although we get better with time, there will always be counting gray areas. And a variety of ways to make missteps and mistakes. Bad or inadequate plans, stress, and fatigue can put us over our numbers. But there are also misread menus and NI. Even simple math mistakes. It’s hard to put in an error free week. It took several times for me to remember that looking at NI on a package was meaningless without checking the serving size. And that “crusted” fish a that restaurant is actually fried. The good news is calorie counting doesn’t have to be perfect to work.

    Weight loss is mostly about problem solving and persistence. Going over our number is a problem to be solved. We won’t get to goal throwing up our hands and walking away from problems.

    Personally I didn’t like recording overages but pretty soon the voice in my head started saying “wait a minute, I’m going to have to count this.” That was a big step. Make your food diary the center of your program and you’ll never have to start over again. Good luck.
  • emmamcgarity
    emmamcgarity Posts: 1,577 Member
    Hoping you had a good day yesterday and that today is even better.
  • tonygermano2
    tonygermano2 Posts: 31 Member
    Same boat. I’m at a dangerously high weight and up until recently lacked any motivation. While the cravings and mental aspect remain a struggle, there is some great advice on here. I can control what I track even when I’m not “in control” of what I eat (or I seem to be out of control). Tracking eventually leads to data and can begin rolling downhill like a snowball headed for hell. I keep reminding myself of my “why” and I will keep at it.
    I don’t exactly remember where I heard it from, but I heard recently that motivation and discipline ebb and flow, but if you can still be consistent over time it becomes “muscle” memory - and “muscle” memory trumps motivation and discipline.
  • MichelleMcKeeRN
    MichelleMcKeeRN Posts: 446 Member
    I think a lot of people gained weight during the last two years; you aren’t alone. In the month or two after I got Covid, I packed on 10-15 lbs. That is pretty crazy for me and frankly quite depressing. One day, I woke up and decided to be better. I started going on walks/hikes around the park. In my spare time, I look at fun healthier recipes to make. I have been making more of an effort to eat more veggies and balanced meals/snacks. I started going to the gym again. I honestly enjoy going to the gym. I am not sure why my head tries to talk me out of it. I am not counting calories or weighing yet-that is the next step.
  • PapaBeast314
    PapaBeast314 Posts: 32 Member
    OMG - completely the same!